Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Traditional festivals - What are the four aspects of civilized etiquette?
What are the four aspects of civilized etiquette?
What are the four aspects of civilized etiquette? Chinese etiquette culture has a long history. In life, etiquette involves all aspects of people's lives. Etiquette is the minimum moral standard that human beings require people to abide by in order to maintain the normal life of society. What are the four aspects of civilized etiquette?
What are the four aspects of civilized etiquette? 1 First, respect the elderly and the virtuous.
In China, from primitive society to feudal society, the political and ethical relationship between people is linked by the blood relationship between clan and family, so we respect our ancestors in the family and our elders in the society. Because the ancient society of China respected the rule of courtesy and benevolent governance, respecting the virtuous became a historical requirement.
Mencius said, "When you care for the aged and respect the virtuous, when Jie Jun is in power, you celebrate" (Note: Mencius told his son to leave). Celebration is a kind of reward. This ancient traditional etiquette has played an important role in the formation of warm interpersonal relations and orderly and harmonious ethical relations, both in the past and now.
When it comes to respecting the elderly, this is a major feature of China's traditional culture. Respecting the elderly in ancient times did not stop at thinking and preaching, nor did it stop at the lives of ordinary people. From the monarch, the gentry to the whole official and gentry class, a set of rules for respecting the elderly and a ritual system for supporting the elderly are being practiced and formed.
"Book of Rites" records: "The ancient way, 50 non-Yunnan disciples, awarded to the elderly" (note: "Book of Rites"). In other words, people over the age of 50 can not go hunting, but they should get a rich share in the distribution of prey. Some ancient books also made clear requirements for the volume when talking to the elderly. For example, "Reading while Raising" said: "Serving parents, the voice is easily silenced. Don't yell at them because of trivial things "(note:" read while raising. " Words "). Disciples' Rules also said: "You should not be humble and ignorant. "
In a word, from kings and nobles to Shu Ren people, they should follow certain rules and express their filial piety to their elders in various ways, which is an important symbol to measure whether a person has self-cultivation.
Any form of society needs to respect the elderly. Not only because the elderly have deep experience, wide knowledge and experience, long working hours and great contribution to society, they deserve respect; At the same time, they are physically and mentally poor and need the thoughtfulness, care and help of young people.
As a polite modern youth, for the sake of the elderly and the elderly, Lu Yu should humbly give up his seat by bus. In shops, theaters and other public places, we should try our best to create convenient conditions for the elderly.
During the Three Kingdoms period, there was an allusion about respecting the virtuous, which was called "three visits to the thatched cottage". It is said that Liu Bei admired Zhuge Liang's talent and wanted to ask him to help him conquer the world, so he took the trouble to personally invite Zhuge Liang to the thatched cottage where he lived. Zhuge Liang agreed repeatedly. Since then, Zhuge Liang's great wisdom and courage have been fully exerted and he devoted himself to Liu Bei's career.
Throughout the ancient history of China, most monarchs who made achievements attached great importance to respecting and using the virtuous, and regarded it as a decisive factor of national security. If you don't respect the sages at ordinary times, they won't share their worries for the country in an emergency. It's not that talented people don't think about the country, but that the country can't forget the scholars for a long time, so "people who can survive in their own country never exist" (note: Mozi's pro-scholars).
Today, we advocate carrying forward the ancient "ceremony of respecting the sages", and we must give the modern new concept of talents the content of respecting knowledge and talents.
In today's society, all kinds of competition are becoming more and more fierce. All kinds of competition, in the final analysis, is the competition of talents. To maintain an advantageous position in the fierce competition, we must have a strong talent team.
Only by respecting and caring for talents from thoughts to concrete actions can the whole society form a good environment for respecting knowledge and talents, and form a strong enough talent team to be invincible.
Second, the instrument is still suitable.
The Chinese nation has always paid attention to expressing people's rich inner feelings through appropriate forms. There are many established ceremonies for major festivals and events. If you get a bumper harvest, you should celebrate it with songs; When you are in trouble, pray for the blessing of the gods. Over time, many festivals and etiquette forms have been formed, such as Spring Festival, Lantern Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and Double Ninth Festival. Almost every festival has its own specific customs.
In ancient times, weddings, funerals, celebrations and other activities were regarded as major events in social life, and their etiquette was particularly meticulous, with specific provisions from clothing and utensils to specifications, procedures and etiquette.
