What did married people do in ancient times?

Six rites is an ancient wedding ceremony in China. The ancient book The Book of Rites. "Faint Rites" uploaded: "Those who are stunned by rituals must be in harmony with the goodness of their two surnames, and they are ancestral halls and inherit future generations, so gentlemen should follow them more. It's about accepting gifts, claiming fame, Naji, collecting levies and inviting parties. The host banquets in the temple several times, but he worships outside the door, enters and obeys the temple, so it is also a matter of respect and prudence. " Another book, Yili, said: "There are six gifts when you are confused, such as receiving gifts, asking names, accepting gifts, inviting parties and welcoming people." This is the traditional custom of "six rites to get married", which was founded in the Western Zhou Dynasty and has been followed by successive dynasties.

"Six rites", that is, six rites, refers to the whole marriage process from proposal to marriage. As the saying goes, "There is no cloud or rain in the sky, and there is no marriage underground." Another "dream of Liang Lu". Volume 20: "The God of marriage is first mediated." Therefore, the matchmaker is an indispensable and important person to conclude a marriage. [ 1]

That is, the man's family asked the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's family, and the woman's family promised to discuss the marriage before the man's family prepared the ceremony.

Propose marriage

"Accepting talents" is the first of the six rites. "Book of Rites. Faint righteousness "day:" Those who receive it are called choosing gifts, so they are stunned and receive geese. " Qin Dynasty explained: "If you want to marry him, you must first make the media understand his words, and the woman's permission is a gift for people to accept his choice." It means that the man proposes to the woman and the matchmaker conveys it. After the woman's family agrees, she will accept the bride price from the man's family. Use "goose" as a gift. "The Book of Rites" "Faint Rites Six, Five Rites Use Goose, and it is also right to accept, ask the name, accept the discipline, invite the date and welcome people." Why use "wild goose"? The author of "Etiquette Mistakes" thinks that "those who take geese as baskets should take them as a friend of Yin and Yang." "White tiger pass. "Marriage" said: "Those who use wild geese should always take them from north to south without losing their festivals, even if they don't take away women. Fly in and out. The wedding ceremony in the Ming Dynasty was orderly and not overstepped. In addition, there is no need to die in the wedding ceremony, so use geese. " Peng Dayi's "White Goose in the North of the Mountain, Late Autumn is an Examination Hall" says: "Poetry in ancient and modern times": Come, come first, frost is called frost letter. Lang Ying's "Seven Revisions of the Draft" holds that "Goose, the book only tells you when you know birds. Lines have priority. So stick to it and accept it. " In addition, the book Yiwen Collection also explains the reasons for using geese from other angles: "Goose is waiting for yin and yang, waiting for time, winter is south, summer is north, so it has a place to live."

According to the above, Nacai and other married geese have three meanings. First, take the yin and yang, and the woman is righteous with her husband. The so-called "geese pluck their hair, trees fall in the south, and ice ripples in the north." The husband is yang, and the woman is yin. Those who use geese take their daughters and follow their husbands' wishes. The second is not to lose time or chapters. Wild geese are migratory birds. Autumn goes and spring comes, and they never break their word. The above three meanings, one of which is yin and yang, are obviously the speculation of Han and Confucianism, which does not conform to the facts of the pre-Qin period. The latter two views have their own merits. If we only look at migratory birds, it seems that justice is not enough to prove it. Swallows were separated from north and south at that time. Why did they bring geese alone? It seems that the use of geese is not only a waste of time, but also the significance of taking action in an orderly manner. Wild geese migrate and fly, with the old strong leading, the young weak following and never crossing. The order of seniority is one of the important principles of Confucian etiquette. It is in line with the Confucian spirit to apply this principle to marriage, so that the young and the old can act in an orderly manner, and not to let uncles and nephews get married across the same gap unless absolutely necessary. This kind of orderly behavior is not found in other migratory birds except geese, so geese are regarded as five gifts. In addition to the above meanings, at that time, the use of wild goose also meant that it would be faithful to its own heart and would not die again. In the Zhou Dynasty, the marriage custom of being loyal to one's own life was advocated by the society. Of course, loyalty not only means that a woman is loyal to a man, but also means that it is meaningful to a man. monogamy

In a wife-based agricultural society, maintaining a certain stability is not only the need of society, but also the need of small-scale peasant families themselves. This situation is reflected in the Book of Songs. "Poetry and Drums" "Life and death are broad, and the child becomes a singer; It's like holding a child and growing old with the child. " "Zheng Feng. Women crow ","talk and drink, and grow old with your son "and" poetry. Feng Wang. "cart", "valley is a different room, and death is the same point. "Poetry strongly reflects people's wish that their spouses will never divorce and grow old together. In order to strengthen social needs, or to remind people of their behavior concepts in family life at all times, a beauty with the attribute of "loyalty to life" was introduced into the wedding. Therefore, the reason why the Five Rites use geese is because the migratory bird "Goose" also means that people need marriage in society.

