The theory of sleeping in separate rooms is harmful. How many precious mothers are still being misled?

Children sleep with their parents when they are born to a certain stage. When children grow up, they will consider sleeping in separate rooms. Children need care and attention when they are young. It is natural to sleep next to your mother, but you can't sleep next to your parents all the time when you are old. One day, they must learn to sleep by themselves.

However, there is no unified conclusion about how old children should sleep in separate rooms with their parents, but there are many opinions and theories in real life.

On "sleeping in separate rooms"

Many articles on the internet point out that the later children sleep in separate rooms with their parents, the more likely they are to have precocious puberty, lack independence in personality and lack security. Children aged 6-7 at the latest must sleep in separate rooms with their parents, otherwise it is not conducive to their development.

There are also many examples in life. Parents usually let their children sleep by themselves when they are about 5 years old, and some parents let their children sleep by themselves when they are 2-3 years old. But many children don't want to sleep by themselves and often cry. In the middle of the night, they ran back to their mother's bed to sleep with her.

How old should children sleep by themselves?

In fact, there is no unified scientific regulation on how old children should sleep in separate rooms with their parents. Experts pointed out that the age of children sleeping in separate rooms should be comprehensively judged according to individual differences, and the statement that children sleeping in separate rooms with their parents in the future will lead to precocious puberty and lack of independence is only a rumor in life, and there is no empirical basis.

In Korea, 88% of children sleep with their parents before the age of 7;

In India, 93% of children aged 3 to 10 do not sleep in separate rooms with their parents;

In the United States, traditionally, children are allowed to sleep independently after birth. The method is to sleep in a separate room soon after the baby is born. In the United States, the trend of this practice is decreasing, but the number of parents and children sleeping is increasing.

A parent-child sleep research project in the United States followed up 205 white families from the third trimester to 18 years old, and compared the cognition, personality and behavior of children of different sleep ages, and found no consequences caused by parent-child sleep.

Benefits of parent-child sleep

Many authoritative experts in the United States pointed out that sleep is good for both parents and children. Sleeping with parents from an early age is more likely to bring children a sense of security and shape their independent personality, but the theory that parent-child sleep leads to precocious puberty and personality problems is unfounded.

1, giving children more sense of security.

Children who sleep with their parents since childhood can gain more security psychology. Sleep with parents at night, sleep soundly, children feel protected around, relax, and can give themselves to their mothers.

Children in childhood, due to innate instinctive reaction and young age, lack of understanding of the world and fear of the outside world. If children are left to sleep alone, they may be very sensitive to the outside world.

Especially in the dead of night, children will feel like being abandoned in the dark forest, facing danger, and they may be frightened at the slightest movement. Over time, children become timid, and the fear of sleeping independently in childhood will leave the foundation of insecurity.

When I was a child, the little boy who was the head of the family slept with his mother until he was 7 years old. Dad has been worried that the child can't learn to sleep by himself, but mother always thinks that the child is still young and can sleep in separate rooms in the future. Dad and mom made a bet that you ruined the child and will be in big trouble in the future.

Then one day, when I was seven and a half years old, my father deliberately vacated a room, which was beautifully decorated and covered with a comfortable little bed. First of all, children will sleep in small beds during the daytime nap. Slowly, they learn to sleep at night.

As long as the children are physically and mentally healthy, parents don't have to worry too much about sleeping in separate rooms with their children. If they really want their children to sleep by themselves, they can take a guiding way to let them naturally choose to sleep by themselves. At this time, it shows that the child's body and mind have developed well, suitable for sleeping by himself, and the child has a sense of security.

2. Make children more independent

Parents always think that letting children sleep by themselves helps to cultivate their independent personality, but the fact may be just the opposite. If children sleep in separate rooms, they may get used to relying on their parents for a long time because of fear.

The advantage of parent-child sleeping is that children grow up safely and healthily around their mothers, and their personality will develop strongly. As children grow up, they will naturally be independent and will not continue to rely on their mothers.

Because parents and children sleep together, children are not devastated by psychological tension and anxiety, and children do not need to rely on their mothers to drive away anxiety. He is independent, and naturally he is independent.

When Xiaoling was 5 years old, her mother began to force Xiaoling to sleep in a room. Xiaoling, who is separated from her mother's bed, is unwilling at bedtime. Xiaoling can't sleep at night. She was afraid to close her eyes when she was lying in bed. She always pays attention to what is happening outside. A little noise will make Xiaoling too scared to move or sleep.

Struggling to sleep, cats and mice outside, meowing outside the window, Xiaoling was so scared that she burst into tears … many nights. Later, when Xiaoling grew up, she always remembered the childhood scenes when she slept at night, and sometimes she had to turn on the light to fall asleep.

It turned out that Xiaoling's mother thought that cultivating Xiaoling to sleep independently from an early age could cultivate her independent personality. I didn't expect Xiaoling to miss sleeping with her mother when she was very old. Sleeping with her mother is a very happy thing in Xiaoling's mind, so that Xiaoling has been begging to sleep with her mother whenever she has the chance.

Whether to sleep in separate rooms or with parents should be judged according to the child's comprehensive situation. If the child is timid, sleeping in separate rooms will have a great influence on the child's sleep and personality. Parents should consider waiting until their children are older before sleeping in separate rooms. First, cultivate their courage, tell them that it is safe to sleep, and train them to understand society. Then sleep in separate rooms when the child realizes safety.

3. Cultivate feelings with parents

Parents can use this time when parents and children are sleeping to get closer to their children, enhance their feelings, communicate with their children and observe their sleep quality. When their babies sleep with their mothers, it is easier to listen to their mothers, and mothers can also take the opportunity to teach their babies some truth.

When children sleep in different rooms, the intimate communication between mother and children will be reduced. Parents should cherish the time when parents and children sleep, which is a rare time to live in harmony with their babies.

As long as the child's age is not particularly large, it is good for the child's physical and mental development. Parents can flexibly grasp the time of sleeping in separate rooms with their children according to their various situations. There is no need to strictly limit the age limit, let alone listen to online rumors.

Every child's growth, family environment and parent-child relationship are different. Sleeping in separate rooms is not only related to the age of children, but also related to some comprehensive factors, so it is best to make a natural transition. At present, there is no authoritative study that children sleep well in separate rooms with their parents before a few years old, and sleeping in separate rooms will not affect precocious puberty and personality cognition in the future.

Before children sleep in separate rooms, parents had better let their children feel that it is safe to sleep independently, and don't let their children feel scared because of sleeping in separate rooms, which will affect their physical and mental health and development. Children themselves are smart and lively, whether they sleep in separate rooms or with their parents, parents should make rational and comprehensive judgments.