What do you mean by "combination"

Marriage is a day or two before marriage, and the woman's family ties her hair and says' above'. Tujia nationality is a nation that pays attention to etiquette. In social activities and family life, it pays special attention to friendship, politeness and civilization. The simple etiquette of Tujia people not only fully demonstrates the world-famous etiquette of the Chinese nation, but also has been passed down from generation to generation, which has rich humanistic value. A thorough study of this issue is undoubtedly of great humanistic and practical significance for carrying forward the fine moral traditions of the Chinese nation and Tujia people and for the moral construction of today's citizens such as "courtesy and honesty".

First, the four etiquette of Tujia nationality

The so-called etiquette, that is, due to the customs and habits in social life, is a ceremony that everyone should abide by, such as weddings and funerals. Tujia people have many rituals in their life and social activities, but the most important ones are only four, namely, birth ceremony, wedding ceremony, adult coronation ceremony, birthday ceremony and funeral. These four rituals are the concentrated expression of Tujia etiquette, which has both social characteristics and belief characteristics. They are intertwined with Tujia people's outlook on life, values, good fortune and bad fortune, forming a complex and diverse folk style, which has long supported Tujia people's social life and spiritual life.

1. Birthday ceremony

Birthday ceremony is the beginning ceremony of life. Tujia people attach great importance to the baby's birth ceremony, which not only means blessing new life and praying for long life and wealth, but also means ward off evil spirits and avoid disasters for pregnant women, which has certain mystery in etiquette. Although Tujia people attach importance to "playing three dynasties" and "full moon wine" in the birth ceremony, in fact, the birth ceremony of Tujia people involves a long process.

When a woman is pregnant, it is commonly known as "happiness". She wants to ask the indigenous priests to hold a ceremony of "abortion" to exorcise evil spirits, pray for ancestors' blessing, and hang a sieve and wormwood on the door of the hall, which is called "golden bell cover" to protect pregnant women's houses. When giving birth to a child, a midwife is usually invited. After entering the delivery room, midwives should pay homage to Bashan, the fertility goddess of Tujia nationality. When the baby landed, the midwife tied the umbilical cord with white thread, and if it was a boy, it was wrapped in his father's clothes. If it's a girl, it's wrapped in mom's clothes. It is strictly forbidden to spill the water for bathing babies at will, so as not to pollute the gods. After the baby is born, the father will go to the mother-in-law's house with the "good news chicken", the boy will hold the rooster to report the good news, and the girl will hold the hen to report the good news. Mother-in-law's family provides "Three Dynasties Ceremony" and "Full Moon Wine" according to the baby's gender.

Three days later, my mother-in-law's family, relatives and friends all brought gifts to congratulate her, that is, "playing three dynasties." At the banquet, the maternal family should ask the baby's grandfather or uncle to name it, commonly known as the "naming ceremony". On the day of the full moon, the mother-in-law will come over to "put feet" on the baby (because the baby's feet and hands are wrapped in the first month of life, and it will not be unpacked until after the full moon, and it will be formally put on clothes, commonly known as "putting feet") and bring all the clothes needed to put feet. This day is commonly known as "full moon wine" or "toast rice wine". After the baby is born, the first person to come to the maternity home, commonly known as "tramping on life", "women tramping on men, live a long life" and "men tramping on women, want to win the lottery", let the maternity home warmly entertain the tramp and let him say more auspicious words. At present, the most important birthday ceremony of Tujia nationality is "playing three dynasties". In fact, Tujia people in many places combine "playing three dynasties" with "full moon wine" (toasting rice wine), which is collectively called "playing three dynasties". With the improvement of medical conditions and the popularization of scientific knowledge, many superstitions and bad habits in birth ceremonies have been consciously abandoned by Tujia people.

2. Wedding and rite of passage

In the long feudal era, Tujia people gradually formed multi-level etiquette in the marriage system, which was very complicated and grand. It is a complete etiquette process, but in the whole etiquette process, the most important thing is the coronation ceremony of men and women held on the wedding day and a series of other etiquette activities. Such as "proofing", that is, the matchmaker matches men and women to meet for the first time, commonly known as "looking at appearance", and then formally proposes after both parties are satisfied. "Propose marriage", after proofing, the man formally invited the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house. "Begging for Red Geng", commonly known as "matching eight characters", was written on the "Red Geng Sticker" when the man entrusted the matchmaker to obtain the date of birth of the woman, and asked the local teacher or fortune teller to infer according to the five elements of Yin and Yang to see if it was consistent or mutually acceptable. "Engagement", commonly known as "inserting incense", is a "match made in heaven". Both men and women hold a banquet on an auspicious day and invite their relatives to formally engage. In fact, it is to make this marriage public and gain social recognition.

"Happy Chinese New Year". After the engagement, the man will go to his wife's house every year, but the first Chinese New Year is the most grand. "Depending on the date", when both men and women reach marriageable age, they will ask the natives or fortune tellers to choose an auspicious day to get married. Crown ceremony and wedding, after the wedding day, both men and women will hold a very grand crown ceremony and wedding, and the bride will cry according to the wedding etiquette. Tujia adult ceremony and wedding are held together, and it is the most grand. Both the male crown ceremony and the female crown ceremony are held on the day before marriage.

