Friendship between the elders and the younger generation.

Elders and young people usually form the friendship between parents and children. Friendship parents usually bear the responsibility of disciplining and caring for their children, and their responsibilities are generally not as important as their biological parents. Yi parents are also called adoptive parents, sending parents off and adoptive parents. This kind of friendship is also called worshipping the house owner and the house mother.

In ancient times, friendly parents sometimes had to bear the responsibility of raising their children, especially when their biological parents had died or were unable to raise their children. The difference between adoptive parents and adoptive parents is that although the former is close to his adopted son, it is still not a formal family; The latter is a formal kinship, regarded as blood relatives, and the title is no different from that of biological parents and children. Sometimes when people of the same age form a friendship, they will identify each other's parents as friendship parents.

If the age difference between the two parties is very far, which is already the age difference between grandparents and grandchildren, they will be regarded as grandparents, sometimes including their parents and their parents, their parents or their parents, and their relationship with their children.

Children and grandchildren should also be filial to their parents and grandparents. They should respect and care for their parents as before, and they should worship their ancestors after they die. Out of emotional friendship

Some friends who forget to celebrate the New Year will form a friendship relationship between parents and children, and the big ones are the relationship between parents and friends. If the parents of friendship are well-behaved and knowledgeable people, the children of friendship can also benefit from friendship. Nowadays, some people who love children will treat their friends' children as friendship children, especially those who have no children of their own. They think that fucking children can enjoy playing with children. Some parents hope that their children will be loved by more people, grow up healthily and happily, and find friends for their children.

In recent years, many big cities in Greater China have experienced the phenomenon of declining birthrate. Some couples don't want or can't have more children (under Chinese mainland's one-child policy, many couples can't have more children if they want to, otherwise they will be considered as "super-children" and will be fined), but they want to enjoy having more children, so they recognize more sons and daughters. Some parents want their only child to learn to be filial and get along with others. They will also let their children adopt their parents and help them educate their children. At the same time, they will also let their children adopt their parents' children as adoptive brothers and sisters, so that they can have playmates.

The problem of urban population aging in Greater China is becoming more and more serious. Some old people recognize some adopted children without their children. Some young people are also willing to admit that the elderly are adoptive parents and take care of the elderly, which not only meets each other's emotional needs, but also helps the elderly in their daily lives.

Some people and friends will recognize each other's children as adopted sons, and the two families will use this relationship to enhance their feelings and continue this friendship to the next generation. Some people, because one party is kind to the other, repay their kindness by recognizing relatives and maintain a long-term relationship. Japan has a recognition of the family master as a godparent, and it also has the function of bringing the family closer to separation again.

Friendship related to numerology and superstition

There is a saying in numerology that if you or your spouse have an extramarital affair or remarriage, it can be solved through the identification of friendly children. This view holds that the biological father or mother of a friendship child is equal to the nominal husband or wife of himself or his spouse (in fact, there is no love or sexual relationship), which can avoid marriage problems. Some children punish their parents, and parents use "visiting relatives" to shift their fate to ensure the prosperity of the family.

In addition, some children have defects in their lives, which are sometimes solved by recognizing their parents. The so-called "two fathers's two mothers are blessed and fortunate in misfortune, which reflects parents' wishes for their children. "Some parents' lives show that they have no children. In order to keep the children, they find friends for them, which symbolizes giving them away to others. The Zhuang area in Guangxi is called "Baiqi", and some parents will find friends for their children to help them fill in the eight characters. In Xichang, Sichuan, parents are called "parents" and "mothers", which also reflects their protective role for their children. Some people choose poor people with many children as adoptive parents, thinking that children in families with many children are not delicate and tend to grow up like flocks of small animals.

In Japan, if many children in a family die one after another, or if their parents are considered unlucky, the children will be abandoned outside when they are born again, and the godmother arranged by their parents in advance will "pick them up". The other is that after the child is born, the family or parents are unfortunate and entrusted to the lucky people to "pick it up", which is called "the mother of picking it up".

Some friendship ceremonies, such as the custom of asking friendly parents to name their children, also mean that children are expected to grow up healthily with the help of friendly parents.

In addition, some people regard immortals as godmothers, also known as "gas gods". Common gods such as Guanyin, Mazu, Tugong and Guan Gong are regarded as godmothers, while others regard natural objects such as stones and trees as godmothers, which may be the legacy of primitive religious worship. God is generally confined to unmarried people. When you are ready to get married, you must pay God to show that you have grown up and thank him for his blessing.

