What are the problems with Chinese parenting?

parents who don't have their own lives, parents who don't communicate well, and parents who don't know how to let go.

1. Please be a parent with your own life.

On the first day of frog's departure, miss him; On the second day of frog's walk, miss him, miss him; On the third day after frog left, I miss him, miss him, or miss him, MD, why doesn't this smelly boy come back?

Behind "raising frogs" is actually a very deep loneliness, and even people without children can feel the sadness when they see it.

In real life, China's parents are not in this state. However, it seems great to care about children's fatherly love and maternal love at all times. In fact, the worst influence of parents on their children is that they have no life of their own.

Up to now, many parents still don't understand one thing: "I have given so much, why can't I teach excellent children?" Why are excellent children from other people's homes? "

Yes, why is it that in educating children, the pay is so out of proportion to the return?

But when you think about it, parents are originals and children are photocopies. The reason why children have such problems is that our lives have such problems.

Do you know what is the best education? Xiao bian once read a touching passage, which said:

The best education is that parents should have their own lives.

What has the greatest influence on a child is not what you instill in him, but what kind of living methods he can see from you.

if you love life, your children will live a poetic life. You live a full life, and your children will try to bloom. How much parents know about life, how much children love life.

That's it. We live well, give our children room to grow up and give ourselves room to live. This is probably the best education.

Second, please be a parent who can communicate

In the process of raising frogs, you always want them to come back as soon as possible, because you are worried that they will be in danger of being beaten by the wind and rain outside; You want him to go out because you are afraid that he will not be able to display his ambition and see the vast world. But they don't say, how can we know at that time when our minds are not mature?

This actually exposes the most serious problem of Chinese parenting-lack of communication. Even if we live together, we are people from two worlds.

children's growth is a process of learning. They should learn how to establish a correct outlook on life, values and world outlook, so as to enrich and improve their cognition. Among them, the education of parents plays a decisive role. Because children themselves have not grown up enough to understand the inner meaning of some parents' actions, misunderstandings and cracks often occur.

Don't underestimate the psychological cracks left by children in their growth. Even when they grow up, they can understand rationally, and their emotions will refuse. Good communication with children in daily life can effectively promote the psychological construction of children's growth.

It is very important to be a communicative parent. There are four key points here:

1. Put yourself in the other's shoes and keep trust in your children

Adults always like to analyze problems from their own perspective and feel that they are right. Many parents are often frustrated in family education because of this. In fact, when a child makes a mistake, you try to analyze it from the child's point of view, and maybe you will have a better way to deal with it.

2. Talk on an equal footing and affirm the child's self

If parents learn to put their children and themselves on an equal footing, listen more, talk more, and really enter the child's heart as a gentle person, many educational tragedies may not happen.

3. Make a good agreement. Freedom is not equal to indulgence.

This way is natural and efficient, which not only helps you communicate with your child well, but also cultivates his sense of responsibility and independence.

4. Set a good example and encourage children to grow into excellent adults

Children's world outlook and outlook on life are closely related to their parents. Therefore, parents need to restrain their words and deeds and give their children positive guidance.

Many times, many problems can be solved by making your children admire and trust you. Never become the kind of parents that children avoid.

Learn to let go and give your children a chance to display themselves.

Other people's frogs have constant adventures. One minute they bring back local products, the next they make friends, the next they make girlfriends, the next they study, and the next they read ... The frog raised by Xiaobian never knows where it is and when it will come back. It seems that raising a frog is the same as raising a baby.

It's not hard to find that the little frog is more like a child with a highly independent personality, and you can't interfere with its actions because it won't grow according to your arrangement at all. There is a very simple truth behind this: let go and give children a chance to display themselves.

You should give your child the opportunity to exercise his personal ability, and also restrict his "freedom". Say to the child, "OK, I can set you free, but we must abide by the agreement."