What is the meaning of "Three Obediences and Four Virtues" in ancient times?

Mr. Nan Huai Jin: The connotation of "Three Obedience and Four Virtues" does not mean that women are being oppressed

The connotation of "Three Obedience and Four Virtues" does not mean that women are being oppressed

This article is excerpted from the "The Original University of Wealth"

Well, let's just talk about the women's issues in the "Confucius Store" that we were trying to defeat in the past! At the time of the May Fourth Movement, those who were engaged in the women's movement shouted "down" whenever they heard that women should have the "Three Obediences" and the "Four Virtues," and they blindly blamed the "Confucius Store" for the problems of women. The "Confucius store" to go. In fact, this is all out of the "Rites of Passage" in the "Rites of Passage" on the record. Moreover, the connotation of the "Three Obediences" and the "Four Virtues" does not mean that women are despised or oppressed. What is wrong with the so-called "three subordinates", that is, "one follows one's father at home, one follows one's husband when one marries, and one follows one's son when one's husband dies (or when one grows old)"? You change the word "from" into the popular legal terminology nowadays, become "burden" or "responsible" to think about it, that is really respect for women ah! Before a woman gets married, her parents should bear the burden of her life and be responsible for her upbringing, what's wrong with that? What is wrong with a man being the husband of a married woman who is responsible for all of her living expenses and her safety after she is married? Unless it is the other way around, is it right for a man to live off his wife? When the husband dies, of course the wife's own parents are old and don't rely on their children to take care of them, so what happens?

Of course! Nowadays, you can rely on the social welfare provided by the government, but really a man or a good son or daughter, to put the feelings and responsibilities of the parents' old age on the society is a little bit too much, right? Especially in the parents and children's feelings, I'm afraid it is not the flavor! It is a good thing to fight for the welfare of others and the general public, but if it is only for oneself, then it is not the original intention of "democracy", but only the individual freedom (selfishness) of what it is! Maybe I am wrong again! However, if you think about the historical society of the past, 3,000 years ago, education was not widespread, especially for women. And basically, ancient times was an ancient agricultural economy that relied entirely on human labor, and women were even less capable of earning a living freely and independently, so if they didn't follow their father at home, who else would they follow? When they got married, of course, there was the need to obtain a long-term meal ticket, so what if they did not follow their husbands? As for the death of the husband and the son, the fact is obvious, so let's not dwell on it. But we also need to know that when the husband dies and the son is small, the mother has to take on the duties of the father and raise the children to adulthood, so just imagine who is actually from whom? If you interpret the word "從" only as meaning "to obey" or "to follow blindly", then you, a Chinese, have not yet understood the connotation of the Chinese character, and you need to go back and read it again in the Chinese version of "孔夫子師母", which is the name of Confucius' teacher and mother. You need to go back and learn more from "Confucius' teacher mother"!

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Speaking of the "four virtues" of "women's virtue, women's speech, women's appearance, women's work", this is the goal of education about women's personality and character development, not only for women, but also men need to have the same kind of upbringing. When a person's character is in question, regardless of whether he or she is a man or a woman, he or she is, of course, unpopular. Rude speech, meanness, inappropriate language, etc., which is commonly known as lack of moral character, is of course not acceptable. As for the item of "women's appearance", don't misunderstand that it is a beauty contest. The ancient text is abbreviated, and the so-called "appearance" refers to the usual "grooming" and neatness, so as not to pretend to be flirtatious and make a laughing stock for others. "In the past, in some books, the word "kung" was read as "hong" (red), which referred to the skill of embroidery, dressmaking and fine weaving. Especially in rural societies where the economy was mainly agricultural in the past, this was even more important in enriching the family economy, and I think that this item in the ancient "four virtues" of women is even more important for women in modern and future societies. Briefly, more than twenty years ago, the daughter of a friend of mine graduated from university and married a young overseas Chinese man. Before they left the country, they were ordered by their parents to say goodbye to me. I said to my friend's daughter, "The first and most important thing you should do when you go abroad is to study. I am not asking you to study for a doctorate or a master's degree, but I want you to learn a skill that will enable you to earn a living independently, such as accounting, which is good for women in general. Because nowadays, especially in the future when the marriage system is about to go bankrupt, love is no match for bread and rice. Therefore, modern women must learn a professional independent living skill from childhood in order to protect themselves and their relationship with their husband and wife, which is the importance of "women's skills". This young lady did as I said, and she lived up to her expectations and expectations.

In an ancient society dominated by an agricultural economy, although it was not explicitly stated by the government, it was a natural custom to educate young boys and girls, especially in the area of "women's work," which had long been a matter of course. To make a long story short, let's just cite a poem by the Southern Song poet Fan Chengda called "Tianjia", which can present a real picture of social education in rural areas of Jiangnan, the poem says:

Day out of the field at night to perform hemp,

Villages of children are in charge of their own families.

The children and grandchildren are not yet ready for plowing and weaving,

and they also learn to plant melons in the shade of the mulberry tree.

Another example is Zeng Guofan, a famous minister at the end of the Qing Dynasty, who became such a big official, but had very strict rules for his daughters-in-law about how much hemp (the raw material for making cloth) they had to perform every day, how much cloth they had to weave or how much they had to make the soles of their shoes. The rest of the examples are too numerous to mention.