What are the misunderstandings of parents in educating their children?

In today's society, many parents often make mistakes when educating their children. In order to correct parents' mistakes in educating their children. The following is the information I shared with your parents about their misconceptions about educating their children. I hope I can help you!

The wrong idea of parents educating their children.

First, let the nanny or grandparents take care of the children.

Many parents in China believe that as long as their children are watched by others, their lives will not be in danger. In fact, from birth, children need to communicate with others. You can communicate without talking. Skin contact, hugs, caring eyes, talk to him. Children need constant communication, and they will become smarter and feel safe in love. Children in many of our families grow up unattended. The brain will become weird and dull. And then always lack the sense of security of love. Pursuing the love lost in childhood but gone forever in infancy. And the nanny has no close relationship with grandparents and children. They only take good care of him and meet his food and clothing needs. They don't care if it's right. Maybe they don't know what kind of education is right, even many young parents don't know it themselves, so they don't know what love is, so they turn love into harm!

For example, after the child falls, grandma will quickly help the child up, and grandpa will scold:? It's all your fault! You broke my baby! ? This kind of education cultivates children's sense of shirking: everything is someone else's fault, and we don't look for reasons from ourselves.

Second, treat children as a tool to show off.

On the one hand, China people love face, on the other hand, they want to encourage their children to make progress. It is often said that you see how hard their children work and how good their grades are. What prize did he win? This comparison is the most unacceptable. And often say it in front of many people. It's not that the child doesn't want to do well. Is it really yours? Genes? There are too many questions. Every time I compare my child with others, it only brings him more dissatisfaction and pain, which doesn't help anything.

This comparison and competition also make it difficult for people's organizations in China to cooperate harmoniously. Like to fight with each other. For people with strong ability, they are not admired, but jealous, and should be pulled down. Teachers in schools add fuel to the fire, and the educational concepts of parents and teachers need to be revised quickly. Otherwise, China people's teamwork will never be as good as others.

Children are not your property or your capital. He is the continuation of your life, and you are responsible for him! Children can't be used to save face, which will only hurt children psychologically.

For example, when parents take their children to the supermarket, the children will not leave when they see their favorite toys, and even the parents will cry if they don't buy them. At this time, parents will feel embarrassed. Don't cry, little ancestor, it's not enough to buy it for you! ? Look at the result: the child understands the view that he can get everything he wants as long as he cries, whether it is right or wrong. Where is the root cause? By the way, parents' face is that they are afraid that their children will lose face when they cry, so there is no principle. Why not? Ask him: Baby, why do you want this toy? If it is reasonable, praise him and buy him. If it is unreasonable, tell him the reason. That's all.

Third, do not respect children's privacy and rights.

Many parents hold the traditional idea that their children are their parents'. This misconception that children are not treated as individuals with complete rights has led to many adverse consequences for individuals and society. Parents should knock on the door before entering their children's room. Children should be allowed to move or use their things. Any decision involving children should be discussed with them first. Don't read your child's diary or privacy at will. We should respect all the rights of a child and treat him as an adult. This aspect starts with changing diapers at birth. Before changing diapers, kindly tell him to change diapers, apologize to him and ask him to be patient. Our society lacks this spirit of respect. The concept that leads to the lack of service and respect in society. People who are not respected will never know how to respect others in the future.

Fourth, mold the child into the direction he wants.

Many parents pin their lifelong regrets on their children. Always force children to take the path they think is right. Even if the child doesn't fit or like it. For example, learning the piano and going abroad. Under this pressure, the family becomes unhappy. The happy time between parents and children turned into a struggle. Sacrifice the harmonious relationship between parents and children and pursue some inexplicable and not necessarily correct parents' ideals. When children grow up, they recall their childhood, full of unpleasant memories. You know, children's shoulders are tender, how can they bear your great trust. What parents need to do is to teach him what is right and wrong, let him grow physically and mentally, and cultivate his sound personality. Besides, you need to care about him and support him! Besides, do you believe he won't do it?

Five, the school performance as an indicator of all achievements.

