Traditional Culture Encyclopedia - Traditional festivals - The difference between love and affection, marriage.
The difference between love and affection, marriage.
The difference between love and kinship, marriage, it is undeniable that people have feelings for a long time. No matter who they are, it is one thing to have feelings, and it is another to pay. Many people regard feelings as love. What's the difference between love and affection?
The difference between love and kinship, marriage 1 1. Love is an emotional impulse, and marriage is more of a responsibility.
In primitive society, there was actually no marriage. With the evolution of mankind, mankind has evolved into the era of private property. In order to protect property, there will be a marriage system. To put it bluntly, marriage is a contract between men and women.
The biggest difference between love and marriage is that love is random, a hormonal impulse and changeable mood. Maybe we all realize that in the process of love, we must have experienced an emotional shock, crying, laughing and quarreling. No matter what the reason is, we always say whatever we want. If we have bad feelings, we will break up and will not be bound by anything.
When we get married, our marriage will be different. It represents a kind of commitment and responsibility, and it is a legal relationship that both parties must abide by. It means loyalty, unlike when we are in love, it also means responsibility. Men and women are partners. They have goals and more important visions, attracting both sides to work together.
As a Japanese scholar said, even children can fall in love, and marriage is necessary for adults. Generally speaking, love is more about enjoyment, romance, and marriage with love is naturally excellent. If it is very light, mutual responsibility and wisdom will also make marriage have a strong sense of stability and a faint sense of happiness.
Second, love is illusory and marriage is real.
I still remember what the boy who proposed to his roommate in college said at that time: I will never let you be wronged or suffer. I will love you all my life and give you happiness!
Love is sometimes a beautiful result imagined by our minds. The most anticipated love must be ambiguous and budding. At that time, we can make a vow of eternal love. When we get it, we will find that love may not be as beautiful as we thought.
And we always overestimate the influence of love on us. How many people are likely to make a promise when love comes, and who is likely to keep it?
The college roommate and the boy who proposed marriage got married after graduation. At first, they were still immersed in the ocean of love. After a long time, there are more things at work and more trivial things at home, which makes the two young people unbearable. They always quarrel and their relationship becomes dignified. They are facing the torment of breaking up many times. Maybe they have forgotten those beautiful vows.
Love is our lifelong yearning, and marriage is a process that most people will experience. Do you suffer when you are in a dilemma between illusory love and real marriage? This kind of pain will bring growth. Marriage is the truest way to touch life. Whether it's rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, or dealing with the relationship between two families, marriage is an important practice for each of us.
The formation of marriage has never been a matter of one person, but a matter of two people, even a family. This is his complexity. Good marriages are all wisdom and art that need to be managed, and they need to be dominated by sensibility and rationality. He is no longer just an emotional impulse.
If you want to still have the yearning for love after marriage, you must manage it with your heart, and both sides should manage it together to maintain the independent space of love, so that all worldly things will not become chips for two people to attack each other, and warm-hearted love will remain pure.
Third, love is always unequal, and real marriage needs balance.
Lulu, the boss's sister, divorced, which was first proposed by the man, which surprised us all, because it was well known that Xiao Wang pursued Lulu at that time, and it was also the time to pick up the car with flowers and gifts every day, and it was also a trip abroad with western food and wine, which made us envious. Lulu's killer is beauty, as beautiful as a female star.
Later, the two married and gave birth to a daughter. I heard that Xiao Wang's family status is very low, just like when she was in love, Lulu is still very arrogant. Also, after a long time, even the most beautiful person, which man can stand such a long time?
Morphy once said in a dating show that love can be impulsive, and we will pay a lot without feeling tired. But such feelings often don't last, because hormonal impulses only last for a few months.
But marriage is different. Marriage is enduring, and it is wisdom under reason. There used to be a very important happiness principle in marriage, that is, each other's efforts were equal, but when one party in marriage felt that the efforts were unequal or unworthy, the balance of marriage happiness would collapse.
Marriage is different. It supports each other. If we go on, we need to put ourselves in the other's shoes. If one person keeps giving and can't get another person's response, then this relationship will often be lost.
So understand the difference between marriage and love, so that you can be confident. You must slow down before you get married, and love can experience more. After all, love is the best way for us to learn the art of love, and it is also an important way for both sexes to get intimate relations.
To put it bluntly, it is enough to fall in love, confess, kiss and be happy with each other. However, when you enter marriage, you need a mature mind to deal with the complicated situation of marriage, so that you can know fairly well, and you will not turn over at any time in marriage, but stabilize your marriage and move towards a greater distance.
The difference between love and emotion, marriage relationship 2, difference 1: love is a natural attribute, and marriage is a social attribute.
Love comes naturally, and its root is sexual attraction, which is human instinct. When you are in love, you are willing to do anything, because everything you do is to have each other.
