Why getting married is so troublesome

In more and more of China's first-tier cities, we can often meet people who have reached their prime but are still single. Indeed, marriage has long ceased to be a secular shackle, and more and more people will choose to be single in the future. The previous society is based on the family unit, the future will be based on the individual unit - ShuiMuRan Next | HanTaotao Source public number: we are all literary youth As a generation of only child, now it is more and more difficult to get married. What's so difficult about it? First of all, people of our generation are relatively self-centered and have strong personalities, making it difficult to accommodate and tolerate each other. Secondly, those who have been spoiled by their families since childhood are a bit lazy and are not willing to put too much time and energy into household chores. Also, the general status quo in big cities is that men don't lack sex and women don't lack money.

These factors make it increasingly difficult for men and women to agree. Especially in the first-tier cities, the increasing number of foreigners has led to the psychological superiority of the local boys who are slightly better off. Because most of their parents have prepared a house and car in advance, they don't have to work particularly hard to win at the starting line. The competitiveness of foreign boys is relatively poor, and their pressure is that if they settle in the first-tier cities to get married, they need to buy a house first, otherwise they will be picked on by the woman's family. At the same time, foreign girls also bring a lot of impact to local girls looking for a date. Some official statistics show that in first-tier cities, the proportion of single women is as high as 70% while that of single men is only 30%, which creates a serious imbalance between supply and demand. To make the simplest analogy, often when attending a party event, there will always be a yin and yang scene in the venue. So there is no shortage of girls around guys who are just a little bit okay. There may not be many women who meet their criteria for marriage, but there are quite a few girls who can be easily dated. Unlike in the past, when you held hands, you had to fall in love and then you had to get married. Sex is no longer a lack of resources, but he will only choose the right girl, the one he likes the most to marry. In the past, good looks might be exchanged for marrying a rich man, but now good looking girls are no longer a scarce resource. The girl is also the same to the future husband set a variety of rules and regulations: can not be too ugly, can not have no money, can not have no interest, can not cheat, can not not love me, can not treat me as a reproductive machine, can not let me take care of the housework, can not not give me to spend money, and so on. The standards for both men and women have gone through the roof.

But for the serious imbalance in the ratio of men to women, it's even harder for girls to find a suitable partner. Nowadays, most of the girls can support themselves by going to work. The family is in good condition, but also feel more free to live alone, no burden. If you are looking for a husband, instead of reducing the quality of life, you will feel that it is a loss, it is better not to find. Moreover, you have to face the household chores, children, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems, etc., think about it makes people look at the dust. The purpose of many women's financial independence is to avoid marrying a man they don't like. On the plus side, marriages nowadays tend to be more love-oriented, and it's more important for two people to have the **** same language and get along with each other. On the downside, such spiritual soul mates are harder to find and more selective than marriages based on money and material things. Even so, girls will put up a front of not settling for anything to do against their families even when they are past the age when they should be married. In addition, they see that many of their married friends are divorced, or not divorced but not as happy as they would like to be, and the high cost of time and money involved in having a child has seriously shaken their desire to get married.

These conflicting thoughts will keep many people sensibly in a wait-and-see, go-with-the-flow state. Some of them have already thought about it, and they think that staying well single is not a bad thing, and even let go of their mindset to date in style and have fun too. Not only is it difficult to get married, but it is also difficult to run a marriage. Long-term married life can not avoid the game between husband and wife, and even the game of the two families. One has to accommodate the other, and one has to be dominated by the other. A good situation is to take turns for each other. But if you can not do to accommodate each other, both have selfish ideas, do not stand in the other's point of view to consider it is very easy to go wrong. Cheating is also the most likely problem in a marriage. To put it bluntly, there is still a gap between the two people. Nowadays, people's pressure is generally higher, insecurity is stronger, resistance to stress is also very fragile, and the psychology is prone to some diseases, but can not get attention. If the other party can not understand, but also always harsh, coupled with external temptations, it is easy to derail. Now before getting married, everyone must consider a clear question: if the other half cheated, what will you do? Think clearly about this question before you get married. Because this has become an unavoidable social problem. In the environment where men don't lack sex and women don't lack money, marriage has become a more and more difficult thing. Extended reading: Zhihu question: why do many young people of marriageable age not want to get married? The following is extracted from the answer of the Zhihu author @Leng Zhe The reason is like this: one can live a good life too. In the past, when there was no washing machine, basically Sunday was a day to clean up the house and do laundry. Going to a restaurant was a luxury only available once a week, once a month or even once a year. We know that the amount of time it takes one person to cook for two people is significantly less than the sum of the time it takes two people to cook for themselves separately. The time it takes one person to do laundry for two people is also less than the sum of the time it takes two people to do laundry for themselves separately. Many things are similar. Thus, marriage increases the efficiency of labor, saves time, and greatly improves the quality of life for both people. Now it is different. You can eat at a restaurant, you have a washing machine to do your laundry, and you can hire an aunt to clean your house. Coupled with the trend of sexual openness, the improvement of quality of life by marriage is becoming more and more limited. The higher the income group the more so.