Crosstalk text of opening porridge factory

A: The audience gave us such encouragement. What good-looking art performances do we have?

B yes.

A: How many spectators are there today? They are far away from home, riding bicycles to watch our programs and express their love and feelings for us. Actually, you don't like the way we look.

Are you ashamed?

A Some audiences know the performances and performances of our Tianjin Quyi Troupe, and they are interested in Quyi. Tianjin is the hometown of Quyi.

B: That's right.

A It's recognized all over the country. You know art, especially crosstalk. The audience in Tianjin knows it very well. How to lie down, how to cushion, how to turn this "burden", what is called turning, turning and padding, most viewers understand. How skilled you are at listening to cross talk. Huh? This is a great encouragement to our actors, especially young and middle-aged actors. You know all the audience, right?

I know them both.

A is familiar with them all. Oh! Do you know me? Think about it.

B Oh, I can't remember.

Who am I? Go ahead.

Oh, forget it, forget it.

What's my name?

B forgot, forgot! What's your name?

Ma Jia!

The second horse? Your name?

A stand up three times.

B Oh, it's still "up and down". What are you doing up and down? Oh! Ma lisan

Ah, yes. Know my nickname?

Oh, and a nickname?

Haven't you heard of it?

No, no.

A: Huh? Everyone knows my nickname.

B What's your nickname?

A good man.

A good man?

A good man.

Oh, are you a kind person? Let's see, is this good man like this?

What is like? Why? What should it look like? Kind-hearted.

Kind-hearted?

A has a kind heart. Don't lie, don't lie to anyone, don't lie.

B yes.

A has never cheated anyone, never cheated anyone, never picked up a bargain. Be kind and treat others with conscience. Kindness is softhearted. No fighting, no scolding. Irony behind your back? Hurt people? Ma Renshan, never.

There is no such thing.

Fight? Good people don't look. I don't even watch boxing matches. I am soft-hearted. I heard that there was a fight, and I couldn't bear it. I can't bear to see it, and I dare not. Oh, my god

B Hi, Sun.

The heart is soft. It's too soft. Soften! He is a big shot. He has never seen cows, chickens or live fish slaughtered. He's never seen it. He's heard of it. Hey, kill fish, big live fish, jump, jump, jump! Grab it! Have diarrhea with a knife, like that, I've heard of it, but I've never seen it.

B haven't seen it Hey.

A: Oh, I can't stand it! Very good! Whoever hit me didn't kill anyone.

B-ho。

A That's it. Great.

B good.

A Okumo fell from the nail wall and trampled to death? Ma Renshan certainly didn't.

B Oh, a Okumo fell off the wall and didn't even step on it?

A spider? There is a bug on my bed, a big bug! What should we do?

B twisted to death?

Twist to death? What a shame. This is a small life. Does it understand? Does it know? Don't bother, hey, it's over! Mom, Ren Shan, come on.

B no.

A big bug. Who cares? Fuck it.

B hey!

Even if I catch a big louse, ouch, ho! What should we do?

B squeezed to death.

A crush? What a shame.

B how about that?

A: That's a kind of life. Squeeze to death?

Throw it underground.

A threw it underground and starved to death.

B how about that?

Whoever you are looking for, put it around your neck.

B: Hey! Oh, dear!

Jiashan.

B what is this called goodness? This is called immoral. Lice?

A weak heart. I am soft-hearted!

Soft hearted? Play with lice

A: We saved its life and haven't suffered yet.

B hey.

A is looking for a fat man.

B still need to find a fat man?

Ah, I'm full.

B hey, great!

A is playing.

B play? Is this fun? All right!

You see, this is very interesting. Why do you eat every day?

B, let lice eat?

Now I want to do good!

B ah ah! Did you do well? I avoid you. Why don't you put lice in it?

Who puts lice?

Will you do good?

To do good, I am speaking metaphorically. How can there be such convenient lice?

Oh, what's your address?

A is from Shunyi county.

B Shunyi county?

A small place, Shunyi.

Shunyi county in the north of Beijing?

