Specific content of three books and six rites

The "Three Books" are documents used in the process of marriage, which can be said to be an effective written record to guarantee marriage in ancient times. It means:

Letter of appointment: namely letter of appointment. When Naji (a man and a woman are engaged), the man's family gives the book to the woman's family.

Gift book: a document used in the ceremony, which lists the items and quantities of the ceremony.

Wedding book: that is, the document to marry the bride. It is the certificate that the man gave to the woman when he came in to greet the bride.

Six rites

"Six Rites" refers to the six rites in the process of marriage:

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When the children get married, the parents of the man's family ask the matchmaker to propose marriage to the found woman's family. When accepting gifts, the man's family needs to send about 30 kinds of auspicious gifts to the woman's family; The woman's family also asked the matchmaker about the man's family at this time. Marriage customs of ancient Han nationality. It is very popular in many parts of the country. At the beginning of the Six Rites, the man wants to marry the woman, and the man sends a matchmaker to the woman's house to propose marriage as a gift. After being approved, please ask the matchmaker to formally accept the bride's "spouse selection ceremony". After preliminary discussion, if the woman is interested, the man sends a matchmaker to formally propose to the woman's family and carries a certain gift, so it is called. Goose is the only gift from Gunnar Chua Li. Acceptance is the beginning of all marriage procedures. The ceremony of accepting gifts in later generations basically follows the weekly system, while gifts have other provisions. Yi Li Shi's Faint Rites: "Faint Rites, Order to Receive Gifts. Use geese. " Zheng Xuan's Note: "If you want to marry him, you must first make the matchmaker understand what he said, and the woman will allow it, and then make people accept it." Its gift is a goose. Later generations gradually added gifts. In the Ming Dynasty, Chen Yan and her gifts were in the hall. In Qing Dynasty, Chen Yi, a wedding guest, was invited into the palace, and the book was fatal. The person who presided over the ceremony received the book and sued the guests of the temple. The number of jewels collected by ordinary people is limited to four. Customized at the beginning of Yongzheng, Han people get married, more than four items, limited to eight items of silk, satin and jewelry, and limited to ten items of food and drink. Less than five years old, less than eight years old. Dual-use? There are only four boxes of silk and fruit. On the day of the official wedding, the official deacons were used, and 12 people carried lights and drums. Next to the official, there are eight people, with lights and drums. It is forbidden to waste money, and all officials and people are not allowed to use the gift cloud.

Q. Name

That is, after the woman's parents accept the proposal, the woman's family will bring her daughter's age to the man's family, so that men and women are right and good luck will be good.

The second ceremony of "Six Rites" in the Western Zhou Dynasty. The ceremony of "asking the name" was first seen in Yili: "Marriage has six ceremonies, namely, accepting the gift, asking the name, taking a concubine, accepting the levy, inviting the party, and welcoming the relatives." He also said: "Ask the name: whoever asks the name will have good or bad luck." "The Book of Rites Fang Zhu" also said: "If you ask a name, you should ask the girl's mother's name." When asking names, use geese as gifts. "The Legend of the White Tiger" Volume 4 "Marriage" said: "Take talents, ask names, take luck, invite parties, and greet the wedding with geese." Zheng Na said "Meng Xuan", so there is no need for geese. After the ceremony, the man asked the matchmaker to ask the woman's name, date and time of birth, so that the man could ask whether he was married and whether it was good or bad. Or think that asking the name is the man's messenger asking the woman's birth mother's surname, so as to distinguish between true and false. The scope of the query after the name extends to family status, position, property, appearance, health and many other aspects. When you ask your name, you must bring a gift, usually a goose. Betel nut is often used as a gift for ethnic minorities in Hainan, Guangdong and southwest China. The woman's wedding card and the man's birthday were divined, and it was confirmed that they could get married before the Naji ceremony. Marriage etiquette is the second of the six rites. In other words, the man sent a matchmaker to the woman's house to ask her name and birthday. After getting Geng Tie back, Buji folded his character. In the Soul of Li Yi's Poems: "What's your name, Bin Zhi Yan?" Inviting guests to give lectures with the permission of the host. "Zheng Xuan's Note:" Anyone who asks his name will have good or bad luck. "Jia said," if you want to ask the name, ask the woman's last name. "

