Ma Sanli's monologue "Eating Dumplings" lines

Saying such a monologue. Why don't you call it storytelling? Because you can listen to a story without laughing, but you have to laugh when you listen to a comedy. But if you don't want to laugh, I can't help it.

This is not a current story, it is from the Qing Dynasty. What year was it? The man said: no this year ah?

This is the first time I've seen this in a long time, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea!

This was in Jining, Shandong Province. There is such a family of rich people, the family has four sons, although they are brothers, but this brother and four temperament is not the same. The oldest loyal; second honest; only the oldest three to be more treacherous, to be more slippery more slippery, a little bit of loss do not eat, make friends with people do not pay him, simply porcelain rooster, iron cranes, glass rats glazed cats, dry, hit him with a hair on the body can not be plucked down! This old four which, not only loyal and honest and also do not like to talk. He looked down on the old three all kinds of behavior, others talk to him or answer two sentences, the old three to ask him what he is, he is "not", "yes", "hum". The day long which, the two people will be more opposed to the old three which, just call him a fool; as a child a piece of study is ice and charcoal different furnace, big more can't get to a piece of it!

This year was the year of the big competition, to go to the capital to catch the examination. His father chose a good day and asked them to leave. In the first night of the departure, Lao San was not sleep. Thought: can not take the fool to go, on his this kind of angry energy, what is the matter of a three-know, say nothing can not ask him to go. On the second day, he discussed with the oldest two: "Big brother, second brother, we don't need to take the oldest four to go to the examination." The oldest heard, "Why?" The oldest said, "He's uneducated and won't win." "Then you don't have to care about him. If he doesn't win, he can come back again, and it won't cost you any money; if you want to go, all four of you will go, if you don't, you won't." The oldest two also advocated this. The oldest three is a person, this is called arm twisting the big leg to go. And then think of bad ideas, and then think of a method; after eating the meal rushed to go, his father personally sent out the door, brothers on the horse just about to go, the oldest three to stop: "big brother, second brother, we just go wow?" The oldest said: "What else is going on?" "Why are we going to Beijing?" "To take the exams." "What are we going to do in the exam room?" "To write an essay." "Still, how can he write without learning?" "What about you?" "I said ah, now we do a poem, we brother and sister four each line, to say on this poem to follow on Beijing, to even a poem. The oldest said, "I'm the eldest brother, I'll go first: "Go out and saddle up." The second said, "Get on the horse and take the whip." The third said, "Who's going to win? --It's your turn." Lao Si said, "Let's!" The third said, "Say it?" "It's over." "Why did you say only one word?" The oldest said, "Yes, don't look at his one word, but it can control our fifteen words." The oldest said, "Does it matter?" "Yes, he went out and put on the saddle, got on the horse and took the whip, you ask, who can win this trip? He said 'we', yes, it's him, let's go." A urge to go, go. The old three this angry ah!

Brother and sister four are going forward, saw a funeral, the old three look, line, quickly a horse: "Appeal! --Big brother, second brother, we went out to meet a funeral, go out to meet the coffin can be rich, let's take this as the theme, one person to do a line of poetry, big brother you say first." The oldest said, "Good, listen to me, the mountain village bumped into a coffin." The second said, "Many people carried him." The third said, "He was carried to the cemetery." The fourth said, "Buried!" "Tell me!" "It's over." "Brother, why did he say another word?" The oldest said, "Yes, the coffin is in the graveyard, so why don't we bury it?" The oldest three said, "How is it?" Boss said, "What's up? Let's go!" Then let's go.

And go forward, a village and bumped into a marrying a daughter-in-law, in front of the flag gong umbrella fan, behind a sedan chair, the oldest three a strangled horse: "Appeal! --Big brother, second brother, look at this bridegroom." The oldest said, "Make a poem with this as the theme, one line each." The third said, "That's your idea." The boss said, "Nonsense. If I didn't come up with this idea, you would have come up with this one too! I said, "I ran into a sedan chair on my way out of the village." The second said, "The gong is in front of us." The third said, "Relatives and friends are celebrating." The fourth said, "Laugh!" "Say it!" "It's over." "Brother, why did he say another word?" The oldest said, "Yes, if you don't laugh when you get married, why do you cry?" The oldest three said, "How about which ...... that ...... just go." The oldest three this gas ah!

