Qiao Yingzi chose to jump into the sea in order to go to the South University, how poisonous is the wrong education to the children

The moment Yingzi climbed the railing and was about to jump into the sea, she was truly disappointed with the world. What should have been the closest of parent-child relationships has developed to the point where death has to be a condition for speaking one's mind properly. What's even sadder is that this is a common state of affairs in Chinese families.

"Real," "too heartfelt," and "this is my mom/dad" were the most common comments from viewers after watching "Little Happiness," especially from Song Qian

The portrayal of the lives of the mother and daughter, Yingzi, allows us to see the daily lives of the families behind China's millions of college entrance exam students.

I just want to run away from you, you are good enough for me.

You cooked for me every day, accompanied me to class and took care of my life.

I know it's not easy for you, I'm the one who thinks too much, I don't deserve the love you give me.

I haven't had a good night's sleep in thirty-four days, I don't know what's wrong with me.

I just want to run away.

I'm sorry that I wasn't a good enough daughter to you, that I didn't turn out to be what you wanted in your hearts.

When Yingzi cried out these words from her heart, the sense of oppression, tension and anxiety that her mother had brought to her for a long time was finally cathartic, while her parents couldn't stop the pain and disbelief in their hearts when they heard these words.

Mom is trying to do you a favor.

It's true that Song Qian quit her job for her daughter Yingzi, taking care of everything from meals to tutoring, from soundproof walls to glass windows, and monitoring Yingzi's life, and focusing on her daughter's social and work life, which is almost non-existent. This kind of "everything", you can imagine, the child in the end will be how much pressure.

If this kind of watchful care is just the daily routine of a mother looking forward to her daughter's success, then the brainwashing moral abduction such as "for your own good" and "you're all that matters to your mother" is the most common mantra of all Chinese parents.

Who is this "for your own good" that parents often talk about? The moral abduction in the name of love is really for the children's good? With the death of a 17-year-old boy who jumped off the Lupu Bridge in Shanghai and the murder of his mother by Wu Xieyu, China's traditional authoritarian parenting philosophy is seriously damaging the relationship between parents and children.

Thomas Gordon, a famous American psychologist, once said, "In any human relationship, there is such a tone or atmosphere. In the family, parents create the emotional climate in the family.

What parents say to their children, the way they treat them, affects them positively or negatively.

Parents can rely on their authority and power to create an atmosphere that controls their children's behavior. In such an atmosphere, the child needs to be obedient, to be a "good boy" - to follow the parent's orders while avoiding punishment from the parent.

Or, parents can create a permissive atmosphere. A child in a permissive family can get anything he wants, or he can throw tantrums, be self-centered, and make all kinds of demands.

Both environments are difficult to help a child grow up healthy, whether on an emotional or psychological level.

To realize the healthy growth of a child's mind and emotions, parents need to create an atmosphere of mutual respect."

Li Meijin, a professor at the People's Public Security University of China, also said on the talk show "Roundtable" that "a child's performance is a reflection of his or her parents," and that children will be influenced by their parents, especially their parents, in the process of growing up, from their words to their behavior. The government has also been working with the government to improve the quality of life of the people.

Traditional Chinese education believes that children are subordinate to their parents, and that children must listen to their parents.

The child has become a tool for the parents to prove themselves and to realize themselves. They have not been able to go to school, they have not been able to enjoy the things, they have not been able to go to the place, let the children instead of their own completion, under the banner of "for your own good", but all they do is to realize their own needs, and that kind of abandon everything for the children to pay for the behavior, but also is not a sacrifice, just a perversion of the self-realization of it.

Don't let the "for your own good" become the dagger that kills the child's nature. What the child needs is not for your own good, but for family harmony, freedom and respect.