But marriage is different. Marriage is a social attribute. Its purpose is not for itself. Its fundamental purpose is to serve the society, make the society more stable and provide a stable labor force. With marriage, there will be a family, and with a family, there will be a series of morals. For example, if everyone has no home, the probability of committing a crime will be greatly increased. But because of the family, especially the ancient system of sitting together, the probability of crime is reduced.
Although there is no system of sitting together now, there is still sitting together morally-you dare not do anything out of line, or even do anything you want, because you have to consider your family and your wife and children.
For another example, during the war years, the state encouraged early marriage and many children; When the population is too large, the state requires family planning and encourages late marriage and childbearing-these things are not personal will.
Love is for yourself; Marriage is for society. For yourself, selfishness is fine, but for society, noble qualities are needed.
Therefore, in love, the most important thing is sexual attraction, just attract each other. And marriage, the most important thing is character. If two people in a marriage don't know how to give and think for each other, then this marriage can be a ghost.
Difference 2: Love is a rebellion against tradition, while marriage is an inheritance of tradition.
Marriage has nothing to do with love. In the long history of human civilization for thousands of years, love has nothing to do with marriage at home and abroad. "Marry love" only rose in North America in 1980s, and then became popular all over the world.
As I said before, today, most people in China don't get married because of love-I said so, and many people even scold me and call me nonsense. But if you think about it carefully, for example, if a girl likes a boy and wants to marry him, it actually depends on the conditions-the last thing she marries is the conditions, not the love. If you marry for love, why should you look at the conditions? To marry love is to like this person. I don't care about anything else. He doesn't divorce, his parents object or not, and he has money or not. How many people are like this? Very little, in proportion, almost negligible.
This thing, love, came into being on a large scale in China after the May 4th Movement. It appeared to deliberately oppose the traditional' arranged marriage', but its purpose was not to get married. At that time, most love affairs were actually extramarital affairs, including almost all' love affairs' in ancient times, both at home and abroad.
Most of us are married now, and we are doing things according to rules and traditions. In order to meet the requirements of parents-that is, we are following the tradition. What is the specific meaning, purpose and plan? number
From this perspective, love and marriage are actually just contradictions.
Difference 3: Love is uncertain and marriage is fixed.
When many people fall in love, the most frequently asked question is "Do you really love me?" As long as they love each other, people worry that the other person will leave them. This uncertainty is maddening, but it is also the beauty of love.
But after marriage, people feel that they are finally guaranteed and finally have a home, so there is no need to worry and pretend. But once it is fixed, the real problem comes again.
Just like starting your own business, sometimes you earn 1000 a day, and sometimes you earn 200 a day. Unstable, insecure. You think, oh, if only a company could give me 20 thousand yuan a month and sign a lifetime contract.
When you really sign a lifetime contract, 20 thousand a month, pay in advance, and you don't want to work for a while.
What people want most is stability, but the most terrible thing is stability.
Difference 4: Love has a distance, but marriage has no distance.
Love has a distance. This distance is generally the distance in space. Two people don't live together. There is also a psychological distance, because you haven't fully confirmed that person is yours, so you dare not be presumptuous.
But after marriage, two people live together and can see everything in detail. They have no independent physical space and psychological space at all.
Being together when you are in love is like two people hugging and warming themselves in the cold wind; Being together after marriage is like two people lying together in this hot day, rubbing and heating.
Difference 5: Love is the attraction before owning, and marriage is the boredom after owning.
Just like I like books, for example, when I see a few good sentences in a book, I want to get it and have it-this is love.
But when I bought this book, I didn't even bother to read it After reading it several times, I found it was not as useful as before, and then I put it aside-this is marriage.
Therefore, Qian Zhongshu said that love is mostly unsuccessful, either because of the boredom of having a lover, or because of the sadness of not having a lover.
(So no matter who shows love, wedding photos and wedding photos in the circle of friends, I am not shocked. Before long, he will start complaining that life is boring. )
Difference 6: Love is spiritual and marriage is material.
If you only fall in love and don't get married, then normal people will not consider material things, just like high school and college love, no one cares about money or not.
The current love is very utilitarian, largely because of "eager to get married." Even the love of getting married stinks of copper, let alone getting married.
Love doesn't need to solve problems, because there is no problem. The communication between two people is basically physical and mental communication. But marriage needs to solve problems, and it is a very specific problem. Without money, patience and communication skills, everything is a problem. If it is not a problem, it must be a problem.
Difference 7: Love is imagination and marriage is reality.
Love is probably the most wonderful thing in the world in the hearts of many young people.