Najib

(also known as Guo): After receiving the Geng Tie, it will be placed in front of the gods or ancestors to ask about good and bad luck, so as to make sure that the characters of the two sides do not conflict. After learning that there are no signs of contradiction between the two sides, they have initially agreed to get married.

Folding nano sign

(also called gifts): that is, the man's family gives the letter of appointment and gifts to the woman's family. One month to two weeks before the wedding, the man's family will ask two or four female relatives (must be Quanfu) to make an appointment with the matchmaker and bring the bride price, gift money and dowry to the woman's family; At this point, the woman needs to return the gift. Conscription: Marriage custom of ancient Han nationality. It is very popular in many parts of the country. The fourth of "Six Rites" is also called "South City". That is, Naji, the male family, sends dowry to the female family. Confucius' Book of Rites Ying Da: "Those who take the levy will also take the money. Sign, into also. Take money first, then get married. " After this ceremony, the engagement was completely established. Marriage customs of ancient Han nationality. It is very popular in many parts of the country. The fourth of "Six Rites" is also called "South City". That is, Naji, the male family, sends dowry to the female family. Confucius' Book of Rites Ying Da: "Those who take the levy will also take the money. Sign, into also. Take money first, then get married. " After this ceremony, the engagement was completely established. Eleven notes in the Book of Jin: "In the eighth year of Taikang, a minister played: get married, tie silk at the big wedding, and add one horse and two horses." Ministers gathered silks, added treasures and rode horses. "Doctors use Zi Xuan to tie silk, and then add sheep." Gifts used in the Song Dynasty no longer follow Zhou Zhi, gold, silver, silk and silks, depending on their grades. The dowry in Ming Dynasty advocated frugality. "Thirty-one Records of the Ming Dynasty" official wedding: "Take a sign as an auspicious instrument, add a mysterious scroll, bundle silks, and write letters without geese." The ceremony followed the Song system: "The guest delivered a speech saying: An official pays more attention to a couple and follows the ceremony." If you have any extra money, please take it. The person who presided over the wedding said, "An official should get a heavy gift, but some people dare not accept it. "The guest should give a letter to the married person, and the married person should also give a letter." In modern times, there was no name of "taking levy", but there was a gift, or it was combined with taking levy, or it was called taking money. 1920 "yingshan county annals": "there were six marriages in ancient times: accepting gifts, asking names, Najib, accepting levies, inviting parties and welcoming people. Today, we just accept gifts and coins. "

Invitation date

(also called begging day): that is, the man chooses a good day to get married and obtains the consent of the woman.

Meet sb. in person

(or wedding banquet): On the wedding day, the groom in full dress will personally take the matchmaker, relatives and friends to the bride's house. Before the groom goes to the woman's house, he needs to go to the ancestral temple of the woman's house and then send the bride to the man's house in a sedan chair. After the ceremony of offering sacrifices to heaven, land and ancestors, the male family was sent to the bridal chamber.

Historical origin

The traditional marriage custom of "Three Books and Six Rites" has a long history and can be traced back to the Western Zhou Dynasty. The "Six Rites" of the Western Zhou Dynasty had an important influence on the marriage form of later generations.

Chinese ancient books "The Book of Rites" and "The Book of Rites" all discuss this. "The Book of Rites" says: "Those who are unconscious of rites must be in the interests of the two families, living in the upper-class temple and succeeding the later generations. Therefore, what men value most is accepting gifts, asking names, receiving gifts and inviting parties in unconscious ceremonies. All the masters are just a few outside the door. When they enter the concession, they guard the temple, worship outside the door, and they are promoted. According to the Book of Rites, "there are six gifts when confused, such as receiving gifts, asking names, receiving gifts, inviting parties and welcoming guests". It can be seen that this traditional marriage custom originated in the Western Zhou Dynasty. It is generally believed that this marriage custom was established in the Qin Dynasty and then used in the Han Dynasty.

