How many of the three characteristics of Chinese parents have you hit?

Parents who don't have a life of their own, parents who don't communicate well, and parents who don't know how to let go.

One, please be a parent with your own life

The first day the frog left, I missed him; the second day the frog left, I missed him, I missed him; the third day the frog left, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him, I missed him.

Behind the "raising frogs" is actually a very deep loneliness, even people without children can realize the sadness when they see it.

Real life, Chinese parents, which is not so such a state. However, always concerned about the child's father's love, mother's love seems to be very great, in fact, the parents of the child's worst influence, no better than no one's own life.

Till now, many parents never understand one thing: "I pay so much, why can't I teach good children? Why are all the great kids someone else's?"

Yes, why is the payoff so disproportionate to the payoff in educating children?

But if you think about it, parents are the originals and children are the photocopies. The reason why children have such and such problems is that we have such and such problems in our lives.

You know, what is the best education? I once read a touching quote that goes like this:

The best education is for parents to have their own life.

The greatest influence on a child is not what you instill in him, but what kind of living he can see from you.

You love life, and your child will live a poetic life. If you live in abundance, your child will strive to bloom. How much parents know about life, how much children love life.

That's the way it is, we live our own lives, give our children room to grow, and also give ourselves room to live, which is perhaps the best education.

Second, please be a parent who can communicate

In the process of raising frogs, you always want it to come back quickly, for fear that he will be exposed to the wind and rain outside the danger; you want him to go out for fear that he will not be able to show his ambition at the bottom of the well and not see the wide world. But they don't say, the heart is not mature, how do we know?

This actually exposes the most serious problem of Chinese parenting - the lack of communication, even if they live together, they are still people of two worlds.

The growth of children is a learning process. They have to learn how to establish a correct outlook on life, values, and worldview as a way to enrich and improve their cognition. In this, the parents' education plays a decisive role. Because the children themselves have not grown up enough to understand the inner meaning of some of their parents' actions, misunderstandings and rifts often occur.

Don't underestimate the psychological cracks that children leave behind as they grow up; even if they grow up to be able to understand in their reasoning, their emotions will still reject them. Good communication with your child from time to time in your daily life can effectively contribute to the psychological construction of your child's growth.

It's important to be a communicative parent, and here are four key points:

1. Think differently and keep trust in your child

Adults always like to analyze problems from their own point of view, and feel that they are right. Many parents are often frustrated because of this, in home education. In fact, when the child makes a mistake, you try to stand in the child's point of view to analyze the analysis, perhaps you will have a better way to deal with it.

2, equal dialog, affirmation of the child's self

If parents learn to put their children and themselves on an equal footing, more to listen, more to talk, really a gentle identity into the child's heart, many of the educational tragedy may not happen.

3, good agreement, freedom is not the same as indulgence

This approach is natural and efficient, not only conducive to you and your child to communicate well, but also to develop his sense of responsibility and independence.

4, good example, encourage the child to grow into a good adult

The establishment of the child's world view of life, and the relationship between parents is extremely close. So as a parent, you need to discipline your own words and behavior to give your child positive guidance.

More often than not, it's a good idea to make sure that your child admires and trusts you, so that you can solve a lot of problems. Never, ever become the kind of parent that your child avoids.

Learn to let go and give your child a chance to show off

Other people have frogs that are constantly on the prowl, bringing back souvenirs, making friends and girlfriends, studying and reading ...... And the frog that I raised, never know where it is, never know when it will come back, it seems that raising frogs and raising children are the same, are comparing ah!

It is not difficult to find that the little frog is more like a child with a highly independent consciousness of personality, you can not interfere with its actions, because it will not grow at all according to your arrangements. There is a very simple truth behind this: let go and give your child the opportunity to exert itself.

You have to give your child the opportunity to exercise his or her own personal abilities, but you also have to give him or her the discipline to be "free". Tell your child, "Okay, I'll give you freedom, but we have to honor our agreement."