What are the wedding etiquette?

Matchmaking

Feudal society, men and women are not close to each other, emphasizing that "no clouds in the sky do not rain, on the ground without a matchmaker is not a marriage". Both men and women usually have to be said by people from, in order to "harmonize Qin Jin", "tie", "through the two good". This kind of matchmaking is called "matchmaking". After the founding of New China, "matchmaking" was renamed "do introduction", do this kind of matchmaking work, commonly known as "matchmaker", elegantly known as "moon old man "

These are the most important of all, and the most important of all is the fact that they are the most important of all, and the most important of all is the fact that they are the most important of all.

Matchmaking is a skill, matchmakers should not only be familiar with the general situation of men and women and their families, and strive to door-to-door, and must do both basically accurately to the men and women and their parents to reflect each other's actual situation, but also try to hide the evils of the good, so that both sides can see the other side of the strengths of the full, and thus be happy to reach an agreement on marriage. That is to say, to be born with a "matchmaker's mouth''. Matchmakers should be diligent in running errands, and from the day they start to match men and women, they should often run between the two families of men and women to exchange information, convey each other's wishes and requirements, and prevent unforeseen changes from occurring. Generally speaking, both men and women have to entertain the matchmakers. The countryside is said to be "matchmaking hundred meals" is not an exaggeration, see the hard work of its running.

Matchmaking is an important role in old-fashioned marriage. In the men and women of the two sides of the marriage to obtain the basic same opinion, he has to guide the man to matchmaking, on behalf of both sides of the exchange of gungtai, leading the man over the gift of engagement, selecting the auspicious date of marriage, guiding the man to pick up the marriage, and co-operate with the bye to the wedding matters, until the "newcomer into the room," only to the "matchmaker thrown over the wall! The matchmaker was not thrown over the wall until the "newcomer entered the room". The matchmaker said well, both sides are satisfied, often in the future, become old friends; matchmaker said bad, both sides are not satisfied, usually blamed on the matchmaker, from now on as a passer-by.

To make a pile of matchmaking, the matchmaker can get some money, called "thank you gift". This money is usually paid by the man (if the man to the woman's home, it is paid by the woman), to the day before the wedding, together with the chicken, elbows, shoes, socks and fabrics given to the matchmaker together to the matchmaker's home. The next day, the matchmaker must go to guide the marriage, which is called "round matchmaking" or "Kai Matchmaking" or "Fat Matchmaking". The amount of money to thank the matchmaker, depending on the economic situation of the host family to decide for themselves, but no matter how much, should be sealed with red paper, known as the "red packet" or "packet seal". It is customary to write "Baofeng sign" on the red envelope.

Approval of the eight characters and push the Chinese Zodiac

The ancients were very concerned about marriage, if the male family to marry, the first to the female family to get the woman's eight characters, and then handed over to Mr. Fortune-teller projections to see with the son is not, commonly known as the "pinch my clip". If the woman's life or son's husband with the eight characters collision, the two families will not be able to form a marriage. You can also write the woman's birth date and eight characters of the post placed in front of the man's home God and ancestors on the case, divining auspicious. Within three days, if the family is safe and sound, the man and woman can become in-laws.

On the push of the Chinese Zodiac, folk have many popular rumors, compatible with: green rabbit and yellow dog ancient times, red horse and yellow sheep long life, black rat and yellow ox two prosperous, green ox and black pig happy, dragon chicken longer ...... snake pan rabbit, must be rich and so on. The incompatibility of: white horse afraid of the green cow, sheep and rats a load of pick, snake and tiger such as knife frustration, dragon and rabbit afraid of exchanges, the golden chicken afraid of the jade dog, pigs and monkeys not to the head and so on.

Matchmaking

After the matchmaker, the man often puts forward the request to see a side. This male accompanied by the matchmaker to the female family to do the first meeting of the activities, called "see the pro", also known as "matchmaking".

The date of the matchmaking is pre-determined by the matchmaker and notified to both men and women, so both sides have to be prepared. In the old days, seeing the bride was a key to the success of a marriage. Especially the male party, especially to be treated seriously. Although the gift is nothing more than cigarettes, wine and snacks and so on, and do not care about the number of how much, the value of the high and low, but must be to cast their favor, avoid touching each other's parents' taboos; dress to be generous and dignified; speech and behavior to be modest and courteous. In ancient times, when looking at the relatives, the man can only be made by the matchmaker to create an opportunity to sneak a look at the girl, but now it is different, men and women can meet and talk directly. Both sides have the opportunity to have a general understanding of each other.