Bride gift return

Bridal gift/gift (from the groom's house to the bride's house)

When recruiting, the man's family needs engagement money, gift money and bride price.

Among them: (even number-meaning "yes person")

One load of seafood (the style and quantity depend on the economic situation): Nostoc flagelliforme (required), abalone, oyster sauce, scallop, mushroom, dried shrimp, squid, sea cucumber, shark's fin and fish belly. Three livestock chickens (two pairs) and pork (3-5kg): one piece is connected with two pieces, meaning "Qi Fei"; fish (big fish or shad): two pairs of coconuts, meaning coconuts and wine (four pieces): dried longan, dried taste branches, dried peaches and dried peaches.

return a salute

When the bride is married, the woman's family needs to return the gift, which mainly includes:

Tea-knotted lotus root, taro and pomegranate (one pair each) He Wei towel pants: meaning longevity and wealth shoes (one pair): meaning to go with the old cypress ginger tea fried muffin and then hire a golden coconut (if you accept one, the rest will go to the man's house): meaning Ichiro to the end.

Ancient marriage custom

The age of marriage in ancient times was different from dynasty to dynasty. In the Spring and Autumn Period, men can get married at 20 crowns, while women 16. He also said that "men marry at 30 and women marry at 20" so as not to delay time. There is a clear record in the History of Emperor Hui of Han Dynasty: "If a woman is over 15 to 30 years old and does not marry, it will be counted as five." "Five calculations" is to punish her for paying five times the tax. In fact, the phenomenon of early marriage in ancient China was also very serious. In the Song Dynasty, it was stipulated that "every 65,438 +05 for men and 65,438 +03 for women were married". Ban Zhao Biography of the Later Han Dynasty records that Ban Zhao was "four years old, holding a dustpan and broom in Cao Shi". In the Biography of Shangguan Empress, there is even a record of "being a queen one month later, only six years old". But they are usually around 20 years old. In ancient times, men went to a woman's house to visit their wives, all at night. "In the Soul of Li Yi's Poems" said: "The faint ceremony is issued." Zheng Xuan said: "A gentleman's wedding is famous for being numb." Yang goes to Yang, Yin comes, and the sun enters the third business. "Moreover," the master is a knight, a petticoat, a donkey, and his entourage is Bi. He takes a motorcycle, two rides from the car, and a candle in front of the horse ". In other words, everyone who gets married wears black, and horses and chariots also wear black. This custom is very different from the wedding custom of marrying the bride and wearing red clothes during the day in later generations. Since the Tang dynasty, the time for welcoming relatives has been changed to morning. According to Tang Duan Shicheng's "Youyang Miscellany", it is recorded: "Courtesy, marriage will be faint, and the yang will go and the yin will come. I salute you at dawn today. "Dawn is coming. Since then, it has been with you. In ancient times, the attitude of the new bride was also very particular. According to "Lu's Spring and Autumn Annals", "When Keiko came out, he told people:' People have a new wife, and the woman is here, so it is appropriate to be safe and respectful. "As the saying goes," I respect cigarettes to be charming ",and the businessman said," I respect cigarettes to be charming, which is a detailed description of the bride's state. However, it is understandable but difficult to explain. Those who are safe and calm; Proud people are cautious; Smokers, eye wave flow is not straight; Charm the walker, no longer shy to retreat, gentle and charming. But all brides are new to the door, but they lose their identity. When they got married in the Han Dynasty, they all pitched tents with green curtains and held sacrificial ceremonies. The article "Shi Shuo Xin Yu Fake Money" records: "When I was young, I competed with Yuan Shao to be a ranger. Seeing others get married, I cried at night because I sneaked into my master's garden:' There is a thief!' Everyone in