The elder in the family passed away. What food should be prepared for tribute?

Discuss marriage

In the old society, marriage in Zhangzhou attached great importance to matchmakers. "Although there is a world contract, there is no matchmaker to conclude." It is generally believed that a marriage is a formal and legal marriage only through a matchmaker. Even if both sides are world communicators, they should pretend to be matchmakers. After the job is done, the man will give the matchmaker a thank-you gift, usually pig's trotters, noodles, candy, cakes, red envelopes, etc., which is called "matchmaker gift".

Exploring family style is also called "letting go of family style" and "stepping on family style". Before formally asking for relatives, both men and women should try to understand each other's family situation, especially the woman is more cautious about it. In advance, they should invite their relatives to visit the man's house to learn about the personal and financial situation of other family members. Generally speaking, they don't ask directly when they explore the family situation, but infer by observing the living conditions, meals and living habits at home.

Seeking the old custom of Zhangzhou, the matchmaker said that the two sides were interested in getting married, and the man's family was going to ask Geng Tie to use red wrapped silver coins as a gift to let the matchmaker go to the woman's house for marriage. If the bride agrees to propose marriage, she will accept gifts, such as melons and fruits, which is called "classic words", and write down her birthday on red paper (white paper in Hakka), that is, her daughter to be married, as an invitation to the matchmaker for marriage, and hand it over to the man. Some also pay attention to the number of words in Geng posts, emphasizing the need to "synthesize the old", preferably twelve words.

After receiving the woman's memorial tablet, the married man put it on the ancestor's case and put it under the incense burner for three days. In the meantime, if something goes wrong, it will be considered "inappropriate" and the woman's wedding invitation will be returned. If people and animals are safe, there is no quarrel, illness, or plate breaking, it can be said that it is "three yen" or "three days good" after three days. Please ask the fortune teller to "get married" and judge whether it is suitable for marriage according to the date of birth of both men and women. There is a taboo that the difference between men and women is six years old. People think that those who are six years old, such as Meridian and Ugliness, are "positive" and should not be combined. In the old society, when a daughter was born, if the birthday was not perfect, the parents asked the fortune teller to forge a good "eight-character" with a prosperous husband, a prosperous family and a rich treasury. Therefore, as the saying goes, "a man's life is not false, and a woman's life is not true."

If the two sides cooperate in numerology, the man will give him Geng Tie at another time, and prepare gift cakes, candy, dolphin shoulders, silverware and so on for the woman. The man's Geng sticker generally says "do a certain day, a certain month, a certain time". The giver of Geng's invitation is usually the man's uncle, who will pick a red-painted bamboo basket containing gift cakes and red envelopes. When I arrived at the bride's house, I went straight to the hall from the gate, put the red basket on the altar, and informed the bride's ancestors that someone had proposed to her descendants. After the woman's parents offered sacrifices to their ancestors, they invited the fortune teller to get married. The woman's family also rewarded them with golden beads.

After the blind date, both parties prepare gifts, and the matchmaker accompanies grandma, mother, aunt and other female elders to each other's home for blind date. The girl in the boudoir must personally receive the man's guests and offer them tea. The man's elders observe the woman's appearance and appearance on the spot, paying special attention to the woman's palm to see if there is a "broken palm" (there are thick lines on the palm). Broken palm is considered as widowed, and whether the palm is soft and tender will be observed to judge whether it is rich or not.

Both parties are satisfied with each other and can decide to get married. Parents of both parties agree on the bride price, dowry and dowry thickness, and roughly determine the wedding date. I prefer to set the wedding date from the Year of the Loong to the Year of the Tiger. The seventh month of the lunar calendar is a ghost month, so the wedding date will not be set in this month, and no wedding can be held on the first day of the first month. When the ages of both men and women add up to exactly 50 years old, they will not get married for the time being.

After the two parties reach an agreement, the woman will issue a gift list.

To be engaged/engaged (to [somebody])

Conventions include the following conventions:

Food is also called "overdetermined", "engaged", "determined", "determined" or "delivered".

According to the old custom in Zhangzhou, male and female elders (usually mothers) are accompanied by matchmakers, and on the selected auspicious day, the "fixed post" (that is, the gift book with the word "gift" or "all" on the cover, also known as "dragon post") and the agreed gifts are sent to the woman's home as fixed employment. Ancient scholars would try to get geese as gifts. If there are no live geese, they will carve two geese out of wood instead. Ordinary people's gifts are incense sticks, firecrackers, lead foil, cloth, rock sugar, noodles, orange cakes, betel nuts, leaves, lotus seeds, pork, gift cakes, peanut candy, tobacco and alcohol, and ring jewelry, which often form twelve colors. When you leave, you should set off firecrackers.

