The five senses say new crosstalk lines

Role-playing: Head: (Ma Dong); Nose: (Dashan); Mouth: (Jian Zheng); Ear: (Zhou Wei); Eyes: (Liu Wei)

Xu Dong: Audience friends from all over the country, I will give you my five senses.

Qi: Happy New Year!

Eyes: I am Ma Dong's eyes. I wish everyone a bright smile!

Xu Dong: Hey, how happy my eyes are!

Ear: I'm Ma Dong's ear. I wish everyone all ears!

Xu Dong: Blessed are the big ears!

Mouth: I am Ma Dong's mouth. I wish everyone a smile!

Ma Dong: My mouth can talk.

Nose: I'm Ma Dong's nose. I wish you all a happy Spring Festival! L 1: Happy Spring Festival! )

Xu Dong: Hey, why did you change your foreign nose in my generation?

Nose: foreign noses are big. You can breathe happily!

Eyes, ears and mouth: (Laughter) Yes, you breathe happily!

X: What am I happy about? Please.

Eyes, nose, mouth and ears: What's the matter?

Ma Dong: I was drunk driving last night. The police caught me and my driver's license was impounded. What should I do?

Eyes: I didn't see it!

Ear: It has nothing to do with me!

Ma Dong: Stop! What's the matter? Once again, no one can escape, one by one. Come on, who says first? What about you? You! Eyes, you can see best. You go first.

Eyes (staring at ears): What am I talking about?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving!

Eyes (still staring at ears): Hey, did you drink and drive?

Xu: I said, can you look at me and say?

Eyes: I'm looking at you!

Xu Dong: Is this looking at me? I am here.

Eyes (turning to nose): Oh, there you are. Hey, hello.

Xu Dong: Hey, what are my eyes like?

Eyes (turning to the audience): You don't know, there is something wrong with Ma Dong's eyes.

X: What happened to my eyes?

Eyes: strabismus

Xu Dong: I squint?

Eyes: Not too old,

Xu Dong: When will it tilt?

Eyes: When he saw the woman, he tilted a little.

Xu Dong: Even if I squinted, you could see the police yesterday!

Eyes: It's a male policeman. I closed my eyes, hehe. ...

Xu: Hey, he's hiding.

Nose: Push it down.

Ma Dong: What did you say?

Nose: He is simply shirking!

Xu: Listen, listen, alas, this attitude of others, as a foreign nose, jumped on our faces not far from Wan Li. What spirit is this? This is the spirit ... put your nose on your face.

Nose: Hi. ...

Xu: Tell me about the nose.

Nose: What did I say?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving.

Nose: Did you drink and drive?

Ma Dong: You were there!

Nose: Alas, this is an internal affair of China people, so I won't participate, buddy.

Xu Dong: Hey, he's not involved now?

Nose: Everyone knows that Ma Dong has a problem with his nose.

X: What happened to my nose?

Nose: No holes.

Xu: You let everyone know that I am dead. I have eyes!

Nose: It's no use having eyes. I've been sneezing that day, Qiu! I don't know anything. I

Xu Dong: Hey, he's hiding, too. It doesn't matter. Let me ask this, ear!

Ear (mouth to mouth): Yesterday's Yanghe Daqu was not bad!

Mouth: looking for you

X: You, me and you. ...

Ears: Not Ma Dong's ears.

Ma Dong and Joel: Something is wrong!

X: I know what you mean, so you must say it.

Ear: What did you say?

Xu Dong: Let me tell you something!

Ear: What did you say louder?

Xu Dong: Let me tell you something!

Ear: Well, why don't you talk?

Xu: Did I speak?

Ear (to mouth): What are you talking about?

Xu Dong: Whose wallet?

Ear: mine!

Xu: Eh, you can hear it.

Ear: no ... what did you say?

Ma Dong: Here we go again. You, don't pretend not to hear.

Ear: Are you going to court tomorrow? What's the New Year's Day for?

Ma Dong: Are you serious?

Ear: You want a divorce? Why?

Xu Dong: I don't understand the word "meaning"?

Ear: The third party is Feng Gong? How much do you think Feng Gong hates you?

Xu Dong: I can't believe you can't hear clearly!

Ear: Are you going to marry Dong Qing after graduation?

Xu Dong: You are faking it!

Ear: Is Zhu Jun alive or dead?

X: Who are you?

Sui: I can't marry Xu!

X: What a mess!

Ear: Oh, my father-in-law is Bi Fujian!

Xu Dong: You go!

Xu: Mouth, you can't run away! Tell me.

Mouth: Isn't it just drunk driving?

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: I don't need to say it.

Xu Dong: Huh?

