Introduction of Chaoshan marriage custom

Chaoshan people pay attention to marriage customs. In the past, they paid more attention to "the media is recruiting". Although the customs vary from place to place, the more consistent expressions and ceremonies are: marriage proposal, engagement, hiring people, inviting guests, and welcoming relatives, commonly known as "six gifts." It is also summarized as "four rituals": writing, inviting, sending, hiring and marrying. Begging the media to propose marriage.

Proposal, marriage and engagement are the "Wen Ding" of the four rites. First, the matchmaker goes to the man's and the woman's house to propose marriage. After obtaining the consent of the woman's family, the matchmaker will go to the woman's family to ask her name, date of birth, place of origin and three generations of ancestors, and write a wedding letter and send it to the man. If nothing unlucky happens in the man's house within three days (commonly known as "three-day shun"), it will be convenient for the man to hand over his letter of appointment to the woman, and both sides can divine the marriage (commonly known as the time). Engagement, also known as betrothal, betrothal and fixed food, is a gift prepared by the man and an engagement at the woman's house. Gifts are usually a pair of gold earrings or a gold ring, as well as cakes, sweets and so on. The woman must return the gift. When engaged, the man will go to the woman's house to "eat", usually eating sweet eggs or sweet noodles (if there are four sweet eggs, only two can be eaten; If there are two, you can only eat one, and the other should be split in two with chopsticks. Both men and women should send cakes and sweet noodle soup to relatives, friends and neighbors (remember that wine, cakes and sugar used to make people happy) and report that their marriage has been decided.

Choose your own luck and arrange your dowry.

"betrothal", also known as "betrothal", is a relatively grand etiquette, and there are strict regulations on the types of marriage documents and bride price. Before the Qing Dynasty and the early Republic of China, rich people sent gold and silver colored satin, as well as pigs, sheep and wine. In addition to chicken wine, poor families also send betel nuts; Most places will also send pork, commonly known as "washing excrement meat", to show their gratitude to the woman's parents. In the 1960s and 1970s, besides gold and silver, radios (televisions), bicycles, sewing machines and watches were also given. At present, most of them are paid employment After receiving the betrothal gift from the man, the woman was rehired and given some gifts, mainly including: mandarin duck and banana (double-win banana, indicating the close relationship between husband and wife), pig liver and pig heart (indicating the harmony between liver and gallbladder) and a male and a hen (symbolizing the harmony between mandarin duck and hen). When the woman is re-employed, she should also consider the elderly in the man's class. If her mother (grandmother) is in class, give her a "mother cake"; Father-in-law is in the hall, giving "husband cake". Before sending the pig heart to the man's house, the woman's house must cut a piece, cook it with sugar and onions, and eat it with the woman; After the man's family receives the pig's heart and liver from the woman, it should also be cooked with sugar and onions and eaten with family and relatives, which means "men and women are one."

Invitation is also called "choosing a date", "sending an appointment" and "keeping an appointment". After the appointment, the man chooses the auspicious day of the wedding, including cutting the wedding dress, "holding the face" and taking a bath, determining the time and hour of the wedding and informing the woman. At this time, relatives and friends of both men and women should give gifts. The gift for the woman is called "sending pollen". In addition to preparing the dowry, the woman should also prepare special items to carry when she gets married, mainly including: First, five pairs of "sedan chair shoes", one pair in spring, summer, autumn and winter, and one pair of water shoes, indicating that the husband and wife share joys and sorrows and will go well in the future; Second, black silk and white silk are juxtaposed, which means that after marriage, you will have a son early, and the husband and wife will grow old together; The third is a bowl of dried longan with orange cake (commonly known as "in-laws' bowl"), which is used to worship "flower parents" when they are newly married, symbolizing the sweetness of life, and "Guilin is full of grandchildren"; The fourth is powder and five-color silk thread. Before marriage, the woman should use silk thread to "pull her face", which means "opening the forehead" (starting to be sensible and managing the family), and she should also "pull her face" after four months of marriage, commonly known as "pulling her job". The silk thread used in "Holding Face" should be hung on pomegranate flowers; Fifth, five-color seeds such as red shell, wine cake, mung bean, early millet, sesame and so on. , which means "the five sons are admitted to the branch", and the fortune is prosperous; Six, "Yuanyang belly bag" (also known as "purse" and "waist bag") is used to hold five-color seeds, newly cut "Yuanyang grass" (two coarse grasses) and a pair of "ruyi", which means that married couples are in pairs and are lucky. Seventh, the handkerchief is twisted with brown sugar. The bride should twist a handkerchief wrapped in brown sugar in her hand at the beginning of her wedding. When you arrive at your husband's house, before you build a well, you should pour brown sugar into the well to express the bride's wish of "closing the door and caring for others". Eight are "flower heads", fans (homophonic "send children") and so on. In the old society, wealthy families married women, in addition to dowry and the above-mentioned special items, they also married fields and even longevity boards (coffins); Now he marries an electric appliance, a motorcycle or a car.

The ceremony to marry the bride was grand.

