If I am engaged, what decision should I make?

1. How to get engaged? Are there any etiquette rules for engagement?

I think this matter is very important, it is once in a lifetime for you, and it should be the only time.

Then, of course, we should do a good job and see what the girl's family needs. For example, the girl's family wants to be serious, simple and practical, so you should do it well and ask the girl for advice. Understand this: well, here are some simple ways: do as the Romans do! What are the local regulations? This is one of the references: therefore, you should basically refer to local customs.

1, you have to ask the girl if she needs a deposit; There are many places that need a deposit. One meaning is to express gratitude to other parents for their hard work and support for their daughters. 2. Eating is a must. Invite both parties. In some places, boys go to girls' homes to have dinner with their parents. Of course, there are people accompanying them, and some girls go to the man's house to see the local customs.

3, friends, you can invite girls' girlfriends, your good friends, and the other party is an important relative of the other parent. About diamond rings, of course, it is best to send them to each other.

2. How did you get engaged?

Generally, the engagement is from the woman to the man's house (or from the woman's house to the man's house, so the man has to pay for the meal), involving about 10 people, all of whom are close relatives. Generally, when the two parties meet, the engagement date should be fixed, and the amount of money depends on the family conditions of both parties. But generally speaking, if other things are counted, 50,000 yuan is not much, but it is hard to say.

Some families don't want a penny of bride price, and their parents send something to accompany them; Some people want to bring back all the bride price without spending money, some people accept the bride price to buy home appliances, some people are left by their parents, and some people spend nothing, and all the bride price is left by their parents (mostly in rural areas).

When you are engaged, some elders will ask you for cigarettes or something, but they won't. They all give money, usually not less than 200.

Engagement means that both parties agree on the date of marriage, and then give money to get engaged, have dinner together, and discuss details, such as floats, how many tables there are for the bride's family guests, what customs the man has, what special requirements the woman's family has, and so on. Generally, the man's family will try their best to meet the needs of the woman. If the man's family wants to tie the knot, if not, it will probably end in discord, and then you will basically have no chance.

3. What is the engagement process?

Simple process of engagement ceremony:

1, parents of both parties discuss.

Before the engagement, the parents of both men and women will formally meet to discuss the engagement process, taboos, bride price, bride price money and so on.

Step 2 give a wedding gift

On the day of engagement, the man will bring the bride price and money to the woman's home;

Step 3 give each other engagement gifts

When exchanging engagement gifts, the man usually gives the gift to the woman first, and then the woman returns the gift. The man will prepare bride price, three gold and hardware for the woman, and the woman will refund part of the gift money to the man, and at the same time, she will give him a suit as a gift, which means to be caring and attentive;

Step 4 put on an engagement ring

Later, at the engagement ceremony, the man will put the engagement ring on the ring finger of the woman's left hand, and then the engagement between them will be formally reached.

5. engagement party

The engagement party is usually held by the woman's family, and witnessed the engagement ceremony of the couple with relatives and friends of both men and women. At the engagement party, the in-laws raise their glasses and drink together, which symbolizes the complete success of the engagement ceremony.

Extended data

The engagement party is held at the woman's home, but if the men and women hold the engagement ceremony in different places, they usually find a hotel to hold the engagement party. People attending the engagement party include:

1, witness: Actually, engagement, like marriage, needs a witness. The witness is usually a respected elder in the family. They need to announce their formal engagement at the engagement ceremony.

2. Parents of both parties: When engaged, parents of both parties need to be present to witness the engagement contract and the beautiful moment of the couple, and then say some blessings and words.

3. Brothers and sisters of both parents: Engagement is not only a matter for two families, but also a matter for two families. Therefore, the brothers and sisters, cousins and cousins of both parents need to be invited to the engagement party, and the brothers and sisters of the woman's father also need help to entertain guests.

4. Brother and girlfriend: On the day of engagement, the groom can also invite his good brother, and the bride can invite her girlfriend and sisters.

4. How to get engaged?

Engagement refers to a custom, a ceremony held when two lovers plan to get married soon! Although there is no legal constraint, there are moral constraints.

People's Republic of China (PRC) (China) does not prohibit engagement, but does not recognize the validity of engagement. In addition, the laws of China specifically stipulate that parents are not allowed to involve their minor children.