A Yes, it's north of Beijing.

B It's 90 miles from Beijing.

Right, right, right, Shunyi County. There is a mapo in Shunyi County, my hometown.

Oh?

A mapo.

B Shunyi county?

A: Yes.

B Nanmapo, Beimapo. Two big towns?

Ah, yes!

B know, know!

A South Mapo and a North Mapo. How did you know?

B me?

A Have you ever been there?

B no.

A Have you ever been there?

B hasn't been there.

A How do you know that?

B I heard you.

A Have you ever been there?

B hasn't been there.

A never been there? All right, all right. Nanmapo, Beimapo, those houses belong to our family.

B Are they all from your family?

Ah, those houses, those big towns, all belong to the Ma family. You call Beijing to inquire about the Huang Tu Ma family in the north of Beijing, and that is our home. The nickname of our family? Hehuang Majia.

Oh, your family sells loess.

A selling loess? The cart sells loess. how much is it?

Huang Tu vest.

A said that no matter how far you go from Beijing to the north, you can see yellow land, right?

B is yellow land.

As long as it is yellow land, it is our home.

b？

A yellow horse.

B As long as it is yellow land, it belongs to your family.

Look at the yellow land, then don't ask! Don't ask, it's mom's.

B Gee, how many hectares are there?

How many hectares is a? More than two thousand miles.

B: Hey! More than two thousand miles?

A: Ah, whatever. Inside, inside.

The second richest man.

What kind of rich man? We dare not say rich people.

B big family

A: Ah! In our hometown, not to mention the first family, it is two people who are not bad money.

The second richest man.

A: Huh? In Tianjin and Beijing, is this still a rich man? Why don't we use this place? In our place, it is richer. Save it. There's business at home anyway. You have been to Beijing, so take two more steps. Ask around Majia in Shunyi County, Huang Tu, and visit our house. Our house, house, courtyard wall and yard are all miles away.

B: Hey! Oh, ten miles on one side?

-Hey, hey! Forty miles in all directions. There are eighteen roads in our yard, and there are more than 500 people in our family.

The second richest man.

More than 1300 people go back to their rooms, take care of things, drive cars, kill time in the kitchen, and even have servants.

B hey, big family.

We are descendants of Ma Yuan, the general of Fu Bo in the Han Dynasty.

B, Ma Yuan's son.

A: Ah! Does Ma Chao know? The Three Kingdoms Ma Chao.

B I know.

A Ma Chao, a Ma Dai, our ancestors. That was our last generation. Our predecessor was Ma Yuan, the general of Fu Bo in the Han Dynasty. This is all a family, surnamed Ma.

Ma, the second surname, is a family?

A: Ah.

B Oh, there is a "horse widow" in Pingju. What is your family?

A same surname.

B What's wrong with this place?

A it's different. We are descendants of Ma Yuan, the general of Fu Bo in the Han Dynasty. Please inquire about Li Wanchun, a literary singer.

Your family name is Tang Hui?

Brown Fu Ying.

B, go to your house to sing?

We don't call it a church gathering. We dare not say so. We are friends of others and they respect us. Let's invite them to my house for a few days to eat, live and play. We want them to be happy. Sing it.

B hey.

We don't call it a church meeting. Invite them to come, stay for a few days, have fun and visit Ma's house. Sing a few paragraphs, and everyone will take two paragraphs when you leave.

Oh, take two ... cucumbers! Yes, you have a lot of land and cucumbers.

A that's ridiculous! People sell so much strength, I'll give them cucumbers after singing?

B: What should we eat together? No cucumbers.

A Hey, that's ... gold.

B take gold?

A gold bar, this one is big and this one is long, 12 1. Take two each. There are many in the backyard. It's a mess Here you are. What are the obstacles? Why put it aside? Take it and play.

Ouch!

A big ingot, a small ingot, a small shovel and that small one, take it! Play for the children.

Hey, ouch!

A is useless!

B pile? Gold bars piled up like mountains!

A: Ah, I'm good at making friends and I don't care about money!