When the man's wedding comes, he should greet his wife with cannon and entertain his guests with rock sugar tea and sugar glutinous rice porridge. The woman to be married should be brought to the hall by a "good fortune" female elder who can live and die. Guests should give red envelopes as "tea pressing" gifts when they accept sweet tea. Finally, the woman to be married, accompanied by the matchmaker, sat in the hall with her feet on a small stool. The man's elders put the ring on the finger of the woman to be married, and the matchmaker "sings good words": "Sitting up straight will hurt people." Some male elders will also string red silk thread around the neck of the woman to be married with copper coins, indicating that this woman is already a man's family. The woman's family will also sacrifice the gifts given by the man in front of their ancestors, tell them and pray for their blessing.

When the man's guests leave, the woman should return some of the gifts (except the engagement fee) sent by the man, a "fixed post" (also known as "phoenix post"), and a towel (two connected face towels), oranges, pomegranate flowers, peanuts (meaning good luck and a hundred children) and so on. And made up six or twelve gifts.

The two sides will also conclude a "marriage certificate" to announce their engagement and marriage to each other. Marriage books are divided into "dry books" and "Kun books". After the two companies exchanged wedding invitations and marriage documents, they were commensurate with their in-laws. On holidays, the man will send gifts to his wife's house, mostly pork, noodles, cloth, zongzi, moon cakes and cakes.

On that day, both parties often entertain relatives and friends, which is called "betrothal wine". People who go to the banquet generally don't need to give gifts. Afterwards, both men and women should give cakes, candy and other gifts to relatives and friends, indicating that the marriage has been confirmed. When the woman's relatives and friends accept it, if the gift cake is complete, they must send money as a "makeup" gift when the woman gets married; If the cake has been cut, then there is no need to give gifts.

In the past, engagement after "fixed food" was mandatory. If the man reneges on his engagement, he cannot ask the woman to return the bride price. After the engagement, the man dies, and the woman can choose another object, but she must return the bride price. If the woman dies before marriage, the man should still regard her as a married wife. If she marries someone else in the future, she can only be regarded as a "mistress" and the man can't recover the bride price. After the Republic of China, the binding force of engagement weakened. After the engagement, if the woman reneges on her engagement, she shall return the dowry to the man; If the man goes back on his word, he shall not claim back the bride price; If you break the contract without good reason, you will be condemned by public opinion.

Sending Dading is also called "promotion" or "employment".

The male family in Zhangzhou will send the agreed bride price to the female family on the selected auspicious day. Bride gifts emphasize pairing, including the number of people giving gifts is even, red paper should be attached to the cages and poles for choosing bride price, and male elders should go ahead.

Bride gifts include wedding documents, sacrifices, betrothal money, jewelry, cloth, dresses, gift cakes, whole pigs, wine, chickens and ducks, betel nuts, sugar, red jiaozi and other cakes. Among them, the number of gift cakes, sugar and cakes is decided by the woman to ensure enough distribution to her relatives, friends and neighbors. In addition, every household will be given a bowl of red jiaozi. In some places, when recruiting people, only wedding papers, gold and silk offerings and other things are given, and the agreed gifts such as rockhopper, red coat and red skirt are given by the man, which is called "sending coat" or "urging makeup".

When giving a gift, the man should send an invitation and list the name of the gift. When the bride price was brought, the female Yanari cannon welcomed her, paid homage to her ancestors with gifts, and received visitors according to the ceremony. This woman can't accept all the gifts. She wants to cut off the ribs and pig's feet and let the man's guests take them back. This is called "pressing the bottom of the box" or "returning the gift". The woman may also give back other gifts, such as clothes, purses, fan bags, books, pens, shoes and socks, shoes and socks of future aunts, etc. And generally add Blue Banana, pomegranate, taro and osmanthus, which means to recruit your son.

After receiving the bride price, the woman should prepare a dowry. The dowry of the rich family is called "the whole hall", including the items that the daughter uses for life. Boxes in dowry are mostly used to hold clothes and cloth, and silver dollars or money should be placed in the four corners of the box, which is called "box corner".

Dowry should generally include a toilet, a bathtub, a home lamp and various embroidered curtains. The toilet is also called "tong tong", which means that the child was born early and the outside of the tong was painted with red paint. The barrel is filled with copper coins, peanuts, red dates, longan, winter melon candy and so on. , carried by people, on the sofa side of the new house. In addition, a pair of "(cua6) chickens" must be prepared as his dowry, and the chickens should choose the rooster that just crowed and the hen that is about to lay eggs. The bride's bridesmaid mentioned the groom's house.

Sending one day at a time is also called "sending one day", "sending the sun", "sending a day card" or "sending a wedding card". The "invitation day" in Zhangzhou is an auspicious day for the man to choose the wedding ceremony. The date should be calculated according to the date of birth of both men and women, the date of birth of parents, grandparents and even brothers, and avoid the bride's menstrual period. In addition, don't get married in the year without beginning of spring Day, and don't get married in May, July and September of the lunar calendar. In the "day post", in addition to the wedding date, it is also necessary to indicate the time when the bride gets on the sedan chair and enters the door. With the consent of the woman, it is convenient for the man to formally inform her of the wedding date by writing a red post, so as to avoid conflicts when getting off the sedan chair, and then act according to the ceremony.