Mouth: Besides, everyone knows that there is something wrong with Ma Dong's mouth.

Ma Dong: Wait a minute. I admit that the three of them said I had a problem. I, uh, asked what I was doing. There is nothing wrong with my mouth.

Mouth: Yes, there must be something wrong with your mouth when you speak.

Xu Dong: Right?

Mouth: But as soon as you finish drinking-

Ma Dong: What's the matter?

Mouth: You just procrastinate (that is, you can't say clearly).

Xu Dong: I what?

Mouth: You just procrastinate (that is, you can't say clearly).

X: What did he say?

Ear: He said you couldn't speak clearly.

X: How do you know that?

Xu Dong: (to his mouth) You straighten your tongue. What happened last night? Make it clear

Mouth: Tuo Dou took off (directly) and ordered four things (here's the thing)! Several people on the island chopped the fish soup (Xu found several people to sit down last night), and after chopping, they went to various places to chop it off (after sitting down, they found a place to sit down). After chopping, I pushed the topic (after sitting down, someone brought it up). How about 8 o'clock (for a drink) and 8 o'clock (for a drink)? Who is afraid of who (who) knocks! When it's time to pawn (pour), take a cup of soybeans (everyone drinks a cup), bring a cup of beans (pour another cup), and the evil one will lose (drink and drink, everyone says goodbye), drive (drive), five-(shout-) be reasonable (hey, you stop), and when (stop), ......

Xu Dong: Am I? If my tongue is like this, the police will take it away if I don't drink. Look at the four of you. At the last minute, you all want to hide? How can we get this book back with your attitude? ...

Eyes: Hey, boss.

Ma Dong: Huh?

Eyes: Your attitude is wrong.

X: What's wrong with my attitude?

Eye: You have to tell the police.

Xu Dong: Well, what should I say?

Eyes: police uncle

Xu Dong: Uncle?

Eyes: It's our fault to drive after drinking.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Eye: But the responsibility is yours.

Ma Dong: Eh, how are the police responsible?

Eyes: We have bus lanes on the road.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Eyes: There is an Olympic special line.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Eye: Why not set up a special drinking line?

Ma Dong: Set up a drunk driving line?

Eyes: You are easy to manage.

Ma Dong: How to manage this?

Eyes: When you see a wobbly car coming, hurry (salute). Hey, drink, don't panic, please go, just get drunk!

Ma Dong: Why not just drink and drive?

Eye: Oh, no, it will cause new traffic jams.

Ma Dong: What should we do?

Eyes: divided into even and odd numbers.

X: There are even and odd numbers.

Eyes: one, three, five, white, two, four, six, beer.

Xu: Hey-that mixed drink can only leave on Sunday.

Eyes: Yes, it really isn't. We can also group.

Xu Dong: We can still divide into groups.

Eyes: Go for Erguotou on Tuesday and Wuliangye on Friday.

Xu Dong: Hey, people who drink Jinliufu can only leave on Saturday.

Eyes (patting Ma Dong on the shoulder): How clear is it?

Xu (hands off eyes): What a mess?

Nose: OK.

Xu Dong: What a great idea!

Nose (walks up to Ma Dong): Don't listen to him!

X: You can't listen to him.

Nose: That's what you have to say when you see a policeman.

X: What can I say?

Nose: Uncle Police.

Xu: Uncle Police ... Why did you call my uncle?

Nose: I was born abroad, nephew.

X: Yes, nephew. Nephew should be called uncle.

Nose: It's really our responsibility to drive after drinking.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: But the police speak the law.

Ma Dong: Law.

Nose: What about this law? English name is law.

Ma Dong: Law?

Nose: Of course, the law is greater than the law. How to use the law depends on your skills.

Ma Dong: You used to fish in Canada.

Nose: I said the law.

Ma Dong: Law?

Nose: The law is about evidence.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: The evidence is logical.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: Logical and reasonable.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Nose: The truth can be unknown.

X: Yes ... No, no, no.

Nose: Ah, the fact is that we have to find out.

Xu Dong: Hey, this sentence is right.

Nose: That's right. how do you say that in English?

X: Ah, yes ... Ah, I really can't tell the truth.

Nose: Look, look, you can't even understand-

X: Ah!

Nose: Then how do you make sense? !

Xu: Hey, I let this big nose turn around for me.

Ears: head, head

Xu Dong: Huh?

Ear: Never listen to him.

X: Don't listen to him.

Ear: Did the police say it was useful?

Xu Dong: It's no use!

Ear: You should emphasize the national conditions of China!

Ma Dong: Then how should I emphasize it?

Ear: You say so.

X: Ah!

Ear: Say that-the police are big.

