Humorous stories, jokes and humorous cross talk.

There is no cross talk, but there are some jokes. If you play DOTA, you will find the first joke.

When pork skyrocketed-the BM sold the pig with tears in his eyes. ......

When the chicken flies-the lich reluctantly sells the chicken: "Who will send me equipment in the future ..."

When beef skyrocketed-the old cow was surrounded by people, and he was frightened: "What are you ... what are you doing ..."

When the bear meat soared-the druid said to the baby bear, "It's time for you to be loyal to your master ..."

Baby bear is furious: "beast!" ! ! You can become a bear yourself! "

A woman took counterfeit money to buy breakfast. The stall owner was annoyed: "Elder sister, even if you give counterfeit money, at least it is printed. You actually took this money! " To say the least, forget to draw. You can draw a set of ten or five, or you can draw a set of seven! Let's make it seven dollars for seven dollars. At the very least, we have to paint it in color. Actually, we use pencils. Forget it. Black and white is good, but you can't draw it on toilet paper! The feel is so bad that even the toilet paper has to be cut together with scissors. This is torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. Ok, I'll put up with the rough edges, but you can also tear a rectangle. This triangle is too unreasonable. ..."

On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "Xiao Ming, 1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said, "I don't know." The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family."

Xiao Ming went to ask his mother, who was quarrelling with others. Xiao Ming asked, "Mom 1+ 1=?" Mom said, "Asshole!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= asshole; Xiaoming went to ask his father again. Dad is drinking beer. Xiao Ming asked, "Dad 1+ 1=?" Dad said, "Cool!" Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= cool; Xiaoming went to ask grandpa again. Grandpa is watching TV. Xiao Ming asked, "Grandpa 1+ 1=?" Grandpa said, "gangster!" "Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= gang boss; Xiaoming asked his sister who was singing the national anthem: people who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= people who don't want to be slaves; Xiaoming went to ask his sister who was singing children's songs: rabbit, open the door! Xiao Ming knows 1+ 1= bunny opens the door.

The next day, the teacher asked, "Xiaoming 1+ 1=?" Xiao Ming said, "Asshole." "Pa" teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool." The teacher said inexplicably, "Who taught you?" Ming Dow Jr.: "The boss of the gang." The teacher was startled and asked, "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" Xiaoming sings: People who don't want to be slaves. The teacher shut Xiao Ming out. Xiaoming knocked at the door and sang, Little Rabbit, please open the door. The teacher fainted!

Respondents: Enthusiastic users | 2011-3-1914: 55 | report.

Once upon a time, there was a kind of steamed bread that was as fat as a steamed bread.

One day, Maruko was crossing the road, a car flew by and steamed bread rushed to save Maruko. As a result, there is another food in the world-pizza.

Romance: Steamed bread fell in love with sausage, and they vowed never to part, so there was another food in the world-hot dogs.

Innocent article: One day, Shantou saw his brother fighting with meatballs and lettuce and went up to stop the fight. As a result, there is another food in the world-hamburger.

Strong article: Shantou feels that he is not strong enough, and insists on drinking milk, eating eggs and exercising every day. After unremitting efforts, he finally turned into a biscuit.

From small to large: when the steamed bread was small, it was-Wangzai Little Steamed Bread.

Leisure article: steamed bread goes to the public bathhouse to take a bath, and a goat goes to take a bath, so they become-mutton buns in soup.

Horror: Shantou has the habit of sleepwalking. One morning, Shantou suddenly found that the meatballs sleeping beside him were gone. He looked for it for a long time, but he couldn't find it. When washing his face, he looked in the mirror and found himself a steamed stuffed bun.

Endeavour: Shantou went abroad to study and came back as bread.

Bite one's teeth: One day, Shantou looked for a kitchen knife to fight one-on-one, and it turned out to be Daoxiao Noodles.

Unlucky article: One day, the steamed bread accidentally fell into the oil pan, and as a result, he became a fried dough stick.

Rabbits are the most interesting animals in the world.

Giraffe 1 said, "bunny, I hope you know how good a long neck is." No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. " The little white rabbit looked at him without expression. "Also, in summer, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! White rabbit, can you imagine? " The little white rabbit said slowly, "Have you vomited?"

One day, a kangaroo was driving on a country road, and suddenly he saw a white rabbit in the middle of the road. His ears and body were almost on the ground, as if listening to something ... So ... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "Little white rabbit, what are you listening to?" "A big truck passed by here half an hour ago ..." "Wow, it's amazing! .. how do you know? .. ""He is so fucking! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

An ant was walking in the forest when he suddenly met an elephant. The ant quickly got into the soil and stretched out a leg. The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing? The ant whispered to it: shh ... don't make any noise, watch me trip. ...

One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?" The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper." The wolf asked again, "What topic?" The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves." The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it. The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?" The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper." The fox asked, "What topic?" The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?" The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief. The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper. At this time, in the cave, a lion was sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal is not determined by its strength, but by who is the boss behind it.

