The return of the bride to her mother's home is also known as the "return to peace". Back to the door taboos are also mostly about the bride's taboos, but refers to the bride in the bride's home taboo

The return of the bride to her mother's home is also known as the "return to peace". Back to the door taboos are also mostly about the bride's taboos, but refers to the bride in the bride's home taboos! There are many old customs that continue to this day, preventing girls from returning home for New Year's Eve, but they are now being gradually withdrawn from people's attention.

(1) Superstition dictates that the deceased ancestor, at the end of the year (some say the 28th day of the month of Lunar New Year, others say the 29th or 30th day of the month of Lunar New Year) will return home from the sky to enjoy the offerings;

(2) The ancestor will not want to come into the house if he sees "outsiders" in the house;

(3) Married women are considered "outsiders";

(4) The bride's family has been recognized by the Chinese government as the "outsiders" of the country. "

(4) Therefore, a married woman could not spend New Year's Eve or the first day of the year at home;

(5) After enjoying the offerings, the old ancestors would return to heaven on the first (or second) night, so that their daughters could go home.

(6) New Year's Eve daughter-in-law can not look at her mother's lamp, look at the dead eunuch is the saying.

This rule is very strict in the old society, especially in rural areas, violation is a great disrespect. The new society, although people do not believe in ghosts and gods, but is still relatively strict compliance. If, for some special reason, a married daughter spends New Year's Eve at home, it is possible that her parents and family, including herself, will be very unhappy. This is also a cultural phenomenon that has been practiced for a long time and will probably be practiced for a long time to come. It is the combination of customs, traditions, and even bad habits that make up the taboos of New Year's Eve.

The return of the door is also known as the "return to peace", that is, "return to the mother's home". Back to the door taboo is also mostly about the bride's taboos, but refers to the bride in the bride's home taboos.

Henan area, in addition to the above-mentioned taboos on the 15th of the first month back to the bride's home to see the lights, but also taboos stove, the first day of the first month back to the bride's home. Because women do not sacrifice stoves, so the day of the sacrifice of stoves also do not call the girl back to her mother's home. The first day of the first month of the year is the beginning of the year, married out of the girl splashed out of the water, married to the husband's family is the husband's family. At the beginning of the New Year, the whole family reunion, naturally inconvenient to go back to her mother's home. The fifteenth day of the first month is also the first full moon of the year, fear that the daughter-in-law back to the bride's family will not be reunited. So it is generally the second day of the first month back to the bride's home, the sixteenth day of the first month back to the bride's home. In order to take care of both sides of the marriage reunion celebration. Luyi County has a "sixteen first month please (daughter), February 2 to send, a lifetime of not sick" proverb.

Zhejiang and other places, the old taboo bride in the winter solstice back to the door. Otherwise, it is thought that the husband's parents will be killed. Proverb: "Nyonya live a winter, the husband's family to a public." Jiangsu also has this custom. However, the reason is different, saying that if the winter solstice in the mother's home, the mother's family will be due to the decline of the family way.

The custom of returning to the mother's home on June 6 in the northern Shaanxi area is said to be to contact the feelings between in-laws, when the mother's home to invite the daughter and son-in-law back to the reunion. Henan also has this custom, however, is linked to the season of wheat harvesting and playing field. The popular saying goes: "After harvesting the wheat and playing the field, whose daughter does not see her mother. If the girl does not see her mother, she will die if not for her father-in-law."

Back to the door when the day of the taboo, is to let the bride to comply with the order of exchanges, should not go back to the door must not go back to the door, otherwise there will be bad things happen; the door back to the door, must go back to the door, or else, there will also be bad things happen. Generally married three days, the bride and groom to return to visit the two old, but that night must return to the husband's home before sunset, because the newlyweds can not empty the new room. Henan Linxian area, the bride three days back to the door to follow the road to welcome the bride to go, the so-called "three days do not walk two roads". Yi bride back to the door taboo on the road with the groom to talk, the two like strangers like passers-by. This is not down with their husband's custom. Han Chinese back to the door when the two mouths are always kissing, laughing and joking. Folk have "back to the mother's home" ditty popular. Newlyweds return to the door with gifts, are pairs, avoid singular. The mother's family can not be accepted in full, to return to the husband's family, but also to bring back part of it. Some of the bride, influenced by superstitious thinking, until one hundred and twenty days (four months) before returning to the peace, and some to three years later to go home. Some places in Zhejiang Province, a woman's life is committed to the so-called "broken mother's home", such a woman, not at home on the sedan chair, the marriage by the male family to pick up the female out of the door, the female wearing rags, dressed as a beggar look like a temple in the dress on the sedan chair, so-called "Borrowed Marriage", the female family parents and relatives must be Avoid hiding, all by the husband's family to take care of. One hundred and twenty days after the wedding, before returning to peace. Otherwise, the mother's family will be ruined or suffer misfortune. There is also the so-called fate of the crime "away from the arena" (husband and wife separated) and "back to Lu" (by the fire), are in four months, or even three years before they can go home.

