Three people funny skit script

A: There are 3 kinds of stupid people in the world - those who are not sick and take medicine, those who don't scream when they see me as a handsome man, and those who don't laugh when they watch this skit. To hear me say so, you still do not laugh ah? Sick, sick at heart. I'm not going to lie, I majored in fortune telling. Now see chanting, I opened such a psychological clinic, so that you can not only rest assured of making money, but also to exercise my specialty of cheating people. With a pair of glasses, you look a bit educated. I'm not sure if you're a smart person, but I'm a smart person. Ha, come to life!

Please come in!

B: ouch ... doctor, you here is a psychological clinic not?

A: Yes, yes, yes, sit down.

B: Doctor, it's hard to be a human being, why is it so hard to be an earthling?

A: Why do you say that?

B: Sit down and listen to me slowly! My name is bachelor, nicknamed stinky tofu. There is a boss fierce like a tiger, scraping me only bone, money in front of me dance, just not allowed to buy a share of stock. He's so mean to me that I'm in deep shit. I am now worse than a widow. I don't even know if I'm a male or a female anymore.

A: See you thin like a dog, eat a lot of suffering, right? Come here and let me see your face.

B: How can you look at your face?

A: Our clinic has a face reading service.

B: It's a bit of a stretch.

A: Small eyes, single eyelid, plus a golden hook nose. How does this mouth look like a belly button? OK ah brother, I found all the shortcomings on the human five senses, all grow in your face alone. If you don't want to be mistreated, all the workers in the factory won't agree.

C came, enter

C (while walking): These days, it is difficult to be a human being! Why do you think it's so hard to be an earthling?

A: Why is there a fat pig here?

A: Come on, do do do do

C: Doctor ah! I don't know, don't look at me so fat, in fact, conservative torture ah!

C: You see, this stomach, chili water irrigation, this face, have been beaten and swollen like this

B: brother, who hit ah, with my boss the same?

C: Who else could it be? The president of the company "You're a fool", "I'm a fool"

B: Brother, colleagues ah! We're in the same company! I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that!

C: Little brother!

The two men hugged each other

A: Don't be so affectionate, people will think you're gay if they see you!

B and C: Who's gay?

A: Alas, to see you so poor, I will send you a pair of couplets, the first line is: as long as life goes on. The next couplet is: even if the head grows a little green. Crossword: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. By the way, I have to ask, what does your boss look like

B, C: our unit people once wrote a couplet to describe his looks:

B: the first couplet is: see the back of the rush on a thousand horses

C: the second couplet is: fierce back to frighten off the lords of the road

A: what is the crossword?

B and C: My mom's teeth!

B: It is said that the people of the earth is fragile, I just so confused to go to work. Since I joined their company ah every day is up earlier than the chicken, eat worse than a pig, work dry than a donkey more than it! What is not to say, brother, all tears ah ~

C: You are still good ah!

A: I'm going to have to blow some steam, and start cheating.

C: Huh?

A: Nothing, I said it's time to get wasted if I keep this up.

B, C: doctor...you have to save me ah!

A: Well said, for your situation, I give you two kinds of packages you deal with the boss: a horror package; a peace package, you choose~

C: horror package, too scary. I'm timid, so tell me the peaceful one.

A: Peaceful package, right! What about this one, it involves a question of intellectual property.

C: I see...intellectual property rights...look at it this way? (pulling out 200 yuan)

A: OK! See you quite sincere, tell you. Peace package in the simplest language is - resignation!

C: Resign? This is basically not doable, you do not understand the specifics of the situation, I still have 2,000 dollars of wages in that pressure! I have nothing left, that's the end of it, isn't it?

B: doctor, peace package I can not do, you give me to the horror of it

A doctor made a gesture of money

B gave the doctor 50 yuan

A: this is not a rat to the cat as a third party, you want to money, don't want to life! This puts me in a difficult position.

B: Doctor, I'm also in a difficult situation

A: just 50 dollars na,

B: this is not still a little change! I don't know if you want to take it.

A: You think I'm afraid to take it, don't you? (Putting the change into the mouth band) I tell you, this horror package has a certain degree of danger, need a certain degree of perseverance and courage!

B: We're like this, what are we afraid of?

C: You just say it, I insisted

A: drink a little wine, strengthen the courage to drink after the wine, take advantage of the strength of the wine, find a street corner, you have to hide: gouge and pinch scratching wringing biting, punching, kicking and stepping I don't believe it, the whole thing is not to die

C This is going to be a dead man, ah?

A: I also know, I mainly want to scare him, come to an old lady smeared lipstick - to give her some color to see

B: can it work?

A: The dog bites the ass ~ sure

C this paging ... the boss paged me I go to him back ah ...

I that lunch box phone in the dormitory charging it to your cell phone to lend me a little

A: Comrade patients, charge you a little bit of outpatient fee, I have to take a cell phone bill ~ I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get through this! Hey, wait a minute, I'll give you a couple of explanations!

C Well, you say good

A: a ruthless, two to endure, tolerate no longer have to endure! If you can't, you can kill yourself

C: Ah? Boss, I have no problem with you, just now the signal is not good, oh, please 4 colleagues in the more delicious dinner ah, call us to go ah, thank you ~ ~ ah! The first thing you need to do is to pay the money. 8800 ah, ah, it's okay ~ I'm not having a problem with you. I'm just saying it's too much for me to spend 8,800 on 4 classmates! I'll be right there!

Doctor, we have to go pay my boss right now, we had a good chat today, I'll come back to listen to you later!

A: Good! Goodbye, alas ~ this money is too easy to earn it. Hurry up and give my mom a call. Report report

(beckon cell phone). Yi? Where's the cell phone? Oh no, it was taken by that stinky tofu, (towards the distance) don't run ah!