Classic sentences expressing humor and wit

Classic sentences expressing humor and wit

In our daily life, we can often see classic sentences expressing humor and wit in many aspects. Some classic sentences also enable many of us to understand the relevant meanings. The following classic sentences express humor and wit.

Classic sentences expressing humor 1 1. Marriage means putting on cotton-padded clothes for freedom. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

2. Force me again, and then force me to play dead for you!

3. The beauty of a woman lies in her stupidity without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

He is just a pot of water, which is poured into your rice pile. A few years later, clear water turns into mellow wine, and you become a pile of abandoned rotten rice, which is not useless and can also be used to feed pigs.

You can't treat me as a holiday just because we have a holiday.

6. Sighing is the most time-wasting thing, and crying is the most energy-wasting behavior.

7. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of your death.

8. Rich people are grandfathers! But even more people owe money and don't pay it back!

9. Only by working hard can you get ahead.

10, when you are alive, you are laughed at by others first, then you smile at others, and then you die laughing.

1 1, sometimes I am as optimistic as a fart, always thinking that I can shake the earth.

12, life is when you begin to understand a lot of life, your life is running out.

13, when pants lose their belts, they know what dependence is.

14, many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but it is better to be buried underground than to die in the street.

15, women must be better to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your children!

16, the so-called growth means that when you hear the word "choppy", you will never think of the sea again.

17, if you are angry for one minute, you will lose 60 seconds of happiness.

18, she asked me to turn dung into gold, and I asked her to treat gold as dung.

19, don't play hard now, I'll play with you later!

20. I don't need everyone to nod. I live to make those who don't like me more unhappy.

2 1, a small pot is easy to heat, and a small amount is impatient. The bigger the space in your heart, the more flowers will bloom.

22. If you work, the machine can do it. Then one day, you will become a machine.

23. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes it.

24. If one day I fall down. Remember, I will come to save you.

25. You can love three or five scum, but you can't love a scum three or five times. It may be bad luck to go wrong, but always jumping into the pit is mentally retarded.

26. Others look good when they smile, but you are different. You look funny.

27. You are beyond my imagination, and I am beyond your imagination.

28. When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many unlocked phone numbers on the wall for you.

29. Those who can't get through are all because of short legs!

30. You don't believe I slapped you on the wall but couldn't get it off!

I think the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

Whether you are doing well or not is unknown to others, but everyone knows when you are fat.

I don't mind you lying to me. What I care about is that your lies can't fool me.

What do you mean, don't die? This is about being angered 10 thousand times a day, but still not quitting.

After being with you for so long, I finally found that you look like a person.

6. I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be princesses when they meet me?

7. Some people seem to be well-informed, but even Peggy Piggy has never seen the inside story behind them.

8. Those who look good and like to eat are called foodies, and those who look bad and like to eat are called gits!

9. I found a problem. I like to chat with good-looking people. No wonder I always talk to myself.

10, am I your favorite person? Why don't you talk?

1 1. Life is like breathing. Breathing is for breathing, and sucking is for breathing.

12, after the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words are only for people who understand.

13, if I hadn't hit you, I would have turned against you.

14. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

15, I really envy those who have stories. Unlike me, a word "handsome" can run through my life.

16, don't expect to lose weight, Bajie hasn't lost weight after walking hundreds of miles. Besides, he is a vegetarian.

17, thank you for your patronage every time you buy a drink. One day, I suddenly couldn't write Huizi in the exam, so I opened the drink next to me. At that time, I was crazy. Another bottle!

18, I envy those who can be with the people I like. Unlike me, I have long been surrounded by people who like me.

19, one day you will meet a good girl who doesn't want your house, your car, your diamonds and your money, and of course she doesn't want you!

20. Every girl has a dress in her closet called: I used to be bought by a poor dog, but now I think it is ugly.

2 1. There is no money in my wallet. What happened? There is no fish in the fish-flavored shredded pork!

22, life has been tight, today finally a luxury, spend 30% of the video game selfie.

23. You will be much happier if you realize that you are not so important to others.

24. As an optimistic person in others' eyes, you are probably hanging to death, and everyone thinks you are swinging.

25, wardrobe clothes tens of millions, only new is the best!

26. Life is not only the present, but also the invitation of my predecessor.

27. Other people's faces are destined to be seven points, three points by dressing up, one point by your face, and nine points by the filter.

28. Since I saw your household registration photo, I realized that it is so simple to give up someone I like.

29. When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many locks on the wall for you. Phone number.

30. The head on the left is flour, and the head on the right is water. When you think about this problem, your head is full of paste.

3 1. If you are willing to tear my heart layer by layer, I will tell you that you will go to jail.

Everything must end, but if you invite me, I can eat more with you.

33. The face is a thing outside the body. You can have it or not. Money is a must. You must have it.

You see, the rainbow on the other side looked down on me that day because I was brighter than it.

I really don't want to despise you with my toes, but you forced me to do so.

36. People who have traveled all over the brothel are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

37. The earth is in motion, and a person will not be in a bad situation forever.

You can't tolerate me, not because your mind is too narrow, but because my personality is too great.

It's not your fault that you are ugly, it's just that God took a nap. You should have the courage to face everything.

40. I am so heartless and simple, thinking about how to harm people all day.

4 1, once the seas dried up and the rocks crumbled, but it was difficult to gather and disperse.

42. I would rather hit the wall than hit the wall at home.

43. There are no constant promises, only endless lies.

If you don't go that far, who can guarantee that you will live to that day?

45. Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

46. In ancient times, the world was dominated by one sword, but now it is a world of feasting and feasting.

47. Who can have such strong feelings for me as RMB?

48. Since I bought insurance, I don't have to look at the traffic lights when I cross the road!

49. After waking up, I thought I was taller, but the quilt cover was horizontal.

50. We have been practicing smiling and finally become people who are afraid of crying.

Classic sentences expressing humor 3 humorous sentences

1, sorry, I wore a mask and hat to buy a snack, but I was recognized: What do beautiful women eat?

2. Don't ask me anything, and don't ask me anything!

I sincerely want to make money into my hobby.

You are short for life, but my fatness is temporary.

Every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, and the places beyond the reach of hands are all foreign countries. The last toilet is for business, and the last shift is to go abroad.

6. Getting up early can really do many things, for example, going to bed again.

7. No matter how bad my score is, it is my own. I don't hate them!

8. The food is very good when you eat, and you forget everything when you eat it.

9. Lower your social status, make yourself live a little easier and spend every day happily.

10. If I ride a horse, you can call me a groom. If I drive, you can call me a coachman. So if I am in charge of accounting, what should you call me?

1 1. My parents said never to fall in love at school, as if someone would value me.

12, don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of brain disease is that you must have a brain.

13, long time no see, I don't know how ugly you are.

14. Although I have no books, notes, classes or review, I have a heart that I don't want to fail.

15 I found that whenever I take an exam, I have a super power called successfully avoiding all the correct answers.

16, dear, I just want to say to you: I love you, and the happiest thing in this life is the time with you.

17, if you are willing to tear off my heart layer by layer, you will go to jail, and I will tell you.

18, I hate telling me "why did you give up treatment" nonsense, which makes me seem to be saved.

19, I won't say if I kill you. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

20. I seem to be allergic to paper, and I feel uncomfortable every time I do my homework.

2 1, two couples are chatting. The woman asked, honey, people say that women in love will become stupid. Do you think I'm stupid? Male affectionate style: fool, you are so stupid, how can I think you are stupid?

22. If you can't close your eyes in class, can you hold your face?

If you suffer losses, don't drink water, or you will get dirty.

24. I made a mistake at school. The teacher called my parents. May I say that my parents are not here? The teacher said yes. The next day, I carried my three-year-old brother on my back and set foot on the road of no return.

25. I know you don't think of me as a number. In fact, I have never paid attention to you.

26. If there is an afterlife, I hope I will stop being so handsome and be an ordinary person.

There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough one is to borrow money.

28, you have your face value, I have my shorts, not very short, but cool.

29, the lover will eventually buckle meat, and a pig pocket will appear in the lover's eyes. If the relationship lasts for a long time, it is not pork and pork. We want to fly in heaven, like two birds, and I want to be a pig.

In winter, I don't want to ask my roommate for help in class. The news of my heatstroke spread all over the campus the next day.

3 1, if you shed tears, I would like to be the toilet paper in your hand; If you wake up, I will be the shit in your eyes; If you are hot to death, I would like to be the only piece of cloth on you.

Don't gamble your youth on tomorrow. If you lose, there will be no tomorrow.

33. We can't extend the length of life, but we can broaden the width of life. It means: we can't grow taller, but we can gain weight indefinitely.

You only look thin when I am fat, so that I won't look ugly when I am thin.

35. If fat could be sold, it is estimated that I would have been on the Forbes rich list.

36. I hope that rational idolize will not burn her body for me.

37. A typhoon is coming. Please close the doors and windows. If I get blown to your house, I won't leave.

One day you will meet a good girl. She doesn't want your house, your car, your diamonds and your money, and of course she doesn't want you!

39. Don't take too many selfies in your circle of friends. We have all met before.

40.do you smell my malice? Give you a sock to feel it.

4 1, the salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

In Me Before You, I really didn't realize that I had a problem with judging people by their appearances.

43. There are two things in the world that can lie on the glass. One is a gecko, and the other is a class teacher.

44. The most wonderful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a catty, grow a catty, and always treat each other sincerely.

45. The math teacher led us to swim in the ocean of learning. He went ashore and we drowned.

46. Your mother made you so beautiful, not to let others spoil you, but to spoil others.

47. You called me short. You are a joke, but you will never look up in front of me.

48. There are always a few grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, then blue, then purple, then green, and finally he left me.

49. Because I broke up with the quilt this morning, the quilt is very cold for me now.

50. The biggest pain in life is that I didn't see the rainbow after the storm and caught a cold.

5 1, you really don't look down on fat people, you are crazy about losing weight.

Please don't call me an otaku in the future, please tell me to close the house. Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie.

Give me a chance to be a dog, and I will jump on you without hesitation.

54. Love you until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble! Your face looks forward to it day and night! I just want to be with you all my life! Don't regret forever! Read the first word of each sentence together!

I never talk about people, but I always talk about myths.

Don't send me any holiday wishes during the Chinese New Year. Red envelopes can make me feel your sincerity.

57. Violence cannot solve the problem, but it can alleviate anger.

58. You don't like me. This is a disease. If you can cure it, you must cure it.

People with few eyebrows can't be friends, so taking a photo won't make them white, because once they turn white, their eyebrows will disappear.

60. I was also an infatuated seed, but I was killed by lightning.

6 1. Being in a daze well done is called profound. If you don't do well, you are likely to fall asleep.

62. There are many things that you couldn't figure out at that time. Don't worry. If you think about it again after a while, you won't remember it.