In the Qing Dynasty, Volume III of Changyang County Records recorded: "The ancient crown marriage is two things, and the long benefit is one. One or two days before the wedding, the woman's family tied her hair together and said' above'. Set up a female seat, invite nine girls, make ten women, and say' with ten sisters'; Men call a word, relatives and friends pay for gold plaques, and drum music leads the way. When he got to the hall, he said' He Hao', not a word. There are two seats (for the banquet) that day. First, there are nine children, which is ten for the groom, saying that they are' with ten brothers' and' with ten friends'. The parallel wedding ceremony and the ritual activities of "accompanying the tenth elder sister" and "accompanying the tenth elder brother" have this custom all over the Tujia area, which has been left to this day. The coronation ceremony means that both men and women are adults, and they can communicate independently in society and start their own businesses.

"Send a sedan chair", that is, after the coronation ceremony and wedding, the woman opens the sedan chair at the time selected by the local company, and the local company seals the sedan chair to avoid evil spirits. In Salute to the King of Wine, in the toast era, the toast king enjoyed the "first night right" (that is, the toast king had to sleep with the bride for one or three nights first), and was later killed while exercising the first night right. It is said that he is haunted and often worships newlyweds, so he should be worshipped.

"Safe bed", that is, the man installs the newlywed bed and performs a ceremony at the same time to pray for the happiness of the newlyweds. "Stop the sedan chair", when the man's wedding procession came to the door of the woman's village, the relatives and friends of the woman's family stopped the wedding procession and pretended to stop it. The wedding procession and the sedan chair stopped singing, making fun of each other and even fighting. In fact, this is the legacy of the early Tujia custom of "robbing relatives". "Looking for rice" or "touching rice" is the groom's agent, commonly known as "sedan chair baby". The boys in the sedan chair pretend to be "touching the rice" When the bride's sisters couldn't tell the truth for a moment, they searched among the young men at will, fought with each other, and even put pot ashes on the young men's faces. In fact, they took this opportunity to secretly choose the right person, obviously with the legacy of ancient Tujia couple marriage. "Mao Yan" and "foot-binding wine", after the sedan chair was sent to the road, the bride's relatives pretended to intercept it at some intersections. At this time, the man has set up a banquet in these places, and people who stop the sedan chair eat a "Mao banquet". Some men directly send the banquet to the women's hall, which is called "foot-binding wine". "Moving the curtains", when the wedding procession is approaching the man's house, "touching the rice" speeds up the pace. First, the curtains are moved to the man's house, and a ceremony is held to hang the curtains, singing while hanging them, which is quite flavor. "Welcome sedan chair" means that when the bride's sedan chair arrives at the man's house, the man's house will hold a series of welcome sedan chair ceremonies until the bride visits the bride and enters the bridal chamber. On the day when the bride enters the man's house, the man's house will hold a sumptuous banquet in the middle of the room for her sister-in-law, the girl who wants to see her off and the bride's brother (uncle), and then open a banquet for other relatives and friends. "Making trouble in the bridal chamber", that is, the entertainment activities conducted by the relatives and friends of the same generation of the bride and groom in the bridal chamber to wish their wedding, are often accompanied by the married girl and the young man who sings with the groom, and they take the opportunity to choose the right person. This is the reproduction of Tujia ancient wedding custom with songs as the medium. "Back to the door", the second day after marriage, the bride will go back to her family with the groom, and go back the same day, commonly known as "back to the door". At this point, the whole Tujia wedding came to an end.

3. Birthday gifts

Birthday gift is one of the important ceremonies of Tujia nationality. Tujia nationality's birthday is called "Long Tail" for children, "Birthday" for adults and "Birthday" after 50 years old. But if parents are still alive, even if they are old, they can't be called "birthdays". Tujia elderly people should offer fish, serve longevity noodles and toast longevity peaches on their birthdays. The birthday present of 60 flowers is the most grand. Tujia people wish the elderly a long and healthy life, which is a national virtue.

4. Funeral

Funeral is a mourning ceremony and sacrificial activity for almost any nation. Tujia people usually call funerals "Bai Xi", "Bai Hui" and "Old Guilong Mountain". Generally speaking, they can dance and sing the death knell. When Tujia people in Qingjiang Valley of Hubei Province hold funerals, their main activity is to jump in mourning, that is, to dance and sing a very magical and grand "Salho". This is a sacrifice song and dance for Tujia people to mourn the dead. It's like a drama, and its style is extremely simple and unique. Dance is very beautiful, sometimes around the elbow, like a phoenix spreading its wings; Sometimes high-five, just like an aunt screening gongs; Sometimes you twist your shoulders and rub your back, just like a buffalo scratching; Sometimes the lips touch the ground, just like the soil in spring; Sometimes they play with each other, just like a shepherd boy playing in the water and so on. Why do Tujia people call their funerals "Salho"? In fact, this is named after the use of the lining word "Salho" when dancing.