Many parents foolishly think that school performance represents everything. There are two goals in life, one is the college entrance examination and the other is studying abroad. The goal is clear. The rest of parents' work is to lure bitter meat to beg with all threats and interests to achieve this goal. This outdated concept left over from the imperial examination era is still deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. In fact, the facts are in front of us. Now many people who come back from abroad can't find jobs. Many people in Peking University and Tsinghua can only make ends meet now. Achievement in school is not everything. On the contrary, comprehensive ability, vitality, perseverance and personality are the important factors that affect their life.

6. I think getting up early is good, but sleeping is lazy.

Growing children need enough sleep. At present, many children get up at 6 o'clock. Sleep less than 8 hours a day. The whole country is still preaching the wrong idea that getting up early is the only way to keep healthy. Lack of sleep will affect development. Brain power will decline. Our children need enough sleep. It is against the law for educators to let children study on weekends or stay up late, which should be prohibited by strict legal measures. Strictly prevent academic performance from coming first, which exceeds the child's physical and mental health and perfect personality, and exceeds everything he actually needs!

Seven, think that children should not do housework but should only study.

According to the survey of sociologists, children who do housework at home will live a happier life in the future. Maybe it's because I'm good at handling things. So it is unlikely that there will be setbacks when you grow up. Or more able to face setbacks. China's parents deprived their children of all opportunities to do housework in order to let them study. Deprived him of the opportunity to study, work, share responsibility and face problems. Parents in China should let their children fully share the housework. Schools should reduce their homework in an all-round way. It is enough to train a child not to take exams, to cultivate his physical and mental health, to be reasonable and to be a useful person to society. There is no need to study for the sake of learning.

Eight, lack of sense of humor and relaxed side.

Perhaps because of various pressures, the basic atmosphere of the family is to force children to study. Parents lost their sense of humor and relaxed because of the pressure of life. Everything is forced and driven. Parents or couples in this lack of relaxed humor atmosphere, a small setback will detonate the conflict.

Nine, think that parents' love can be an excuse for any unreasonable demands on children.

Between men and women, love is not an excuse to do everything. What many parents often say to their children: We do this because we love you, not for your own good. I want to use this sentence to block my child's rebuttal. This is ridiculous. Unreasonable demands are unreasonable. Don't drag love into it as a shield. Parents' demands should be reasonable in order to convince their children.

Ten, think that raising children is a hard duty rather than enjoyment.

China's parents, after traditional education, are used to taking raising children as a hard responsibility. Because of this kind of bitterness, it is often implied or expressed that children should repay and be filial. A more correct attitude is that raising children is a kind of enjoyment given by God. You should enjoy your time with your children. Enjoy watching him grow up.

Parents educate their children about correct concepts.

Viewpoint 1: The most important thing in family education is that parents should have correct concepts and mentality.

Family education has never been a panacea that can be completely replicated. Many times, when we feel that there is a problem, we like to ask questions everywhere, but we often forget to ask ourselves, forget to calm down and talk to ourselves and discuss the root of the problem with our families.

There are 1000 children and 1000 educational methods. There is no best education method, only the most suitable one. Successful education means teaching students in accordance with their aptitude. We often say? Marriage is like shoes? Family education is the same, only children know whether it is good or not, only children have the right to speak, and we often deprive children of the right to speak.

Good family education needs good parent-child relationship. Good parent-child relationship is the foundation of all family education. And a good parent-child relationship must also have a good family culture as the cornerstone. The construction of family culture goes far beyond the specific methods of family education. The creation of family culture comes from sincere beliefs and words and deeds, and words and deeds must be better than words and deeds. Moisturize things silently? Is the most useful method.

A good family education needs a correct view and mentality. What we want to cultivate is an independent and mature individual who adapts to the society, not just a child who is admitted to the university with excellent results. Be sure to avoid comparing your child with other children. No one can stand comparison, and neither can we. Cherish the opportunity to accompany children to grow up, accept children sincerely and appreciate them sincerely. Remember? Sincerely? These two words are not just appreciation as an educational means. When you are truly proud of your children, your children will truly become your pride, not necessarily your academic performance. ? Do you want to be a champion? It is absolutely true.