China is a "state of etiquette" that emphasizes subtlety. The results of the kiss are often not directly expressed, but with a variety of hints to indicate. Many places are in the male party after the door, the female parents first pour a cup of hot tea to the young man, the young man looked at the girl felt like, they will drink the cup of tea dry; and then the girl's parents with the girl to discuss, such as agreeing to marry, stay with the male party and the matchmaker for dinner, do not agree to let the male party to leave to go home. Some parents even asked the matchmaker to bring the man to take away the gift.

In some areas, in addition to seeing the marriage, there is also the custom of ''checking on the family''. "Chai people" is actually also look at the family, is the male side by the matchmaker to the female side to see the girl, the female parents of the marriage does not take a position, and then led by the matchmaker, to go to the male side of the house to look at. Hunan Qiyang area is called "look when". Look at the time, the male parents should first offer a fragrant tea, and then talk to the female parents to understand the situation. Female parents by looking at the male family and talk to the male parents, if the marriage agreed, will drink the tea, then the male parents immediately to "in-laws", and hospitality to guests. Otherwise, the woman's parents should immediately leave, the man should not be forced to stay guests.

Over the gift

After seeing the relatives, we should carry out the formalities of engagement, commonly known as "over the gift". The first step in the "over the gift" is the matchmaker to the male birth date to the female, the female birth date to the male. Some superstitious parents, think they are responsible for their children's marriage, generally after receiving the red invitation to ask a fortune-teller to project, to see whether the two sides of the "eight characters of birth" are compatible, if not, the marriage should be reconsidered. Most modern people do not believe in this set, so even if the exchange of red post, often just a form, and some even change the form of post are exempt. After the "eight characters", the matchmaker to pick a good day, to take the man to the gift engagement. Over the gift is a major event, the general marriage initiative (both men and women) to send a gift to the other party. Gifts are generally in accordance with local customs and include meat, wine, sweets, snacks, clothing, fabrics, and even jewelry and red envelopes. The specific amount varies from place to place, usually in advance by the matchmaker with the two sides separately negotiated, can not be given by the man (or woman) how much counting how much. Of course, the man or woman parents should also try to consider for each other, and strive to be frugal, less bride price.

After the bride price, men and women can agree on a date to go to the local government to apply for a marriage license to formally establish the marriage relationship. Modern regulations require men and women to go to the hospital for a premarital examination before receiving a marriage license; there are also some areas (mainly cities) that require premarital classes. These are effective measures to safeguard eugenics and the quality of the population, and should be observed and implemented.

Setting an auspicious date

After the marriage license has been issued, the man and woman have legally established a legal relationship as husband and wife. But in China, this is only a prelude to the marriage event. According to traditional practice, the marriage of the initiative party, his parents should select the wedding auspicious day, and let the matchmaker notify the other party, ready to marry. It is called "choose auspicious" and "send days".

Choosing a good day is often a matter of asking an astrologer or a fortune-teller to choose, or you can choose your own day. It is generally believed that as long as the "six coincidences" correspond, it is a good day. After choosing the date, both sides to determine the date of marriage, you should send out wedding invitations, invite friends and relatives to attend the wedding.

The invitations are generally sent to friends and relatives by the bride or her parents. Friends and relatives received to go to the wedding banquet to see the invitation, in addition to special circumstances can only send gifts do not attend, generally have to visit the door to say goodbye. Before the congratulations, the first to prepare a good gift. The gift of light weight of the relationship between each person and the main affinity, the depth of friendship, my economic conditions. Sent to the male side of the general payment of gifts, with red paper to play "package seal".

Packages of signatures should generally be written on the words of blessing.

Gifts for women are often sent by friends and relatives on their own initiative, not waiting for invitations to arrive.

Because the size of the wedding reception is determined by the number of people who send gifts to the bride's parents.

Send the wedding

When a girl gets married, her friends and relatives give her a batch of clothes or household goods to express their congratulations, which is commonly known as "sending the wedding". After accepting the gift, the girl should give her husband's family the "pomegranate" bread, white cake, pork and other gifts to her friends and relatives as a token of appreciation.

Bridal gifts

Two days before the wedding, the man should go to the woman's home to deliver the bride price according to the agreed gifts, items and quantities. It is customary in Guangzhou to send chickens (meaning there is anger), coconuts (there are grandparents and children, and heavenly happiness), gift cakes (for the woman's relatives), and also gifts of money, indicating that the man's family is rich and will allow the woman to enjoy the blessings of being married off.