Your shoes need nailing! Haha, change shoes. Those gold bars.

Ask, you see everything! I always wear these shoes!

B yes! It hasn't changed at all.

Did you get a look at him? I don't want to change it.

B don't want to change?

A: Ah.

B Hey, neither do you.

A clean one.

B is it clean?

A suit is noble and clean, but not expensive. Ceng Zi said: "The steamed stuffed bun has meat and no pleats."

b？ Is this Zeng Ziyue?

Come to our house. Do you think highly of me?

Respect it.

Would you like to be my friend?

B yes.

A glimpse of majia garden. Have you ever been to the garden?

B Yes, I have. I visited all the gardens in Beijing.

Where is a?

B Wanshou Mountain.

Is there Wanshou Mountain?

Yijingshan.

Is there one in Jiajing Mountain?

B beihai.

A have you seen the good ones? Still ... still going to the garden What is that?

Your garden?

What's in Beihai? Look at that tree! Looking at flowers? Where are there no trees? There are trees along the road.

B what's in this garden?

A vest, hey!

B what's in it?

Jamajia Garden, the flowers are not fresh. Trees? Who hasn't seen a big tree? You visit the garden. What kind of trees do you visit? Hey, really! Majia Garden, what you see is art and scenery.

B Oh, what do you have there?

What's in A? Majia Garden has more than 60 small white pagodas. Ta, do you understand?

B I know.

Jiata! More than 60 small white pagodas, one taller than the other. The shortest and smallest tower is like the top of a department store.

B: Hey! What about the youngest?

A: Ah!

Ouch!

A There are more than seventy pavilions. The pavilion is full of white marble blocks and glass brick pavilions! The bottom of the pavilion is covered with silver. Crane and deer on both sides of the strait share the same spring, full of real gold.

Wow!

Jade horns, cat's eye eyes, and a slender tail. Crescent River, a white marble stone bridge. The goldfish whitebait in the river is better than the donkey, and the toad is as big as a camel.

B: Hey! Hey? Toad buds are like camels?

One thing.

B ok! This one.

Have you ever seen a goldfish?

B I have seen it.

Aren't you going to see goldfish in the garden?

B that depends.

How big is A?

B There are all kinds of gardens. So big.

Where is a?

B beihai park.

A Oh, how big is it?

B Zhongshan park.

A Oh, is it this big?

B this is the biggest!

A playing with fish? Play this? Fried fish, fried fish? Give it to me for free, give it to me for free. I don't want it.

B is it?

Ma Jia's family plays with fish. Which one do you want?

How big is your fish?

A hum! How old is it? Do the math! See the table?

Table B.

A it's so big

B so big?

A: Ah! Goldfish. Wang Tianer fish, tigerfish, blue velvet ball fish, red velvet ball fish, flower shell fish, flower root fish, giant cuttlefish. Squid, understand?

B cuttlefish? Black?

A black one, like Xiao Lv, like a little black donkey.

B Gee, is this fish so big?

Ah, goldfish!

Ouch! Where do you eat?

A fish tank.

B fish tank? How big is this?

How big is A? Glass brick. Thin glass? Thin glass, what is the fish tank for? Glass brick, thick glass brick, fish tank! I brought it from abroad.

B how big is this?

How big is the armor! All right, you do the math! Have you seen Democracy 10?

B democracy 10, steamboat?

A.

B Tianjin is bound for Dalian.

A That's right, Democracy 10.

B I know.

The boat, A, hovers around my fish tank.

B: Hey! "Democracy 10" is wandering in your fish tank?

A: Ah.

Oh, how did you get in?

A crane! The crane hoisted it in.

B oh, it's hung in.

A Let it go around and see how long it takes. Just for fun. I brought it from abroad. Foreigners gave me eight boxes, eight boxes, one foot thick, all ivory.

B-ho, how big is this?

A Frenchman gave me a piece of cowhide, open, five miles long, seamless and complete.

How old are you?

A Swiss country, my clock, the big clock on the table, is made of wood.

