Sketch comedy

Cui Yongyuan: Hello ...... Uncle Hello ...... Please sit down~~~ Please sit down Uncle

Zhao Benshan: En

Song Dandan: En~~~ Ahem~~~

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle Auntie ah

(a little bit nervous

) p>

(slightly nervous)

Cui Yongyuan: slightly nervous. The first time you go to a TV studio, it's the first time you go to a TV studio!

Zhao Benshan: First time.

Song Dandan: Well, yes ~~~

Cui Yongyuan: just come to this studio ah, there will be a little nervous. You see there are so many cameras, so many viewers, a moment we talk talk can be relaxed. Let's introduce ourselves first.

Zhao Benshan: How to introduce?

Cui Yongyuan: According to your family's custom.

Song Dandan: I said it first ~ ~ ~ ~

Cui Yongyuan: Good

Song Dandan: My name is Baiyun,

Zhao Benshan: My name is HeiTu,

Song Dandan: I seventy-one,

Zhao Benshan: I seventy-five,

Song Dandan: I am a chicken,

Zhao Benshan: I'm a tiger,

Song Dandan: I am a tiger,

The first thing I did was to introduce myself,

This is the first time I have seen this.

ZHAO Benshan: This is my husband,

ZHAO Benshan: This is my mother -

(the band played music)

ZHAO Benshan: My old partner,

SONG DANDAN: Differences in generation ~ ~ ~ ~

Cui Yongyuan: Please sit down please sit down. Uncle aunt ah, too nervous, don't be nervous. I tell you this talk show, it has a topic, we talk about the topic it is not nervous.

Zhao Benshan: Yes

Cui Yongyuan: Today's topic is "yesterday, today, tomorrow". I think we should change the rules, this time you first.

Zhao Benshan: Yesterday, at home to prepare for the night; today, came here; tomorrow, go back, thank you!

(band playing music)

Zhao Benshan: quite simple,

Cui Yongyuan: no, uncle I'm not letting you say this yesterday, I'm letting you say it forward,

Song Dan Dan: the day before yesterday, the day before yesterday, the day before yesterday, the two of us got the notice of the township, thank you.

Cui Yongyuan: uncle ah, I said this yesterday, today, tomorrow ah, not ~ ~ ~ ~ yesterday, today, tomorrow,

Zhao Benshan: is the day after tomorrow?

Cui Yongyuan: It's not the day after tomorrow,

Song Dandan: Which day is it?

Cui Yongyuan: Not a day. I said this means we, this - recall the past, and then comment on the present, and then look forward to the future. You understand?

Zhao Benshan: Ah~~~ that is the past, present and future!

Song Dandan: That's not yesterday, today and tomorrow,

Zhao Benshan: Yes, you ask this ~ ~ ~ ~ a little problem.

Song Dandan: Yes, there is no such question.

Cui Yongyuan: I also got it wrong I also ~ ~ ~ ~ then who said it first?

Zhao Benshan: I'll say it, there is preparation.

Cui Yongyuan: Ah, ready?

Zhao Benshan: Reform spring wind blowing all over the ground, the Chinese people are really competitive; concerted efforts across the century, a big water did not matter.

Zhao Benshan: The spring breeze of reform is blowing all over the place!

(orchestra music)

Cui Yongyuan: This is a poem,

Song Dandan: It's my turn,

Cui Yongyuan: Auntie is also ready?

Song Dandan: Yes~~~ I'll stand and say it. The spring wind of reform blew into the door, the Chinese people shake the spirit; the Gulf of that place is quite disturbing, the United States and Britain together to bully people. Thank you!

Zhao Benshan: bullies you thank it what to do finished should.

Song Dandan: rude,

Cui Yongyuan: what is this called talk ah, the whole a poetry contest ah. Uncle aunt ah, today is the Chinese New Year, the Chinese New Year, do not talk about those things that make people upset. We'll talk about something happy.

Zhao Benshan: You see, I'm home I told her I said you write this can not, Gulf that thing that the United Nations Annan can not control you worry about what to do finished should ~ ~ ~

Song Dandan: that you say it ~ ~ ~ ~

Cui Yongyuan: that uncle said, said the great situation

Zhao Benshan: leaders, comrades

Cui Yongyuan: to make a report ah?

