How to treat PUA family?

The influence of family PUA can't be ignored, and it is also very common in families in China, and many of them have done harm to children.

In the network program "Round Table School", the famous psychologist Wu Zhihong pointed out a truth of education in China: power is an unavoidable thing for China families. The original intention of parents is to love their children, but in fact, many times they just want to vent.

Parents can discipline their children, but the purpose of education is by no means to make them obedient forever. Parents' bondage to their children is likely to develop into family-style PUA emotional manipulation, which many parents don't know. In the traditional educational thought, children must abide by family rules, be filial, obedient and sensible, and parents try their best to train their children to be the most obedient.

However, these so-called education often implement emotional control in the name of parents' teaching, which is referred to as family PUA for short.

This repressive education usually has a premise that other people's children are always superior to their own children. No matter whether the child has made progress or not, there will be a new child to compare with him every time. Parents are obsessed with their children's shortcomings, and all kinds of criticisms, especially comparisons, will make their children fall into an unconfident situation.

Extended data

True love is knowing how to let go and give up.

Looking at their children, parents often worry that he is gone, gone. The original idea of family PUA is not love and harm, but out of strong fear. Psychologist David Thomas once said: "Some parents tend to have more children, often not because of love, but out of fear of separation".

Parents' love is too heavy, which has become a shackle wrapped around their children. In the end, they not only lost themselves, but also deprived their children of the right to grow up freely. However, the real success of parents lies in helping their children become independent individuals and get rid of their children's lives. The earlier this withdrawal, the more successful the parents will be.