Lu Qing is gone. Wei Wu came in and pulled out a knife to rob the bride. "This custom of getting married in Lu Qing continued until the Qing Dynasty, and it was also mentioned in Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio. According to historical records, in the Han Dynasty, there was a custom of celebrating the wedding and listening to the house on the wedding night. According to the "Han Xuandi Ji", "Five years of prosperity, saying:' The ceremony of husband's marriage is also the most important. Wine and food, so the salute is also fun. There are two thousand stones in this county or township, and intermarriage is forbidden. It is not allowed to celebrate with wine and food, because it is a waste of the ceremony of the township party and makes people unhappy, so it is not for the guidance of the people. "The purpose of the imperial edict of Xuan Di is to encourage people to hold banquets at weddings. According to the biography of Wei Yuan's wife in Han Dynasty, after Mr. and Mrs. Wei Yuan entered the bridal chamber, the couple whispered, "My brother raised it first, but the world thought it was funny. If your sister is not feeling well, can you go first? "Yes," said the concubine, "my sister has done a great job, but she has not been treated well, unlike contempt." He asked again, "Mr. Nanjun learned the poor way and his style of writing was Ci. But what's wrong with his position, that is, losing goods and wealth? " Yes: "The Great Sage of Confucius is bound to be destroyed by Wu Shu; Lutz is wise, and Liao Bo. Jia Jun got this, which is just right for him. " You can't bow your head in silence. The listener outside the account is ashamed. It can be proved that there was a custom of listening to rooms in Han Dynasty. In addition, there is a custom in ancient marriage customs that is different from later generations, that is, ancient women are not afraid of remarriage, from the Zhou Dynasty to the Northern Song Dynasty. According to Li Tan Gong, after the death of Confucius' son, Wife Marries Wei also recorded: "Zisi's mother died in Wei, and Zisi cried in the temple. The master said,' The Shu family's mother is dead, so why are you crying in the Confucius Temple? Zisi said,' I passed! I passed! Is crying in his room. "Visible son-in-law of the descendants of saints is also inevitable to remarry. Wei, Jin, Tang and Song Dynasties, the daughter of a famous family remarried. "The History of the Three Kingdoms, Wu Zhi and his wife's biography" records: Mrs. Bu "gave birth to two women, long called Lu Ban, the word big tiger, following Zhou, following Quan Cong; Less called Lu Yu, the word Xiaohu, before Zhu Ju, after Liu Bian. Shang Dynasty's Textual Research on Social Customs in Past Dynasties quoted an essay with the Garden as saying: "The princess in the Tang Dynasty remarried twenty-three, three married four." Moreover, at that time, whether the ex-husband saw her husband or the husband saw her ex-husband, there was no need to avoid it. After Lu You, a poet in the Song Dynasty, divorced his ex-wife Tang Wan, she once went to Shenyuan and met Tang Wan and her later husband Zhao Shicheng. Tang and Ye Zhao gave Lu You food and drink. As a result, Lu You was moved and wrote an article "Hairpin Phoenix" on the wall on the spot. (See Miscellaneous Knowledge for details. It can be seen that it is normal for women to remarry in the Tang and Song Dynasties. It was not until the Ming and Qing dynasties that women remarried, and the ethics did not allow it, so there was the saying of chastity archway.

Modern relics

Until the wedding customs and etiquette in modern China, especially in some rural areas, we can still see the obvious traces of the "Six Wedding Rites". However, in the modern wedding etiquette in China, the wedding etiquette of "three books and six gifts" has been simplified, and generally follows some etiquette such as proposing marriage, receiving gifts (that is, giving gifts) and welcoming the bride (that is, receiving the bride). In modern wedding etiquette, the gathering of three books and six ceremonies is a relatively complete and well-paid traditional etiquette.