Generally speaking, after a month of marriage, in-laws can freely communicate with each other. The bride can live in her mother's house when she returns. The number of days to live is quite elaborate. Some areas of Henan have a few days to live a few days of custom. Proverbial cloud: "eight to eight, two hair", "nine to nine, two heads have". That is to say, the eighth day of the return to the Ning can live in the mother's home for eight days, the ninth day of the return to the Ning can live in the mother's home for nine days. In this way, the maximum number of days is a pair of months. If they live in this way, it is auspicious for both the man and the woman, otherwise it is not good. However, there is also a taboo against staying eight days, so-called: "live seven not eight, live eight poor mother's home." The formation of this taboo is generally out of the thought that it is not easy for a married daughter to live in her mother's home. There are emotional limitations, moral constraints, but also economic pressures and production needs, is a variety of factors contributed to this customary agreement.

If the groom and the bride go back to the mother's home together, there are different taboos for their accommodation in the mother's home. In both the Han and Manchu there is the custom of the newlyweds to return to the bride's home to avoid the same room. The Manchus allow the master to live in the west bed, other guests are not allowed to live in the west bed. But the girl and the master can not live together, it is said that the newlyweds in the bride's home room will make the bride's family decline. This is also due to the concept of sexual impurity and blasphemy. It is often thought that the woman always loses out in matters between men and women. For this reason, the woman's family always feels a little bit suppressed psychologically. Besides, the mother's family, in-laws do not belong to a lineage, how can the mother's family indoor for the in-laws to provide a place to pass on the family? If she is really pregnant in her mother's house, will she not bring the "power" and "wealth" of her mother's house to her mother-in-law's house? The mother's family will surely decline as a result. So it is absolutely forbidden to the two children in the mother's home room together, this is the custom of the ideological concept. However, the same in the Han, there are many places is not taboo newlyweds in the mother's home with the bed **** pillow. Sometimes, these two very different customs will coexist in the same county, for example, in Henan Linxian these two customs exist at the same time.

After the bride returned to the door, the identity has changed, is the person of the family, and therefore, the mother's family also often "to prevent her". Oroqen married daughter back to her mother's home, taboo brush pot. Otherwise, her family's fortune will be brushed away. Henan Xiuwu County has a similar taboo. The local folk taboo out of the girl touch, take the spoon and fire pillar of the mother's family. It is said that "touching the spoon does not kill the father-in-law, dead mother-in-law", "take the fire pillar does not kill the father-in-law, dead son-in-law". It is also taboo to take the knife and scissors of the mother's family, and it is forbidden to catch the dog of the mother's family and so on. Said: "I'm afraid that in the future to cut off the relationship between the mother's family, bite off the road." In short, it is the birth of a hundred ways to prevent the married girl and then use or take away the things of the mother's family, if married and then take the things of the mother's family, and as a result of verbal disputes, disputes, that will inevitably affect the relationship between men and women, but, after all, it is not a good way to strictly prevent, how to make her consciously do not take it? So they use "dead father-in-law", "dead son-in-law" curse to scare her, to warn.

The bride returned to the Ning, avoiding the in-laws encountered in the unhappy things one by one to the mother's family to listen to, and avoid returning to the mother-in-law's home, and then the mother's home, regardless of the seriousness of the matter to the in-laws to listen to. This "learning to talk" results will often cause trouble, affecting the relationship between men and women, the bride will also fall a "rakish woman" reputation. Therefore, there is a "will be when the daughter-in-law of both sides of the concealment, will not be when the daughter-in-law of both sides of the transmission" of the proverb.