What are the current family patterns in China?

The historical evolution of China's family relationship model can be divided into three stages. Before the founding of New China, the pattern of family relations was consistent with the feudal patriarchal clan system, with patriarchy and husband power as the main features, which was a feudal family relationship. Vertical family relationship is that parents or parents are in the highest position, and elders have absolute power to rule the family; The horizontal family relationship is that men are superior to women, and the family status of women who have not married their fathers, husbands or sons is very humble. The only way for women in China to taste the power is to have children, marry their daughter-in-law as their mother-in-law, and use their daughter-in-law's humble family status to achieve their psychological satisfaction of "turning over as masters". To some extent, the family oppression from the mother-in-law is deeper. ⑧ Another feature of this feudal family relationship model is that the stability and continuity of vertical family relationship is the values and moral law of feudal society and the highest principle of family. The development of horizontal family relations must obey the interests of vertical relations. The purpose of establishing or maintaining a marriage without emotional foundation is to obey parents' marriage rights and try their best to undertake family obligations; In order not to disobey the parents' orders and protect the name of the dutiful son, I reluctantly divorced my beloved wife. The restraint and control of feudal family relations not only led to many family tragedies, but also kept women's low family and social status unchanged for a long time.

From the founding of New China to the 1980s, family relations in China entered a semi-equal rights mode. The vertical family relationship is still up and down, and parents continue to maintain an important position as decision makers in family affairs, and vertically interfere with other family relationships by controlling family property ownership and family income. The traditional patriarchal system still plays a major role in the process of family management. At the same time, the public opinion's emphasis on the family's function of supporting the elderly and children, as well as the prominent propaganda of the traditional virtues of respecting the elderly in China, have made many families emphasize giving consideration to the vertical relationship of the family or focusing on the vertical relationship when dealing with the horizontal relationship of the family. On the contrary, the horizontal family relationship has changed obviously during this period. New China has taken a series of measures to improve women's status in family and society, including legislation, education, employment, advocating late marriage and birth control, and stopping parents' unreasonable interference in their children's personal freedom and marital affairs through vertical relations, which has effectively improved the horizontal relationship between husband and wife, made them increasingly equal in personal relations and property relations, and changed the relationship between husband and wife from one-way passive to two-way interactive. The characteristics of the family relationship model in this period are: the horizontal relationship between husband and wife, which has been gradually valued and improved, still retains obvious traces of being dominated by the vertical relationship of the family; The concept of hierarchy and the unequal treatment among family members related to age, gender and seniority have not been completely eliminated; Moreover, there are still patriarchal influences and gender discrimination in family division of labor, distribution of consumer goods, intellectual investment, marriage and childbirth arrangements.

Since 1980s, the general trend of the change of family relationship pattern in China is to develop in the direction of pseudo-feudalism. With the popularization of China's one-child population policy, the concepts of "children first, children biased" and "expecting children to succeed, expecting women to become the norm" began to affect family relations in China, and even changed the nature of these relations. In urban families or rural families with sons, the only child has become the "little emperor" of the family, the center of family activities and the key object of protection for all. In the past, grandparents who were above themselves volunteered to be very competent unpaid "senior nannies" for their little baby, regardless of their status and health. Daughter-in-law sometimes squeezes out her mother-in-law with the prestige of "little emperor" and orders her husband to rise from the position of being equal to her in-laws and her husband to the position second only to "little emperor". Of course, there are exceptions to this family relationship. In rural families with only daughters, the equal status that wives once won suddenly loses, and most of them are under great psychological pressure, and some even suffer from different degrees of life abuse; Daughters are not necessarily better off than mothers. They can't get the warmth and care they deserve from their families, and some of them are even abandoned. In short, the characteristics of the family relationship model in this period are as follows: first, the status of vertical family relationship has risen, and the only child has a tendency to dominate the world, which is very unfavorable to their normal education and adds difficulties to the handling of other family relationships; Second, horizontal family relations are once again in a subordinate position, and real equality has not been realized. Between husband and wife, or the husband dominates or the wife does everything, and between children, boys are preferred to girls; Third, the relationship between husband and wife is child-oriented, which changes with the birth of boys and girls, and there is a lack of spiritual needs and emotional pursuit between husband and wife. In essence, this family relationship model is a serious retrogression, returning to feudal form, which is called pseudo-feudal family relationship model.

The above family relationship model shows that the whole process of family relationship changes in China is basically around the vertical relationship of families, which has always been superior to the horizontal relationship. The status of husband and wife as the subject and core of family relations has never been confirmed, and it is impossible to establish an interactive and equal relationship between family members. These models are not in line with the spirit of openness and democracy. Therefore, the family relationship in China must be reformed seriously and a modern family relationship model with the flavor of the times should be established.

Third, establish a modern family relationship model in line with China's national conditions.

In modern families, the relationship between husband and wife is the axis of the whole family relationship network and the driving force for the normal operation of family machines. Family stability mainly depends on the harmony and harmony between husband and wife. A good relationship between husband and wife can not only bring psychological sense of security and belonging to other family members, but also enable the family to have the mind and ability to take care of the vertical relationship of the family and actively assume the social functions of supporting the elderly. Therefore, the modern family relationship model needs to really highlight the core position of husband-wife relationship and insist on taking it as the basic premise of considering other family relationships. On the other hand, the Chinese nation has the traditional virtue of respecting, supporting and educating the next generation. After the establishment of the socialist market economic system, the social security system based on the planned economy gradually disintegrated, and the new system adapted to the market economic system has not yet been formed and improved, and the family's function of supporting the elderly is more important. Economic marketization has also caused a substantial increase in education expenses and the expansion of family demand for children's education investment. In addition, the change of social structure has brought more opportunities for women to directly participate in production, operation and social activities, and the actual cost and opportunity cost of family education for children have greatly increased. Therefore, the modern family relationship model must also proceed from China's national conditions and fully embody the characteristics of giving full play to the social functions of supporting the elderly.

According to the above ideas, in the future development model of family relations in China, that is, the modern family relations model, the relationship between husband and wife is the center of the whole family relations network, and the quality and stability of the relationship between husband and wife is the focus of investigating family relations and the basis of coordinating other family relations. The relationship between husband and wife is essentially two-way and equal. It is to adjust the relationship between them through positive interaction and communication on an equal family status and solve possible frictions and conflicts in time. So that husband and wife's hobbies, common goals, caring for the elderly and raising children can be considered harmoniously. This principle of equal interaction is also applicable to the establishment of other horizontal relationships in the family. At the same time, the vertical relationship in the modern family model is also interactive. The previous generation and the next generation are family members, so they should be independent and equal in personal personality, and there should be no distinction between high and low and master and slave. Therefore, any form of male domination, unmarried cohabitation, extramarital love, exclusive enjoyment of the elderly, selling the elderly according to others, despising, abusing and abandoning the elderly, and valuing the only child are all wrong.