And go forward, far away saw an ancient temple. Old three a strangle horse: "Phew! -- Big brother, second brother, you see this temple." The oldest said: "Do not nonsense, each person a sentence, I said first, far away from the ancient temple within the monk." The second says, "There's a bell hanging upside down." He's seen the bell tower. The third said, "Hit it 108 times." Old Four says, "Buzz!" Old Three says, "Another word for you?" The oldest said, "Yeah, isn't playing the bell buzzing ...... not 108 strokes, but 216 strokes is also buzzing." The second said: "Sensei nonsense, go."

2007-9-11 21:46 Reply 222.133.107.*2 floor and go forward, the sun has slanted to the west, in front of the county came to a city, to the moat here there is a bridge, this bridge is a wooden bridge. There is a Mr. Lost Eye wants to cross the bridge, take the horse pole a try, the bridge is too narrow, hair over and dare not cross. The oldest three said, "Mr. First Eye crossing the river, we also do a poem." The oldest said: "Okay! Far from seeing the one-tree bridge." The second said: "This side walks and swings over there." The third said, "Mr. Lost Eye doesn't dare to cross." The fourth said, "Go around!" Old One said, "Let's go around too."

When we entered the city, there was a store on the south side of the street, and on this side of the white wall was written "An Residence for Merchants" and on that side was written "A House for Eunuchs". Lao San said: "Don't go, let's stay in the store." We went to the store and found three rooms. We hadn't eaten yet, so we ordered some food. After eating, the boss said, "Let's go to bed early, we still have to travel tomorrow." The oldest three did not sleep all night, thinking: this fool always say a word, big brother still say he is right, this thing how angry it. If this fight here to Beijing, my stomach will not be angry in half ah. Why don't you think of an idea to starve the fool back. He came up with a plan. The next morning, he saw that it was raining, and deservedly so! Lao San this happy ah, quickly called the store mate: "You go to buy us something to go, buy it two pounds of beef, three pounds of white flour, buy two zucchini, buy onions, buy garlic, buy oil, buy salt, buy firewood, pouring water. This is two taels of silver, left over from buying things for you." "Thank you." The little fellow bought the meat in a short while. He hurriedly asked the fellow to help him chop up the meat, make the stuffing, and make the noodles. Then he called the three brothers, "Big brother, second brother, old four, it's getting late, get up." The oldest said, "Good, good, let's hurry to pack." The oldest three said, "I can't go, it's raining outside! Big brother, second brother, let's have a cloudy day and eat dumplings." The oldest said, "That's a lot of trouble." The oldest said, "No trouble, the noodles are ready, the filling is ready, and I gave you two taels of silver to buy the stuff. I won't ask you for any more." The oldest thought, he is not usually such a generous person where? How do you know that he is holding back the hunger of the oldest four which. The three brothers washed their faces and rinsed their mouths. The oldest three spoke up and said: "We are young masters at home, tea to stretch out our hands, food to open our mouths; outside, we need to eat, so we do it. This is my idea: the one who puts rice on the table will eat, and the one who adds water will drink soup. Now that the noodles have been made and the stuffing is ready, it's just a matter of pulling out the ingredients, rolling out the skin, cooking, wrapping, fishing, and burning the fire. The four of us are divided into four, what do you do, big brother?" The eldest said, "I'll pull out the ingredients and roll out the skin." The second said, "I cook, I fish." The third said, "I wrap, I burn the fire. Where's Lao Si?" "Eat!" "Eat, eat, you still say one word!" He said, "It would be strange for me to let you eat. There are a lot of people to do the work, a while dumplings, fishing out so two big iron pots, chopsticks, dishes are set up. The four sides of a person sitting on one side, the eldest said: "I can really hungry, I can eat first." The oldest said, "Wait a while! Is this dumpling for nothing?" The boss said in his heart: I knew he didn't have such good intentions. "It's only two taels of silver. I'll give it to you." The oldest three said: "No, you think wrong, not only do not want, playing today until Beijing every day to eat dumplings, but also told you every day is I give money. But there is a section, I can have a condition." "What condition?" "Starting today, we are eating, drinking, sleeping, moving, sitting, lying down, walking, all have to do poetry. Lao Si, you can understand, this