B is a clock, all made of wood.

Are they all made of wood? That's the shell. The shell is made of wood. The parts in this company are all made of wood, the whole wooden clock.

b？

A, no winding, no electricity, go straight. Is it enough? When the door of the watch opened, a wooden head jumped out. Woodenhead, so tall, came out with a small gong in one hand and a gong hammer in the other! "Dangdang!" Reach out and talk-"It's two o'clock!"

B yes! All right!

A went out again at three! "Bang, bang, bang." -"It's three o'clock!"

Oh, ok!

Do you want it? I will give it to you!

B no!

Take it for you to play with.

B No, I have no place to put it.

A that's all right. Think highly of me?

Respect it.

Hey, do you want to make friends?

B yes, yes.

Come to my house for a few days.

B I'll visit you sometime.

What do you mean you have time? You have too much time! I'll drive to pick you up! Go and play here, and take some with you when you leave.

B no! A lot, I don't want it!

I make friends easily! Hate me?

B I don't hate it.

Ah, to be honest, are you tired of me?

B not boring.

Really?

B really.

A I make friends easily. Many friends asked me, Ma Renshan, to bring some money. Take some money, now there are some disaster areas, how to solve the problem of food for the people in the disaster areas? I said, is that easy? Open several porridge factories. Let's eat.

Listen to this.

What is this? Take one month's interest, that's enough! Not many people, 100,000 people, eat!

Do you mean charity?

Let's not leave here! Don't say that! There is no charity.

Don't whisper.

A: We are not a charity. How dare you leave the word "shed"? We don't count! Helpless, the rich have rotten meat, the poor have no food to sleep, the stable has fat, the people are hungry, and the field is hungry. This causes wild animals to eat each other. Ceng Zi said: "People who can't be satisfied don't know that people who are hungry are hungry."

B Is that what Ceng Zi said, too?

A: Hey hey! Porridge factory, porridge factory.

B Open a porridge factory,100000 people. How much millet do you take?

What is Xiaomi doing? Are you full of millet porridge?

B what do you eat there?

A Three meals a day, Zhajiang Noodles in the morning and beef stew at noon.

B at night?

One jiaozi in the evening, bag!

Is this a porridge factory? Oh, dear!

A fat cow, eat and serve! That's not enough. I stood and watched. Eating more is a blessing. Eat! I am having a swell time.

Le Yi?

I am very happy.

After playing, you go home and eat your corn steamed bread.

how do you know Do you care? I'd love to! I eat steamed bread. What are you going to do to me?

What have I done to you?

I eat steamed bread. Do you dare to do anything to me?

B I wonder, I don't eat stewed beef

A I just like corn steamed bread.

B stewed pancakes are delicious!

How dare you do anything to me? You touched me?

B, there's a fight!

A I just like corn steamed bread.

B Then you can eat!

A I do! It's none of my business to eat wowotou.

B why don't you eat beef?

Look, let's eat the steamed corn bread. Not eating meat means not eating meat.

Why don't you eat?

I'm fine! I am soft-hearted. Calf, lamb, kill it with one knife! Eat? Well, I can't stand it. There is no harm, but it is also a kind of benevolence. See the cow but not the sheep, the gentleman fears the beast! Seeing his life can't bear to see his death, and smelling his voice can't bear to eat his meat, which is a gentleman's distant cooking.

Yes Ceng Zi said. ...

Wait a minute, please stop! You can't say anything nice!

A eat like this every day. Three meals a day, and more for the New Year! Do you want to go on holiday?

B: Yes!

Do you want to celebrate the New Year?

B: Yes.

What if there is no money for the holidays? Give him something. Take it away! Eat at home.

B Well, I usually eat this. There are also special supplies for festivals and festivals.

A: Yes.

Ouch! The first of these three festivals is May Festival.

A festival in May, Zongzi. Eat zongzi, fifty or fifty zongzi per person!

B fifty?

Fifty per person, regardless of children. Everyone has one. Take it away! Eat it!

B, one or two, that?