Regarding the participation of the general public (non-active servicemen), we need to pay attention to the following issues:

1. Engagement is not a legal procedure for marriage.

2. The betrothed parties must reach a certain legal age for marriage (22 for men and 20 for women). Engagement must be voluntary by both men and women, and there must be no legal obstacles (bigamy, kinship and diseases that prohibit marriage, etc.). ).

3. The marriage contract concluded by a third party such as parents and elders is invalid, and the parties need not be bound by it.

4. The agreement reached by both parties is based on their voluntary performance.

5. For the property dispute caused by the dissolution of the engagement, one party requests the return of the bride price. There are the following three cases, which the court supports: 1. If it is found that the parties concerned have not gone through the formalities of marriage registration; Two, the parties go through the formalities of marriage registration, but do not live together; Three, premarital payment and lead to difficulties for the payer.

Overview of wedding customs

Engagement, also known as "Wen Ding", used to be called "Najib" and "Zheng Na". Although engagement is not as complicated as marriage, traditional customs still attach great importance to it. Both men and women need to prepare some gifts. The process is as follows:

The groom is getting married on the way!

The groom first completes the family sacrifice at home, and then goes to the woman's house by car with the matchmaker to get married. Get off the bus and enter the door, the red envelope can't run away!

(1) Gong Guan: commonly known as "Mr. Gengzi", responsible for appointing gift-giving companies. Tribute officials must control the number of people (even numbers), vehicles (six or twelve), engagement money (even numbers and properly wrapped in red paper) and six gifts.

(2) Family Sacrifice: Before going to the woman's home, the man will hold an ancestor worship ceremony at home. At this time, he will give his ancestors a "box cake" or a big cake for harvesting. He will go to a virgin's home to get a job and ask his ancestors to bless this marriage.

(3) Departure: After the family sacrifice, the tribute officer is responsible for loading all the bride price on the car, and the groom and the matchmaker go to the woman's house together.

(4) Red envelopes: Before departure, besides paying attention to the number of people, vehicles and bride price, Gong Li Palace should also remind the groom to prepare more red envelopes. For example, the uncle who came to open the door for the groom, the "table-pressing man" and six accompanying relatives all need to prepare the bride's meeting gift, the new friend who washed the water and the gift from the matchmaker.

How to hire after booking for life?

You've always heard of "Marry a good husband after a full meal"! Therefore, sweet cakes should be included in the Six Rites.

Besides, why prepare four-color sugar? It symbolizes the sweetness of new people and the meaning of growing old together.

The bride price not only represents the man's gratitude to the woman's parents, but also represents the man's face. Therefore, most of them are willing to get a glamorous and decent appearance, and each dowry also contains the symbolic meaning of seeking good luck and increasing perfection.

Bridal gifts are usually divided into six simple gifts or twelve exquisite gifts. The amount of the bride price is arranged according to the individual budget. At the same time, it is suggested to seek the opinions of the woman's parents from the matchmaker, so as to kill two birds with one stone.

Marriage between men and women officially appeared.

Bang bang! Firecrackers sounded and the married man arrived! On that day, ancestor worship and tea worship will be held, and it will not be regarded as a ceremony until you put on a ring to hold hands with each other for a lifetime.

How does the lady return the gift after receiving it?

China people always pay attention to "reciprocity". After a man gives a big gift, a woman should also prepare a gift in return, but she can't let a man go home empty-handed.

Han nationality-marriage customs

In the past, most of the marriages of young Han people were arranged by their parents. Most of them got engaged when they were very young, and some people even called their bellies marriage, that is, their parents established a marriage relationship for their children before they were born.

Unmarried surname: that is, men and women with the same surname do not marry each other, which began in the early years of the Western Zhou Dynasty and was a rule left over by Zhou people when they practiced intermarriage. In the Spring and Autumn Period, people further realized that intermarriage with the same surname would cause abnormal infertility of offspring, but intermarriage with the same surname still occurred from time to time among nobles. After the Warring States period, the surname was Shi, and after the Han Dynasty, the surname was not divided, so it was often inevitable that the same surname would not be married. By the Tang Dynasty, marriage with the same surname followed the ancient system and was prohibited. There was a Tang law in the Song and Yuan Dynasties, and the same surname was married. The Ming and Qing dynasties had a large territory and a large population, and it was already a society based on region, replacing the clan based on blood. Therefore, the Ming Law Regulations and the Qing Law Regulations are divided into two parts: the same surname and the same clan. On the surface, it is forbidden for two people to get married. In fact, people of different races with the same surname can get married. At the end of the Qing Dynasty, Calligraphy merged unmarried relatives with unmarried surnames, and only the marriage of the same family was prohibited.

