Comic One-on-One Lines

This is something I worked hard all afternoon typing to the video ....

Two men come up, bow, someone on stage shouts yes, B bows again to the one who shouted yes

A: This figure catches your eye. Ah, up come some people who are happy to see him, and the hooters.

B: Yeah.

A: Know why?

B: Hey hey hey hey ........., where do I know?

A: Because you're not out, your stomach is out first.

B: I'm a little fatter.

A: Yes, you can't blame him for being so fat.

B: Ah.

A: It's in the family.

B: Yeah.

A: Alas, his daughter-in-law is fat.

B: Hey, is there such a hereditary?

A: Alas, no, no, not, is your father fat, inherited to you. Then you married a daughter-in-law, also fat.

B: Hey, you have to say it clearly.

A: Right. You, ho, this, you you, you don't move, you smile. This face this folds much ah, ah, from a distance with a soup dumpling shot face.

B: Not so serious.

A: face folds more benefits, he was not afraid of mosquitoes in the summer, hey ~ ~ ~, a mosquito fell on him here, aigoo, people do not need to hand shoot,

B: How do I solve ah?

A: make a strong smile, haha, squeezed to death ......

B: you you, you say this is too exaggerated.

A: so fat, surely from childhood by parents filling duck feeding, is to pour.

B: No, I'm not, I'm fat in the way of your which root of the great meridian pain?

B: No, I'm not. I'm just fat, fat, fat!

A: Today you here exhaust exceeded the standard ah.

B: Not you ..........

A: what quality, what attitude ah, typical lack of tutoring. You, you, you early to find me you early tutor.

B: Who are you?

A: I am the tutor!

B: What tutor ah?

A: Home teaching, one-on-one tutoring.

B: Oh, a tutor?

A: You should know me, right?

B: Where do I know you?

A: Hey ~~~~~ one-on-one tutor! You have not received a text message from me on your cell phone? I've never noticed my messages on the Internet? I've never seen my flyers in the neighborhood? You haven't seen my picture in the ladies' room?

B: Why are they all posted in the women's restroom?

A: The mom is usually the one who worries about finding a tutor for her child. My photo of the strike silk, hey, handsome.

B: Wait a minute, Strikeforce?

A: English ah. Describe the posture of the good-looking modeling.

B: That's called pose.

A: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, pose, there is a moral ah, this, this, this.

(A pose)

B: What does it mean?

A: It means one on one. This is me, and this is me teaching that kid.

B: Oh, that that. What does that mean when you pucker up at the back?

A: You ask that?

B: anon ....

A: orientation training ~~~~

B: also ....... Such an orientation training ah?

A: Hey ....

B: rushed you posted the place also no one to find you.

A: You can find me ah, tomorrow I went to your home to give you instruction counseling.

B: What kind of counseling?

A: Voice and dance, painting and rubbing, cooking and pedicure.

B: Can these two things be taught together?

A: Of course, I focus on the primary school orientation training, hahahaha, you are not the primary school?

B: Huh? My education is a large degree.

A: Da Sheng Junior?

B: Da ....... College are graduated still promote junior high school ah?

A: I charge cheap.

B: You pay for nothing and no one will use you.

A: Who said that? I run four children a day, are too busy hey.

B: Can there be so many parents looking for you?

A: Of course there are. Nowadays, parents are looking forward to their sons and daughters. Other families are looking for tutors, if you don't, you'll fall behind, so parents are afraid.

B: What are you afraid of?

A: I'm afraid of the children, fell under the starting gun.

B: To the child shot?

A: No, no, no, there is a saying how to describe it?

B: Do not let the child lose at the starting line?

A: Yes, see you've memorized it, you agree, don't you?

B: I don't agree! I don't agree! How much pressure does this broken starting line put on a child? To me, life is like a long-distance run, not a sprint, not a 100-meter sprint, not Liu Xiang hurdles! Do you understand?

A: I see, you mean Liu Xiang also want to find a tutor?

B: I said in vain. The saying don't let your child lose at the starting line is wrong!

A: I point to this sentence to live ah. Parents' wish for their children to be successful is my capital to get rich!

B: I think it is the capital of cheating money.

A: You remember, there is a need, there is a market!

B: I'm not talking to you.

A: Humph.