Xu: The police are big shots ... What's wrong with you?

Ear: I'm definitely different.

X: Ah, what do you say?

Ear: That's what I said!

X: Ah!

Ear: The police listen to me very much. Don't be angry.

Xu Dong: Alas! Here we go.

Ear: This drunk driving has nothing to do with me. Our boss came to treat us and asked me to accompany him.

Red drops, yellow drops, beer drops, two boxes of Daqu.

Xu Dong: Here comes the wine!

Ear: No matter far or near, I am a guest. I'm not welcome.

Xu Dong: Yes!

Ear: Since we are sitting together-

Ma Dong: How about it?

Ear: I drank it all-

Xu Dong: Drink!

Police, I'm telling you-

Xu Dong: Hmm!

Ear: I can drink very much. I have bad luck today. Let me meet you, policeman. I'm telling you-

Xu Dong: Huh?

Ear: Anyone who has a dream is great-

Xu Dong: Wow!

Ear: Dare to fly a plane after drinking-

All right, all right, go, go and fly over! How irritating!

Mouth: I have something to say.

X: You have to talk about it.

Mouth: Don't come back with your driver's license if you have this attitude towards all three of them.

X: I'll never come back.

Mouth: You must tell the police.

X: What should I say?

Mouth: police master,

Ma Dong: The police always-

Mouth: What about my question-

Xu: Does your Excellency have a point? ! Comrade! Comrade!

Police ... police and ... comrades! Drunk driving must be our fault.

Ma Dong: Good attitude.

Mouth: But drinking and driving are two problems.

Ma Dong: Two questions.

Mouth: Don't talk about drunken problems.

Xu Dong: Isn't it ... eh?

Mouth: Tell me again why I am driving.

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Why should I drive?

Xu Dong: Huh?

Mouth: Because I want to go home.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why did you drive home?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because my family lives far away.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why does the family live far away?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because I bought a house in the suburbs.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why do you want to buy a house in the suburbs?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because the housing prices in the city are too expensive.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: Why is the house price too expensive?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because of the American subprime mortgage crisis.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Big mouth: Why is it a capital loan crisis?

Ma Dong: Why?

Mouth: Because of his economic depression.

Ma Dong: Yes.

Mouth: What about his economic recession? ...

Xu Dong: Why not wait? Wait, where do you want me to go? What is this? You are such a big mouth! Just talk about drunk driving!

Mouth: I can't say clearly about drunk driving.

Xu Dong: Right, right, right, you see? Push, hide! Let me tell you what the environment is now. Accountability, someone has to be responsible for something! You say, who is in charge?

Chorus (except Ma Dong): Head!

Xu: Ah, yes, I am responsible for leadership. Tell me who is mainly responsible for it!

Ears, eyes and nose: mouth!

Mouth: Huh? Why should I take the main responsibility?

Eyes: Drink. Drink it. If you don't drink that wine, can we drink it?

Ear: It's all your fault!

Mouth: Blame me me?

Ear: Hmm!

Mouth: Your ears are not soft. Can I have the last glass of white?

Ear: This is ... drinking is drinking. Let you blow when the police ask questions. What are you doing so hard?

Nose: Ah, yes!

Mouth: You are talking nonsense. What would I blow out if your foreign nose didn't breathe so well?

Eyes: Hmm!

Nose: Your eyes. If you had seen that policeman earlier, I would have bypassed him!

Eyes: The policeman who talks nonsense is not a woman and I won't make do with it!

#@%￥%@! @#￥%#￥##￥%@#￥! # & amp* & amp￥%……

Ma Dong: Stop it! What are you doing? Let's have a look. Is that so? You push me, I push you, that's it? Can you push it clean?

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: no!

Ma Dong: Can you completely solve the problem?

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: no!

Xu Dong: At the critical moment, you have to rely on me!

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: huh?

Xu Dong: I tell you, no one needs to go to the traffic team tomorrow!

Otorhinostomy: What's the matter?

Xu Dong: I gave that driver's license to the police.

Otolaryngology: Ah!

X: It's free!

Ears, eyes, nose and mouth: all pushed!

Extended data:

The New Theory of Five Senses is a crosstalk performed by Ma Dong, the son of crosstalk artist Ma Ji, and Wei Liu, Dashan, Zhou Wei and Jian Zheng at the 27th CCTV Spring Festival Evening on June 25th, 2009.

This cross talk is based on 1987, Ma Ji's masterpiece "The Five Senses Strive for Merit". Twenty-two years later, when Ma Ji died of illness for three years, Ma Ji's son brought his comic dialogue "A New Theory of Five Senses", which always opposed joining the Quyi circle and expressed his son's respect for his father.