Who knows the difference between ancient etiquette and modern etiquette?

As an ancient civilization with a long history, China is known as the "State of Etiquette". The word "etiquette" has long been used as a system of laws, regulations and moral education. In ancient Chinese, "Li" mainly contains three meanings:

The first is the hierarchy of slave society and feudal society in China, and a set of etiquette and ceremonies corresponding to it. For example, the Analects of Confucius is a government: "Yin Yin, its gains and losses are known." "Book of Rites Qu Lishang": "You can't be polite to Shu Ren and you can't punish the doctor."

Second, respect and courtesy. "Zuo Zhuan Xiang Gong Twenty-two Years": "The deacon is not polite to the widowed gentleman" (the deacon refers to the monarch of Jin State. Widowed gentleman: refers to Zheng).

Third, gifts, that is, gifts. Lu Jinshu's Biography: "And accept gifts, only with wine and venison."

"Etiquette" refers not only to appearance and appearance, but also to etiquette and ceremonies.

Mr. Liang Shiqiu, a modern writer, said in "On Autumn Room Rites": "Rites are a set of rules, which may be formulated by the government or passed down from generation to generation. They are basically established in nature, and after a long period of practice, they have become a set of universally recognized rules. "

Japan is also a country that pays attention to etiquette. Mr. Seihiko Matsuhei, a contemporary etiquette expert, thinks in the book Correct Etiquette published by Japan National News Agency: "Etiquette is a kind of life norm that people need to maintain normal social order in their daily lives ... Etiquette itself contains the morality and public morality that people should abide by in social life. Only when people don't stick to the superficial form and truly make themselves have this legitimate moral concept can we establish correct etiquette. " This reveals the essence of etiquette from the relationship between etiquette and morality.

From the description of etiquette in ancient and modern times, we can find that the so-called etiquette refers to the laws and regulations of an era in a broad sense; In a narrow sense, it refers to the sum total of various codes of conduct or norms that are formed due to the influence of historical traditions, customs, religious beliefs, trends of the times and other factors, recognized and observed by people, aiming at establishing a harmonious relationship, and conforming to the spirit and requirements of etiquette.

The above meanings of etiquette mainly express the following meanings:

First, etiquette is a code of conduct or norm. Etiquette shows certain rules and regulations. As the saying goes, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do", that is to say, if you want to enter a certain area, you must know something about the customs and behavior norms of people there and act according to such customs and norms, which is politeness. Etiquette and mischief are incompatible.

Second, etiquette rules or norms are established and recognized by people in a certain society. In social practice, etiquette is often manifested as unwritten rules and habits at first, and then gradually rises to be recognized by everyone, which can be accurately described and stipulated by language, words and actions, and becomes a code of conduct that people can follow and consciously learn and abide by.

Third, the purpose of paying attention to etiquette is to achieve mutual respect in social interaction, so as to achieve harmony between people. In modern society, etiquette can effectively show the education, manners and charm of the giver and the recipient. It reflects a person's cognitive level and respect for others and society, and it is an external expression of a person's knowledge, cultivation and value. Only on the premise of respecting others can a person get the respect of others, and only in this process of mutual respect can people gradually establish a harmonious relationship. Therefore, in a sense, observing etiquette is one of the important means and ways for people to gain freedom.

In interpersonal communication, etiquette can not only effectively show a person's upbringing, manners and charm, but also reflect a person's cognitive level, personal knowledge, self-cultivation and social value. Etiquette is a kind of potential capital, and if used properly, it will achieve remarkable results.

Etiquette is the general name of etiquette and ceremony, which refers to the behavior of self-discipline and respect for others completed in certain and established procedures and ways in interpersonal communication. It consists of a series of specific etiquette, and it is a systematic and complete process of expressing politeness. Etiquette is the external expression of a person's inner cultivation and quality, an art in interpersonal communication, a formal beauty and an external embodiment of the beauty of human mind.

Etiquette is manifested as a convention in social life, meeting the requirements of etiquette, maintaining the spirit of etiquette, guiding and coordinating people's lives and activities. Its manifestations include etiquette, politeness, appearance, ceremony, utensils, costumes, signs and so on.

From the perspective of personal cultivation, etiquette is the external expression of a person's inner cultivation and quality. Etiquette lies in the cognition and application of communicative etiquette.

From a moral point of view, etiquette is people's standard practice and code of conduct.

From the communication point of view, etiquette is a kind of mean art in interpersonal communication, and it can also be said to be a way of communication.