Today, the most important thing for us to maintain and carry forward the excellent etiquette civilization of the Chinese nation is propriety. That is to say, as Cheng Cheng advocated, "luxury is born in literature, and excessive literature is luxury, but not enough for frugality" (Volume 6 of Cheng Cheng Cheng Ji Shi Cheng Wai Shu). It can be seen that the scale of etiquette is appropriate and proper decoration is necessary, but excessive decoration will cause extravagance and waste, which deviates from the requirements of etiquette; It is also inappropriate to be too stingy and hinder the implementation of the ceremony. This view of the ancients is very incisive and has a guiding role for us to hold various ceremonies today.
In today's social activities, it is still indispensable to hold various ceremonies. Companies open, children get married, and various festivals have different ceremonies. If we want to grasp the scale of various ceremonies, we must grasp the principle of moderation and combine the necessary ceremonies with modern civilization. Related activities are both grand and flashy. In particular, we should oppose extravagance and waste by taking advantage of weddings, funerals and celebrations;
Oppose the view that the more grand the ceremony, the better and the more luxurious it is. Nowadays, many newlyweds are heavily in debt, which makes the wedding ostentatious, deceptive and jealous, causing great waste. Even some leading cadres, regardless of the influence, use power for personal gain for their children and accept large amounts of gifts to help their children grow up in luxury. This is not in line with our fine tradition, nor with our national conditions and people's feelings.
Third, be polite to others.
In any civilized society and civilized nation, people always attach great importance to politeness. Because politeness is one of the moral norms of human society to promote friendly and harmonious interpersonal communication, and it is also a bridge to build harmony with others.
It marks the civilized process of a society and reflects the spiritual outlook of a nation. The Chinese nation has always attached great importance to observing etiquette and treating people with courtesy. These interesting experiences, past and present, are very enlightening. Specifically, there are two main points:
(a) Be kind to others
Get along with others, be a good person first. And this "goodness" should be sincere from the heart, sincere in the middle and formal in appearance, not rhetoric and red tape. The Book of Rites says, "Those who treat their husbands with courtesy have an inferiority complex and respect others" (Note: Book of Rites Quli Shang).
It is not enough if you are respectful and enthusiastic on the surface, but hypocritical on the inside, or just respectful on the inside, but without expression. Should be consistent in appearance, in order to fundamentally eliminate the barriers and frictions between people, and then respect and care for each other and get along well with each other.
To respect others, we must treat others equally, regardless of rank or rank. If you only pay homage to the upper class, take people with financial power and take people with interests, it is actually what villains do. The Analects of Confucius, Zi Han, recorded that Confucius saw people wearing mourning clothes, hats and dresses and blind people. As soon as they met, even if these people were young, Confucius would stand up. When walking in front of others, you must walk very fast to show your respect.
The ancients also had some ways to respect others. First of all, we should respect the wishes of others, understand their needs and taboos, and don't force others to do so. Don't ask others to do what they can't do, and don't ask others to accept what they don't like.
The ancients said, "Don't blame others for not doing as well as yourself, not being strong for others, and not suffering for being bad for others" (Note: Wen Zi Wei Xiang). "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you (Note: Yan Yuan, Analects of Confucius)" means this.
Humor and well-meaning jokes can often bring people relaxed and happy in the communication with people, but never make fun of them. It is very disrespectful to make jokes about other people's names or give them indecent nicknames. In the Northern and Southern Dynasties, Yan Zhitui once commented on this disrespect and resentment: "Fools in this world play with each other. Or those who are called dolphins and calves, knowledgeable, onlookers, and want to cover their ears, the situation is right. "
(2) Reciprocity
Politeness is an important criterion for being polite to others. In other words, to accept the kindness of others, we must reciprocate with the same courtesy. In this way, interpersonal communication can go on in a virtuous circle in an equal and friendly way. Therefore, the Book of Rites said: "It is indecent to return the courtesy, but not to come; It is also impolite to come and not go "(Note: On the Book of Rites and Quli).
For the benefactor, it should be a drop of water, and the spring will repay each other. In the eyes of the ancients, nothing hurts more than ingratitude. Confucius said, "Good for good will persuade the people"; "Good for evil, the people will be rewarded." .
It can be seen that "repaying kindness with kindness" is the basic moral cultivation of treating people with things. Of course, the politeness of communication should also be moderate. The original intention of giving gifts is to show respect and answer. The so-called gifts are light and heavy, not the more the better. As the article "Zhuangzi Sanmu" said: "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship between villains is as sweet as water; A gentleman is indifferent to his relatives, but a villain is willing to give up. Joining for no reason will also leave for no reason. "
Fourth, the instrument has integrity.