One or two? Is the horse's zongzi one or two?

Oh, one or two?

Who cares about you?

B yo? How big is that?

There are thirty dates in each zongzi.

b？ A zongzi with 30 dates?

Hey, I'm looking after this bag. Hey, custom-made

B gami?

Well, you won't miss a date. There must be thirty dates in each zongzi.

B: Good! Return what?

A also gave half a catty of red cherries, half a catty of white cherries, half a catty of black and white mulberries, and fifty eight apricots. Twenty yellow and white zongzi, twenty hibiscus zongzi, a basket of coriander, a basket of peppers and ten roses. Two calamus, two dwarfs, one or two cinnabar, one or two realgar, three sacred symbols, two civil and military judges, ten treasures from Five Blessingg, three gourds, five catties of white flour, one catty of shochu, one jar of rice vinegar and five catties of yellow croaker. If it stinks, change it.

B hey! How thoughtful. Oh, dear!

A No matter adults or children, everyone has a share. It's good.

B It's May Festival now, but what about August Festival?

August Festival? Moon cakes!

B Yes, moon cakes.

Give two reunion cakes and small moon cakes to each person.

Two two one.

Two two one? Six pounds each.

b？ Six pounds each.

A Six pounds each, which is small in our family.

B where is it?

Jia Ma's moon cake, more than 30 kg! So big, so thick! You can't even break it. You have to hit it with a hammer! "When! When! When "! Smashed.

B smashed it! Steamed in a steamer, right? This bean cake is!

Did I say bean cake? Moon cakes as big as bean cakes.

B Do you have this big one?

A custom-made What's changed about this Majia moon cake? You taste this stuffing, look, you taste it!

B no! Assorted stuffing. What else has changed?

Your assorted stuffing. Is Ma's family the same as yours?

what has changed?

A This Ma family is called "What's changed", this moon cake.

what has changed?

Change the past, handy. What you want to eat depends on what you say, and then it changes. "Wow, this big moon cake is delicious. It is filled with white sugar. " Goodbye! Hey, the sugar stuffing is delicious. Take two bites, tired of it! "Hey, jujube paste is good!" See you again! There's no sugar at all, it's all jujube paste.

B hey! Is this good?

A "jujube paste is delicious! Oh, south, coconut stuffing, we can't eat it here! " See you again! Coconut stuffing. Do you believe it or not? Do not believe, curse the street!

B letter! I believe!

What kind of moon cake is this?

What has changed?

Whose family?

Who has it? Ma's family has.

A How do you know that?

That's what you just taught me

A: Yes. That's right. What kind of moon cakes? Give everyone two big moon cakes.

B: Anything else?

A also sent ten lilacs, ten lilacs, a catty of meat moon cakes and a catty of vegetarian moon cakes; One meal of fresh fruit: five apples, five peaches, five pomegranates, five persimmons, five pears, ten betel nuts, ten fruits, ten Pak Lei, half a catty of grapes, two jins of jujubes, one watermelon, a handful of cockscomb flowers, three moon yards, one high fragrance, a pair of plain wax, and eight and a half catties of river crabs. Fat.

Oh ... huh? This crab is hanging, eight and a half pounds?

Ah, this is custom-made.

B ah ... ah? Crabs are also made to order?

A it's not custom-made, it's ... fishing!

Where can I get it?

A Go to our river. Toads are like camels.

Right, right, right. There is one in your river.

Eat this on August Festival.

B Oh, today is August Day. It's the New Year!

A year off, Laba porridge.

b？ Laba porridge?

Honey melon sacrifices to the stove! Twenty-third of the twelfth lunar month, all of them!

B have it all?

A: Ah!

So ... what does Laba do?

Take it all away on the third day of the twelfth lunar month! Take away all the sacrificial stoves. I'm too busy for a year to rest.

B is it?

A Laba porridge is even given to people who worship the stove.

What did b give you?