From the perspective of folklore, etiquette is a conventional form of respecting people in interpersonal communication, and it can also be said to be a customary practice of respecting people and being friendly to others. In short, etiquette is the established practice of treating people.

From the perspective of communication, etiquette is a communication skill in interpersonal communication.

First, the basic concept of etiquette:

Etiquette comes from French, which means a pass to the court. It is normal to go to court. After it was introduced into society, it became a passport for interpersonal communication. China refers to the sacrificial ceremony. Etiquette is established in human social interaction to show mutual respect. The behavior of * * * is formed in the process of continuous evolution of human society. For example, empty-handed, ancient border guards were armed to prevent foreigners from coming in. Later, due to the need of communication, when entering foreign territory, you must wave to the other side empty-handed, indicating that you have no weapons. This has evolved into the current wave ceremony, in which the other party confirms that it is empty-handed with one hand and turns into a handshake. The hat-taking ceremony comes from taking off the helmet, and the bow-bending ceremony comes from surrender and bending. Military salute means dazzling Jiang Mang (in ancient military parade, when passing in front of those celebrities, you should cover your forehead with your hands to show that their light is too dazzling).

A history of etiquette is a history of human civilization.

Second, the basic function of etiquette:

1. Communication: For example, a young man was in a hurry to go to Wangzhuang. He didn't know how far it was on the way, so he found a family on the roadside and asked, "Grandpa, how far is it to Wangzhuang?" The old man replied, "Rude." The young man thought it was a five-mile road, so he continued on his way. He didn't go far, but finally he reflected, so he went back and made amends to the old man. The old man told him that it's getting late and the road to Wangzhuang is still far away. It's better to rest in my humble abode for one night and go on the road tomorrow.

2. Coordination: Etiquette can resolve conflicts.

3. The first cause effect: that is to say, the first impression, it is impossible to accurately judge people in a short time when interacting with unfamiliar people, so the first cause effect of etiquette is particularly important, because good etiquette can often give people a good first impression.

4. Halo effect: For example, an experiment is divided into two groups. Specifically, this is the case. A portrait (towering forehead and deep eyes) is described by two groups. For the first group, this is a famous scholar, and for the second group, this is a criminal. The first group describes that the deep eyes contain the wisdom of the sky, and the towering forehead represents the spirit of climbing the peak forever; The second group described that when deep eyes represent yin, the towering forehead shows the determination to never repent, which is the so-called halo effect.

Third, the basic principles of etiquette

1. System as a whole: learn systematically and pay attention to the overall effect.

There was an important "one-mouthful phlegm incident" in the history of China. A pharmaceutical factory was on the verge of bankruptcy, and the government joined hands to introduce German investment for them. Just before the appointment, the German President visited the factory and the factory director accompanied him to visit the workshop. In the meantime, the director decided not to make an appointment because he couldn't hold his breath. His reason is simple. This is a pharmaceutical factory, which is related to people's lives. How can he spit everywhere? There is another example about the application of Wu Mi. Its success is only because I saw a piece of waste paper on the ground and picked it up in the trash can. The answer is also simple: only those who can see small things can do big things.

2. Fairness and reciprocity: Etiquette should not judge people by their appearance, and should not be chosen because of wealth, but should pay attention to equality and mutual respect of personality.

3. Respect time and discipline: What can a person who can't fulfill his promise to time fulfill?

4. Respect for customs and customs taboo principle:

Nixon spent a long time learning to use chopsticks before his visit to China, and he suddenly narrowed the distance.

For seafarers, the most taboo word is to turn over, but once in a restaurant, the fish on the table was half eaten. When they praised the waiter's fish, the waiter tried to turn it over for them, but this action immediately aroused disgust.

One difference between the East and the West is that China values inviting guests to restaurants the most, while westerners value eating in other people's homes the most. China people generally like to say, just eat, there is nothing to eat. Westerners say this is my wife's best. One major difference is that Nepalese people nod their heads to show their opposition and consent. An international student from China and his Niboer tutor went home for dinner, just as the tutor had something important to do, and his wife and students could not communicate in language. When she asked the student if he wanted it, he shook his head desperately, and she kept thinking that he didn't eat well at school.

5. The principle of harmony and moderation:

The ceremony should be appropriate. For example, if you go to a wedding, you should first dress up carefully to show your attention, but you should not overdo it, because the bride should be the most beautiful on the wedding day, and too much etiquette is an unfamiliar performance.