Zhao Benshan: The leaders, comrades.

Zhao Benshan: Can't you say that?

Cui Yongyuan: ah, line, you say it ~ ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: Hello! Nine eight nine eight is not good, grain harvest, the flood was driven away. The people live and work in peace and contentment, all praise the leadership of the party. Especially the people's army, is the world is hard to find. Overseas is a mess, and there's a lot of fighting going on. One day the cabinet steps down, the next day the prime minister is fired. After the financial crisis, they want to impeach the leaders. Looking around the world, the scenery is better this way! I'd like to thank you for your time!

(orchestra music) (sitting on the ground)

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle! Uncle!

Zhao Benshan: two steps forward, forget -

Song Dandan: nothing ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ quite successful,

Zhao Benshan: success? ...... disgraced?

Song Dandan: No~~~

Cui Yongyuan: uncle aunt ah, this talk show, it is actually talking, is chatting, is nagging, is your northeastern sitting on the kang nagging, you at home what kind of ah, here on what kind of. Don't be nervous, OK?

Zhao Benshan: that you relax the matter ~ ~ ~ ~ you early said ah, early to say early to understand ~ ~ ~

(shoes, plate legs) (band played music)

Song Dandan: you put on the shoes,

Zhao Benshan: told to relax it!

Song Dandan: let the spirit of relaxation you relax feet for what ah, stinky ~ ~ ~ ~ stop, sweaty feet ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: take off the shoes can not be oh?

Cui Yongyuan: ah ~ ~ ~ line line ~ ~ ~

Song Dan Dan: rude it ~ ~ ~ ~

Cui Yongyuan: uncle aunt I ask a word Oh, you ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ have not seen our program, right,

Zhao Benshan: seen, you do not surnamed Cui it, the truth that,

Cui Yongyuan: right, yes, < / p>

Song Dan Dan: You are not called Cui Yongyuan,

Cui Yongyuan: Yes,

Song Dan Dan: Our village people can like you,

Cui Yongyuan: really ah?

Song Dan Dan: all praise you, said you hosted that program can be good,

Cui Yongyuan: so say ah!

Song Dandan: It's just that people are a little bit bumpy~~~

(orchestra playing music)

Zhao Benshan: How can you be like this!

Song Dandan: honestly,

Zhao Benshan: you blindly say what honestly ~ ~ ~ ~ I'm sorry, she that's not what I mean, my partner said that that means like you hosted the program, ah, the village most love to see nah, that guy said you hosted the characteristics of the said a laugh as if crying.

(The band played music)

Zhao Benshan: No, a cry like a laugh ~ ~ ~ ~

Cui Yongyuan: their village are so boastful ah their village,

Song Dan Dan: also said that you -

Cui Yongyuan: line line line ~ ~ ~ ~ stop, we still say you two old it!

Cui Yongyuan: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, let's just talk about you two.

Zhao Benshan: We met on May 8,

Song Dandan: About the winter.

Cui Yongyuan: It's not easy to stop reciting poetry, and then change to singing. The first time I was in love, who was in love with who?

ZHAO Benshan: Hey~~~~

SONG DANDAN: This thing, you see don't say~~~

CUI Yongyuan: This belongs to personal privacy,

ZHAO Benshan: In fact, Cui you should have this kind of power of the eye, at that time - I use the words of the current situation, the guy is more handsome, chasing me.

Zhao Benshan: In fact, Xiao Cui you should have this kind of eye, at that time - I use the present words, the guy is more handsome, chased me.

Song Dandan: Why don't you tell the truth? You let everyone look at your old face like a shoehorn, I can chase you ah?

ZHAO BENSHAN: So not aesthetically pleasing,

SONG DANDAN: Why?

ZHAO Benshan: This is called a shoe-pulled face? This is the authentic face of the pig's waist!

(Orchestra playing music)

Cui Yongyuan: It's not as good as a shoehorn.

Song Dandan: When I was young it was definitely not blowing, willow leaf brow cherry mouth, who saw me are happy to look.

Zhao Benshan: Hm ~ ~ ~ ~ pull back! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it!

