Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Traditional festivals - What is the concept of marriage?
What is the concept of marriage?
What is the concept of marriage? Everyone wants to be perfect. Everything is dynamic, and the concept of marriage has both positive and negative aspects. Only with a correct view of love and marriage can it last for a long time. Next, I will share with you what is the concept of marriage.
What is the concept of marriage? 1 The concept of marriage is the basic understanding and attitude towards marriage. Is one of the components of the outlook on life. The correct view of marriage emphasizes that marriage must be based on love and adhere to the principle of mutual willingness. Marxism holds that a marriage with love is a moral marriage. Therefore, the two sides should have a deep understanding, have the same ideological foundation, respect each other, and be congenial to each other in order to become husband and wife and form a family. Those forced marriages out of the pursuit of money, family status and power or arranged by parents are contrary to the socialist concept of marriage.
A person has the right to choose to live with the person he likes. Once the existing marriage is found wrong, he/she has the right to make a second choice. In their view, it is cruel to force two people who don't love each other to live together. China's traditional view of marriage generally says that we should get along well for a hundred years and grow old together. They are concerned about the whole life, so they are very cautious. They tend to think further and think more carefully. However, China people always keep their parents at heart. They always ask their parents' opinions and sincerely look forward to their blessings. But in real life, because of such and such problems, there are quite a few cracks and even deconstructions in the family.
In China, the gender of a happy family is:
childlike innocence
Many people in China don't understand that some middle-aged and elderly people like dancing, singing and dancing, and even condemn them as "mental illness". These people ignore that childlike innocence can add a lot of interest to life. In fact, only childlike innocence, youth can stay, and love can last forever, so it's best to keep more innocence and simplicity, more hobbies, more curiosity and more games. No matter middle-aged or elderly people, although they are "gentlemen" outside, they can go home as soon as they close the door, preferably older children.
romantic
Many families in China pay too much attention to reality and lack romance. Maybe someone will encounter the question, "Why don't the family go for a walk after a busy day's work and housework?" Will answer "I'm tired." However, these people who say that they are "very tired" will soon set up a "square city" and even play mahjong all night. It can be seen that the key to romance lies in whether you have romantic feelings. Don't think that romance means offering flowers and dancing, and don't think that you can't be romantic without time and money. You know, romantic forms are colorful and varied.
Humorous
Many people regard jokes as glib and unreliable, and think that the conversation between husband and wife should be practical and not pay attention to the art of conversation. As we all know, speaking humor can resolve and buffer contradictions and disputes, eliminate embarrassment and estrangement, increase interest and emotion, and make a family happy.
Very intimate
Many couples regard frequent intimacy as clingy and interpret it as "not intimate in public" rather than frivolous. However, experts have found that intimacy plays a wonderful role in improving the quality of family life. People who lack hugs and kisses for a long time are prone to "skin hunger" and then emotional hunger. So it is better to have more intimate actions in family life. For example, an adult daughter still holds her father's hand; Couples hug and kiss before going out; If one party comes back late, you might as well kiss up to the other party, and so on.
lovers'prattle
Psychologists believe that spouses should say at least three emotional words to each other every day, such as "I love you" and "I like some of your advantages". But many people in China pay too much attention to details. If someone talks about "love", they will say it is shallow and disgusting. Many couples in China prefer their spouses to show their love in meticulous and considerate care. That's true, but if there is only action without love, will it give people a sense of loss of "only the main course, no seasoning"
connect
I often hear one of the couples say, "I want to talk to you!" " "So, both sides will find opportunities to pour out all their unhappiness. And many couples in China hide their opinions and unhappiness in their hearts, and don't make it clear. They also call it "good-natured and cultured". In fact, mutual locking can only lead to deepening misunderstanding. Long-term depression equals the accumulation of vicious energy. Once it breaks out, it is more destructive. From time to time, people can see some couples who get along very well. Once they quarrel, they will turn over old scores and pour out all the things about Chen Jiazi's rotten sesame seeds. As a result, the "war" escalated, contradictions intensified, and some even led to the departure of Lao Yan. The normal practice should be to strengthen communication, express opinions and unhappiness sincerely, tactfully and strategically, and always take the initiative to understand each other's ideas. Fighting is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, it is also a way of communication. Don't turn over old scores when quarreling, just don't make personal attacks.
appreciate
People often look at their children with appreciation, so they always feel that "children are their own good"; And because I often look at my spouse critically, I always think that my wife (husband) is someone else's good. For example, one party is devoted to his work, and the other party can appreciate: "He (she) is very enterprising!" You can also accuse: "I don't care about my home at all!" " This shows that judging the same thing with different eyes will lead to different conclusions. If you can count many shortcomings of your spouse without thinking, then you probably lack appreciation. If you only talk about the advantages of your spouse to your face and behind your back, then you have learned to love and you can reap love.