A good tutor needs cooperation, not confrontation. The so-called cooperation does not unilaterally require children to cooperate, but parents should treat their children as collaborators to solve the problems and problems they face, rather than treating them as troublemakers and problems.

Viewpoint 2: Family education must be guided in advance and prepared for a rainy day, not blocked by soldiers. Seeing the children is just a helpless temporary measure.

As parents, educating children should be far-sighted, starting from the early stage of children's cognition, starting from the little things in life, guiding children to form correct concepts and behaviors in advance, and constantly strengthening them, and gradually forming a correct outlook on life, a good way of thinking and good behavior habits, so that these children can accompany them through the journey of life. If you want what you want, you must plant what you want. First of all, parents must seriously think about what is the most important and what is necessary in life. Then, they should educate their children around these things and stick to it to the end, free from external influences.

How can parents have foresight? Don't look outside for answers, but look back at your childhood, adolescence and youth, think carefully about your strengths and weaknesses, personality and the gains and losses of various behaviors, and think carefully about how much all this has affected your life today, and then you will come to a conclusion. Because children have parents' blood and genes, and heredity is a very powerful force, children inherit not only intelligence, but also personality and even behavior. Although times have changed, human nature has changed little. How did you feel those days? Children will feel the same way. What emotional support did you need in those days? So are your children. Looking back, you will understand that children are close to each other.

Viewpoint 3: Good behavior habits need self-control to ensure.

Self-control is the basis of all good habits, but the most difficult thing for people is self-control.

There are many ways to train self-control, but we think the most important thing is to obey the rules. We believe that in the current society, people who abide by the rules may suffer losses, but they must not suffer big losses. People who don't follow the rules may take advantage, but they may also suffer big losses. The premise of obeying the rules is that there are rules to follow. There is no doubt that some rules in the family must be observed, such as rules on moral health and physical health. Some rules should be formulated with children, and then parents and children should abide by the agreement together and take the lead in observing the agreement, so that children can learn to abide by the rules and learn to control themselves in a subtle way.

Viewpoint 4: Respect children, cultivate children's awareness of self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love, and let children have an inner upward force.

Parents should treat their children as adults with independent personality, respect their reasonable wishes, give them certain autonomy, and cultivate their self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love through their self-management.

Respecting children's right to decide and choose independently can train children's critical thinking ability, especially their ability to distinguish right from wrong, learn to analyze things, learn to make judgments and be an independent person. It will be very hard to educate children in this way. It will be a headache for children to have their own opinions and not listen to their parents, but it will be of great benefit. First of all, it can prevent adolescence from only listening to friends and not distinguishing right from wrong. Secondly, distinguishing right from wrong is of great benefit to his later life and work. Remember, the purpose of our education is to cultivate an adult with healthy mind and wisdom, not a child who is always under our protection and always needs our help.

How should parents cultivate their children's correct view of money?

Money can't make a good child. Now a family has only one child, and the child is responsive. Our unconditional satisfaction is only because of our guilt and doting on our children, and we always want to compensate them. After a long time, children feel that they have the right to enjoy such treatment, and they deserve it. However, the payment of money is not proportional to the child's quality and good moral character, which will only increase the child's arrogance and arrogance.

A good boy doesn't need extravagant money decoration and money creation, but his heart is full of unrealistic desires and imbalances, less temptation of money, more care and care, and a space for his healthy growth.

Let children know the source of money. Many parents blindly satisfy their children, but never tell them how hard they work to make money. In the eyes of children, those bills are all in the money bag and easy to get. In fact, let children know more about their work, and even take them to the place of work to see what they are doing every day, so that they can get money to support themselves.

Tell your children with your own actions that only by paying can you get something, and you can get money. You should cherish the hard-won money and you can't spend it if you want.

Give children the opportunity to be masters of their own affairs. It is difficult to earn money, but easy to spend money. It's easier said than done. In fact, children don't understand at all. Give them proper opportunities to be in power, let them appreciate life, record their daily expenses in a small account book, see how much money they can save in a month, and truly understand the meaning of money.

Children love to spend money because they don't know what money is and how to get it. Parents don't have correct guidance and will only be blindly satisfied. When a child forms a habit and wants to correct it but can't, it's really too late to regret it.

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