What are the wrong educational concepts that lead to children's uncooperative?

Parental education is closely related to the formation of children's life concept and the future life path. As a parent, your family education concept will lead to your corresponding behavior, your behavior will directly affect the formation of your child's outlook on life, and the concept formed by your child will indirectly lead to his behavior.

The wrong concept of family education will make children form a negative outlook on life, leading to children becoming "abandoned children" and forming a vicious circle. Parents usually have the following six wrong educational concepts that lead their children to become "waste children":

Myth 1: I take full responsibility for my child's behavior. Results: This concept led parents to intervene and guide their children how to deal with the relationship with others, what to do and what not to do. If you interfere for a long time, the child may come to the conclusion: "I must have something wrong." Because my parents always tell me what to do and what not to do. Whether everything I do is correct or not needs the approval of others. This concept will also make it difficult for children to stand on their own feet and lack judgment on things.

Myth 2: I want to use the standards of adults to ask my children. Results: under the influence of this family education concept, the children came to some conclusions: I must have a problem; I can't do anything well; What else should I care about? There must be something wrong with my own appearance; My feelings are not important; I can't believe how I feel. Children form this concept because what they experience from their parents' behavior towards themselves is "finiteness", not infinite possibilities.

Myth 3: Children can't be trusted. Results: If children always hear their parents say to themselves, "I don't believe you can do it …" or see a feeling of lack of trust in their parents' behavior, then they will sum up my untrustworthy thoughts. I can't decide what is best for me. If no one tells me what to do, I will probably make a mess of things.

Myth 4: My job is to make children achieve certain results. Results: The idea of making children "aware" of something gave them the most negative outlook on life. The idea behind it is that my job is to finish one thing and get a result. Another idea that accompanies this idea is that a successful parent will make his children obey him. Many parents regard cultivating an obedient child as their greatest achievement and praise their "work".

Please think carefully: what kind of thoughts make your children always obedient, never talk back and never bother their parents? Hidden behind the "perfect" good boy are two concepts: what I want is not important; I'm not important at all.

Myth 5: I have power. Results: This idea is quite common among parents, and its subtext is that parents have the right to decide what their children's future life should be like. Parents with this educational concept often try to control their children's behaviors and concepts, and the result of doing so is that children eventually form a negative, inferior and negative outlook on life. For example: I have no ability to handle anything; There must be something wrong with me. Every idea we have comes from summing up and explaining our own experiences.

We will unconsciously add some subjective assumptions in the process of summing up things, but our summary and judgment of things often have personal cognitive bias and are not absolutely correct. In this case, it is completely possible and realizable to change the ideas we have formed. Negative outlook on life is the internal psychological factor for children to become "useless children"

It can be said that the concept formed in the process of children's growth may affect the healthy development of children throughout their lives. The best way to break this vicious circle is that parents should first recognize these wrong family education concepts, actively seek changes, and help children establish a positive, healthy and confident life concept.