Fu Lei's Letter

"Teacher, I can't control my child, the older he gets, the more disobedient he is, I hope you will help me to teach him at school, he will only listen to you." The first thing I'd like to say is that I don't want to be a part of the conversation, but I'd like to be a part of it. But I can't help but question: shouldn't parents be the ones who know their children best?

It is well known that children's education needs to be a joint effort between home and school. As the child's first teacher, many parents do not know where to educate their children, family education is a major problem.

Two years ago, I read "Fu Lei's Letter", and I felt that it was all about how to live in the world. Now re-read, y Fu Lei teach children well, can be called a model of family education. I'm not sure if I've ever been to a place where I've had a good time, but I'm sure that I've had a good time.

One, communication, build a bridge between the heart and the heart

"Fu Lei Family Letters" is a collection of letters between Fu Lei and his son, who is studying abroad. A letter of home against ten thousand gold, every word and every sentence let the reader feel a loving father to his son's deep concern. At the same time, while thinking about it, it shows Fu Lei's family style and reproduces the family education of the Fu brothers.

In fact, this is a copy of the letter is not precisely the father and son of the Fu frequent communication? Such a frank exchange, so that the distance between father and son across the ocean continents, as if the long talk. It is also this kind of frank communication, so that the son is far away from the overseas can also listen to the father's teachings.

Perhaps you will say that in those days you could only write letters.

The first thing you need to know is that you can't just write a letter to your father, but you can also write a letter to him.

But this is not the case.

This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in the world for a long time, and I've never seen one. My mom and dad often ask: "Your brother called back yet?" I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this, but I'm going to be able to get out of this, and I'm going to be able to get out of this. But my parents always said, "If he doesn't call, he must be busy with his studies, so don't bother him." The first thing I'd like to do is to get the best out of the situation!

I don't think my family is the only one, many families have this lack of communication problem. The first thing I'd like to say is that I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to do it. In the long run, the parents don't know what's going on in their children's heads. So, there is a "teacher, my child is now more and more disobedient, I really can't do anything about him."

Most Chinese people are introverted and conservative, and don't show their emotions easily, "Father's love is like a mountain", and fathers are so deep in their children. But I think the mountain is into stability, not silence. People need to interact with each other to communicate, and this is also the case between relatives.

Second, parents set an example

We want our children to become what kind of person, first of all, we should first let themselves become such a person.

At the end of October 1955, Fu Lei wrote to Fu Cong in a letter to the family wrote: "Mom in order to take care of Lunlun's disease, on the street to buy food to buy food, go up and down the stairs to manage such and such a pipe, busy, but the heart is very happy. Not having a daughter is the same as having a daughter. Lunlun's love and understanding of us is several times better than that of her real parents, and isn't that the greatest reward we can receive? The only way a person can receive the greatest unexpected reward is to give without asking for it."

Altruism is the greatest self-interest. In order to plant the seed of sincere altruism in his son's heart, Fu Lei is not talking about a bunch of axioms, but with his own and his wife's daily life behavior to tell their children, this is not a good example of the power? This is not the most convincing? This is not the most can let the child proud of it?

In addition to this, there are many other places in the book that show that Fu Lei, as a father, teaches his son by example. For example, in order to let his son, who is far away from home, not to forget the traditional classics and remind him to read Chinese literature, Fu Lei not only sends a lot of classic books, but also often talks about literature with his son in his letters. In order to let his son realize the shortcomings of too easy to trust others, he still reminds his children with his own "do not trust people's words, wait until I tell you what to say, there must be quite a basis ......"< /p>

Every time I read such a place, in addition to the wise father full of admiration, more sigh: raising children is actually first of all a test of their own practice. Looking back at the complaining parents I met, most of them said: "It is because they are busy at work, neglecting to discipline ......" and even listened to the children in the class said: "My mom and dad play cards every day, they only know how to play, why should I I'm not going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it. When you hear these words from the children, I think the parents must be mixed feelings in their hearts.

So, the best way to do this is to give your child the best example. Otherwise, the empty mouth to say reason, the child to listen to more will really hate us nagging.

Third, cultivate children's optimism

February 7, 1967, Fu Lei wrote to his son, Fu Cong, "There is no bitterness, there is no contradiction, there will be no progress, there is a contradiction will force you to solve the contradiction, to solve the contradiction that is to move forward one step. To the later years of the contradiction is reduced, that is, life will be the end of the performance."

Read here, I once again for Fu Lei's optimism, open-minded. I am a pessimistic person, every time I encounter a problem, I am thinking of the worst end. Whenever I encountered a challenge, I thought that I would not be able to do it. This kind of mentality is something I see time and again with the students in my class. So, when I cheer for them every time, I always have a kind of "stand and talk" feeling, completely lack of confidence.

Such a me, in fact, and childhood experience related. What I remember most is that my parents said, "Study hard and get good grades!" "How to test so poorly?" Encouraging words I really can not remember, so it brewed me such a pessimistic mentality. The first thing that we need to do is to get rid of all the problems that we have, and then we need to get rid of them.

The previous generation was limited by culture, there is no excuse. What about us now, do we want our children to live under such a shadow?

No, we have to grow up with our children ****, with them to face all kinds of bad things, understand that "what goes around comes around, what goes around comes around". As Fu Lei said: "We are not afraid of often bitter, often contradictory, but we must not let this bitter and contradictory impede our happy mood."

As a teacher, I really feel the importance of family education to school education; as a mother who is about to become a mother, I feel that it is more important to raise children.

The first thing I learned was that it is not easy to understand what is going on in the world, but what is going on in the world. The power of knowledge is realized through continuous practice, turning knowledge into action. We are growing with our children on the road of education.