Jokes about writing wrong Chinese characters

In primary school Chinese class, the teacher said: Chinese characters are a broad and profound language. For example, the character for horse is very similar to horse, and the character for wood is very similar to wood...

This At this time, Xiaopang stood up: Teacher, what are those bumps and convexities?

At this time, I am evil!

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Enter a butcher The butcher said to the cow: You are awesome? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again: Do you know me? The cow shook his head.

The butcher stabbed the cow in the buttocks, and the cow jumped in pain. into the river.

The king thought the butcher's methods were rough, so the butcher asked to try again, and the king agreed. The cow was pulled to the river again.

The butcher stepped forward and said to the cow: "I know you." Do you want me? The cow nodded.

The butcher said again: Can’t you return the cow? The cow shook his head.

The butcher smiled and said, “Do you know what to do?” The cow turned around and jumped into the river< /p>

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Only eat a ton

The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown in the countryside. The husband's father called his in-laws in the city and asked: "How many people can come? So we can make preparations."

The in-laws called back and said: "Not many people can come, just prepare a ton of rice." He put "Dun" is written as "ton".

Soon I received another telegram from the countryside: "The wedding has been postponed for one month because it is difficult to get a ton of rice."

03. Dr. Qu Yuan

< p> In the history class, the teacher asked the student: "Who is Qu Yuan?"

"He is a doctor." The student replied.

"Nonsense!"

"Why are you talking nonsense? The book says he is a doctor!"

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There are "aircrafts" available

A salesman went on a business trip to Guangzhou. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to take a plane there. , because he was afraid that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "If you can take advantage of it, take it?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought that the "opportunity" to close the deal had arrived, so he immediately called back: "If you can take advantage of it, take it." "

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager refused to reimburse the air tickets because he was not senior enough and would not be reimbursed for flying. The salesman took out the manager to call back, and the manager was stunned. Stay

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Place name related

On New Year’s Day evening, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more reserved.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate introduced us to us with a smile and pointed at the reserved classmate. He said: "He is from Myanmar, so he is quite shy." Then he raised his glass to toast everyone, drank it down in one gulp, and then said: "I am from Yangon." A collection of jokes about Chinese characters 20 words

1. Where, where

Hemingway didn’t know where the Chinese were! where! It's a self-effacing word. Once when he attended a wedding, he politely praised the bride for being very beautiful. The groom beside him said on behalf of the bride: Where! where! Unexpectedly, this foreign man was shocked! So I said in blunt Chinese: The hair, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, and mouth are all beautiful! The result was a burst of laughter from the entire audience.

2. The True Story of Oppi-Dan

Director Jia said excitedly: Today the union invoice will be used to watch the movie "The True Story of Oppi-Dan".

A young man smiled: Director Jia, you read it wrong. It was "The True Story of Ah Q".

What? Did I read it wrong? I've been playing cards for decades, why don't I know the preserved man? Go away?

3. The old man lost his teeth

The brothers took their grandfather to the hospital for treatment. When my brother saw that the age on the registration form was printed incorrectly as "ling", he said to the doctor: "This character is missing a tooth."

That’s a slip of the tongue, the doctor said: Because we are an outpatient clinic for the elderly!

4. Dr. Qu Yuan

In the history class, the teacher asked the same student: Who is Qu Yuan?

Is a doctor. students answer.

Nonsense!

Why are you talking nonsense? The book says he is a doctor!

5. Other words

A salesperson in a store wrote four words on the blackboard: Now on sale.

A customer next to me said: Comrade, you wrote a different character for retail zero.

The salesperson glared at the customer and said: Come on, there is a standing knife beside the word!

6. New interpretation of Huizi

Son: Dad, how do you write the simplified Chinese character Huizi?

Father: There is a cloud under the character human.

Son: Why?

Father: When in a meeting, you just say what others say: this is just echoing what others say.

7. Why care?

Director Hu always writes wrong words, pronounces wrong words, and makes lots of jokes, but he never learns with humility.

