Shen Teng's lines about life without death

Master: Apprentice, (both kneel down together) Master's life and death friend, Lord Ai, has been put in death row and will be executed tomorrow, so you must rescue him tonight. Suppose some enemies surround you and want to circle kick you! The master will teach you a trick, sorry, sorry, sorry (master kneeled a circle) ...... how?

Apprentice: this can work?

Master: hearts are meat long, this circle down, I see who still have the nerve to kick me.

Apprentice: Master, this I can not come.

Master: Since you are so unable to let go of face, you take this "Moonlight Box", but the mission failed, open it and read out loud the incantation "I really want to live for another five hundred years," it will help you realize the time reversal, go.

Apprentice: Yes. (The master rubbed his knees and left the stage)

Ai adults: life from ancient times who have no death, to take the heart of Dan Zhi Zhao Khanqing. (The magistrate came with a bowl of noodles)

Magistrate: Lord Ai, you will be sentenced to death tomorrow, have a bowl of longevity noodles.

Lord Ai: Humph. (Yamen put the bowl on the ground)

Yamen: Before you leave, is there anything else you want?

Lord Ai: Hahaha! Come to the head of the garlic. (Yamen went forward to take the foot swagger)

Yamen: I give you face, give you face is not it, give you a fire you still manage me to ask for a head of donkey chanting, but also garlic, how do you think.

(Yamen down, apprentice on)

Apprentice: Mr. Ai.

Lord Ai: Who are you?

Apprentice: It doesn't matter who I am.

Lord Ai: Do you have garlic?

Apprentice: no, came in a hurry. I came to save you on the orders of my master.

Lord Ai: Who is your master?

Apprentice: My master is your life and death friend, people send nicknamed "Jishuitan Tan master circle noble" Ai adults, we hurry to go.

Ai adults: the strong man and slow, you finally came to my rescue, to be my packing packing. (Lord Ai squatting on the ground roll mat)

Apprentice: Lord Ai, there is no need, we are escaping from prison is not moving.

Lord Ai: It makes sense, I'll dress up a little.

Apprentice: Lord Ai, no need.

Lord Ai: I have been a clean official all my life, loved by the people, I can't let them see me in a state of disarray.

Apprentice: Mr. Ai, you're overthinking it, there's not a single citizen out there.

Lord Ai: This you remind me. (Lord Ai lying on the window) People, I heard that Lord Ai is about to be released from prison, so you should go to the door to greet him. Thank you for saving me, lead the way.

Apprentice: go go go ...... (Yamen looking in through the window)

Yamen: what are you shouting about, what kind of person. (Lord Ai hurriedly lay down on the ground to pretend to sleep)

Apprentice: what is this for? (Yamen came in and chopped the apprentice)

Yamen: give you face is not it, I am on duty you dare to rob the prison, bold death row inmates today to send you to the road.

Ai adults: what happened? (pointing to the apprentice) Who are you?

Apprentice: Mr. Ai, there is no such thing, right?

Yamen: I'll finish you off first. (Chopped at the apprentice)

Apprentice: slow down (took out the moonlight box) I really, (chopped by the magistrate) I really, (chopped by the magistrate again) I really (chopped again) I really convinced you, can you let me sing this line in full.

Namen: You sing.

Apprentice: I really miss you. (Another cut)

Ngao Yi: Daring, how dare you molest me, take your life. (Goes after the apprentice)

Apprentice: Mr. Ai, I will come back, I really want to live for another 500 years (music) Time reversal.

Lord Ai: Life.

Namen: shut up, Lord Ai is going to be executed tomorrow, come and have a bowl of longevity noodles.

Lord Ai: not hungry.

Yamen: I gave you face isn't it, not when you are hungry. (Yamen down the apprentice on the field)

Ai adults: who are you?

Apprentice: shut up, this is your garlic (handed over a head of garlic) now not allowed to open, go out in the food, hurry up.

Lord Ai: I'm going to go, I have to clean up first.

Apprentice: What do you need it for, what does the grass need him for.

Lord Ai: Then I slightly dress up.

Apprentice: no need to dress up, who see you ah? I'm not going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it.

Ai adults: that the people.

Apprentice: no one, not a single person, hurry up.

Lord Ai: Strong man, I'll just say a word, okay?

Apprentice: just one sentence ah, dare to say one more. （

Lord Ai: Someone is trying to kill me.

Namen: shout what shout, what people.

Apprentice: wait for me, wait for me (the magistrate came on the stage with a knife) don't think I can't beat you without cutting you.

Namen: ah! Copy the guy ah.

Apprentice: I'll fight you and still need to copy the weapon? Let you see what is called empty-handed, come on. (Yamen even stabbed a few knives, the disciple clapped his hands and fainted on the ground)

Ai adults: cut him, don't leave a living person (stepped forward to take the foot to kick) I told you not to let me talk, not only talk I also read a poem, life from ancient times who have no death, to take the heart of the sweat of the feet, feet, feet.

Namen: how. （

Disciple: You wait, you wait.

Namen: You stop, stop.

Apprentice: I really want to live for another 500 years, (music) turn back time again.

Namen: Lord Ai will be sentenced to death tomorrow, come and eat a bowl of garlic. (At this time, the apprentice from the back to peel off the magistrate to kick Lord Ai)

Apprentice: recite a poem, right, but also life from the beginning of the world, who do not have to die, I tell you, who do not die, you will have to die, kill you.

Yamen: this strong man, he will be on the execution ground tomorrow, there is no need for this, right?

Apprentice: I can't wait for tomorrow, the hatred between the two of us is beyond the understanding of ordinary people.

Lord Ai: Save me, save me.

Apprentice: It's the knee isn't it. (Taking the moonlight box to smash Lord Ai's knee)

Yamen: You let go.

Apprentice: before I leave, I'll have to make your knee waterlogged.

Namen: You let go. (cut a knife from behind)

Apprentice: when I come back next time even you together to clean up, finished, beat you bad, I kill you. (Three people fought in a piece)

Expanded:

The second installment of the sketch "Life from the Start" on "The Comedians of Joy" starred Shen Teng?





Allen? Yin Yifu

Shen Teng, born on October 23, 1979 in Qiqihar, Heilongjiang Province, is a Chinese mainland film and television director, actor, and a signatory to the Happy Mahua stage show. He graduated from the Theater Performance Department of the People's Liberation Army Academy of Art.

Allen, born in Beijing, is a Chinese mainland film and television actor, graduated from the acting department of Beijing Film Academy.

Wei Xiang is a Chinese actor and comedian, one of the "Meritorious Actors" of Happy Mahua.

Yin Yifu,? He graduated from the People's Liberation Army Academy of Art.