Return Gifts

The woman's family will also return gifts, including betel nut (meaning the groom).

Welcoming Eve

On the eve of the wedding, the man's house is decorated with lanterns and the bride and groom are required to take a bath and fast. In the past, the bride had to open her face (using a thin rope to remove the sweaty hairs on her face), comb her makeup, tie a high bun, and in modern times, she usually has to put on her hair and makeup. The night before the wedding, the man will find a blessed (family, parents alive, have a son) woman to make a new bed, and peanuts, jujubes, walnuts, and other good omen of good omen such as peanuts, red dates, walnuts, etc., placed in the bed; the groom to cut hair, shave the face, wear a hat, and in the hat tied a circle of red bun line, inserted two red roses, dressed in a long shirt and waistcoat. This was later changed to a uniform, but now it is mostly a suit.

Etiquette on the day of the wedding

Welcoming the bride

Welcoming the bride in the morning, the man carries six or twelve gifts, with a red sedan chair or sedan chair, colorful banners, please the band, sound the cannon and set off to the woman's home, almost to the woman's home and then sound the cannon, the woman's home also sound the cannon in response to indicate that the preparations are ready. The matchmaker gets out of the car first, followed by the rest of the people, and the groom is invited out by the youngest member of the woman's family. The matchmaker formally introduces both sides to their friends and relatives, and first introduces the man to the woman's family. The man carries the gift into the woman's home, the woman accepts and gives the red envelope, the gift will be placed in the living room, the matchmaker will jewelry, gift list and other points to the woman's parents, the woman's friends and relatives will be the gift received, and on the table of the gods to display the offerings.

Ancestral Worship

The woman's uncle lights candles and burns incense, and the woman's parents pay homage to the gods and ancestors, informing them that the marriage has been finalized, and praying for the blessing of the ancestors.

Eating dumplings

Before the bride departs for her wedding, she eats dumplings with her parents, brothers and close friends to signify her separation; the mother feeds her daughter dumplings and the bride cries.

Happiness

After the groom meets with the woman's family, he sends flowers to the bride. At this time, the bride's friends should deliberately block the groom, and go through a series of intelligence and physical fitness tests, and sing love songs if necessary, but more importantly, the rich "open the door to the market", and all the sisters are happy to open the door only after the door is opened.

Finding red shoes

When the bride gets married, the bridegroom will look for red shoes in the room where the bride is to be received, and put them on the bride, and then the bride will be carried to the sedan chair by her brother or uncle; or sit on a chair and ask people to carry the bride to the sedan chair; in some cases, the floor is covered with red felt or red cloth, and the bride will take off her old shoes and then change to the new ones when she gets into the sedan chair.

No matter how to go out, anyway, the foot does not touch the ground.

Bidding farewell

The bride should kowtow to her parents, while the groom can only bow and salute. In some places, the bride is expected to cry before she gets married.

Going out

The bride shall be escorted to the limousine by a highly blessed female elder with a bamboo plaque or a black umbrella, because the bride is of the highest status and the top of her head is not allowed to see the sunlight; on the other hand, she hopes to live a happy and fulfilling life like the female elder.

Toasting the fan

Before the bride gets on the limousine, a young boy holds a fan for the bride, who must return a red envelope in thanks.

No Goodbyes

When everyone leaves the woman's house, they must never say goodbye to her family.

Splashing water

After the bride gets into the car, the female parent splashes a bowl of water (or rice or red rice) on her daughter, representing that her daughter is already splashing water, and wishing her daughter to have food and clothes and to have her heart in the right place.

Throwing the fan

After the limousine has started, the bride should throw the fan out of the window, meaning that she will not bring her bad nature to her in-laws.

The boy will pick up the fan and return it to the woman's family, who will return a red envelope in thanks.

Firecrackers

The car leaves the woman's house and firecrackers are set off all the way to the man's house.

Walking around the auspicious road

Welcome to the wedding route is usually concerned about walking in a big circle, back to the time not to go to the road. Jinzhong Qixian area according to the location of the village, there is a "Xuanwu (North) into the Vermilion Bird (South) out; or White Tiger (West) into the Qinglong (East) out of the saying. The wedding party to bring red felt or red cloth, in addition to the bride on and off the sedan chair tread, passing through temples, wells or stone mills, stone mill, but also used to cover the sedan chair window and the bride, intended to prevent the White Tiger Star and other ghosts and monsters interfering. Road meets other people's marriage team, the two sides should be exchanged "needle and thread", that is, with the bride's female red disaster. Now meet the wedding team to give each other handkerchiefs, that is, this legacy.