Please ask the matchmaker to propose marriage at the woman's house before engagement. When engaged, the man gives the woman some property as a "gift", and when married, the woman also brings a lot of property to the man's family, which is called "dowry".

5. What should I do to prepare for the engagement? Engaged?

What do you need for engagement? Engagement: 1. Parents of both sides meet to discuss the engagement, mainly to determine the amount of the yellow calendar and the man's dowry.

At present, it is 6.5438+0.08 million, but it mainly depends on the economic conditions of both sides. The gift money received is returned according to the economic situation. If the woman's condition is generally 88888, it will be returned to the man, ranging from 38888 to 58888.

If the woman's condition is good, she will accept all the gift money and buy the man a car. There must be plenty of time before the engagement day. In the meantime, we need to buy what we need for our engagement. Let's start with what the man gives the woman.

(1) A set of gold ornaments. Including earrings, bracelets, (anklets), necklaces, a pair of rings and a diamond ring (the price of diamond ring is about 15000). In fact, you can also go to the gold shop to buy a loose diamond, and then choose the style you like to build it. Prices vary greatly, which can save about 35%. Note: If you ask your parents first, some parents like to buy 24K pure gold, thinking that it can preserve the value, but young people don't like it.

2 like candy. Including a pair of sugar, gold and apricots.

Wenzhou wedding candy is divided into different sizes, and the man is responsible for all the wedding candy that the woman needs, including the red envelope in the wedding candy (currently 50- 100 is given, depending on the conditions of both parties and the number of wedding candy). 3 watches.

In the past, this was to set the watch. Nowadays, because all kinds of electronic products have the function of watches, it is also common to buy only one for the woman. The price depends on their preference for styles and economic conditions, usually around 1 10,000.

What the lady wants to buy is: (1) a suit, two shirts, two ties, two pairs of shoes (a pair of casual shoes and a pair of leather shoes), two sets of casual clothes, a dozen socks, a gold bracelet and a necklace (if the red envelope for the best man is less than 580, you need to buy another shirt for the best man). I don't know about gold, and I didn't do it at that time. ) (2) A set of dishes has 88 pieces, 98 pieces and 108 pieces to choose from, and can be purchased according to the situation.

It is recommended to shop around and compare more, otherwise the price difference between the parties is not small. You must choose a date to deliver the bowl. There is a saying that "stability" is the homonym of "bowl" in Wenzhou dialect.

At present, bowls on the market are divided into bone China and ceramics. It is recommended to buy ceramics, which are resistant to high temperature and are not easy to crack. After a long time, they are not as easy to scale as bone China. Also note that you'd better buy a microwave oven, which will be very practical in the future.

(3) Six samples were divided into oranges, cakes, dates, longan, lotus seeds and peanuts. Then send one of the candied apricots sent by the man back to the man (you can buy six kinds in the franchise store, which saves a lot of time and effort. It is specially wrapped in washbasin and wrapping paper and needs to be booked about a week in advance).

3. Engagement Day: There are two kinds of engagement parties at present. One is that the woman's family holds a banquet at noon to entertain the man's parents and best man, and the man invites the woman back in the evening. The other is that parents, relatives and friends hold a banquet in the hotel to get engaged.

Generally, there are many people who choose the latter in urban areas now. In the afternoon, the man drove to the woman's house to greet her and her parents, and gave her brother or sister a box of money (bringing money means that the woman's brother or sister will not let her sister get married and refuse to leave, and he will only let her go if you give him money. According to the explanation of the older generation, if the woman is an only child, she will give the money to her mother). About the suitcase, some money was given on the wedding day.

The suitcase cost is about 5800- 10800. After arriving at the hotel, give tea to both parents and toast to friends and relatives to witness your love.

What do you need to prepare for engagement? .

6. How to get engaged?

Engagement procedure

1. Sacrifice to Ancestors Before leaving, men worship their ancestors and pray for a happy marriage.

2. On the day of engagement, the man carries engagement gifts (six or twelve gifts) and sets out for the woman's house with a cannon.