A person's appearance and behavior are the expression of his accomplishment and civilization. The ancients believed that dignified manners, moderation in advance and retreat, respect for deacons and proper manners can not only safeguard personal dignity, but also help to learn morality. Ancient thinkers once compared the fur of animals with the appearance of people. Birds and beasts can't be animals without fur. People lose their manners, that is, they are not people.
The ancient people's requirements for musical instruments are inevitably too complicated. The most important of these are the following three aspects.
(1) Dress and appearance: Disciple's rules require: "The crown must be straight, the knot must be tied, and the socks and shoes must be tight." These norms are still necessary for modern people. Proper knotting of hats and strict cutting of shoes and socks are the basic requirements of the concept of musical instrument category.
If a person is disheveled and his shoes and socks are not straight, it will often make people feel disgusted or even disgusting. Who will be close to such a person? Of course, the dress must be suitable for your occupation, age, physiological characteristics, living environment and the customs of the people you contact, and make a decent and generous choice. Make-up and affectation will only backfire.
(2) Behavior: Confucius said: "A gentleman is not strong if he is not heavy, and his learning is not solid" (Note: "The Analects of Confucius"). This is because only Zhuang Zhong has dignity. Otherwise, even if you study, you can't consolidate it.
The specific requirements are "stand like a pine, sit like a bell, walk like the wind and lie like a bow", that is, stand straight, sit steady, move neatly and sleep sideways. You should not be frivolous or profane in public, but be solemn, cautious and calm, so that "see no evil, don't listen to indecent assault, don't speak indecent assault, don't move indecent assault" (Note: The Analects of Yan Yuan) conforms to etiquette norms everywhere.
(3) Speech rhetoric: Language is a mirror of people's thoughts, emotions and cultural accomplishment. The ancients said that "words are sincere, so they are also useful" (note: text). It makes sense to take sincere revision of words as the foundation of career. And we must "keep our word" (note: The Analects of Confucius Lutz). It is impossible to win the trust of a glib person.
The second is to be cautious. The ancients said that man was born for heaven, and his tongue was tightly wrapped with two rows of teeth, and his lips were covered with a thick layer, which means that people must be careful what they say. Of course, the ancients did not ask people to talk less, but to speak according to the specific situation. Speak when you speak, and be silent when you are silent.
Confucius said, "Those who can talk without talking will lose others.": Don't talk to it in words, it's rude. He who knows does not lose his person, and he who speaks does not lose his words "(Note: The Analects of Wei Linggong). That's the truth.
What are the four aspects of civilized etiquette? 2. Basic etiquette
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Instrument refers to a person's appearance, which is the external expression of a person's mental outlook. A person's hygiene and cultivation habits. Clothing and image are closely related to maintaining a dignified and generous appearance.
① Personal hygiene: Hygiene is the key to beautiful appearance and the basic requirement of etiquette. No matter how beautiful the dress is, no matter how luxurious the clothes are, if they are unkempt and smelly, they will inevitably destroy a person's external image.
Therefore, everyone should develop good hygiene habits, such as sleeping, getting up, washing face, washing feet, brushing your teeth at breakfast and dinner, washing your hair frequently, taking a bath frequently, and paying attention to personal hygiene such as neat appearance, changing clothes frequently and washing your hands frequently.
Don't clean your personal hygiene in front of people. For example, picking teeth, picking nostrils, digging ear wax, manicure, rubbing dirt and so on. These behaviors should be avoided by others, otherwise, it is not only unsightly, but also disrespectful to others. When talking with people, keep a certain distance, and it is best not to speak too loudly, which will splash on the population.
② Dress: Clothing reflects a person's cultural quality and aesthetic taste. Specifically, it is necessary to be natural, decent, harmonious and generous, and to abide by some established norms or principles.
Clothing should not only adapt to its own specific conditions, but also always pay attention to people's dress requirements in objective environment and occasions, that is, dress should give priority to time, place and purpose, and work hard in all aspects of dress.
2, speech etiquette
As an art, speech is also an important part of personal etiquette.
Politeness: sincerity and kindness; The sound size should be appropriate, and the tone should be peaceful and calm; Respect others.
Language: honorific words, words expressing respect and courtesy. Such as "please", "thank you" and "sorry" in daily use, and the word "you" in the second person's address. The first meeting was "long heard"; Long time no see;
Please criticize it as "teaching"; Trouble others call it "disturbing"; Seeking convenience is "borrowing light"; The client acts as "please" and so on. Try to get into the habit of using honorifics. At present, the polite expressions advocated in our country are ten words: "hello", "please", "thank you", "sorry" and "goodbye". These ten words embody the basic language form of speaking civilization.