Passing through the door

Passing through the door means that the bride goes out from the woman's house and then formally enters the man's house to pay her respects to her aunt and the elders of the man's family.

Touching oranges

When the limousine arrives at the man's house, a child holding two oranges will greet the bride and groom, and the bride will touch the oranges gently, and then present a red envelope in thanks.

Holding the bride

When the bride gets off the bus, the bride will be held by an elder of the man's party who is blessed with a bamboo plaque on the bride's head and help the bride to enter the hall.

To avoid stepping on the threshold

To step over the threshold.

Crossing the fire bowl and stepping on the tiles

After the bride enters the hall, she has to cross the fire bowl and step on the broken tiles.

Toasting Tea

The elders of the man's family introduce the bride to the people of the family and the bride changes her name.

Worshipping Heaven and Earth

The new couple worships the bride and groom by scattering grains and cereals on them, to worship Heaven and Earth and the High Hall, and the husband and wife worship each other, and then go into the bridal chamber. Newlyweds taboo phases of the people to avoid, the door of the new room, but also put a fire pit, with firewood to make a fire, but also a bowl of water, said the water and fire. The bride to enter the door to the door open lock pinch.

The bride is seated, the groom will soon light the "lamp". The so-called "long life lamp", is to add oil in the lamp lit on high in the cave, the whole night, only self-extinguishing, can not be blown out, to symbolize "long life and wealth".

Cross-cup wine

In the new room, the bride and groom to drink "cross-cup wine". Teacups ear with a red string connected, the groom, the bride only drink one or two sips, the rest by the young women and dolls to share, some young men also rush to drink.

Just sit on the new bed

Wedding day, no one can not sit on the new bed, the bride can not lie down, to avoid year-round illness in bed. In addition, after the bed to the night before the wedding, to find a minor boy, and the groom to sleep in bed together.

Viewing the wedding banquet and wedding

After paying homage to the bride, the bride will take her seat in the new room and will no longer go out. The groom to go out of the new room to entertain guests. If the banquet is held in a hotel or restaurant, both husband and wife will have to go out to entertain the guests and make a toast to them.

The wedding banquet should be ranked according to the seniority of the guests, which is called "invitation", or "clear guests".

The principle of seating is to honor the lower, right, left, guests according to their age and identity, status from high to low arrangement of seats.

The chairman should be placed in the center of the hall above, please "big relatives" to sit on the right seat on the top, the groom's father or uncle to sit on the left seat on the top to accompany, the rest according to the inferiority and superiority of the eldest and youngest correspondingly seated.

In addition to the main seat in the hall, the second most honorable seat is set up in the bride's room, where the bride's mother is invited to sit at the top, accompanied by the groom's mother or aunt. The other seats are usually arranged in order of precedence, and after the seats are arranged, the master of ceremonies announces the opening of the banquet by playing music and firing cannons.

Toasting the guests

After the banquet begins and the fish is served, the bride puts on the traditional dragon and phoenix coat and toasts the guests.

The food should be the same for all the tables, except for the tables of the "male first-degree relatives" and the "female first-degree relatives", which must have a steamed elbow as a general rule. Moreover, the groom should wait at the table, pouring wine and sending hot towels to show respect.

Before the end of the wedding, the matchmaker has long escaped, so-called "escape". If he doesn't leave, the people who "wash the matchmaker" will smear his face into the bottom of the pot. After the end of the wedding, ''on the relatives" first retired to the hall to rest for a while, eat some snacks, accompanied by the male elders to say some polite words, to the handyman to remove the surface, sweep the ground, the big relatives should get up to say goodbye.

Send guests

"Send big relatives" is another lively scene, the male family of all decent people to send out the door, but also heavy rain should be fired to play music, in order to show respect. The groom and his parents should send guests to the village.

Haunting the Cave Room

China has the custom of haunting the cave room. In the past, since many couples were not well acquainted or even did not know each other before marriage, they might feel awkward psychologically when they were asked to live together on their wedding night. Caveman, no doubt through the public games to let the new couple to eliminate barriers, piercing the shy "windowpaper". Today, however, the main purpose of the bridal chamber is to express blessings to the newlyweds. Cave program are:

Take chopsticks: a pair of chopsticks in the bottle, only a very short cut, so that the bride and groom **** with the lips to take out the chopsticks, in fact, is to be performed by two people kissing.