Slavery in disguise

During the Ming and Qing Dynasties, Fujian maritime merchants had the custom of adopting sons. According to Zhou Kai's "Customs and Habits in Xiazhang", they bought poor boys as a contract, raised them like their own sons, sent them to the sea, and earned more money for their wives and concubines. Fu Yiling thinks this is a disguised form of slavery.

Wang Wenfang's supplementary notes and bamboo slips contain a document "Relying on the Body", which is dedicated to just people (behaviors). Excerpts are as follows:

"Foundation: (the name of the convert) is from the county of (the name of the government). Because his family is poor and has no food, Yangzhong (the name of the convert) is willing to take refuge in a government as a righteous man ..."

This system is popular because people engaged in maritime trade don't want their sons to go out to take risks, so they buy poor people's houses as deeds, and poor people also want to get rich in this way.

Make friends who are interested.

Some people make friends in order to cling to power or exchange interests.

Many treacherous court officials in the Ming Dynasty, Yan Song and Wei Zhongxian, were regarded as michel platini, and Yan Song had more than 30 adopted sons. At the time of Wei Zhongxian's greatest power, many officials in the DPRK were his adopted sons, such as "Five Tigers", "Five Tigers", "Ten Dogs", "Ten Children" and "Forty Grandsons", and he himself once regarded Wei Chao as his adoptive father.

During the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, there was an Hanlin who, in order to get a trial position, attached himself to powerful people and asked his wife to worship the wife of a university student as a foster mother and Liang, a senior minister, as Platini. Every time Liang went to the early dynasty, Mrs. Hanlin put the beads on her chest to keep warm, and then hung them herself.

In the late Qing Dynasty, it was still common to worship parents as friends. For example, Sheng Xuanhuai worshipped Li Hongzhang as michel platini and Chen Bi worshipped Yi Kuang as michel platini. He soon became an assistant minister and later he was promoted to the post office. In addition to worshipping their godmothers, there are also wives and children who worship others as godmothers. For example, Yu Lang is a subordinate of Zhu Shan, the minister of civil affairs. At that time, he was an assistant minister In order to please Zhu Shan, he asked his Fujin to worship Zhu Shan's mother as a foster mother. Later, he asked Fujin to worship Wu Fujin of Yi Kuang as his foster mother. During Yi Kuang's presidency, he became the Minister of Military Aircraft.

In order to get in touch with official documents, Hu Linyi made his concubine worship the official document's wife as her adoptive mother. Zhao Xi, a Taoist inspector in Jiangxi Province in the late Qing Dynasty, wrote two poems, Guang He Ju Bi Ti Poems, satirizing this flattering kinship.

This kind of friendly child is actually the hand of friendly parents, so it is often promoted. Because this relationship is based on interests, the feelings of both sides are unstable and there are often suspicions. Some of them will break up and even kill each other because of conflicts of interest. The biography of Lu Bu in the later Han Dynasty recorded that Dong Zhuo and Lu Bu became righteous father and son, and Lu Bu was very loved by his adoptive father. Soon, he was promoted to commander of the Legion and the capital of Hou Ting. Once, Lu Bu angered Dong Zhuo, who threw a halberd at him and almost killed him. Later, Lu Bu went to Wang Yun and told him that he was almost killed by Dong Zhuo. Wang Yun and Lu Bu discussed the eradication of Dong Zhuo. At first, Lu Bu was unwilling because of the righteous father-son relationship. Later, Wang Yun told him that he and Dong Zhuo were not real fathers and sons, and Dong Zhuo didn't care about the love between father and son when he threw Ji at him. At that time, Lu Bu was having an affair with Dong Zhuo's maid-in-waiting, fearing being discovered, and killed Dong Zhuo regardless of his son's feelings.

Some people even worship younger people as adoptive parents in order to attach themselves to powerful people or gain benefits. In order to please Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty and Yang Guifei, An Lushan took Yang Guifei, who was twenty years younger than him, as his adoptive mother. Every time, he went to see Yang Guifei first, and then to see Emperor Xuanzong of Tang Dynasty. "See his mother first, then his father." However, later the Anshi Rebellion, Shi Siming rebelled, which was called the Anshi Rebellion in history. This rebellion also triggered the change of Ma Wei, and her "foster mother" Yang Guifei was also strangled in this mutiny. After the Five Dynasties, Shi Jingtang worshipped the young Khitan monarch Yeludeguang as his adoptive father and called himself "the son emperor", which also belonged to this category.