The last ceremony is the "wedding", that is, the man goes to the woman's house to marry the bride. There are two forms of wedding reception: first, the groom comes to pick up the bride; One is to send a "lucky dog" to pick up the bride. The groom waits for relatives at home, and the bride is accompanied by a bridesmaid. There are many procedures and grand ceremonies to greet the bride. The bride should "eat five bowls of bread" at home and after her in-laws' home, and give her brothers and sisters a "penny rice" and a "sister table" before going out. Before the bride gets on the sedan chair, the family should carry a basin of clear water and sprinkle it gently on the sedan chair. Others carry a small bucket of clear water and spray the sedan chair and sedan chair with safflower (pomegranate flower) dipped in clear water. Although bicycles, motorcycles and cars are used to get married now, some people still keep this custom. Sedan chairs are usually "colored green". "Colorful green" is mainly the branches and green bamboo branches of colorful banyan trees (known as "mature trees" by hipsters) to show the blessing of "a successful husband and a virtuous wife". On the wedding day, all the doors of the man's house should be pasted with happy couplets, and a red note saying "Kirin is here" should be pasted in the middle of the lintel. When the bride arrives at the door of the man's house, the groom will "kick the sedan chair door" and "stick his wishful thinking", and the bride will "cross the line of fire". When the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber, they should get married. When the door is closed, the green mother has to "do four sentences". After the bride and groom eat two doughnuts each, they exchange round lights, and then eat two more, which is commonly known as exchanging cups for lights. At this point, "Green Mom" has to "do four sentences". "Doing four sentences" should run through the whole process of marriage. From the time the bride goes out to get on the sedan chair and enter the bridal chamber, "Green Niang" has to "do four sentences". When "making trouble in the bridal chamber", "green mother" should sing with the guests on behalf of the bride. If some naughty people make funny poems, "green mother" should immediately "make four sentences" to help the bride solve the embarrassing situation. A wedding reception will be held on the wedding day to entertain relatives and friends who come to celebrate.

In addition to the above ceremonies, on the third day of their wedding, the bride will also hold ceremonies such as "digging wells", "pounding rice heads" and "stirring rice". At the end of twelve days or four months, a ceremony of "mothering"-"going home" will be held. First, two "back measures", the bride comes back when cooking, and "three back measures" can spend the night at her parents' house. In some places, a wedding memorial ceremony will be held on the first Lantern Festival after the wedding. The bride will dress up as before, sitting in the hall or standing at the head of the village and by the well, so that relatives, friends and neighbors can see the "bride" again, and the busybodies can make another "bridal chamber". This ritual has been basically abolished now.

Wedding customs will vary from place to place. Although they gradually moved towards a new marriage after changing customs, some meaningful customs still exist.

Propose marriage

Propose, also known as propose. That is, the matchmaker proposes to the man, or the matchmaker introduces the woman to the man first, and then proposes to the woman after the man approves.

Hexagram

Traditional marriage has two links. After the two sides propose marriage, the matchmaker writes the woman's name, date of birth, place of origin and ancestors into three generations and sends them to the man. If nothing unexpected or unlucky happens in the man's house within three days, such as breaking bowls and pots, it is called "three days". With this good sign, the man agrees to exchange Geng posts. Please get married separately after changing the Geng post to make sure that both men and women are born together or contain each other. If we contain each other, the marriage will have to be ruined. Contemporary people advocate free love. Although young men and women have long got rid of the marriage custom of "parents' orders, matchmakers' words" and the old custom of exchanging Geng posts has been abandoned, many people still keep the link of "matching eight characters"

be engaged in

After choosing an auspicious day according to the eight characters, you enter the engagement stage, that is, the man prepares a gift for the woman to get engaged, which is also called "()". Gifts are generally gold and silver jewelry such as gold earrings, gold rings and gold necklaces, as well as tokens of love such as sugar and noodles. This woman deserves a gift in return. Both men and women should distribute candy and cakes to relatives and neighbors to inform them that their marriage is fixed.

Send job information

After the engagement, you have to pay the bride price. Hire, also known as rent. In the past, the bride price of rich people was gold and silver, colored satin, pigs and sheep, wine and fruit; The difference is betel nut (betel nut refers to green olive in Chaoshan dialect) and chicken wine. Chaozhou people regards olives as a symbol of good luck and is a distinctive wedding gift. Contemporary bride price includes physical objects and cash, and there must be more than four kinds of physical objects: sugar, noodles, Daji (Chaozhou orange), gold and silver jewelry, clothes and cloth, cakes and foods, etc. , but they cannot be odd numbers, but must be even numbers. Cash, also called bride price money, is divided into one, two and four, but they are all multiples. During the engagement, the woman should return the cake and food during the engagement, and give back mandarin ducks, bananas, oranges, pig hearts and so on. Yuanyang and banana are coexisting bananas, symbolizing centenary, and also meaning to make money into treasure; The orange homonym "Ji" symbolizes good luck; The pig's heart (half left in the woman's body) symbolizes concentricity. At this time, the two sides will also solemnly distribute the cakes and food in each other's gifts to relatives and friends to report good news, and relatives and friends will also return gifts to congratulate them. Giving a gift to the bride is called "sending pollen".

Choose an auspicious day

Pick another day. After the engagement ceremony, the man should choose the wedding date and tell the woman, including telling her when to cut the wedding dress, when to pull a face, when to take a shower and when to get married. Most of the time chosen by chaozhou people is in the middle of the night, and it is an ancient legacy for hipsters to keep the custom of getting married late at night. In ancient times, weddings always ended in fainting, so wedding ceremonies must be held after dusk or even late at night.