Eating bananas: use the elastic rope to bind the banana hanging in the groom can get to the height of the leap, the groom with his mouth to pull down the banana. The bride and groom use their mouths to peel the banana and then **** with it to finish it. In order to prevent the rope from bouncing back, one does the action, the other must bite the banana, which depends on the tacit cooperation of the two.

Lighting matches: Stick a match on a red date and float it in a basin of water. A red line in the middle of a lit cigarette, the two ends were bit by the newcomer, the two people you in and out, joint efforts to use the smoke to light the matches in the basin. To hold your breath, with solid "dental work" and vision will be successful.

Clip marbles: Prepare a plate of glass marbles, let the bride and groom each compete for a chopstick, the two together will clip the marbles out. Several couples and newlyweds present can be invited to hold a competition, with the laggards performing a program.

Poetry competition: If the bride and groom are lovers of literature, then ask them to have a poetry competition. First, the groom recites a poem, and then the bride receives the poem, requiring at least one word in the sentence to be the same as the previous sentence, and so on, and so on, and those who can't get it down are judged to be the losers, and the losers perform the program.

Spreading the bed of joy

Spreading the bed of joy is a game of singing and dancing performed by the groom's sister-in-law in the bridal chamber. Sister-in-law hand tray, tray paved with red paper, red paper on the chestnuts, jujube, peanuts, cinnamon and other things. The bride sits on the bed, and the sister-in-law grabs the dried fruits and sprinkles them on the bed, singing as she does so. The people in the bridal chamber listened to the sister-in-law's singing, but also with the voice, the bridal chamber in the constant laughter, laughing and joking sound resounded for a long time.

The game of spreading the bed of joy is a folk group game in which all the people in the bridal chamber are actors and actresses, and the sister-in-law is the protagonist, while everyone else is a supporting actor. Because the protagonist has to take on the task of enlivening the atmosphere of the bridal chamber, it is a great responsibility. Therefore, this protagonist is to be carefully selected by the family of the married couple. Its degree of importance, and the choice of wedding officiant as solemn. Before the marriage, the groom's family in the same clan, neighbors in the sister-in-law generation to pick one by one. Some places pick one, some pick two.

Picked out the main character of the spreading of the bed of joy, first of all, if the children of both "auspicious people"; but also sing songs, will make up the words; furthermore, to be articulate, flexible, good at observing and adapting to circumstances. In addition, due to the long time to spread the bed, the lyrics are also long, and sometimes also according to the specific circumstances of the temporary play, so the bed spreading people to have a strong memory, can correctly use the lyrics of the things they see and the scene depicted, subject to the constraints of these conditions, screened out the sister-in-law is naturally skillful.

As sister-in-laws, they are also very proud to be taken seriously by the family of the marrying family. They will do what they can to help the groom's family regulate the atmosphere in the bridal chamber.

Back to the door

In accordance with Chinese marriage customs, three days after the wedding, the bride should return to her mother's home with the groom, also known as "back to the door". On the third day of the woman's home to send cars and horses to meet the newlyweds back to the door, which is an essential ritual.

Returning to the door, the bride and groom must walk the same way to meet the bride. The groom must not be empty-handed and must bring gifts for his parents-in-law. The types of gifts can be chosen by the newlyweds, but they must be all four, taking an even number for good luck.

The day of the return of the noon, the parents-in-law to organize a banquet to entertain the new son-in-law. On this day, the new son-in-law is the guest of honor, sitting on the seat. The female relatives will be the guests of honor. Before the banquet, the woman's sister-in-law will give the groom dumplings to eat. Sister-in-laws often joke and wrap chili peppers and straws inside the dumplings to make the groom look like a mess. Some clever grooms use their chopsticks to open a dumpling before eating it, and if there are no chili peppers, he will eat it without a fuss. Some of the groom loyal and honest, accidentally ate the dumplings with chili, a moment of pungent unbearable, snot and tears, sister-in-laws are laughing, the atmosphere is warm.

After the meal, you should accompany your parents to chat for a while, listen to their teachings, and then take your leave to go home. And they should take the initiative to invite the two old men and their siblings to their own home as guests, as well as friends, relatives and neighbors.

This custom from the son-in-law side, there is to thank the father-in-law, mother-in-law grace, pay a visit to the female relatives and friends and other meanings: from the daughter's side, it is said to be married into a family after the parents do not forget to raise the grace of the heart.