Growing Pains Comedy Script

A:Xiaochao, let me ask you, what do you think we should pursue in life?

B:The pursuit of love and career

A That's great, I'm going to pursue my love

A How can I pursue this love?

B You have to learn how to pick up people

A How do you pick up people and how do you pick up people?

B For example, if you look at a girl who is our host, teacher, what do you do if you fall in love with her?

A What to do?

B You have to wait for her every day at the TV station, and when she arrives at the TV station, you rip and follow her in, and then pat her on the shoulder, look at her with a bewildered, sad look, and then sing: "Will there be a day after tomorrow if I fall in love with you? I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that, but I'm sure you'll be able to.

A I have to meet, I have to talk to, that's really a lot of people looking for her a thousand degrees, the twilight look back that person is still on me.

A I have to talk to her.

B Hi! I don't want to talk about her.

A I met her in the public **** bathroom.

B Well, it's a romantic place 。。。。

A The girl was washing her hands and I was washing mine. I had the courage to tell her what was in my heart.

B What did you say?

A Did you pee on your hands too?

B That. And the girl?

A He gently picked up the toilet and smashed it over me.

B That's pretty strong.

A But we met and fell in love.

B Good thing.

A Every day she wants to lose weight, so I advise her.

B How?

A Eat something to have the strength to lose weight.

B What?

A She picked up the toilet and immediately smashed it at me.

A Then I fell out of love

B It should have ended a long time ago.

A Then I lost 1 love and put a brick on the mountain, lost 1 love and put a brick on the mountain, and then there was ---- the Great Wall.

B The long 。。。。 That . This Qin Shi Huang is lost love death.

A What do you say I do?

B You so listen to me, you go to find a job, create a career.

A You said it so well. I just apply for job interviews every day, but they often ask me boring questions.

B What do they ask you?

A What do you know about the concept of teamwork?

B Tell me about it

A One monk picks water to drink, two monks carry water to drink, three monks have no water to drink, four monks play mahjong, a hundred monks happy net steal vegetables.

B Well? The first thing you need to do is to get the money to pay for it. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money from the bank. The first thing you need to do is to get the money to pay for it. This applauded are stolen vegetables two hundred monks also steal dinosaurs, you this like words?

A You don't have to do this

B You don't have to do this, so what else is there?

A This is the most hateful, and some companies ask me: do you know English.

B Eh, English is important.

A Which post-80s companies don't know English?

B So tell me

A You see they ask, how do I say Happy New Year.

B How do you say it?

A I was shocking them.

B Speak

A Happy birthday!

B Alas, the birthday ah this English do not know don't talk nonsense, if you don't understand can ask me.

A Do you know English?

B I am very good at English.

B I'm very good at English.

B You can ask.

A Well, translate it

B Come on

A Translate it quickly

B Okay

A Well, ladies and gentlemen, hello.

B That's it

A Well

B Well, listen, I'm going to translate it for you in a purely American way

A Well

B Ladies and gentlemen, good evening to you.

A Yang, you know what I like about you?

B What do you like about me

A I like you to stay away from me.

B What do you mean by a little farther away.

A How long are you going to keep saying that?

B It's a matter of pronunciation.

A No, what do you want me to do?

B If you are like this, you should work in a big company.

A That's great.

A great point. I'm going to Haier Group!

B They are big companies

A Look at the questions they ask, they ask good questions.

B What did they ask?

A They asked why the Haier Brothers of Haier Group only wear underwear.

B Underpants? How did you answer that?

A Why do the Haier Brothers only wear underwear.

B Why?

A Because they are.

B What?

A Because they don't have q-coins

B (Speechless. Finger pointing a few times)

A That's corporate culture, corporate culture is like that .

B (surprised) Are you the legendary 290?

A How can I be 290 when others are 250?

B You are 250+38+2 (=290).

A You're making a personal attack.

B What do you mean no Q-coins?

A I find my life too disillusioned.

B Hi

A I've grown up for more than 20 years and suddenly realized that kindergarten is better. When I was a kid, I could pull the hand of any female classmate, and when I grew up, I could pull the hand of any female classmate, and that was it.

B Stinking hooligans.

A When you are young, you can think of nothing, when you grow up, you must.

B You have to think about everything.

A When I grew up, I started to be afraid of growing up, and I really wanted to be - like a kid (background music: We're all good kids) (wipes tears)

B Stop! Stop! Stop! Music stops This is not---. You're sick you.

A You've got drugs.

B You're sick, you're sick.

A You can cure it.

B You're sick, you're sick, you're sick, you're sick.

A You're a repeater.

A B Don't give me a hand!

(Two people made the "eagle wings" action)

B I tell you I do not move I will consume you to death!

A Who's wearing who out, that's who.

B You're sick.

A I'm not sick.

B Why so low?

A I went out to take my pills.

B Why are you so depressed?

A Ah, who is depraved?

B I'm telling you, youth is passionate, youth is exciting, the rhythm of youth should be like this. (Nobody music plays)