3. Etiquette and manners
① Conversation posture: Conversation posture often reflects a person's character, cultivation and civilized quality. Therefore, when talking, the two sides should first look at each other and listen to each other. They should not look around, read books and newspapers, look tired and yawn, otherwise they will give people the impression of being absent-minded and arrogant.
2 Standing posture: Standing is the most basic posture of people and a kind of static beauty. When standing, the body should be perpendicular to the ground, the center of gravity should be placed on the palms of the two front feet, chest out, abdomen in, jaw in, head up and shoulders relaxed.
Arms naturally droop or cross in front of the body, eyes straight and smiling. Don't bend your neck, waist and legs when standing. In some formal occasions, it is not advisable to put your hands in your trouser pockets or cross your chest, let alone make some small moves unconsciously. This will not only appear stiff, give people a feeling of lack of self-confidence, but also lose the dignity of etiquette.
③ Sitting posture: Sitting posture is also a static shape. A dignified and elegant sitting posture will give people an elegant, steady and natural aesthetic feeling. The correct sitting posture should be: straight back and relaxed shoulders. Women should put their knees together or tilt their knees together;
Male knees can be separated, but not too big, generally not more than shoulder width. Put your hands naturally on your knees or on the armrests of your chair. On formal occasions, you should be gentle when you sit down, dignified and steady when you get up, and you can't rattle tables and chairs and create an embarrassing atmosphere. No matter what sitting posture, the upper body should be kept straight, as the ancients said, "sitting like a clock." If you insist on this, no matter how you change your posture, it will be beautiful and natural.
Second, meet etiquette
1, shake hands
Shaking hands is an important way to exchange ideas, feelings and friendship. When shaking hands with others, look at them with a smile, don't be absent-minded, look around, and don't shake hands with others with a hat and gloves. Under normal circumstances, the handshake time should not exceed 3 seconds, and you must stand and shake hands to show respect and courtesy to others.
Shake hands also pays attention to a certain order: generally, it pays attention to the "honour person decides", that is, after the lady, the elder, the married person and the person with high status reach out, the man, the younger generation, the unmarried person and the person with low status can reach out and respond. If a person wants to shake hands with many people, the polite order is: first superior, then subordinate, first elder, then junior, first host, then guest.
2, bow and scrape
Bowing, which means bending down to salute, is a polite way to respect others. When bowing, you must stand at attention, take off your hat, salute, or say something nice while bowing. Look at each other before bowing to show sincerity of respect.
Step 3 pay tribute
Greeting is a silent greeting etiquette, which is often used by people you know to say hello on various occasions. In social situations, people often wave, bow and take off their hats to show friendliness.
Third, * * * etiquette.
1 cinema
The audience should be seated as soon as possible. If your seat is in the middle, you should politely signal to the person sitting and ask him to let you pass. When you pass the seat, you should face that person directly, and don't let your hips face others. This is very impolite. Pay attention to dress neatly, even if it is hot, don't expose your chest and abdomen. Don't talk loudly, laugh and make noise in the theater, don't turn your mobile phone into vibration, and don't treat the theater as a snack bar. After the performance, the audience should leave in an orderly way and don't push and shove.
2. Library reading room
Libraries and reading rooms are public learning places.
① Pay attention to neatness and obey the rules. T-shirts and slippers are not allowed in. When sitting, don't leave a seat for others. When consulting the catalog card, don't turn it over or tear it off, and don't scribble on it with a pen.
② Keep quiet and sanitary. It's impolite to walk lightly, don't talk loudly, and don't eat food with sound or shells.
(3) Books, chairs, benches, etc. in libraries and reading rooms belong to public property, so we should also take care of them, and don't arbitrarily depict or destroy them.
3. Ride etiquette
① Cycling: Strictly obey the traffic rules. Do not run a red light, ride a bike without an umbrella, chase or run a tortuous race, or ride a bike with people. When the old, the weak, the sick and the disabled are slow to move, they should understand and take the initiative to be polite.
② By train or ship: In the waiting room and waiting room, keep quiet and don't make any noise. Line up in turn when you get on the bus. Don't push or collide. Don't spit everywhere, throw scraps of paper and let children urinate everywhere in the carriage and on the boat.
③ Take the bus: When the bus arrives at the station, it should queue up in turn to take good care of women, children, the elderly and the sick and disabled. Don't grab a seat after getting on the bus, and don't put anything on the seat to occupy it for others. Passengers who are old, weak, sick, pregnant or holding a baby should take the initiative to give up their seats.
