What etiquette should I pay attention to when attending a Japanese funeral?

Japan is a country that attaches great importance to funeral etiquette, so traditional funeral etiquette is still very popular today.

For example, in Tokyo, funerals are usually held at home for two days. Everything is arranged by the relatives of the deceased or the people in the unit. This person must first discuss specific matters with all relatives and funeral companies who arrange funerals, and consider Buddhist precepts when choosing a date. Notify relevant personnel separately after the date is confirmed. Notify when to hold an "all-night vigil" and a "farewell ceremony". Farewell ceremonies are usually held on the second day after an all-nighter, usually at noon.

Relatives, neighbors and unit leaders should attend all-night and farewell ceremonies and wear black dresses. The average person only needs to go once on the day of the farewell ceremony.

The decoration and farewell ceremony of the whole evening are the same, but there are several levels. Which level of decoration is adopted depends on the expenses paid by the bereaved, and has nothing to do with the living conditions of the deceased.

The altar generally has three floors, with black and white photos of the dead in the middle and above, and lotus lanterns, flower baskets, flowers and fruits on both sides. The coffin is placed at the front, and the details vary according to different Buddhist sects.

The whole evening was originally just a ceremony attended by relatives and neighbors. It usually starts around 6 pm. In recent years, ordinary relatives and friends also come to burn incense at night. So that the farewell ceremony the next day could not come. No matter which day you go, most people will bring money to burn incense. Neighbors are willing to help and can pay less. The average person pays about five thousand to ten thousand yen at a time. That night and at the farewell ceremony, someone was specially responsible for collecting money and keeping accounts.

After the monk finished reading the scriptures, neighbors and relatives ate together. Some people do it twice. One is a relative and a unit leader. Once a neighbor. Others will have another meal when they come back from the crematorium. After the all-night participants left, the immediate family members stayed with the deceased in shifts all night and kept burning incense.

The next day's "farewell ceremony" was also attended by monks. Relatives sit at the altar all night, while others usually stand outside. After the farewell ceremony, the body was sent to the crematorium under the escort of relatives. According to statistics, the national average of Japanese funeral expenses is 2.08 million yen. Among them, the money paid to monks to recite scriptures is 520,000 yen, and the meal fee is 430,000 yen.

The custom of disposing of remains

The Japanese have many customary practices in dealing with the remains of the deceased. Generally, men should shave their heads and women should make up. According to the Buddha's funeral, the body should be placed with its head facing north, which is called "North Pillow". Put your hands together, cover your face with a white cloth and put a razor on your chest to ward off evil spirits. Sometimes there is a small table next to the pillow with a bowl of water on it. The rice bowl used by the deceased was full of rice and a pair of chopsticks were inserted on the table. The incense continued until the funeral. Wipe the body of the deceased during burial, and the closest survivors should put on the shroud or clothes that the deceased especially liked before his death, and put the items that the deceased loved before his death into the coffin.

Etiquette of thanks

During and after the funeral, the Japanese should express gratitude or return gifts to mourners, monks, priests and others who helped arrange the funeral. For those who come to attend the "wake", a casual banquet should be held; Those who go to the graveyard together and attend the burial ceremony should be invited to their own homes or restaurants for dinner; For drivers or crematorium staff, it is generally necessary to pack one or two thousand yen in a small paper bag with "Zhi" written on it. Give some money to other people who help, in the name of "transportation expenses" Monks should be paid according to the number of chanting and the length of time. The amount of remuneration is sometimes agreed in advance through the contact person, and then the words "royal cloth" and "royal warp material" will be presented in a paper bag. When holding a Christian funeral, you should use the church, donate money to it afterwards, give the priest extra remuneration, and write "royal gift" on the cover of the paper bag. After the funeral, send a thank-you letter to the giver and return the "thank-you money". The amount of "thank you money" is generally half of the money given by the other party or 1/3. At the same time, gifts such as bath towels, sheets, wool, white cloth, pottery, lacquerware and tea should also be sent back. In recent years, we have also expressed our gratitude by donating money to social welfare institutions rather than individuals. However, in this case, it is often necessary to send a thank-you letter, which reads "accept the wishes of the deceased and agree to contribute to social welfare".