Once, when his unit held a commendation meeting, he pronounced Feng Jianguo as Ma Jianguo, which caused a roar of laughter. He probably mispronounced something again.

The secretary reminded: There are two more points!

Director Hu wanted to correct him, but he was afraid of losing face, so he put on a straight face and said: Don't laugh, everyone, it doesn't matter if you miss a few points! We are all revolutionary comrades, why should we care about these two points?

8. Each other

Mr. Zhou took the business card handed over by Mr. Chen, looked at it and said: Mr. Dong, I have admired you for a long time, I have admired you for a long time. Mr. Chen took Mr. Zhou’s business card and said: Are you Mr. Ji? Mr. Zhou was not happy after hearing this: My surname is Zhou, why did you skin me? How did I offend you? Mr. Chen said: My surname is Chen. If you cut off my ears, you don’t want me to skin you?

9. Mandarin

Southerners often speak Mandarin reluctantly, as the saying goes, it is the so-called blue and green Mandarin.

During the Republic of China, there was a certain person who was very envious of being an official, so he put on official airs, pretended to be official, walked in official steps, and spoke official language all day long. One day at breakfast, he said to his family: "Go to my porridge box and get my green head." The family didn't understand and stared down. A was furious and shouted: You bastard! Something that doesn’t work! Don’t you know that porridge is called porridge in Mandarin, and bamboo has the same pronunciation as porridge, so isn’t a bamboo box a porridge box? In the official dialect, "tou" is called "tou", and "tou" has the same pronunciation with "bean". There is a pack of mung beans in my box, isn't it a "green head"?

10. Sir

A: Do you know, did humans come first, men or women?

B: Let’s have a man first.

A: Based on what?

B: I don’t know this. Isn’t it an ironclad proof that our men call us sir?

11. Making up for the lost situation

A certain teacher has quite new ideas in interpreting books. One day, I talked about how it is not too late to repair the dead sheep. Two sentences said: Death, death, sheep, the name of the animal, Bu, offering, Lao, Tailao. Taken together, it means: If the sheep dies, then go to offer sacrifices to Tailao. It's not too late. This means that people do not need to kill live sheep for sacrifice.

12 Talent Recruitment

Manager: Our company is recruiting talents, and talented people must sign up.

No. 1 (Part 1)

Manager: What is your name?

No. 1: My name is Snake Glasses.

Manager: I think it sounds better to call you cobra. What kind of word is that?

No. 1; a door with a dog inside. Of course it is a door!

Manager: Go, go, go, you local leopard!

On the 2nd

Manager: What’s your name!

No. 2: I call Wang Dachui, and I will hit whoever you ask me to!

Manager: What is this word?

No. 2: A door. There is a dog in the door, so of course it is a dog!

Manager: Go, go, go, a bunch of useless things.

On the 3rd

Manager: What’s your name?

No. 3: Who am I?

Manager: Well, what a unique name. What kind of word is it?

No. 3: This is called illiteracy. As long as I don’t know the words, it is called illiteracy.

Manager: Oh my god, genius. Where is the address?

No. 3: Psychiatric Bed No. 12!

Manager: President, I found a genius who lives in bed 12 of the mental hospital! Oh my god! Mentally ill prisoner.

13 A man and a woman were sleeping

One day, a chemistry class was being held. A classmate was dozing off during class. Unexpectedly, he was discovered by the chemistry teacher. The teacher said in a loud voice: We are dozing off today. The knowledge is so important, and there is actually a man and woman sleeping together. The whole class was agitated, but in fact they were quite far apart

14. Learning English

Xiao Ming, who likes to learn English, is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he accidentally bumped into a foreigner while walking. He said embarrassedly: "I am sorry."

"I am sorry, too." the foreigner replied.

"I am sorry three." Xiao Ming replied immediately.

"What are you sorry for?" the foreigner asked.

"I am sorry five" Xiao Ming said.

15. Eat standing

A foreign girl married to China. During breakfast, she was told that she could not eat fried dough sticks: You eat it with dip.