4. Sightseeing
① Sightseeing: All tourists should take good care of the public property in the tourist area. Public buildings, facilities, cultural relics and historic sites, even flowers and trees, cannot be destroyed at will; Don't scribble, scribble or carve on columns, walls, monuments and other buildings; No spitting, urinating, no environmental pollution; Don't throw peels, scraps of paper and sundries.
② Hotel Accommodation: Passengers staying in any hotel should not make any noise in the room, so as not to affect other guests. Be polite to the waiters and thank them for their service.
(3) Dining in a restaurant: Respect the work of the waiter and be modest and courteous to the waiter. When the waiter is too busy, wait patiently and don't knock on the table, bowl or shout. For the waiter's mistakes in work, we should put forward them in good faith, not cynicism.
What are the four aspects of civilized etiquette? 3 1. Etiquette education covers all aspects of social life. From the content point of view, there are appearance, behavior, expression, action, language, clothing, speech, treating people and so on. From the object, there are etiquette, public etiquette, hospitality etiquette, table etiquette, gift etiquette, civilized communication and so on.
The code of conduct in the process of interpersonal communication is called etiquette, and the performance of etiquette in speech action is called politeness. To strengthen moral practice, we should pay attention to etiquette, so that people can communicate with each other on the principle of "respecting others, self-discipline, moderation and sincerity" and bid farewell to uncivilized words and deeds.
2. Etiquette, etiquette and politeness are rich and varied, but each has its own regularity. Its basic etiquette principles are: first, the principle of respecting people; Second, the principle of self-discipline, that is, self-denial, prudence, initiative, voluntariness and courtesy in the process of communication.
Self-control, self-reflection, self-demand, self-restraint, self-restraint, not arrogance; The third is the principle of moderation, moderation and control; Fourth, the principle of sincerity, treat people sincerely, treat people sincerely, don't take part in accidental amusement, and behave differently.
3, civilized language: 1, hello! 2. Please sit down! 3. I'm sorry ... 4. Please wait a moment! 5. Excuse me! 6. Please forgive me! 7. I'm sorry! 8, it doesn't matter! 9. You're welcome! 10, thank you! 1 1, please rest assured! 12. Sorry to have kept you waiting. 13 Go ahead! 14, I will try my best to help you. Serving you is what I should do. 16, please feel free to ask if you don't understand. Thank you very much for your cooperation. Goodbye.
4, the world, all sentient beings, people inevitably bump into each other, sometimes even rude, a "sorry" can make the grievances disappear, on the contrary, it may also cause unexpected consequences, and even lead to human tragedy.
In interpersonal communication, learning to apologize is a very important moral accomplishment for us to be human from primary school. We should learn to say "I'm sorry" and try to be civilized teenagers. Moreover, language is a tool for communication, and civilized language is the golden key to open the soul. Whether civilized language can be used in communication reflects a person's accomplishment and affects the whole social atmosphere. The world of swearing is "black and white", and the society that speaks civilized language is "colored". Of course, there are still many polite expressions in life, so we should pay attention to the polite expressions used in various occasions.
Secondly, learning "etiquette" should be based on improving my self-esteem. Self-esteem, that is, self-respect, is a psychological state of wanting to be respected by others, not bowing to others, and not allowing others to insult and discriminate. It is the expression of people's self-awareness, guides people's actions in a specific way, and is a positive behavioral motivation. Correct self-esteem should have a humble character, not arrogance and impetuousness.
When young students learn to respect others, they also gain the respect of others. While their self-esteem is improving, their inner moral requirements are also improving. Therefore, it is particularly important to cultivate young students' noble personality and good moral qualities of self-esteem, self-love and self-discipline.
Etiquette education can be regarded as a kind of motivation and guidance, which plays an important role in the individual development of young students. Thirdly, learning "etiquette" should focus on practice. A person's manners can only be reflected in his words and deeds. If you don't talk about it, you can't say whether someone has "manners". On the basis of understanding the etiquette requirements, everyone should dare to show their civilized and polite image in daily words and deeds and in dealing with people at ordinary times.
Some students usually know to be polite, but in public or when they meet unfamiliar people, their "etiquette" norms can't be brought into play, which shows their lack of confidence. It is necessary to educate young students to build up confidence and know that while using proper manners and words, they are also shaping their good image, daring to show their polite, confident and civilized self, and making full use of various occasions and opportunities to show this.
Etiquette is also an important embodiment of campus culture. People with good manners and habits first give people a feeling of "pleasing to the eye" and can adjust the relationship between people. In school, etiquette can make the relationship between teachers and students, classmates and classmates more harmonious, harmonious and friendly, and make the campus civilized atmosphere more intense.
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