But in fact, love is an imagination. When we fall in love, we are essentially talking to ourselves. For example, how excited you are when the other person says "I love you" depends on how much you like him and your imagination of love. In fact, we can't really know what the other person thinks when he says "I love you", nor do we know whether what he says is true or not, let alone what he means by "love". If you don't like him, if you haven't seen any TV series or novels, you can't understand what "I love you" means at all.
Just like some people online dating, in fact, they don't know anything at all, even if they don't know what the other person looks like, they will feel deeply in love-this is their own imagination.
But marriage is different. Marriage is daily life, true and objective.
When you are in love, he will believe you only when you say you love him. But after marriage, if two people get along badly, you still dig at him, suppress him and quarrel with him. It's no use saying how much you love him-on the other hand, if he treats you badly, you can't communicate, you don't believe that he loves you, and you don't even care if he loves you.
Difference 8: Love lies to oneself, while marriage lies to others.
Like the last one, love is an imagination. You tell yourself how special that person is and how much you love him. This is self-deception. Because if one day you don't love him, you will find that he is actually very ordinary.
If a person doesn't believe in love, then he will never meet love. Believing in love is the same as believing in ghosts and gods. Not if you believe it-it's self-deception.
But marriage is different. Marriage is cheating others, and you know it very well. The most typical scenario is that, for example, the wife has to pack up and go back to her parents' house for a few days. When her husband said goodbye, she was very sad and reluctant, but as soon as his wife left, he closed the door and began to laugh.
During the period of love, you ask a person if he loves you, and he will answer you very considerate and seriously. But when you ask him if he loves you after marriage, he basically just perfunctory your "love".
Difference 9: Love is equal, and it is difficult to have equality in marriage.
As I said before, the biggest feature of love is that it is not fixed. This uncertainty shows that no one has decided who. It's like an interview when you're looking for a job. The other side is Ma Yun and Ma Hua Teng, and you are equal to them. Changing company interviews is a big deal for me.
But after marriage, it's different, because the relationship is fixed, just like if you succeed in the interview and enter the company, there will be grades. Whoever has high status and great power can speak.
The same is true in the family. Whoever has great power can speak well. On the other hand, whoever earns less, who is ugly and who is more dependent on marriage will compromise more.
Of course, this relationship between strength and weakness is dynamic. If a girl just got married, didn't earn money, and was still fat, then she might be the one who compromised more. But two years later, she was promoted, earning several times as much as the man, losing weight and becoming beautiful. At this time, will she still compromise and obey as before?
From this perspective, many men complain that their wives are strong-in fact, she is not strong, and she is really stronger than you.
Difference 10: Love develops, but marriage does not.
This one is the most difficult to solve.
People have expectations when they fall in love. This expectation is that they can completely occupy each other, which leads to the expectation of getting married and having children, growing old together and doing something together.
But after marriage, especially after having children, the relationship between husband and wife no longer has any development and expectation. I got everything I wanted and accomplished everything I wanted. Without expectations, it becomes boring. Therefore, many women have postpartum depression after giving birth, a large part of which is because her life no longer has new expectations.
The reason why many women's postpartum depression improved is very simple, that is, she started working again, began to glow with enthusiasm for life, and began to have new expectations.
No expectation, no development, is the most disturbing problem for human beings after a full meal, and that's how most people's depression comes from. You rarely hear about the depression of people who do manual labor in rural areas, because they have to work hard every day to survive, build a house, buy a car, get a wife, and work hard to send their children to college. Although bitter, it is actually quite substantial.
In big cities, many men, around the age of 48, have entered the most painful and confused stage of their lives. At that time, he will begin to enter the countdown to retirement, and his marriage is already tired. Without new expectations in life, confusion and emptiness will come. So they began to fast and recite Buddha to escape, or began to run marathons to give themselves a comfort to continue to grow.
Without the development of life, boredom and pain come. Just like watching a video, a 1 minute video, if it doesn't develop, you may not even watch it for 30 seconds. But if the story goes on, you can even watch 100 episode.
Development is the last word. Who can make his feelings and marriage develop, he can reap happiness. No one's feelings have developed. No matter how rich and beautiful they are, two people will die of boredom sooner or later if they fall in love again.
The difference between love and kinship, marriage 3 First, understand the relationship between love and marriage.
Love is beautiful, the foundation of marriage and the guarantee of marriage happiness.
Second, marriage is the sublimation of love.
The ultimate goal of marriage is happiness and responsibility. In love, the sense of responsibility is not so strong.
Third, love cannot be lacking in marriage.
There is no shortage of warmth, warm words and harmonious atmosphere in marriage.
Fourth, marriage is more of a responsibility.
A responsibility is very important. This responsibility represents a happier marriage.
Fifth, love is an uncertain state.
Love can be a way of falling in love or an uncertain state.
Sixth, marriage is more stable, and love is a supplement.
The complement of love is that marriage is more stable and can be happier in marriage.
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