When China people educate their children, why do parents let their children be punished for their mistakes?

I once attended a lecture by psychologist Li Meijin. She said, what is the difference between a kindergarten teacher changing a child's diaper and a mother changing a child's diaper?

Mother changed the baby's diaper, her hands were busy cleaning up, and she kept saying, Why do you think you pull so much? You are really good, crying so loudly. It's changed now. Are you comfortable? ? After changing diapers, the mother will pat the child's little ass, kiss the child's little face and play with the child intimately for a while.

Kindergarten teachers or nannies may be skilled at changing diapers for children, but they won't say so much. They quickly changed the baby's diaper and went to other jobs.

These two kinds of children will be very different when they grow up. The child taken care of by his mother is lively and confident. If you ask him to say hello to a stranger, he is likely to shout with joy. Hello, auntie! ?

Because children have love in their hearts and light in their eyes.

If you ask a child taken care of by a nanny or kindergarten teacher to greet others, he may bow his head and say nothing. Because, since he was a child, in the environment of language shortage, the development of language expression ability has also been restricted.

Material life is also well taken care of. Why do children have these differences?

This is the difference between children's early psychological education.

Li Meijin said that many children's problems when they grow up can be traced back to their childhood. A person's early family education is related to his life growth.

In other words, children's problems actually reflect parents' problems. If there is something wrong with family education, children will go in the wrong direction. Parents correct their own problems, only children are useless.

There are four major family education in China? Pain point? I hope you're not among them.

First, spoil children.

Some parents love their children and don't want them to do anything or go against their wishes. Children have absolute freedom at home.

However, as long as people live in this world, they need the ability to survive. No parents can take care of their children all their lives. However, some doting parents deprive their children of the opportunity to exercise.

When children grow up and leave their parents' lives, they find that they can't cook and wash clothes, and their basic life is very difficult. Poor living ability makes some children feel inferior, and some even affect their academic development.

Spoiling not only reduces children's abilities, but also weakens their sense of rules. The child has been at home since childhood, and he can do whatever he wants, and his family is obedient to him.

But teachers, classmates and people around him will not spoil him like their parents. So there is a saying,? Your parents spoil you, but society doesn't? .

There are many famous examples in which parents spoil their children and their children are finally punished by law and society. For example, Li Tianyi, the son of the famous singer Li Shuangjiang, is the best example.

We love children to help them strengthen themselves and teach them to live a good life outside the family, instead of trying to do everything for them and hold them in our arms forever.

2. Let children be left-behind children.

The term left-behind children is believed to be familiar to everyone. Many parents say that going out to earn money is to let their children live a good life. However, this is very cruel to children.

Parents are the strongest backing and armor for children. Children who are separated from their parents prematurely will feel inferior and lonely when they see their peers living with their parents.

Many left-behind children will have some psychological problems to some extent. So some people say, no matter how difficult it is, please take the children with you. This is the most basic responsibility of parents.

Parents punish their children cruelly.

When I was a child, my little friend Xiaojun was a child that everyone hated because he always liked to bully other children. Fighting, being called parents by the teacher and being beaten at home is simply his daily life.

Xiaojun's parents always educate him with slaps and rattan, and he treats people around him in the same way. I heard that he got married two years ago, because couples always quarrel and divorce, and life seems to be not very good.

Parents always punish their children rudely, which will make their children's personality go to extremes. One possibility is that he treats others in the same way, and the other possibility is that the child becomes timid.

Many traditional parents think that filial sons are born under sticks, and beating them is for the good of their children. Actually, this is not right. Teach children not to do it without doing it.

4. Dad's disappearance.

Widowed? Parenting is a popular word in the past two years, and it is the spoken language of many mothers. Men work to earn money, while women take care of their families and children.

Not only for women, but also for the growth of children, it is really inseparable from the participation of fathers. A father is a symbol of security and courage in children's hearts. Children who grow up with their fathers are more confident, sunny and adventurous.

Boys need to learn from their father's resolute character and learn to take responsibility. Fatherly love can fill girls' hearts and make them form a correct view of marriage and love.

Parents are the cause, children are the result. If there is anything wrong with our children, as parents, we need to examine ourselves first. I hope you read more books, be an excellent parent and raise excellent children.