How to keep your true colors?

Dr. James Gordon Kierkegaard said: "The problem of maintaining one's true colors is as old as human history and is a problem of all mankind." Many mental and neurotic psychological problems are often because they can't keep their true colors and pretend. Lady Edith Al-Daisy? lives in El Hill, North Carolina, and the story of her confiscation illustrates this truth.

"I have been particularly sensitive and shy since I was a child. My figure has always been fat, and my face makes me look much fatter than I really am. I have a very conservative mother who thinks that only stupid girls can show themselves through beautiful clothes. She always said to me,' It's easy to wear a coat, but narrow clothes tear easily.' My clothes are always knee-wide. I never attend any parties, and I have never had a birthday party myself. After school, I never do outdoor activities with other children, or even go to physical education class. I am very shy and feel that I am' different' from others and totally unattractive.

"When I grew up, I married a man a few years older than me, but I haven't changed. My husband has a good family and is full of confidence. They want to change my personality, but I can't. Everything they do that makes me happy only makes me flinch. I became nervous and avoided all my friends, even to the point where the doorbell rang. I know I am a loser, and I am afraid my husband will find out. So every time we appear in public, I pretend to be happy, and the result is often unavoidable. I will feel sorry for it for several days afterwards. Over time, there are more and more unhappy things, which makes me feel that it is meaningless to live any longer. I began to want to commit suicide. "

So, what changed this woman who almost committed suicide?

Mrs Allard said, "Later, my mother-in-law casually said something that changed my life. One day, my mother-in-law was talking about how she raised her child. She said,' No matter what happens, I always ask them to keep their true colors.' The phrase "be true to yourself" has been ringing in my ears. At this time, I suddenly found the source of my distress, that is, I have been trying to adapt myself to a model that is not suitable for me.

"I began to understand overnight. I started being myself. I try to study my personality, try to find out what kind of person I am, study my own advantages, study the relationship between color and clothes, and try to buy clothes according to my figure and personality. I made friends voluntarily. I joined a community organization-it was a small community at first-and they asked me to participate in activities. I was scared at first, but every time I spoke, I gained a little courage. After a while, I felt very happy, which I didn't expect. When raising my own children, I also use the painful life as a mirror to encourage them to conform to nature and' keep their true colors'. "

Angelo Pacquiao wrote 65,438+03 books and thousands of articles on early childhood education. He said, "No one is more miserable than those who want to be others-except himself."

This whimsical idea is especially popular in Hollywood. Sam wood is one of the most famous directors in Hollywood. He said that when inspiring some young actors, the biggest headache he encountered was to keep them true to themselves. They all want to be second-rate Lana Thales or third-rate clark gable. "The audience has tasted the taste," sam wood kept telling them. "They need something new now."

Sam wood worked in real estate for many years before directing business cards such as Farewell to Mr Hip and Bells in the Battlefield, so he cultivated his personality as a salesman. He believes that some rules of the business world are also fully applicable to the film industry. Imitating others completely can only accomplish nothing. "Experience tells me," sam wood said, "try not to use actors who imitate others. This is the safest. "

What is the biggest mistake job seekers often make? Luo Burnton is the personnel director of an oil company. He interviewed more than 60,000 job seekers and wrote a book called Six Ways to Find a Job. He replied, "The biggest mistake of job seekers is that they don't keep their true colors. They don't show people their true colors, they can't be honest with people, and they give you some inexplicable answers. " Employers are disgusted with this kind of legislation, because no one wants a hypocrite, just as no one wants to accept counterfeit money.

The daughter of a bus driver learned this lesson very painfully. She wants to be a singer, but unfortunately she is not good-looking-her mouth is too big and she has fangs. The first time she sang in a nightclub in New Jersey, she always tried to cover her teeth with her upper lip. She tried to look elegant, but she made herself look like a clown. At this rate, she is doomed to be abandoned by the stage.

Fortunately, a man who was present that night thought she was very talented in singing. He said bluntly to her, "I saw your performance, and I can see what you are trying to hide." Do you think your teeth are ugly? "

The girl felt embarrassed, but the man went on to say, "What about the teeth?" ? That's not a crime! Don't try to hide anything, just open your mouth and sing. The more you disagree, the more the audience loves you. Maybe your teeth that you are ashamed to talk about now may bring you wealth in the future! "

Kathy Daley accepted the man's advice and put the broken tooth behind her. Since then, she has only focused on the audience. She sang heartily and later became a top singer in movies and radio. Now, other newcomers also want to imitate her.

The famous William jameson said of those who never discovered their abilities: "The average person only developed 65,438+00% of their potential abilities. Compared with what we should do, we are only half awake; We only use a small part of our physical and mental abilities. To put it further, people often live in their own limitations. We have all kinds of resources, but we often habitually don't know how to use them. "

Each of us has this ability, so don't waste another second, but deliberately want to be someone else. You are unique in this world, never, from the beginning to now, no one is exactly like you; In the future, forever, there will never be another person just like you.