Cui Yongyuan: uncle ah, uncle so not right, in fact, the mother now look quite spiritual,

Song Dandan: now not, now is the hair is also white, wrinkles have grown, two white incisors last year, also honorably laid off ~ ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: ha ha ha ha ~ ~ ~ ~ the word the whole of the ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cui Yongyuan: know this!

This is the first time I've ever seen a person who has been laid off from a job. I'll ask them one at a time.

Song Dandan: Ask me?

Cui Yongyuan: Auntie ah, at that time uncle how he chased you?

Song Dandan: He is ~ ~ ~ ~ initiative and I close, nothing and I nagging, either for me to mow the lawn or recite poetry to me, but also always looking for an opportunity to make secret glances at me!

Cui Yongyuan: longing looks

Zhao Benshan: don't be ridiculous, I remember I gave you a pen, sent a table, and also sent a big black pot to your home, when I gave you the eye? What is the end of the fall wave?

Cui Yongyuan: the autumn wave is young men and women --

Song Dandan: what is the end of the autumn wave should you do not understand it so uneducated,

Zhao Benshan: what is it?

Song Dandan: Qiubo is the spinach in the fall.

Zhao Benshan: Oh!

(orchestra music)

Zhao Benshan: sent, year after year.

Cui Yongyuan: I heard today for the first time that the autumn wave is such a thing. I've never heard of such a thing as a fall. When people fall in love, they have to send that decent love object, you think about it.

Zhao Benshan: Heh heh, say this thing is also a bit of history.

Song Dandan: I say it,

Cui Yongyuan: Auntie said,

Song Dandan: I'm getting married that money, I want to send him a sweater, that money is poor, there is no money to buy; catch up with it I happen to be for the production team to herd sheep, I found that sheep shedding, I will be oyster wool down. I went home at night, spun it into wool, and then knitted the sweater during the day while herding the sheep and oystering the wool.

Cui Yongyuan: digging socialism wall!

Song Dandan: Yes, I was given a charge called oyster socialist wool.

(orchestra music)

Cui Yongyuan: This is not a light crime,

Zhao Benshan: She is too real, you said that at the time of fifty sheep, you oyster wool bias can be an oyster, oyster this guy like Ge You like who can not see ah?

Cui Yongyuan: I heard out, this is actually not sent into the love thing, that marriage time must have a decent bride price, there is no?

Song Dandan: said out are not afraid to laugh, his family poor tube what finished should not be

Zhao Benshan: don't Ba blind, there was a household appliances it!

Cui Yongyuan: There are household appliances?

Zhao Benshan: flashlight!

Cui Yongyuan: Eh, there is no decent love object, there is no decent bride price, but you see uncle and aunt weather so many years, living quite well, I think this is the same strength ah, it is worthwhile for our young people to learn, it is a role model for us to learn!

Zhao Benshan: Hey, don't learn from us, I two feelings have had a crisis.

Cui Yongyuan: before?

Zhao Benshan: Now.

Cui Yongyuan: What's going on?

Zhao Benshan: After the reform and opening up, we built a two-story building. This building is finished house more suddenly with me to put forward to separate, said shelves a house who delayed her learning foreign languages, finished it said this feelings this thing is distance produces beauty. As a result, when I went upstairs, the distance was widened and the beauty was lost! The day to day dinner what is not serious call me, call, but also say foreign language: "Hello wow, rice has been OK, come down to Misi it!"

(orchestra music)

Song Dan Dan: Why don't you tell the truth? I'm not sure why I'm living apart from you, but I'm not sure why I'm living apart from you.

Zhao Benshan: You have a small mind.

Song Dandan: You do not look at me all day long, every day in front of the TV set waiting to see Ni Ping, I do not say you pull down!

Zhao Benshan: said that what use ah, that Zhao Zhongxiang out of your eyes are not also straight?

Song Dandan: Zhao Zhongxiang, Zhao Zhongxiang is my idol.

Zhao Benshan: Ni Ping is the girl of my dreams!

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle, this is not right~~~

Song Dandan: not shoot! When these people it you say this finish should do what ah!

Cui Yongyuan: all talk less.

Zhao Benshan: wrong, okay?

Cui Yongyuan: You're not going to be able to say anything about it!