Now some people think that people with certain social and economic status are adoptive parents in order to give them a backer. In recent years, the corruption cases of some officials and cadres in Chinese mainland are all the collusion of adoptive parents. Some criminals regard officials as relatives and shelter them, making public security worse.

Some people who originally recognized kinship for the benefit later developed into real kinship and formed another form of nepotism.

other

In addition to the above reasons, there is also the relationship between the wet nurse and the suckling child, which can also be regarded as a kind of friendship, because the East Asian tradition holds that the suckling child grows up in the wet nurse's milk, and the wet nurse will have the grace of feeding, so it is necessary to be filial to the wet nurse. Japan calls a wet nurse who is regarded as a foster mother "the mother of breastfeeding".

In addition, the traditional mentoring relationship in East Asia is also a kind of friendship. China has a tradition of "being a teacher for one day and being a father (mother) for life". Being a disciple requires a certain ceremony, which is stronger than the ordinary mentoring relationship, so there is also a mentoring relationship.

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The above models are only common reasons for friendship, and friendship relationships that combine two or more reasons are also common. For example, in order to make their children grow up safely, parents find friends who like their children as friends. Some adoptive parents and their children buy and sell or exchange interests, and establish feelings in getting along. Others became friends out of affection and later became nepotism in public office. In Japan, apart from the fact that biological mothers are unable or unwilling to breastfeed, there are also some reasons why parents want to bring good luck to their children and invite lucky women to be wet nurses. After friendship, financial assistance between parents and children is also common, and it is also a form of expressing feelings.

There are also some friendships that are both interesting and emotional. For example, in the Qing Dynasty, a little maid-in-waiting wanted to worship an old eunuch with prestige and favor as michel platini. After entering the palace, the little maid-in-waiting separated from her family and worshipped the eunuch as michel platini, which could make up for the loss of her father's love and gain a backer in the palace. Eunuchs have no children or daughters. If they recognize the little maid-in-waiting as their adopted daughter, they can enjoy their children's devotion under their knees, pay their father's love to the little maid-in-waiting, and the adopted daughter can also do things for herself.

There will also be some people who were really friends, but later broke up because of some things, and even turned against each other.

Therefore, friendship parents and children, like other interpersonal relationships, have emotional ties and cannot be completely separated from economic relations. Guangdong:

Guangdong (including Hong Kong and Macao) is called Shang Qi, and the relationship between parents and friends is called "Chyi Chin family". Choose a good auspicious day, parents prepare incense sticks and a pig's head for their children, and some gifts. After dressing the children, take them to their homes in Ye Qi (Yi Fu) and Ma Qi (Mu Yi). When the auspicious moment comes, they will light incense sticks, pray to the gods and invite the future Ye Qi and Ma Qi to sit at the dinner table. The children will kneel and kowtow to Ye Qi and Ma Qi and offer tea. The baby was held by its mother and bowed to Ye Qi and Ma Qi. Then, Master Qi and Mother Qi will give Qi Zi (sister son) or Qi Zi (sister daughter) a bonus (red envelope) and invite Qi Zi or Qi Zi to dinner with new bowls, chopsticks and spoons, symbolizing the responsibility of raising Qi Zi's children. Some parents will give their children gold bowls, chopsticks and spoons to show their solemnity. On holidays, children should visit and give gifts, and parents should be filial after death.

Sichuan:

Tongjiang Town, Deyang, Sichuan will dress up their young children at the local festival "Li Huahui", let the one-year-old wait for the right person under the plum tree, and then ask that person if he wants to get married. If the other party agrees, the children will kowtow to this person, which is called a gift of worship, and worship this person as michel platini or godmother. Michel platini or godmother will be invited to dinner, michel platini or godmother will give their adopted son some money, and some will give them nicknames.

Shaanxi:

After the baby's full moon, parents shave and change clothes for the baby, and then parents or grandparents will take the baby out "by chance" to make friends with the first adult they meet. When you meet an adult male, you worship him as your godmother (michel platini), and adult women worship him as their godmother; Old men are worshipped as godfathers (grandfathers) and old women as godmothers (grandmothers). Then please visit each other, prepare gifts three days later and hold the baby at home. The worshippers served wine and gave the baby clothes and hats. Since then, the two families have become in-laws. Some people you meet are random, but in most cases, friends or celebrities are arranged in advance and become the first people to "meet".