In short, it is not difficult to have a happy family as long as you can treat your family life with childlike innocence, romance and humor, treat your spouse with appreciation, and express your feelings (especially love) for your spouse with affection or intimacy.
What is the concept of marriage 2? What is the correct view of marriage?
1, economically independent.
A good marriage requires both men and women to be sensible. "You are responsible for beauty, and I work hard to earn money to support my family." Many girls are elated when they hear boys say this to themselves, dreaming of all kinds of happy marriage scenes. My boyfriend is so high in his heart, waiting for happiness at his fingertips, thinking that he loves me, and I don't have to consider anything after marriage. In fact, the girls' sweet promises will be happy for a while, so don't expect too much. You must have your own financial resources.
"Big house, small dog", with the development of economy, the improvement of women's independent consciousness, the increase of job opportunities and the improvement of their ability, women of marriageable age also have different views on marriage. They are not in a hurry to get married, but want to live a free life for three to five years. Some women in their thirties and forties are still enjoying their personal lives. Financial independence can satisfy people in many ways, and the demand for marriage will gradually shift.
Many married women, even with their children at home, do various jobs such as WeChat business, Taobao and manual work. They are not yellow-faced women who only do laundry and cook with their children in traditional marriages, but new women who combine their children with their work very well. People often complain that their circle of friends and space are dominated by friends and relatives of young mothers. They feel helpless and admire young mothers. These women don't want to rely directly on their husbands, just like canaries, trapped in the cage of marriage. A certain degree of economic independence can make them live with more dignity. These days are spent in the hands of my husband, and the time is not long. After all, married life is shared by two people, which makes no sense.
2. Independent and equal communication.
Everyone is his own in the end, and no one is destined to succumb to others. Even in marriage, we should stick to our own personality and dignity and grasp the degree. An independent view of marriage requires everyone to have their own judgment and choice, and not to listen to other people's suggestions. What suits you is the best, and the opinions of others are for reference only, otherwise you will be very tired. You may not imagine that a girl has been accepting blind date activities arranged by her parents since the third grade. Until now, five years later, this girl is still getting farther and farther on the blind date road. Her circle of friends is full of complaints about blind date and inner anguish.
Why deceive yourself? If you have confidence and connotation, and choose your partner independently, instead of wandering around like duckweed and having your own roots, how can you be so bitter? Even after entering the marriage and family, they still pay attention to their own hearts, insist on what they should insist on, maintain their autonomy, and the dialogue between husband and wife is dull.
3. Participate in various social activities.
What people fear most is being absent-minded. The new era is an era in which technology and network information are developed and ideological sparks collide. We should establish an open and pluralistic view of marriage and love, and never regard marriage as an island, an island, or a besieged city and be ignorant. Only by stepping into social life can we keep a sensitive heart and be full of passion and hope for life. With this premise, if we don't give up work, study and communication, our marriage life will be constantly updated and innovated.
Of course, some people may not have such a view of marriage, which leads to problems in marriage. However, don't worry too much about the marriage crisis. You might as well calm down and read the article I edited before: "How to save a marriage, practical strategies for marriage repair are here", which may help you.
What is the concept of marriage? 1. What is a correct love marriage?
1, what is the correct view of love?
A correct view of love-based on the current law, the mainstream moral orientation.
1. 1, love should be serious and single-minded.
Love is the love relationship between a man and a woman. This relationship contains its own unique feelings and obligations. It can only exist between two lovers, and no third party is allowed to intervene. Besides, love is no joke. Both sides should treat each other sincerely, treat themselves realistically and treat each other realistically. Countless facts have proved that you will not be happy if you cheat love by cheating. In addition, once the two sides have established a love relationship, they must be loyal and single-minded; You can't change your mind. It is immoral for anyone to engage in love triangle and multi-angle love.
1.2, correctly handle the relationship between love and school and career.
Love is beautiful, it is an important part of life, but not the whole of life, it should be subordinate to the cause and promote the development of the cause. Only when a person succeeds in his studies and career will the flower of love bloom more brilliantly and fragrant. Therefore, put your studies and career first, put the relationship between love and study and career well, and don't spend all your precious time in love, thus relaxing your studies and career. Love without study and career is like sowing seeds in the desert. Without solid foundation and soil, it will wither sooner or later. Only by combining love with study and career can love have strong and lasting vitality.