One day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss said,"No. "The little white rabbit left. The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss said," I told you, no! " The little white rabbit is gone. On the third day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots here?" "The boss is anxious:" How many times have I told you? ! Don't! ! ! If you bother me again, I'll pull out all your teeth with tiger pliers! "The little white rabbit was afraid and ran away. On the fourth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have tiger pliers here?" "The boss said," No .. "The little white rabbit asked," Well, do you have any carrots? " The boss was really angry, took out the tiger pliers and pulled out all the teeth of the little white rabbit. On the fifth day, the white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?" "

The white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit. Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You can tell when it's dirty. That's disgusting! The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it? Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away. ...

The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar. An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes. The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true. The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true. The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again. The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again. The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches! The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...

eight

Boss of the first company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Rabbit: Not busy. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: I'm not busy because I can't work for the company more. What does the company want you to do?

Boss of the second company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Very busy. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are disorganized, you will be busy all day. What does the company want you to do?

Boss of the third company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Not bad. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are irrational, there is no "yes" or "no". What does the company want you to do?

Boss of Company 4: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Just finished. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are so inefficient, can't you check it after you finish? What does the company want from you?

Boss of Company 5: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Some of them have finished the inspection, and now they are doing something else. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are not systematic, won't you do something together? What does the company want from you?

Boss of Company 6: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: I have finished all the work and am helping others. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you don't have a plan, won't you plan what to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

Boss of Qilian: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Today's work is finished, and so is tomorrow's work. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you don't consider the whole, won't you help your colleagues solve problems? What does the company want from you?

Eight company bosses: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: I have finished today's work and tomorrow's work, and now I am helping my colleagues. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?

Jiulian boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Wait a minute, I'll think about it before I answer you. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: You are very arrogant. I keep asking you questions. Why does the company want you?

Boss of the tenth company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tu Tu: I ... I ... No, I don't know ... how to answer you. After work, the boss said to Tutu: You don't have to come tomorrow. Tutu: Why? Boss: Because you don't even know whether you are busy or not, what does the company want you to do?

Boss of 11th Company: Tutu, are you busy at work today? Tutu: Fuck you, I quit ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company won't let you go! !

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much." "I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?" Boss: "Sorry, I still don't have it." "I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?" The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "The little white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I'll take two! "" "

10 There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe, Giraffe, why did you do something to hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, threw the marijuana behind her and followed the white rabbit in the forest. Later, they met an elephant ready to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" "Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together!" The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit, so he threw the cocaine behind him and ran in the forest with the white rabbit and giraffe. Later, they met a lion who was going to kill a poisonous snake. The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why did you do something that hurt yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit. The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "why did you hit the white rabbit?" "It is so kind. It cares about our health and makes us close to nature." The lion said angrily, "This bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy."

1 1 On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home. The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home. On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit, if you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!

12 In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who could find them first. Before the first forest appeared, it was the pol.ice of America. They first spent a whole half-day meeting to make a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then sent special forces to the forest for carpet search. As a result, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away and the task failed. Then it was the turn of pol.ice in Hong Kong. They sent more than 100 people, and dozens of police cars lined up outside the forest. The leader shouted with a megaphone: "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened. Flying Tigers entered the forest to search again, and the mission failed! Finally, there are only four policemen in China. First, they played mahjong all day. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. Five minutes later, he heard the screams of animals in the forest. The policeman in China came out with a smile and a cigarette, dragging a bear black and blue behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop playing, I'm a rabbit ..."

13 The little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the wolf. He came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance. The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat." Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger. After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. This is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart. The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." "Tu Tu said," So, do you want to be fat or thin? " When the wolf heard this, his heart sank and he became happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B, and he said, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tu Tu asked, "So, do you prefer plump or slim? "The wolf was silent for 2 seconds, raised his hand and gave Tutu two big ear stickers:" Shit, I told you not to wear a hat. "

14 Three white rabbits picked a mushroom, and the two big ones asked the small ones to get some wild vegetables to eat together. The youngest said I wouldn't go, so I left, and you ate my mushrooms. The two older ones said no, so they went ~ ~ ~ Half a year passed, and the younger one hasn't come back yet. One big one said he couldn't come back, one said he would wait ~ ~ a year has passed, and the two big ones don't have to wait. I know you want to eat my mushrooms.

15 A bear is defecating in the Woods, and a rabbit is passing by. He asked the rabbit, "Has it lost its hair?" The rabbit thought for a moment and said, "Don't lose hair! The bear took a cigarette and asked, "Will it lose its hair?" The rabbit looked at the bear and said, "Don't lose your hair!" " The bear looked at the rabbit suspiciously and asked, "Really don't shed hair?" The rabbit shouted impatiently, "If you don't lose your hair, you won't lose it!"! ! ! "After his words, the bear grabbed the rabbit and said …" Sorry, I forgot my paper. "