Where did the traditional marriage in China originate?

As an objective phenomenon in today's society, it is understandable that the Civil Code provides legal provisions to stipulate when the bride price needs to be returned.

However, this expert only talked about the rationality and "great benefits" of the bride price in the lecture video of 18 minutes, and finally came to the conclusion that "the bride price is a symbol of the civilization of human marriage", which is really outrageous.

Are those marriages in China that change customs and don't want bride price uncivilized? Since modern times, there has been no such thing as "bride price" in most western countries, and they have all become uncivilized societies?

Civilization has regional characteristics and times characteristics. As one of the customs of ancient civilization in China, the bride price is also a "unique thing" in a "specific era", but this "specific era" is a bit long and lasted for more than two thousand years.

It is said that the custom of Chinese wedding originated in Zhou Li in the late Zhou Dynasty and lasted for more than two thousand years in feudal society. Bridal price is one of the ancient wedding customs in China, also known as betrothal price or betrothal price. "The Book of Rites" states: "Those who are confused by the ceremony will benefit both families. The upper one is the temple, and the lower one is the heir, so the gentleman is more important. It's about accepting gifts, claiming fame, Naji, collecting levies and inviting parties. The host banquets in the temple several times, but he worships outside the door, enters and obeys the temple, so it is also a matter of respect and prudence. "

In the era of small-scale peasant economy, family stability is the basis of stable rule by the ruling class. Therefore, the expression of "faint ceremony" in the Book of Rites, at least literally, is an important form of taking "faint ceremony" as a "gentleman" and attaching importance to marriage and family.

It is in this sense that CCTV experts expounded the "role of bride price":

However, CCTV experts also acknowledged a historical fact that "the bride price is the product of' buying and selling marriage'":

Then it comes to the conclusion that "the bride price has realized the historical transformation from predatory marriage to employment marriage", and then it is considered that "the bride price is the symbol of human marriage towards civilization"

Undeniably, "the historic transformation from predatory marriage to employment marriage" is indeed a historical progress, but such "progress" is very limited.

Predatory marriage not only appeared in the "ignorance" era of primitive society (people outside the clan were not regarded as human beings), but even after the beginning and development of human civilization, the phenomenon of women being plundered was equally common in national wars; "Buying and selling marriage" only exists in private ownership countries. Whether it is "predatory marriage" or "buying and selling marriage", women are "materialized"-either the object of predation or the object of buying and selling, becoming an accessory of patriarchy.

Then, is it necessary to preserve such a "specific historical stage" civilization after its historical development? In other words, it is absurd to advocate that this "product of patriarchy" is a "symbol of human civilization" when the times have developed into a modern civilized society marching towards capitalism.

Accurately speaking, the bride price developed from "buying and selling marriage" is a specific product of private ownership, and the bride price has been passed down to this day only as a result of the "inheritance" of private ownership.

In the private ownership society with class opposition and polarization between the rich and the poor, the amount of bride price often becomes a symbol of social status, and the marriage of the haves often has the nature of "economic marriage". For example, Jia Xue in A Dream of Red Mansions is closely linked by several generations of in-laws.

In such a patriarchal society where "the monarch is the minister, the father is the son and the husband is the wife", the status of women is low in both the upper ruling class and the lower ruling class. Bride gifts often have the nature of buying and selling, especially on the "bridge" where Cinderella marries Prince Charming to achieve class promotion, the nature of the transaction is often more obvious.

In ancient working people's families, when a daughter got married, she became a "non-family" and no longer assumed her parents' obligation to provide for the aged, so-called "water spilled by marrying a woman"; When the woman goes to the man's house, it is equivalent to an extra labor force. Therefore, the man should pay a certain fee to the woman's family, just like "selling his daughter"-this custom is fundamentally caused by the private ownership of the means of production in feudal society. After the Tang and Song Dynasties, with the development of productive forces and the influx of social wealth, the phenomenon of "selling daughters" became more and more common, and the bride price gradually changed from "physical" to "monetization".

During the period of the Republic of China, the wind of bride price, which reflected the feudal society that "the media were marrying", was still prevalent; In such a turbulent era when a large number of small producers went bankrupt, the poor could not afford the bride price and could not marry relatives, while the landlord class generally had "wives and concubines in groups"-this was not only a feudal evil custom, but also a manifestation of the serious widening gap between the rich and the poor in society.

In the opera "White-haired Girl", Yang Bailao worked hard all his life, but instead owed the interest debt of the landlord Huang Shiren, and was finally forced to "sell" Xi to Huang Shiren to pay his debts. In the evil old society, "selling daughters" generally existed in the families of poor working people.

Stills of the opera "White-haired Girl"

To take a step back, under the unequal social background, is such "selling daughters" a fair "buying and selling" or "plundering"?

After the May Fourth Movement, a group of advanced young intellectuals embarked on the road of anti-imperialism and anti-feudalism, and opposing "buying and selling arranged marriages" became one of the important contents.

1In the winter of 920, 19-year-old Yang Kaihui married Mao Zedong, 27. Their wedding violated the social trend at that time. In Yang Kaihui's words, "I won't be a layman!"

Oil Painting: Mao Zedong and Yang Kaihui.

No bride price, no sedan chair, no complicated and grand ceremony. This is just a new dress. In the witness of relatives and several close friends, a simple and concise wedding was held in the dormitory of Hunan First Normal University. None of the furniture in the new house is new. Mao Yang's wedding was passed down as a much-told story at that time and became a model for improving young people's learning.

However, just setting such an example is far from the lofty ideal of transforming China and the world. Unless the unequal society in which people exploit others and others oppress others is completely destroyed, the phenomenon of "selling daughters" as a product of the unequal society cannot be eliminated.

In the second year after the founding of New China, China promulgated the first marriage law, with monogamy, freedom of marriage and equality between men and women. "Bride price" is regarded as the product of "buying and selling arranged marriages", which was explicitly prohibited for the first time in thousands of years of laws at home and abroad.

However, it is useless to simply prohibit it by law. It will take a long time to completely eliminate the old traditions and customs of private ownership society.

When New China was just founded, although the bride price was regarded as a very representative social custom in feudal society and criticized by the state power (in fact, it was not too excessive), it did not suddenly disappear.

What really makes the bride price phenomenon die out further is actually the establishment of the socialist welfare security system, especially the collective pension system, after the three major socialist transformations.