1.3, advocating like-minded love
In love, the first thing should be the same thoughts, the same beliefs and pursuits, and the first criteria for choosing a spouse should be a beautiful mind, noble sentiments and a harmonious mentality. Shakespeare once said: Love is not sweet talk in the shade, sweet talk in the peach blossom garden, gentle tears or stubborn compulsion, but spiritual communication based on the same foundation. Therefore, the most important conditions in the choice of lovers should be like-minded, with roughly the same ideological and moral character, career ideal and life interest. The lofty love between Marx and Yan Ni is based on like-mindedness, and because of this, their love has withstood the test of hardships, and it has been passed down as a much-told story. The concept of love should be an organic combination of ideal, morality, obligation, career and sex.
1.4, understand that love is a kind of responsibility and dedication.
Love is not just getting, but more importantly, it is a kind of responsibility and giving. In social life, people have two responsibilities: one is personal responsibility to society; The second is the personal responsibility to family, parents, children, friends and lovers. The second aspect of responsibility belongs to the nature of private life, which is the weakest area of life with social intervention, and is mainly maintained by good moral cultivation and conscious sense of responsibility. Because of this, it embodies a person's personality charm. Once you enter the kingdom of love, you must have a strong sense of responsibility and dedication to work in order to get lofty love.
1.5, more understanding, trust and tolerance, mutual respect.
In the process of love, there should be more understanding, trust and tolerance, mutual respect and progress. Love is the unity of mutual love. Both parties who love each other have their own independent personality and spiritual world, and they can neither completely rely on each other nor demand complete possession of each other. Love, like being a man, understanding, trust, honesty and tolerance are all very valuable qualities. Love often means giving. We should get to know each other, respect each other and give to each other. "There is no perfect person in the world", two people together is not a simple combination, we must accommodate each other; If you love, you should accept everything, including your shortcomings.
2. What is the correct view of marriage?
People are eager to have a happy marriage, because marriage is the only sign of forming a new family. Marriage comes from love, not the grave of love. Because married couples are like-minded close friends, have a deep emotional foundation, agree on many things, and finally get married based on the same life goal and spend the rest of their lives together.
Many people say, "it's a relationship between husband and wife." True happiness is not a touching story, nor a magnificent swan song. True happiness is actually very simple, that is, two people feel sorry for each other, walk through the ups and downs of life together, and never give up until they are old.
As the saying goes, "everyone has a love of beauty." I believe it is difficult for a man who is not sick to have a beautiful young woman sitting beside him. Of course, the premise is that you can't let young and beautiful women sit around. This is the key. Even if you have an affair, don't give up the responsibility of loving your wife. This is the most important thing.
Women often say: "Men have no good things." "Whoever marries will be fooled." Even so, women rarely have husbands, knowing whether it is a trap or a fire pit, and women still like to jump in. The key is to respect your choice before marriage as a man. Once you sign a contract, you must keep your word and never go back on your word. Therefore, the correct view is that husband and wife are like father and daughter, mother and son, brother and sister, even closer than blood relationship. Now that you are married, you shouldn't stand here and look at that mountain, chop and change. Always think that the wife is someone else's good, and trying to seek extramarital affairs, or even divorce and remarry, will lose a husband's responsibility, even the minimum conscience.
Second, how to establish a correct view of marriage and love
1, abide by love ethics.
When college students fall in love, the main contents of observing love morality are mutual respect for love freedom, mutual loyalty and correct and civilized behavior. Behave in a civilized manner, be measured, not follow one's inclinations, and ignore social morality.
2. Correctly handle the relationship between love and career.
College students correctly understand, treat and handle the relationship between love and career, mainly in how to correctly understand, treat and handle the relationship between love and classmates, correctly handle the relationship between love and collective activities, social work, and correctly handle the relationship between love and the unity of other classmates. College students with heavy responsibilities should handle the relationship between love and study, cherish youth, grasp youth and make youth better and more active.
3. Treat love setbacks correctly.
Shakespeare said, "Love is sweet pain. Sincere love is not always smooth sailing. " Love is a beautiful thing in life, but it is common to encounter setbacks in love. On the issue of lovelorn, the correct attitude is lovelorn without losing morality, lovelorn without losing manners, lovelorn without losing ambition.
4. Love is beautiful.
It has taught us a lot about life. As a contemporary college student, we should establish a good concept of love and correctly handle the problem of love. At the same time, when we encounter difficulties in love, we should also use powerful methods that can reflect the quality of college students and be an upright college student in love.
Third, how can we achieve marriage and love?
At the beginning of marriage, most of us have a beautiful vision of growing old with our children, but it is very difficult to realize it, and there are many obstacles to overcome or eliminate in marriage. Have you learned to run a marriage? It is not easy to keep a beautiful marriage fresh! Marriage and love are more difficult!
In marriage, especially when you just get married, it often happens that both husband and wife or one of them still hasn't adapted to the same life, still manages their own life as one person, takes care of themselves, and is not ready to accept each other's family and friends.