In addition to conventional gifts such as cakes and candy, the man also needs to buy a new rice screen, draw eight diagrams and write the word "hi" in calligraphy, and send it to the woman's house to hang behind the sedan chair to ward off evil spirits.

Make-up in Zhangzhou, after the delivery day, the woman's relatives and friends will send red envelopes or gifts to the woman's home, which is called "make-up"; Relatives and friends of the man should also send red envelopes or gifts to "add to the man's troubles". Congratulatory wedding gifts must be delivered before the wedding day, otherwise it will be unlucky and the married family will not accept it. You can't send clocks and handkerchiefs as a gift to congratulate you, so as not to be associated with farewell and wiping tears.

Gifts such as couplets and greetings from relatives and friends should be displayed in the hall according to their generations, and greetings from the groom and uncle should be hung in the center of the hall. After Jia accepts the gifts, they should register one by one so that they can have a basis for repayment in the future.

After the wedding dress is sent to Japan, both men and women have to choose a day to worship God and burn incense, and then cut the wedding dress, which is called "cutting". Besides the dress, the white underwear of the bride and groom should also be cut. The bride's wedding dress is a red coat, a red skirt and dress, and red embroidered shoes. The dress should be embroidered with a ""shape to pray for good luck, commonly known as "Wan Zi". In some places, the wedding dresses of men and women are cut by men, and then the bride's clothes are sent to the woman's house.

Holding hands is an ancient ceremony. In ancient times, women got married at the age of fifteen. Later, Zhangzhou was held on the day before marriage or the second day of junior high school. Before the bride gets married, she should choose a day to worship the gods and burn incense, and ask the elderly women with more prestige and more children in the village to "save face" for her. Twist the hair clean on the bride's face, commonly known as "opening the face." Then comb the bride's hair, recite auspicious words, add a bun and insert a pair of wishful hairpin. Finally, the bride bowed down to the god of heaven and earth and her parents and elders, indicating that she was about to become an adult.

Before the bride's dowry is delivered, the man's family should decorate the new house properly. The first thing is to pay for the bed on the auspicious day of the zodiac. The man should invite a "good man" with a full house of children and grandchildren to preside over his affairs and arrange various offerings; Put copper coins at the head of the bed, the end of the bed and the foot of the bed; After making the bed, read auspicious words and then set off firecrackers.

The bed must be placed in the direction of the beam, otherwise it will be called "lifting" and unlucky. After the bed is fixed, one or two boys belonging to dragons (followed by snakes) should be invited to climb the new bed and roll around, symbolizing that the bride gave birth to a baby, which is called "turning over the bed".

Widows and tiger girls should not participate in or watch wedding dresses, arm in arm and share the same bed. There are three sticks of incense and a pair of red candles in the hall. On the eve of the wedding, the woman's parents will invite people to bring new bedding, mirrors, cabinets and other things to the man's house to decorate the new house. Sewing bedding, hanging accounts and making beds should also be done by "lucky" women.

Before marriage, the groom can't spend the night alone in the new house. He must have one or two boys of the same age to sleep with him. This is the so-called "greenhouse". The dragon is the first choice for sleeping companions, and the tiger is forbidden.

marry

The wedding ceremony of Zhangzhou bride is complicated. In the Qing Dynasty, Zhangzhou married a woman who was a nanny, which was called "seeing off the bride". She will accompany the bride to her husband's house, and all the ceremonies will be presided over and directed by her.

On the wedding day, the bride above should be bathed in fragrant pomegranate soup and put on a red coat, skirt, gown and embroidered shoes. The bride-to-be invites the bride to the class, and then the elder or "lucky" woman combs her hair, combs her hair and wears flowers, which is called the "head". Some just put the jewelry in front of the shrine in the hall by the mother (in the absence of the mother, it will be replaced by other female elders), indicating that they have been raised. This gift is also the legacy of ancient gifts. The bride should also wear a rockhopper. In some places, jasmine grass should be inserted in her head to ward off evil spirits, pomegranate flower heart leaves should be inserted to indicate more children, and early rice ears should be inserted to indicate early children.

After the bride was dressed up, the whole family got together for a farewell party. A banquet is always twelve dishes, called "twelve bowls". After eating, the bride and relatives solemnly said goodbye and then retreated to the back room.

The bride's sedan chair and the man of honor guard who received her husband arrived at the woman's house at the scheduled time. The sedan chair stopped outside the door and the drummer hit it hard. Wedding guests call the door and set off firecrackers. The bride's family won't open the door to welcome her at once. The bride's wedding reception should be coaxed, and the woman makes things difficult again and again. It is generally believed that only in this way can she keep her wealth. After the wedding party set off three sets of firecrackers, the woman opened the door, fired a cannon to greet her, and presided over the wedding procession with sweet "egg tea". Under the repeated urging of the bridesmaids, the bride took a small mirror and a bag with mascots such as lotus seeds, peanuts, sweet-scented osmanthus, pomegranates and jasmine hearts, which meant that "your son gives birth to your son, and future generations will come" and walked out of the hall to bow down to the gods, ancestors and parents.