A boiled porridge, Laba porridge! Rice material! Take it! Everyone is involved. Give each person a catty of rice, a catty of yellow rice, a catty of coix seed, and four liang of water chestnut rice; Half a catty of mung beans, half a catty of red cowpeas, half a catty of red adzuki beans, one catty of raw chestnuts, two jins of jujubes, half a catty of walnuts, four ounces of rock sugar, two ounces of sugar, two ounces of roses, two ounces of cloves, two ounces of moss, two ounces of red silk, two ounces of raisins, two ounces of longan, one copy of paper, one copy of gold ingot and one copy of wax.

B cold water? Anyway, everything is under control!

A By the way, there is still one year left.

B Gee, how much did you give up this year?

It's not over yet. How can I place an order at the end of the year?

B Oh, can I pay you back at the end of the year?

What do you mean, give it back? If a gentleman follows the Tao, he can choose to keep good! You can't give up halfway!

B: That's right.

Jia Zengzi said: "One sheep is also driven, and two sheep are also released!"

B ok, here we go again! Ceng Zi said this?

The word "A" belongs to Ceng Zi ... Hey, one sheep is driven and two sheep are released! My leg is numb, numb! Hey, hey, gong! ..... That's all Ceng Zi said. Take a year off.

What is the second year off for?

Take a year off? Five feet of honey supply. Everyone gives five feet of honey, honey, understand?

B I know.

A large supply of honey! An Gong, Beijing Zhengmingzhai Custom-made!

B: That's right.

Nails are brittle and sticky! Sweet mouth!

B hey!

Lift your greedy big bug. Everyone taught honey a lesson.

What else will b give?

A there is more! For fresh fruit, vegetarian dishes, butter moon cakes, fresh noodles, three bowls in front of the kitchen god, a pair of heavy vegetarian dishes, a pair of big double bags, a pair of small red envelopes, and six multi-halls; Twenty-eight bowls, six halls of flowers, five pomegranate flowers and a piece of mutton for the god of wealth. Outside, you need a red rope, a pack of fruit for the New Year's Eve, money for hanging lanterns outside, a bed of bedding, five pairs of Spring Festival couplets, street couplets, door couplets, Buddha couplets, God of Wealth couplets, kitchen couplets, Fulian, Buddha couplets, horizontal couplets and bucket couplets. "Go out to see happiness" and "look up to see happiness", two dusters, a pile of Tibetan incense, a cymbal helmet and a kitchen king niche. Ten red flowers, ten white flowers, ten yellow flowers, thirty satin flowers, a Shimen man. One is an official, one is a heaven and earth code, one is full of wealth, and one is popular. The God of Wealth has a single guide, a constitutional book, a red lantern, ten knives for burning paper, ten hemp classics, ten hemp, five kicks, three whips, one high incense, one thread incense, ten rolls of incense, one box of refined ingots, two pancreas, two explosions, ten pieces of red cotton, two boxes of powder, one jar of osmanthus oil, two hundred catties of bituminous coal and two incense. One hundred steamed buns, two catties of yellow rice cakes, two catties of white rice cakes, two catties of bee cakes, one hundred pieces of rice cakes, five catties of beef, five catties of mutton, a pair of pheasants, a pair of wild cats, a lump of flour, a piece of venison, two fat hens, a duck, a Kanto chicken, two hundred catties of cabbage, two hundred catties of sauerkraut, ten handfuls of spinach, two bundles of leeks and two catties of carrots.

Children, ten pieces of dried vegetables, half a catty of jellyfish, ten eggs, five pine flowers, five ducks, two catties of black and yellow sauce, four ounces of sesame sauce, half a catty of water, half a catty of salted carrots, one packet of pickles, four ounces of shrimp oil, one can of laba vinegar, one packet of pepper, one packet of aniseed, one packet of spiced noodles and one packet of red rice, five catties.

B: Hey! Oh, dear!

A, the cost of opening the door on this day is more than 2 billion!

B Yes, more than two billion, hey.

A sold his cotton-padded jacket this morning and ate tofu brain.

b？ Don't you run a porridge factory?

Well, I'm just going to give up, but I haven't made a fortune yet!

B didn't get rich