985 doctoral mother tutoring daughter's homework was angry and cried: doctoral parents with children is really difficult

Some research data show that the higher the parents' education, the easier it is to produce education anxiety.

This is not, a few days ago, a video in the jitterbug fire.

A 985 PhD mom froze and cried in a hurry when she was counseling her daughter's homework ...

And even choked up and said angry words: "I don't even want to be her mom".

In fact, the problems encountered by highly educated parents in educating their children are not less than those encountered by ordinary people.

Dr. parents with children's "love-hate relationship", really wonderful .....

985 doctoral mother tutoring daughter homework was anxious to cry

on the hot search

Recently, a 985 doctoral mother tutoring daughter homework was anxious to cry on the topic of the major hot search list.

In the video, she choked up while counseling her child to write homework, and said with a sobbing voice:

"Just a few words, wrote 3 hours"

"I don't want to be her mother. "

"I also want to control myself, don't want to scold her ......"

In fact, the high educated people in the education of children

In fact, the high degree of education in the education of the child was angry at the thing, or quite common occurrence, doctoral parents after the birth of the child and the child's "love-hate relationship", but also can be found in the academic aspects of a lot of epitomized.

Can take graduate students but can not teach their daughters

Dr. director called: too difficult

Generally speaking, the majority of people read to the age of PhD, but also to the time to talk about marriage, a lot of people will choose to have their own children during the doctoral period.

According to the general view of the public "dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes", a lot of people feel that highly educated parents with children is a piece of cake, and children's education is certainly not to worry about.

But in fact, as the first time parents of the doctor, the road to bring children, can be too difficult...

Many doctoral graduation ceremonies are attended by doctoral parents who hold their children.

Even sometimes the schedule of the baby is very tight, the morning is the mother's, the afternoon is the father's, a day to catch two doctoral graduation ceremony.

As for why the baby to participate, in an interview, most of the doctoral parents said, mainly want to let the child feel the academic atmosphere, in the future, I hope that the baby can be healthy and happy, and then best of all, the academic performance is also very good.

As their children grow up, PhD parents will gradually feel that they can only choose one or the other when it comes to bringing up their children and doing academic work.

A team of researchers from Harvard and Northwestern University showed that during the epidemic, some researchers wrote fewer papers because they were busy with their children.

The survey showed that after comparing them, the researchers found that the factor that most affected the respondents' work was caring for their children. Of these, infants and toddlers under the age of 5 had the most significant impact on respondents' work hours.

For women in particular, childcare is an extremely important factor in cutting down on women's research hours. The data shows that female researchers experienced a greater decline in working hours during the epidemic than men.

In the respondents' predictions, the researchers also found that caring for children had a similar impact on researchers: having children under the age of five in the home significantly reduced the expected output and impact of research.

New research from the University of Colorado, Boulder, also shows that women in academia experience about a 20% drop in paper output after having children.

Finally, as their children grow up and start primary and secondary school, PhD parents who can spare more time are faced with a new problem: their children's education.

But as it turns out, there is a canyon between being good at school and being good at teaching your kids to be good at school.

In early July, the personal teacher homepage of a blogger at Chongqing University caught fire, and at the end of his profile, the teacher wrote: "Although he has supervised more than 70 graduate students (including those in school and graduates), he still can't do anything about his middle-schooler daughter's education."

Tutoring homework, but also found that they do not study, direct "naked" tutoring children is no longer as effective as in elementary school.

"I think math is very good, but once or twice she had factorization and solve equations of a class of problems do not, bring to ask me, I did half a day did not do it, so slowly also gave up."

In the end, the director chose not to ask about the child's studies.

He thinks that if parents hold the attitude that they can be tutored because they were "the best" back then, it's especially easy to get into trouble with their kids. On the one hand, there is a discrepancy between what children are learning now and what they learned when they were young. On the other hand, parents do not grasp the psychology of education, once they think very simple things, the child "surprisingly" can not, it will trigger the child's dissatisfaction, bring conflict.

So he decided that it would be better to create a learning environment for his children, and that it would be up to them to learn the specifics.

With this director of the same "education difficult" experience, there is also Professor Ding of Peking University.

Prof. Ding said he could memorize the entire Xinhua Dictionary at the age of 6. He was an undergraduate at Peking University, and after graduation, he went to Columbia University to get his doctorate in education.

His wife is also a graduate of Peking University, but he has found that his daughter has almost perfectly avoided her parents' genes, and is on the road to being a "dunce".

Particularly when he was tutoring his daughter, Prof. Ding always had a deep sense of powerlessness, and sometimes he couldn't help but get angry.

In this regard, he spat out "not counseling homework father and daughter, counseling homework chicken fly dog jump." Also once on the microblogging hot search.

Finally, looking at the child's face full of incomprehension and aggression, Prof. Ding also from the beginning of the hate to the later skepticism of life finally turned into a heart like water.

"I want to let the child against the odds, but the child let me resigned to fate, do not accept what can be done? That's just the way she is."

In the end, he decided to give up the high pressure, hoping that his child would find other strengths to become useful.

Educational Anxiety of Highly Educated People

In people's common perception, the higher the education level, the easier it tends to be to educate children. But in reality, the level of knowledge and the ability to educate children cannot simply be equated.

According to Zhang Xiaoqiang, a blogger, there is a certain universality to the educational anxiety of highly educated parents.

"Of course, without looking at education, education anxiety itself is universal. But on another level, I feel that highly educated parents are afraid to be more anxious than parents with lower education. This is because education is particularly emphasized in traditional Chinese culture, and the concept of "one generation is stronger than the next" is y rooted in people's hearts. Influenced by this concept, some highly educated parents find it hard to accept that their children are not as good as they are in terms of education and so on."

We can't deny that there are some highly educated parents who do a better job of educating their children, such as the one we reported a few days ago, "In the same college, the father is a doctoral candidate and the daughter is a master's candidate".

But there are a lot of less educated parents out there who are doing just as well, and there are a lot of highly educated parents who can't do anything for their kids.

Looking just at the most basic transfer of knowledge, it is not always the case that more knowledge is better or easier to express. Teach your child, but also learn how to express it in a form that your child can accept. What's more difficult is that some of our highly educated parents, especially college teachers, may not understand the psychology of educating primary and secondary school students, and may think of the problem as too simple. Some parents do not reflect on themselves after they have hit a wall in education, but instead think it is the child's problem, which will inevitably lead to greater conflict.

To solve the educational anxiety of parents, I'm afraid we need to change the social culture that judges the success of children's education on the basis of scores, qualifications, and schools. The culture. Only a more diverse set of evaluation criteria can ease this anxiety.

Perhaps, in today's society, being able to let your child be an ordinary person with a normal life is also a kind of ability.