time we call this a new poem, not limited to a few words, as long as it rhymes." Big brother said, "Seven words count." The second brother said, "Five words will do as long as they rhyme; I say four words will do, and if you want to say three words, you'll be considered to have said it." The oldest said, "I'll go first." The oldest said, "Don't be busy, I haven't finished yet! As you can see, there is no limit to the number of words in a poem, but there is a limit to the number of words in my dumplings; we have one word for one dumpling. For example, if my elder brother says seven words, he will eat seven dumplings; if my second brother says five words, he will eat five. If you say six words, you eat six. Say it." The oldest heard: this is to hold back the hunger of the oldest four ah. Originally, he said one word together, and one word for one dumpling would not starve him! The oldest wanted to take the lead as an older brother, so he said, "We're eating, we're trick-or-treating, what kind of poem are we talking about? What kind of poem is that? Let's eat." The third said, "If we don't talk, no one can eat. I'll set the table first." The second said, "Big brother, you can say it then." The oldest said, "Then what? Is he that big to eat one dumpling?" The second said, "Brother, don't worry, we won't say more. We have enough left for him." The oldest said, "What's the topic?" The third said, "Whatever you want." The oldest took a look and saw a swallow's nest under the eaves of the house, so let's use that as the theme and said, "Looking up, I saw a swallow's nest. I've got seven words here. I'll make seven dumplings." Lao San said, "Don't do it, I'll do it." He took a small dish and chopsticks and pushed the dumplings out of the pot. One word at a time. "Raise your head, look, see, a bird's nest, a bird's nest, hey, you eat seven." The second man looked at me and said, "You're picking at the words. I said, "There are eight or nine swallows in there. I've got seven here too, I'll pluck them myself." I poked them into the bowl and crushed them with my chopsticks. Lao-san said, "How can you eat it if it's all broken?" Lao Er said, "What do you care?" Take a spoon to scoop up a little soup, "I am blanching balls with slices of soup, you say." The oldest three so think ah, big brother said he looked up and saw a bird's nest, the second brother said that inside the little swallow eight or nine, the little swallow will not hit the food ah, I said that the big swallow out of the nest to hit the food, hit back to feed the food to the little swallow, the fools will have to say 'feed', so that he can eat a dumpling. Right! "The big swallow comes out of the nest and feeds the baby swallows! Lao Si, you say it." Lao Si's word "feed" was on the tip of his tongue, but Boss went over and covered his mouth. "Say hello!" Lao Si said, "Returning food is feeding!" The oldest said, "Why is it just feeding? If you want to feed them in the nest, you'll have to eat four of them, or three of them, or two of them, or two of them, or two of them, or two of them." The oldest three said: "Why are you in such a big hurry?" The fourth said: "Big brother, said how much to eat how much ah?" The oldest said: "How do you not understand which, a word tube a dumpling, the more the better." The fourth said, "Third brother, you keep track of the number for me." Lao San said, "Okay, go ahead." Lao Si said: "I put the big Yan say a word ......" Lao San almost put the nose askew, playing home out of his net a word, this time a word tube a dumpling he did not say one less, "Good, you eat seven it. " Old four a roll of white eyes: "I have what to eat seven ah?" "You said seven words, you have to eat seven?" "I haven't finished my words yet!" "More?" "Many more!" "Good! Then you can say it." "Third Brother, keep track of the number for me." Lao San said, "Okay, I'll count it for you." "I'll tell you about the Great Swallow. It comes out of its nest early in the morning to fight for food, spreads its wings and moves forward, flies past the Peach Blossom Shop for three miles, and crosses the Apricot Blossom Slope for five miles, and in front of the Peach Blossom Shop there is a good wine, and in front of the Apricot Blossom Slope there are lots of beauties. After a long time, the swallow had enough food to eat and pursed its wings and closed its plume to enter the nest. The big swallow just put the nest door into, the little swallow saw smiling, this will call the mother, called the mother you listen, you outside the food fight, really hungry I can not wait. The big Yan saw not slow, took the food to feed a get, feed this feed that, feed that feed this, feed that feed this ...... "The old three said:" Sensei counted, the dumplings are yours!