Song Dandan: Cui, this Gulu pinch Oh, do not broadcast.

Cui Yongyuan: this Gulu pinched, do not broadcast ~ ~ ~

Song Dan Dan: are so old ~ ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: not you mention it!

Song Dandan: No culture!

Cui Yongyuan: two old people are so many years, stormy so many years, in order to watch a TV, I think it is not worth it.

Zhao Benshan: not so, and then more Guo, this guy put our family men and women, young and old, East and West House of Councillors all came to the meeting, to impeach me.

Cui Yongyuan: The matter also made a big deal!

Zhao Benshan: Well, then after the family vote by show of hands, we agreed that I --

Cui Yongyuan: You are right!

ZHAO Benshan: apologize to the people.

Cui Yongyuan: I'm sure you'll want to let the lady talk about the apologies.

Song Dandan: Go, I'll talk to Cui.

Zhao Benshan: Say it!

(Push Zhao Benshan)

Song Dandan: One night, bam bam chiseled the door of my room, I opened the door like a wooden stake eyes straight hook staring at me, had to recite a poem to me.

Zhao Benshan: Stop it~~~

Song Dandan: "ah, white clouds, black soil to apologize to you, come to your door, please open your eyes, look at me how poor. How today you and I repeat yesterday's story, and whether this old ticket of mine can still board your broken ship!"

(Orchestra playing music)

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle ah, what happened?

Zhao Benshan: The sound of the sea remains the same ~~~

(band playing music)

Cui Yongyuan: Look ah, we today, the first to talk about suffering, talking about talking about fights, I think it is this topic ah, up too heavy. I think it's too heavy a topic to start with. Let's change the topic and think about a better tomorrow!

Song Dandan: Then, I first think about it,

Cui Yongyuan: You first think about it,

Song Dandan: I think about it,

I was born in the old society, grew up under the red flag, walking in the spring breeze, ready to cross the century. I think of the past, look at the present day, I rise and fall. So I came up with an idea.

Cui Yongyuan: What idea?

Song Dandan: I want to write a book.

Zhao Benshan: Oops, stop. Pull back, read the book can not read down to write what book ah

Cui Yongyuan: uncle ah, download the book fever, write a book can

Song Dandan: Yes, the people of Ni Ping have published a book called "days", my book is called "moon"!

Zhao Benshan: even can brag ah, you want to write "moon" I also write a book, "wait for the moon", bragged.

Cui Yongyuan: The more you say, the more wrong. Auntie you slowly conceptualize, slowly write this book. Uncle either you say, what is the most important thing you want to do now?

Zhao Benshan: I think we are now living a good life, more and more old, the remaining time is less and less. In the past on the day over, now should be on the second, the next step I'm ready to lead her out of the travel tour, walk a bigger city, go to the Tieling, honeymoon.

Song Dandan: I think before the honeymoon I have to beauty beauty, these two incisors installed, installed a porcelain,

Cui Yongyuan: advanced,

Song Dandan: Well, and then in the whole face, do a facelift,

Zhao Benshan: I shoot a cucumber.

Cui Yongyuan: If you get a pulling the skin, shoot a cucumber, I can only hot pot of wine. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.

(The band played music)

Cui Yongyuan: At the end of our program, in accordance with the usual practice, we would like to invite each guest, each with a sentence, and then summarize their inner feelings. Auntie first?

Song Dandan: Just one sentence left?

Cui Yongyuan: One sentence.

Song Dan Dan: from the heart?

Cui Yongyuan: Yes, from the heart.

Song Dan Dan: I would like to see Zhao Zhongxiang.

Zhao Benshan: pull back! The first thing you need to do is to get the money to pay for it!

Cui Yongyuan: people let say from the heart!

Zhao Benshan: so embarrassing! I don't know what I'm talking about! Let you say a sentence you say this dry what finish should be, shame or not! I don't want to talk about the key!

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle either you say, a sentence.

Zhao Benshan: I also left a sentence?

Cui Yongyuan: Ah, one sentence, yes.

Zhao Benshan: who reported the train tickets to the money.

(orchestra music)

Cui Yongyuan: Thank you for the scene and the audience in front of the TV, we will be honest next week, goodbye!

(end)