B: Can you teach all that you just said?

A: I mainly teach beginners.

B: How elementary?

A: It's when the parents yell at me, "Get out!" before the lesson is finished.

B: Hey, that's a blast.

A: Hey, hey, hey, he's kidding me. I'll be back tomorrow.

B: I'll be back tomorrow.

B: Hey, hey, you can be really broad-minded na.

A: That's right.

B: You must have taught me wrong!

A: Ask your child which sentence I taught him wrong.

B: What did you teach?

A: I just entered the door, this child came to me and said: "Teacher, I have been several days, several days without a good night's sleep, today you explain to me to explain the Analects of Confucius. Ah ~~~~~"

B: This child is sleepy as hell.

A: His mom came over: "Teacher, don't pay attention to him, the language test a second and still want to sleep? You quickly give him a lecture on the Analects of Confucius, uh, ah~~~"

B: Parents can't stay up either.

A: I heard the Analects of Confucius, uh, ah ah ~~~~

B: snorting contagious it is not. The Analects of Confucius, do you know?

A: Hey, taught to teach.

B: What?

A: Uh, no, not teach can be?

A: Uh, no, can you teach me if you don't?

B: Oh, which part of the Analects do you teach?

A: Of course, we are looking for a paragraph that we all know well.

B: Oh, the first sentence?

A: Zi day ........

B: Yes, oh yo .... That reads Zi Ri

A: Ah, yes, yes, sometimes it reads Ri.

B: It just reads said!

A: Ah, listen to you listen to you.

B: What do you mean listen to me.

A: Zi said, when there are, five, know, and learn.

B: Ho. This effort.

A: thirty and four, ten not confused.

B: Thirty and forty!

A: Ah, yes yes yes, just these two paragraphs. It's still not the same as the later fifty and sixty yet. Right?

B: Right, right, right.

A: seventy I can not remember, you do not worry, I think. Seven, seventy, seventy key is the back, seventy of the back, seventy of the back is what? Hey? What is the tail of seventy?

B: Leo?

A: Yes, the prelude to August you are Leo ~ ~ ~

B: What nonsense, that should be, the son said, when there are five to learn, thirty and standing, forty not confused, fifty know the fate of heaven, sixty ears, seventy re the transport!

A: Right! That's the paragraph!

B: How did you explain it to the child?

A: Good explanation. That Analects is what Kong (kòng) Zi said, so .........

B: Kong (kòng) Zi ah? Confucius!

A: What?

B: Confucius!

A: The word is polyphonic.

B: It's pronounced Kong!

A: Confucius, his old man, in ancient times, ran such a private kitchen, aigoo, the flavor .......

B: That is called private school hall!

A: Uh, yes, yes, private school hall, Confucius is the old tutor then.

B: It's not called that.

A: Those are the words it charges.

B: Hey? This is Confucius talking about the philosophy of standing up for oneself in the world, there is no such thing as money.

A: The first sentence there is ah. The first sentence says that if you pay fifteen dollars, you can come to school with me.

B: Huh? What about thirty and to school?

A: Aigoo, Confucius had a big class with many students and few seats. Pay thirty dollars can only stand outside the room to listen to the thirty and stand!

B: That listen to understand?

A: Who let you try to save money? You give forty to sit inside and listen to not have doubts?

B: How do you see it?

A: Forty is not confused ah.

B: So explain ah? Fifty knows the fate of heaven.

A: What do you mean by destiny?

B: The destiny of a lifetime.

A: Give fifty and Confucius will show you his palm.

B: And with fortune-telling?

A: Of course.

B: Sixty ears.

A: Give sixty classroom allow you to talk to each other.

B: Seventy to re-run.

A: to seventy exams when you want to copy how to copy! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.

B: Never heard of it.

A: Yes, I, I worked hard a lesson to collect fifty, this Kong (kòng) Zi, ah, not

B: ah?

A: This, Confucius charge seventy, this old man enough black.

B: Who is black ah? Like you so teach ah, that parent is to blow you out.

A: Hey, how can I go out without paying?

B: You still have the face to ask for money?

A: Confucius is not powerful, you think I am a grandson. Ho. Fifty dollars a hand immediately I left, straight to the next, I one-on-one. (Continue to pose)

B: Oh, and directed to go?

A: hey!