That is, the man asked the matchmaker to ask the woman's name and date of birth.

There are two kinds of names, one is the name given to the woman when she was born in March. The second is the name, that is, the name. As for the man's name, he was told when he was recruiting, so he only asked the woman's name, not the man. Name-asking ceremony or goose. The order of the ceremony is "guest's words, what's your name, the host allows, the guests enter and are awarded, just like the first ceremony". The purpose of asking names is twofold:

One is to prevent close relatives from getting married with the same surname;

The second is to use the date of birth obtained by asking the name to predict whether the marriage of the parties is appropriate.

That is, after the man retrieved the woman's name and eight characters, he performed divination in the ancestral hall. After getting a good omen, he prepared a gift to inform the woman's family and decided to get married. Zheng Xuan's note: "It's a good omen to return to the temple, and then send an envoy to tell you that the marriage is settled."

Also known as Nabi, it means that the man's family gives the woman's family a dowry.

"Naji" and "Zheng Na", these two ceremonies are often performed together. This is the main procedure of engagement, which Ningbo people call "Wen Ding" and Ninghai people call "Ding Ding", that is, men usually give their betrothal money to their wives in kind and cash. The custom in Ningbo is that according to the age of the woman, one year old carries a load of old wine, 16 years old 16 tons of wine. About 48 silver dollars. In some places, it is also calculated by rice, and the value of a load of rice a year is similar to that of old wine. In this ceremony, both sides draw golden calligraphy posts in red and green, also known as "Dragon and Phoenix Calligraphy Posts". What is written on the post is some auspicious words, but there is a certain formula. Men write "Yang Li Fan Hu, Qin Jiu Si De, Qian Jin Yi Nuo, Guang Sheng Peng Bi"; The woman replied: "One is lucky, three students are in harmony, seven are extremely ashamed, and nine are festive."

The man chooses the wedding date and prepares gifts to inform the woman's family for permission.

"This is a ceremony to invite an auspicious day to greet the bride." That is, the cloud etiquette in the modern sense. "Confucians faint ceremony" said, "Please use the goose, the host says goodbye, and the guests announce the date, such as a reward. "After the man's family decided to get married on an auspicious day by praying to God, he sent someone to tell the woman's family and ask her for advice.

That is, the groom goes to the woman's house to get married.

It is the last procedure of the Six Rites, that is, the groom personally goes to the woman's house to marry the bride. Welcome has two meanings: one is to show the inheritance of matriarchal customs after the transformation from monogamy to husband power system. The man personally went to the woman's house to pick up the bride, showing respect for her. But it also contains the fact that the marriage system of concubinage is irreversible, which shows the strong desire of men for concubinage. In the pre-Qin era, people attached great importance to welcoming relatives, and they held this ceremony many times from Tian Zi to Shu Ren. Wen Ding Jue Xiang, personally welcome Yu Wei. "This is a good sign for Zhou Wenwang. When he gets married, he will see Taisi by the Weihe River. " Han Hou greeted him. He was in the middle of the road, with a hundred Pumbaas and eight dragons. "This is the grand occasion for the princes to welcome each other. On the other hand, if you get married without a wedding, it is considered impolite and will be laughed at by the world. Therefore, Ban Gu said that Confucius' Spring and Autumn Annals was mixed in praise and criticism, and "ridiculed but not welcomed". At that time,

Kissing is regarded as the basic basis for whether the relationship between husband and wife is fully established. If a woman's husband dies before meeting her, she can remarry. But once the husband dies after the wedding ceremony, according to etiquette, the bride can only accept her fate.

The completion of the six rites only means the completion of the adult ceremony, and the "visiting aunt" must be completed the next day, that is, the adult ceremony; If the in-laws are deceased, they will visit them in the temple after March, which is called "See you at the temple fair".

Six rites began in slave society. Although the marriage procedure in feudal society changed several times, it basically did not break away from the scope of the six rites, and the Tang law and the Ming law also had similar provisions. This kind of marriage procedure is the embodiment of the combination of arranged coercion and buying and selling marriage, which is full of strong superstition.

It is usually called "Three Books and Six Rites" together with "Three Books".