Henan:

The customs in Zhengzhou, Kaifeng and hua county are similar to those in Shaanxi, and they are called "touching surnames". The difference is that in the morning after the baby is born, the father will take the baby out to touch the surname. The first person he meets, regardless of gender and age, his father will kowtow to him or her and explain the reasons, and ask the other person to give the child a nickname. If you want to officially consider yourself a godparent, the person you meet will give your child a gift. People who are unmarried or childless in Huaxian County, or those who have young sons, dare not adopt their sons, thinking that they will lose their own sons if they recognize their adopted sons, that is, "the adopted sons are wet."

One of the ways of recognizing parents in Xingyang is similar to that in Sichuan, Shaanxi and Changdao County, Shandong Province, and is called "Ben surname". When the child is full moon or born more than 100 days, the first person parents meet with the child at sunrise is husband and wife. The other is more common in baby boys. The family of the baby boy will lock the door on his nose. At the full moon, whoever comes to his house first is asked to unlock the lock, and the person who unlocks the lock is regarded as an adoptive parent. Every year when a child goes to the adoptive parents' house on his birthday, the adoptive mother will send a lock, one for each year, until 12 years old. These days, dry parents want to buy clothes for their dry children, which is called "lock", indicating a strong relationship, and then take off the lock, which is called "unlocking" In the future, every major festival, wedding, funeral and wedding, the two dry relatives will be the host.

In Zhoukou area, people whose surnames are Liu (homophonic "Liu") or Cheng (homophonic "Cheng") are adopted parents, meaning "Liu" but not going, "Cheng" but not dying. After that, a similar symbolic birth ceremony will be held. The foster mother will first make a pair of big open-backed pants so that the adopted son can put them on and get out of the crotch.

The custom of practicing martial arts is to "touch relatives", which is similar to that in Sichuan, Shaanxi and Changdao County, Shandong Province. The father went out with the child in his arms. If the first person he meets has many children, he (she) is regarded as the godmother (michel platini) or adoptive mother of the children, while if the other person has few children, he (she) is introduced to a family with many children, so that the children can recognize their parents.

Beijing:

Beijingers think that adopting their own children will be bad for their own children, so they generally only accept the children of close friends as adopted children. The two sides held a friendship ceremony on auspicious day. The biological parents should hold a banquet, prepare gifts for their children, and pay tribute to michel platini and dopted mother. The gifts must include hats for michel platini, shoes for dopted mother, and cloth. The gifts that michel platini and godmother give their adopted sons and daughters must include chopsticks and a longevity lock. Because it is considered unlucky to break chopsticks, they are mostly made of materials that are not easy to break, such as wood and metal. Gifts for adopted children include clothes, shoes and socks, hats, bibs and stomachs. After three festivals and two birthdays every year, families with godchildren will give gifts to michel platini and godmother, and michel platini and godmother will also give gifts back. Because of the heavy cost, usually only wealthy families will do this.

Shandong:

The customs of Changdao County and Mengyin County are similar to those of Sichuan and Shaanxi. In Long Island County, when his father went out with his child in his arms, the first adult man he saw was considered to be michel platini. In Mengyin County, when you go out and meet the first person with a physical surname, no matter men, women and children, you will think you are a godmother. Unmarried people are temporarily called uncles and aunts, and when they get married, they will be renamed as michel platini or adoptive mother.

In Jiaoxian, the parents of children should buy a pair of trousers and a leg strap (now changed to two belts) for their adoptive mother. Foster parents should dress their children and put needles (homophonic with "truth") and green onions (homophonic with "cong") to show sincerity and wish their children wisdom. In jiaozi, adopted children can't eat at home for three years, and adopted parents will wrap jiaozi for the adopted children with new bowls and chopsticks.

In Linqu, the foster mother must have many children according to the zodiac. During the ceremony, the foster mother wore a fat crotch made by her child's family, the parents of the child wrote articles in red cloth, burned incense and handed in documents, and the child leaked out of the crotch of the foster mother, indicating that it was her own, and then lined up with the foster mother's children.

Jiaodong area should first make a pair of fat open-crotch pants for the foster mother, let the child pass through the crotch, which symbolizes that the child is born to the foster mother, and then let the child and the foster mother's child line up together.

In Taian area, people surnamed Liu are often asked to adopt their mothers. This is because "Liu" and "Liu" are homophonic, and they think it can keep the children.