B: next home to teach what ah?

A: English!

B: Yes, then mon.

A: Aigoo, I just entered the door this child from the bed up, ah ah, teacher, I have a cold and fever just finished taking medicine, today, you give me a lecture on the International Phonetic Alphabet, a yawn.....

B: sick.

A: teacher, I am his father, do not mind him, do not say fever, burn a fifty-six degrees for a first place that is worth. You should teach him the International Phonetic Alphabet, Archie!

B: Why are the parents so upset?

A: As soon as I heard, the International Phonetic Alphabet, immediately open .......... Archie! Begin!

B: You're too quick with this cold.

A: I can't let consumers feel like I'm distancing myself from them.

B: How do you teach English phonetics?

A: Come on, come on, you learn from me. Oh .........

B: Oh .........

A: You, you louder.

B: Oh .........

A: And then again, louder.

B: Oh .........

A: Feel that?

B: Yes.

A: What do you feel?

B: Nausea.

A: Alas, slowly experience ah. I just taught you the open accent, now I'll teach you the nasal consonants. Ni~~~~~~

B: Ni~~~~~~~~

A: Hi~~~~~~~~

B: Hi~~~~~~~~~

A: Thi~~~~~~~~~

B: Thi~~~~~~~~~

A: OK, the last sound is complicated, pay attention to the teacher's mouth shape, yell~ ~~~~~

B: Yell ~~~~

A: No, you you, you pout a little more with this mouth.

B: Yell ~~~~~

A: A little louder.

B: Yell ~~~~~~

A: Got it all memorized?

B: All memorized!

A: Take this English from the beginning!

B: Oh Nee Hassa Yell ~~~~~ Korean ah?

A: Korean English!

B: Never heard of it!

A: Isn't it?

B: Get out of here!

A: Hey? How can I go out without paying?

B: How dare you ask for money?

A: Ingrid is not to be powerful, you think I am Kawaii ah? Hahaha. Fifty dollars a hand immediately I go, straight to the next one, I one-on-one. (Continue to pose)

B: old pouting you are not tired?

A: Hey, this is my signature pose.

B: I see you are a black tutor, you just cheat.

A: A: ah ah ah ah ah, cheat? You don't know.

B: What's wrong?

A: Teaching the children of the next family I took a lot of effort.

B: Really?

A: Since his family, got him too many tutors, it caused a mental block in this kid.

B: What kind of disorder?

A: In front of him, can not mention the word tutor, mentioning it makes me want to go to the toilet.

B: What's wrong with that?

A: I also wondered? I asked his mom in front of the kid why he couldn't mention tutoring. And then you look at the kid, hey hey ~~~~~

B: This is going to pee.

A: I am the tutor. Hey yo oh ~~~~~~ tutor what's wrong? Ouch ah huh ~~~~~

B: What did the kid's mom say?

A: Teacher you do not say these two words again, you say our children prostate will suffocate.

B: Hey, then don't learn.

A: Well, well, well, I do not say these two words, we began the lesson. Parents please recuse yourself.

B: Why?

A: Hey. We're one-on-one.

B: What are you teaching?

A: Art!

B: Can you?

A: It's been five lessons, heh heh heh.

B: So what did you teach in the first class?

A: First lesson, pencil use!

B: Hey, this. How do you teach me how to use a pencil? Kids use computers nowadays.

A: So, children, you remember, a good hand of calligraphy let the computer to ruin, a good singer let the fake singing to ruin, a good boss let the fake diploma to ruin, a good green beans let Zhang Wuben to ruin! Ah~~

B: What are you doing mentioning him?

A: Didn't you hear him? What is diabetes? It's not incurable, it's just liver fire, you drink more mung bean soup to lower the liver fire is not finished?

B: Why are you talking to a human child?

A: A 60-minute class, how can I get by without talking about this?

B: Hey ~~ second class!

A: Pencil repair and maintenance.

B: Third period.

A: Circle drawing.

B: Circle drawing?

A: Hey, drawing a circle is the basis, you tell the child to draw the circle, and then you tell him, you color that circle red is a tomato, dyed green is a watermelon, dyed yellow is a potato, potatoes on the addition of eyebrows eyes and mouth there is a big nose, and then you see.

B: This is?

A: Li Jindou.