Those who go to the woman's house should be received by the man's older relatives and friends (preferably boys); Parents and groom-to-be plus two people, a total of six or eight people.

The number of people/limousines must be even, but avoid four or eight people. The number of limousines is generally six.

Both parties should pay attention to the time of wearing the ring (usually before 1 1:00 in the morning), and the man should arrive one hour in advance.

3. When the motorcade hired by the welcome man drove to the front of the woman's house about 100 meters, the woman "shot" and the woman "shot" back.

The matchmaker gets off first, and others get off next; Finally, the groom was invited out by the younger generation of the woman's family, and the groom gave red envelopes to the younger generation (opening ceremony).

4. Introduce the man's relatives and friends into the woman's house in turn, and the matchmaker formally introduces the relatives and friends of both parties; Introduce the man to the woman first.

5. Recruit the man's staff to bring Chunsheng (now called red wooden box) into the woman's living room, and the woman will accept the bride price and give a red envelope (a gift with her husband/driver), and show the bride price one by one.

The matchmaker sends gifts such as bride price and gold ornaments to the woman's parents, and the woman's relatives and friends collect the bride price and display sacrifices on the altar.

6. The elder of the woman who served the sweet tea asked the relatives of the man to sit down according to their age, with the groom at the bottom.

At this time, the bride was led out of the hall by a blessed woman and offered tea to the man's guests one by one with sweet tea. The number of cups is the same as the number of people drinking tea, neither more nor less. The matchmaker reads auspicious words and wishes.

7. Press the tea out. Later, the lucky woman will lead the bride out of the hall with a tea tray and get a tea cup. The relatives and friends of the man will put the red envelope and the teacup (the red envelope is rolled up and put in the teacup) on the tea tray one by one.

8. Hanging finger ring: gold ring, bronze ring (sound, indicating concentricity. You can also use a diamond ring instead.

It's time for the blessed woman to lead the bride into the hall.

In the presence of parents and relatives of both parties, the bride-to-be sits in the high chair in the hall facing outward, with her feet on the low chair (if she is an supernumerary, she faces inward).

When wearing a ring, wear the bride's middle finger first, then the groom's middle finger (usually only the second knuckle, both men and women are left-handed), and the matchmaker reads auspicious words.

The groom pays official money (red envelopes) to the bride, and the matchmaker reads auspicious words.

The prospective mother-in-law put a necklace on the bride as a gift.

After putting on the engagement ring, the matchmaker suggested that both parties change their names and address them one by one.

9. Sacrificing ancestors requires the bride's uncle to light candles to burn incense, and the woman will hold a "candle ceremony" for her mother's uncle (provided by the man).

Order two pairs of incense, one for the bride's parents and one for the bride-to-be.

The matchmaker reads auspicious words, and then the woman's parents worship the gods and ancestors, suing for marriage and blessing. When inserting incense, be sure not to insert it all at once. (taboo: the possibility of bigamy)

10 The gift that the woman gives back to the man is called "Rebirth" (also called "Squirt"). Take out the man's "employment gift" and put it into the empty life.

The woman returned a part of the "employment gift" sent by the man.

The bride prepares personal belongings (6 pieces or 12 pieces) for the groom from head to toe in advance.

Tradition returns.

If the engagement fee is refunded or the amount is small, the woman will leave a red note, and the matchmaker will take it from her parents and give it to the man's parents.

1 1. After the engagement ceremony, the woman hosted a banquet.

At the end of the dinner, the man's parents gave out "table pressing ceremony" and "sister table" red envelopes.

The woman should also prepare chicken legs with red paper and attach red envelopes to the young man.

A young woman washes her hands with washbasin water (with towels in it) for a man's visitor (the man gave her a red envelope of "taking washbasin water as a gift"). If she entertains guests in a restaurant, she can omit this red envelope.

The man also gave red envelopes to all those who had helped him as a thank-you gift.

When the banquet is over, don't say goodbye when the man leaves, so as not to breed complications.

The prospective father-in-law gave the new son-in-law a "face-seeing gift" (omitted).

The prospective mother-in-law sends a "face gift" to her new wife (omitted).

12. The woman who delivers the cake will distribute the engagement wedding cake to relatives and friends, and the bride is not allowed to eat her own wedding cake.

The engagement seems to have nothing to do with the Public Security Bureau. Legally recognized marriage means going to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a marriage certificate.