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1

I often think that, whether it's day or night, all of my life seems to be a night life. The first time I thought that was sometime in 1989.

That year, I was twenty-three years old. I stayed in certain corners of the city of Nanjing that were covered with dust and the fine hair of the sycamore. I waited for the plum blossoms to bloom on Meihuashan in the eastern suburbs, and saw the Qinhuai River draped in filth. I fantasized about spending what seemed to be my gray-colored youth by writing poems, talking to friends, straight roaming or living absurdly.

A year ago, I had just graduated from the astronomy department of Nanjing University. Nanjing University is a four-year program. I studied for five years and stayed a grade or finished, which is the track record of a garbage student. I didn't like to study, I started to leave early in my second year of college, I sat in the first row of class and read the soccer newspaper, I sat in the last row and slept or simply missed class. I also got into fights, from writing love letters to beautiful women to attempting to date and kiss beautiful women. I had a dozen or so red lights in my classes, and making up tests and retaking them was a common occurrence. I'm tired of studying astronomy with math and physics, distant galaxies too far away, stars that don't care about our existence, and the pain we live with when we live on this blue planet.

I was also almost discouraged from attending my junior year of college, my parents came to the school, and I ended up as a volunteer field nurse with second-class honors in the female department ......