B: This is all where and where ah? The fourth section!

A: The dialectic between art and oral cavity.

B: Section five.

A: Repair and maintenance of dentures.

B: Stop it! No, what are you teaching art to mention dentures for?

A: To buy them!

B: Ah?

A: Buy them! Now children have money in their hands, I take advantage of the parents are not in the dentures sold to him, I also count the earn a little extra money.

B: The tutor can't do that.

A: Who said that? If a doctor can sell drugs, I can sell dentures.

B: Can children buy dentures?

A: It depends on how you coax him.

B: What did you say?

A: children ah, you remember, people in this life may have a crooked heart, eccentricity, greed, but you absolutely can not have filial piety. Family has an old such as a treasure, you think about your grandparents, grandma and grandpa, mom and dad, brother and sister, due to the lack of dentures can not eat and sleep well, look at the teacher recommended you this set of dentures, white as jade, crystal clear, white in white, white in white.

B: Hey ~~~~

A: its material, not the plaster, not plastic, not tile, not the big gold plate, is a real foreign imports of porcelain, 32 no more or less, there are large and small thick and thin steel round and pointed and flat, it is incisors grooves tigers and slates canine teeth, all kinds of things!

B: Good! This word can be memorized more familiar than the Analects of Confucius!

A: Are you buying?

A: If you don't buy it, I'll let your mom find you three more tutors!

B: Ouch.

A: I'll let these three tutors tutor you at home every day like me!

B: What about the kid?

A: Teacher I wet my pants. I bought it, okay?

B: You're too bad.

A: Hey, hey, Picasso is not powerful, you think I Bifujian that?

A: I'll leave as soon as the money arrives

B: If you don't, the parents will come back and beat you up.

A: What ah. I'm in a hurry, the next child waiting for me one-on-one it (continue to pose)

B: then pouting you herniated discs, still teaching ah?

A: singing.

B: There's no end to it, is there?

A: Oh, this child I do not teach him

B: What?

A: Born a good voice, see me a call, ouch, voice that sweet ah.

B: How?

A: good teacher!

B: Decepticons ah?

A: And Optimus Prime.

B: How old is this kid?

A: Seven years old!

B: Why is his voice so thick?

A: It's a bit precocious! I told him, good boy, you can morph and go.

B: Or Transformers. This condition he still learn to sing na?

A: What do you care? What do you care? People's parents are willing to, and then again I am teaching according to the material. Don't look at this child's condition, in less than one lesson, I can turn it into a small Tengger.

B: Hey, who believes na? Hey, now I am this child, you teach me, I see how you teach according to the material.

A: Oops, baby.

B: Hey, hey.

A: You said, you're this kid now.

B: Oh, yeah. Teacher, I want to learn Tengger.

A: Well, if you want to learn Tengger, first you have to find a feeling of pain.

B: Uh, how, how does it hurt?

A: Teacher will give you an example.

B: Ah.

A: Let's say someone steps on your foot, how do you feel?

B: No feeling.

A: The kid's still a little stupid, and I have to help him. Say someone stepped on your foot a little.

B: Ouch oh ~~~~~ ouch oh, you really stepped on it.

A: Ugh, because of the pedal to teach it.

B: Hey!

A: Otherwise you can not find the feeling of pain, now there?

B: Yes.

A: Good, now sing along with your teacher, Heaven. Blue blue sky ~~~~

B: Blue blue sky ~~~~

A: Find the feeling of pain.

B: Green green lake water~~~

A: Not again.

B: Water hey ~~~~

A: There it is!

B: That's my hometown ~~~~

A: Again!

B: country hey ~~~~

A: Good Oh~~~

B: I love you my home~~~ my home, my God ~~~~~

A: What are you crying for?

B: Can you not cry when your feet are swollen? You're being misguided! You hurry up and get out!

A: This time I can't even get out, his mother pushed the door in and grabbed me by the neck collar, the child jumped up and pinched me, his father underneath the sweeping leg, then I was on the ground.

B: The..!

A: three people a piece on, up after I cried, what are you doing this? The first thing you need to do is to get rid of the people you've been working with. If you have the ability to call the boy out I'll fight with him alone. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on a new product or service. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal, but I'm sure you'll be able to get a good deal.

B: Hmm? What?

A: One on one.