Genetics tells us that the formation of a person's ability depends on what his father's 23 chromosomes and his mother's 23 chromosomes inherit. There may be dozens to hundreds of genetic factors in each chromosome-in some cases, each genetic factor can change a person's life. Yes! The formation of human life is really a mystery that all mankind are afraid of.

Even if your parents love each other, there is only a one-third chance of giving birth to someone just like you. In other words, even if you have 3 billion brothers and sisters, they may all be completely different from you. This is not fiction, but scientific basis. Allen Shufield has a book called Heredity and You, which introduces the knowledge of genetics in detail. If you are interested, you may wish to borrow it.

Dale, a successful speaker, is probably the most qualified to talk about maintaining his true colors, because he had a painful experience and paid a considerable price. Long ago, when he went to new york from rural Missouri, he entered the American Theatre Academy, hoping to become an actor. At that time, he had an idea that he thought was very clever-a shortcut to success. He couldn't restrain his inner excitement and asked loudly: Why didn't thousands of gold diggers discover this secret?

The idea is this: he will learn how those famous actors acted in those years, learn their advantages, and then learn everyone's advantages, so that I can become a famous actor with all the advantages.

How stupid! How ridiculous! He actually wasted a lot of time imitating others. Finally, it was not until he failed that he finally realized that he had to keep his true colors and that he could not become anyone else.

After such a painful lesson, he hasn't summed up his experience yet. Later, he got hot-headed and wanted to write a book, hoping it was the best book about speech. When writing that book, he had the same stupid idea as when he was acting before. He intends to "borrow" many other authors' ideas and put them in that book, which can cover everything.

So, he bought a dozen books written by famous speakers, and spent a long time absorbing their ideas and turning them into my articles. But in the end, he found himself doing another stupid thing again. This kind of thing written by piecing together other people's ideas is too artificial and boring, and no one can keep reading. So he threw a year's hard work into the wastebasket and started over.

This time, he said to himself, "You must be yourself. No matter how many mistakes you make and how limited your abilities are, you can't become another person. "

So, instead of trying to be a synthesis of everyone else, he rolled up his sleeves and did what he should have done from the beginning-he wrote a textbook on public speaking, based entirely on his experience and observation as a speaker and a speech teacher. He finally reached the level of Walter Rory, a professor of English literature at Oxford University. He said, "I can't write a book comparable to Shakespeare, but I can write a book I wrote."

The famous Irving Berlin once gave the late george gershwin a piece of advice, "Be true to yourself", which is very classic. When Berlin and Gershwin first met, Berlin was already famous. Gershwin, on the other hand, is a young composer who just started out, earning only $35 a week. Berlin admired Gershwin's ability and asked Gershwin if he would be his secretary. His salary is about three times as much as his income at that time.

"Don't take the job," Berlin suggested. "If you accept it, you may become a second-rate Berlin, but if you stick to your true colors, you will become a first-rate Gershwin one day."

Gershwin followed this advice. Later, he gradually became one of the most important composers in America.

People like Charlie Chaplin and everyone else have learned this lesson, and most of them paid a painful price first.

When Chaplin started filming, the director asked him to imitate the famous movie stars at that time. As a result, he achieved nothing until he began to be himself.

Bob hope had a similar experience. He had been singing and dancing for many years before, and it was not until he developed his talents that he really became popular.

When mary mark Bullard first went on the radio, she tried to imitate an Irish star, but she didn't succeed. Until her true colors-a country girl from Missouri-became the most popular radio star in new york.

Jerry Ottley has always wanted to get rid of his Texan accent and dress up as a city dweller. He also advertised that he was from new york, which only caused others to laugh behind his back. Later, he began to pick up the lyre and sing country songs, which established his position as the most popular cowboy singer in the entertainment circle.

In this world, everyone is unique, and you should be grateful for it. You should try to make use of everything that nature has given you to innovate. Since ancient times, all arts have their own characteristics; You can only sing your own songs, you can only draw your own pictures, and you can only be a person created by your experience, your environment and your family. For better or worse, you should create a small garden of your own; For better or worse, you should play your own little instrument in the symphony of life.

Emerson put it well in "Confidence": "In the process of everyone's education, he will find out at some point that jealousy is ignorance and imitation is suicide. For better or worse, he must keep his true colors. Although the vast universe is full of beautiful things, he will never have a good harvest unless he cultivates the land he cultivates. All his abilities are essentially new abilities. Nobody knows what he can do or know except him. These must be explored by him. "

The late poet douglas malloch discussed this issue in another way.

If you can't be a tall pine tree on the top of the mountain,

Think of it as a shrub in the valley!

But it must be the best shrub by the stream.

If you can't be a towering tree,

Then become a cluster in the jungle!

If you can't be a bush,

Why not be a grass,

Let the road have some fun!

If you can't be a musk deer,

It's not bad to be a small fish,

But be the best fish in the lake!

We can't all be captains,

Someone has to be a sailor.

But everyone should do their job well,

Whether it's big or small,

We must finish our work!

If you can't make way, make way for a narrow road;

If you can't be the sun, be a star;

You can't judge winning or losing by size,

Just did you do your best?