Rongcheng adopted her mother because her adopted son bit off the button on her skirt, symbolizing her own child who had eaten her mother's milk. The adoptive mother will give clothes as gifts to her adopted son. Both parents call each other "in-laws". The adopted children call the couple "michel platini" and "dopted mother", and they call each other brothers and sisters.

There are also people in Haiyang who choose romantic women as foster mothers.

Yi people:

Similar to Sichuan, Shaanxi and Shandong Changdao County, it is called "name collision". Before the child is one year old, parents choose an auspicious day, build a small bridge with branches on the path with their children, and let the children worship michel platini and dopted mother as the first people to cross the bridge; If the first person you meet is a child, let the child worship his parents as michel platini and godmother. People who are met can't refuse to make friends. The ceremony was held on the spot. Michel platini and godmother were served food and wine, and michel platini or godmother gave the child a nickname. Gifts must be given to the adopted child, and then the child must be carried across the bridge three times, indicating that the child will get rid of the entanglement of the disease from now on. I will visit the children's home again and keep in touch with them in the future.

Tujia nationality:

A ritual for Tujia people to recognize godmother is that children kowtow to adults three times, and then call each other michel platini and godmother.

For young or particularly delicate children, the ceremony is similar to that in Jiaodong, Shandong. Dopted mother will put on a particularly fat red trousers during the ceremony, sit on the kang and leak the child out of her crotch. Then dopted mother gives the child a long life lock and gives the baby a name. After that, the children will eat with the bowls and chopsticks given by michel platini and dopted mother, that is to say, the children are their children and eat their family's meals. Mothers who deliver babies: that is, midwives are recognized as foster mothers. Midwives who are recognized as foster mothers will give gifts to their adopted sons at the middle and end of the year and carry him to visit the shrine. Some will help him find a marriage partner as a matchmaker. After the mother who delivered the baby dies, the adopted son will also carry the coffin with the adopted mother's own child.

Pick up a relative: As mentioned above, when parents or children are unlucky, they will find a lucky person to "pick up a relative" and treat their children as godfathers and godmothers.

Naming relatives: In traditional Japanese customs, children are named by people other than their parents, and those who name their children also become godparents. The custom of Tangtang Island in Xishan Village, Yamanashi Prefecture Before the child was born, the parents had already named the child. In the first month after a child is born, parents will send towels to his name, and then give the child a name at major ceremonies, such as the entrance ceremony and graduation ceremony. Every year, children choose the best words they wrote for the first time and give them to the named parents. Parents will give oranges as gifts.

Recognition of kinship in adult ceremony: Many Japanese will recognize kinship in adult ceremony (Fu Yuanyi style for men, iron paste ceremony or dress ceremony for women). Men are also called relatives of Fu Yuan, while women are also called relatives of iron paste. Usually, the owner of a family is regarded as a godparent, younger than his biological parents, and can continue to protect the children's future after their biological parents die. The soup custom in xishan village, Yamanashi Prefecture is chosen by the children themselves. The custom of honoring relatives is that the son, accompanied by his father, takes wine to the home where he wants to recognize relatives and carries out the "three cups" ceremony.

Acknowledge the godmother at the wedding: The purpose of acknowledging the godmother at the wedding is similar to acknowledging the godmother at the adult ceremony. Some people will ask the godmother recognized at the bar mitzvah ceremony to do it again, and some people will recognize the marriage introducer as the godmother. The bride and groom should address both the parents of the man and the woman's introducer, and maintain a five-year kinship with the woman's introducer, while maintaining a lifelong kinship with the man's introducer. There are many appellations for friendly parents and children, and different regions have different appellations:

Male elders: my father, my father, Michel Platini, Gandy, Ganda, Qi Fu, Qi Fu, Bao Ye, etc.

Female elders: foster mother, foster mother, godmother, foster mother, qi mother, qi mother, qi mother, Bao mother, etc.

Male descendants: Ziyi, Ziyi, adopted son, adopted son, seven sons, seven sons, seven sons and so on.

Female offspring: A person who plays the role of guarantor for the baptized person in the Christian baptism ceremony, such as sister daughter, adopted daughter, contract daughter, etc., is called godfather or godmother. The godparents will teach the baptized (their children) religious knowledge. If the parents who teach their children die unfortunately, the godparents also have the responsibility to take care of their godchildren. Because this relationship is similar to the traditional worship of the godfather and godmother in China, the godfather and godmother are sometimes called friendship parents or contract parents in Chinese.