There is still one month to get married, the hotel and the wedding are all set, and my grandfather (my father's grandfather) died suddenly at the age of 9 1. What should I do? Also this year.

The butcher asked me, "Three years of mourning is a long time. If a gentleman is not polite for three years, the courtesy will be bad; If you don't have fun for three years, have fun. The old valley has gone, the new valley is rising, and the time has passed. " Confucius said, "A husband eats his husband's rice, and a wife eats his wife's brocade. How can he be safe with his daughter?" Say, "Ann." "Female Ann is for it. The loss of a gentleman is unwilling to eat, listen to music and live, so it is not for him. This woman is safe, so do it! " When I was slaughtered, Confucius said, "It's unkind to do it! My son was born three years ago, and then he broke away from his parents. My husband was lost for three years, and the whole world was lost. Have you loved your parents for three years? " ?

In my opinion, mourning for three years is a requirement of etiquette, but etiquette is not fixed, it is constantly changing. After three years of mourning for a long time, it's time to change.

Confucius believed that mourning for three years was not a requirement of propriety, but a requirement of personal kindness. A gentleman's mood is sad when his parents die, but eating delicious food and wearing gorgeous clothes is the pursuit of happiness, which is contradictory to his sad mood. Therefore, the pursuit of happiness in mourning will not be peaceful. Only when he is crying and sad will his heart be peaceful and he can satisfy happiness.

I replied to Confucius that when his parents died, he ate delicious food and wore gorgeous clothes, and lived peacefully and contentedly. In other words, their understanding and experience of benevolence are different. So there is no way to communicate between the two, because the basic assumptions are different.

According to Confucius, a gentleman is sad when his parents die, and he will feel uneasy when he pursues enjoyment. Confucius had no choice but to say that if you are safe, you will do it. The implication is that Confucius will have no peace and can only hold a funeral once every three years.

Killing me with my words and deeds is judged by Confucius as heartless here. However, we can see that there is another virtue, and that is "sincerity", which is also the reason why he has virtue.

Rites can be implemented because they are based on human heart and benevolence. The reason why the ceremony has changed is because the benevolence has changed. In killing the United States, benevolence and courtesy still echo each other, so it is true. Therefore, a year of mourning is also a gift.