How did the ancients matchmaking? Ancient people on the blind date on those interesting things

How did the ancients get married? Since the circle of life is too small not easy to find the desired object, we might as well learn from the ancients the wisdom of blind dates.?

How the ancients kissed

Many people have the impression that the ancients' marriage is about "parents' orders, matchmakers' words", and the situation of blind marriage is not too much. The first is to make sure that you have a good understanding of the situation. But in the final analysis, the ancients also hope that their children will be able to obtain happiness, in the door on the basis of the family, and sometimes also to the children "open the back door". The first two are the same as the first two. In the pre-Qin period, in order to promote the development of productive forces, to solve the population problem, the state in the middle of spring every year in February to organize a matchmaking conference. Men who were 30 years old and had not yet married and women who were 20 years old and had not yet gotten married were allowed to participate. When they meet a match, they give each other peony flowers, which is both elegant and expresses their love.

Those who don't get the flowers won't be embarrassed to be rejected, and they'll just move on to the next person they're destined to meet, which is indeed a kind of wisdom.

And the men also sat on both sides of the river canal, placed in the upper reaches of the wine cups, wine cups downstream, stopping in front of whoever will take the cups and drink, to goblet way of attracting lovers. If the two partners fall in love, they stroll down the river together and break a willow to give it to each other. This was the Western Zhou Dynasty's mid-spring matchmaking ritual. This is an intergenerational continuation of the Western Zhou custom of matchmaking in the middle of spring, except that it was changed from giving peonies to folding willows.

The "Same Year Conference" is the day when the new scribes are announced, and every time this day comes, the young ladies of the powerful families in the capital travel in a low-profile manner to watch the new scribes drinking and gathering by the Qujiang River, and then report back to their parents at home to arrange for a marriage proposal. The marriage is an important event. As marriage is a big event, the Tang and Song dynasties and the "three matchmakers six appointments" written into the law, engaged in professional matchmaking is also more and more. Especially in the Song Dynasty, professional matchmakers became an important part of the matchmaking and marriage process for both men and women.

There are advantages and disadvantages to everything. Professional matchmakers, as a third party, although there are overcharging a certain party and embellishing the actual situation of a certain party, but it does give a certain promotion to the marriage of men and women. ? In the Song Dynasty, during the marriage stage, all interactions between men and women were mediated by the matchmaker to avoid the embarrassment of one party's refusal and the other's refusal.

At the stage of marriage, the man's family proposed to the woman's family verbally or in writing through a matchmaker. Such as Su Shi for the Sun Fu compiled marriage proposal Kai: "bridal veil early years, has been associated with the marriage of the Kun Di; dying white south of the wilderness, still think of the marriage of the children and grandchildren. Dare to rely on good matchmakers, to go to Gao Ma-tei". If the woman's family is interested, she will be given the opportunity to marry. If the woman's family is interested in the marriage, "the marriage ceremony will first be conducted by the matchmaker, who will send a straw post to the man's family", and the two families will ask for a divination or pray for a confession and then return the straw post to each other. The stage of "Na Ci" (纳币) was also introduced in the Song Dynasty. The stage of money, in the Song Dynasty, is also commonly known as betrothal or fixed post.

"The two families of the Volkswagen notification, choose a day to pass the post, each with a color liner plate, stability post sent over, before the conclusion.

The format of a Song wedding letter, as documented in the book The Story, Volume 10 and Hanmo Quanshu, was a customary way for a woman's family to receive a marriage contract. According to the custom, the woman's family, after accepting the bride price, had to return the bride price. In the Southern Song Dynasty, a letter from the Zheng Clan during the Jingding period, it mentions a reward for the matchmaker, "The matchmaker is given four pairs of gold striped yarn, and 200,000 official kozo". Also choose a day to send the hire, prepare goose wine, goat wine to invite the matchmaker to drink, sophisticated people also prepare "matchmaking box, section of the horse, tray, official kozo, bonus gift together with the benefit of the".

In the Song Dynasty, marrying a daughter cost more money than marrying a wife, which led some families to delay their daughters' marriages in a tight situation, leading to the emergence of "older women". This has led to the emergence of "older leftover women". In order to alleviate the social problem, some scholars would contribute money to subsidize the marriage of their daughters, and some officials, in view of the difficulty of marrying poor maidens in their districts, would help them to choose matches on behalf of temporary matchmakers. Some officials, in view of the difficulty of marrying off poor maidens in their districts, would help them choose a temporary matchmaker.

The Song Dynasty History records that Dou Yujun once paid for the marriage of "twenty-eight relatives, old friends and orphans who could not get married".

There was also a "matchmaking" custom in the Ming and Qing dynasties, where the matchmaker took the man to the woman's home, and the woman did not show up, observing the man's behavior in the boudoir. If the feeling is right, will come out to the male pouring tea; feel unsuitable, will not be out of the boudoir, people have been unspoken know that this marriage is not. ? Although the man regrets, but also can be in and out of the evidence, without losing dignity. It's wise to be able to resolve the awkwardness. The success of the blind date is actually a probability event, everyone has the right to choose, but also has the opportunity to be rejected.

Ancient people throughout the ages, with a sincere and serious attitude, with a subtle and skillful understanding, not only express their own feelings, but also to avoid unnecessary embarrassment and harm. Even when the relationship does not work, but also for each other to retain the decency and self-respect, sometimes can for others more others to consider a little, just can see the person's cultivation and wisdom in dealing with the world. The first is to make sure that you have a good understanding of how to use the Internet.

While our modern dating has no need to follow a variety of cumbersome etiquette, but can learn from the ancients in the dating etiquette in the connotation and wisdom, will help you in the dating to resolve the embarrassment, to help you become a high IQ people.