While maintaining their unique personality, husband and wife should really leave room for each other's private space, but this does not mean indifference to each other, especially bad temper and bad personality. If you use these eight love rules again, you will be separated from each other's relatives and friends. You should regard them as your relatives and friends. You want the other person to take care of your relatives and friends, and the other person has the same demand. Treating them equally can solve many possible conflicts.
In family life, we should learn to coordinate with each other, don't fight alone, distribute money according to the facts, don't be the "central spokesman" of one party, and don't care too much about the contribution to family income. Just remember that "family income is ultimately used for family expenses", especially in some families where women earn more than men, it is likely that women will feel "uneconomical" and men will feel "very inferior". Don't care too much about personal gains and losses in marriage. Only in this way can your marriage be fresh and have a love marriage.
In addition, both husband and wife should be absolutely loyal and responsible. When you meet friends of the opposite sex, you should take the initiative to avoid suspicion, not to be ambiguous and derailed. Once suspicion is formed, even if the other party forgives it temporarily, it is not conducive to the long-term happiness of marriage.
Fourth, how to deal with the contradiction between husband and wife in emotional marriage?
1, daily contradictions, we must grasp a "degree"
It is normal for couples to be red-faced, quarreling or arguing. There is no need to make a fuss or go online. You know, it is possible for couples to enhance their understanding through friction, and it is also possible to enhance their feelings. Contradiction is actually an emotional marriage. Of course, quarreling is not good after all. If you can't completely avoid the contradiction or quarrel between husband and wife, you must control the "degree", enough is enough, and don't push your luck. There will never be real right and wrong between husband and wife, and there will never be absolute right and wrong. Try to recall the warmth of the past together.
Busy, couples often neglect to do one thing, that is, often recall their romance and warmth, so couples become more and more numb and have no passion. Maybe you have forgotten what romance is and what warmth is. After blushing, after quarreling, you might as well find a suitable time, or go to the place where you have been in love intentionally or unintentionally, and relive the old feelings together to evoke good times and warm memories. Think about the love and warmth you once wanted, and then think about today's noise and indifference, how ridiculous it is.
2. Don't forget the past and praise each other sincerely.
Praise is the best lubricant to solve any contradiction, it can dissolve the cold ice and numbness, it can revive the spirit of criticism and hatred, and praise between husband and wife is especially indispensable. Of course, praise is difficult, especially when there are contradictions and quarrels. How can I praise each other? Of course not, obviously not just after the quarrel. But when you calm down, think about it. Do you really want to fight your lover with the pillow? Should the family become a cold hell on earth? Try to put down the so-called face and praise each other more, which can greatly reduce the probability of conflicts between husband and wife, and even if conflicts have occurred, they can be quickly resolved. At least, they will not let contradictions get out of control, destroy the basic structure of marriage, and even endanger the foundation of marriage.
Remember to give each other a hug often.
It is not enough for lovers to rekindle their passion just by mouth. Try a deep hug. Maybe you haven't hugged for a long time. A hug can settle any feud between husband and wife. At the moment of hug, it is not only each other's bodies that are warm, but also the cooled hearts. Hugging is concession, tolerance, love, affection and a new starting point for rekindling passion. Come on, give me a big hug. Why can * * *, but forget to hug?
Don't forget to care more about each other's relatives.
No matter where we go, whether we are married or not, there will always be the softest place in our deepest heart, that is, parents and relatives. When a husband and wife quarrel, please don't hurt each other's parents and relatives, because that touches his or her softest point. On the other hand, when there are conflicts between husband and wife and marriage is in crisis, we might as well pay more attention to each other's parents and relatives and be kind to each other's parents and relatives from the heart. Sometimes, being kind to each other between parents and relatives can get each other's hearts and touch each other's hearts more than being kind to each other.
5. Let children become the lubricant of husband-wife relationship.
Sometimes, after a quarrel between husband and wife, in order to save face, no one is willing to give in first, and the family atmosphere becomes cold. Obviously, children are innocent "victims" caught in the middle, and at the same time, children are also one of the "means" that can be used to repair the contradiction between husband and wife. Children are husband and wife. Do you have the heart to let him live in a disharmonious and unfriendly family environment? Children are the crystallization of husband and wife's love, which will definitely arouse your husband and wife's tenderness? When you have a conflict, think more about your children after the quarrel, so that your anger can be eliminated quickly and the conflict in your can be resolved as soon as possible.
6. Learn to communicate
In addition, the most important thing is that couples should learn how to save their feelings and rekindle their passion after conflicts or quarrels. They should not accumulate minor troubles into major diseases, otherwise minor quarrels may push their marriage to the brink of death.
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