The Ming Dynasty's "Badong County Records" contained: "In the old customs, on the day of death, his family bought wine and food, invited relatives and friends, sounded gold and drummed, danced and danced for one night, or three or five nights." After death, the neighbors heard firecrackers and rushed to the deceased's home to dance for the deceased. Tujia people often say: "People are sad when they die, so they don't invite themselves", "Many families are mourning when they die, and they help when they knock the funeral drum", "Hearing the funeral drum in the middle of the night makes my feet itch". At night, just heard a few shots outside the mourning hall, undertaker heard. A venerable old man patted the drummer, thumped the drum three times and sang, "I'll beat the drum, and you come out, Kiwe Jonas salli!" " "Everyone answered with one voice. Undertaker or a group of two, or a group of three, quickly stepped on the drum dance, pedaled the drum, and the drum followed the foot. Undertaker's head, hands, shoulders, waist and hips are twisted together, and the dances are varied. Singing simple, rough, humorous and interesting songs with strong Shan Ye flavor, from night to crow, or one night, or two nights, or three nights.

Salho has a certain procedure, which generally consists of waiting for the teacher, jumping into mourning, crying and so on. Or open karaoke bars, offer libations and close karaoke bars. Salho's lyrics are varied, with four characters, five characters and seven characters changing with the situation. Except those young people who died young, no matter men or women, no matter high or low, as long as people die, neighbors will always sing "Salho". In fact, as early as the Yuan, Ming and Qing Dynasties, Salho was fully mature in the funeral music of Tujia people in Qingjiang River Basin. As for the historical origin of Salho, it is impossible to accurately verify it today. Some people say that it originated from Zhuang Zhou's "Drum and Basin Song", and some people say that it originated from the killing of Tartars on August 15th. Although different people have different opinions, there is no doubt that Salxie is the product of the organic combination of witchcraft, ritual and song and dance art of Tujia ancestors.

Second, the humanistic value of Tujia four etiquette

The four rituals of Tujia nationality are the concentrated expression of Tujia etiquette culture. At the same time, these four etiquette also fully show Tujia's optimistic and open-minded view of life and death, Tujia's traditional virtue of filial piety to parents, and Tujia's lofty sense of social responsibility.

1. The birth ceremony of the Tu family not only wished new life, but also recalled and commemorated the history of the nation's creation, birth and reproduction, which fully reflected the positive outlook on life.

According to Tujia legend, the distant ancestor was born of an egg. In ancient times, there was chaos, black smoke everywhere, lawlessness, no land, day and night. Suddenly, a gust of wind dispersed the black smoke, and then a white cloud wrapped a huge egg, as white as the sky and yolk. With the sudden collapse of the sky, the egg cracked and a slim girl jumped out. Her name is Dan Yu, and she is the ancestor of Tujia nationality. Egg jade drinks tiger milk and eats iron thallium. When she saw the adhesion between heaven and earth, an arrow shot away and the world began. Therefore, Tujia people revere eggs and think that eggs are a kind of people. When Tujia people held the birth ceremony of "Playing Three Dynasties" and "Full Moon Wine", the most important food was poached eggs with fermented grains. Anyone who comes to congratulate should eat a bowl of poached eggs with mash, which actually contains the significance of commemorating the creation, birth and reproduction of Tujia ancestors. When a Tujia girl gets married, the man always gives her two boiled red eggs. On the eve of marriage, the girl rolls the egg three times on her face, which is called "opening her face", symbolizing the birth of the egg and indicating the reproduction of future generations and the endless life of the nation. It can be seen that Tujia people believe that human life is hard-won, and everyone who comes to the world must be worthy of his own life, make a difference and not waste time. In the birth ceremony of Tujia nationality, there is also the custom of "grasping the week", that is, when the baby is one year old, books, pens, abacus, paper and other items are placed on the table for the baby to grasp by himself. Tujia people think that what the baby catches first indicates what the child will do in the future. Tujia people always want their children to succeed. They want their children to contribute to the country and become the pillars of the country. They also want to honor their ancestors and win glory for their families. This positive outlook on life is worthy of recognition.

2. The wedding ceremony and adult hairpin ceremony of Tujia nationality show that Tujia nationality has a high sense of national consciousness and social responsibility.

The wedding ceremony and adult ceremony of Tujia nationality are held together, which actually shows that this is a sign that young Tujia men and women have come of age, that is, they have ended their childhood, which means "the second weaning of life". Therefore, to shoulder the responsibility of society and family, we must have individual consciousness. First of all, Tujia weddings and adult crowning ceremonies have strict etiquette procedures. Through this strict etiquette procedure, young Tujia men and women learned the first lesson of life. After marriage, the bride should leave her parents, bid farewell to her hometown, start an independent life journey and creatively design her future. In Tujia nationality, boys often live apart from their parents after marriage. "The trees should be separated and the children should be separated." "The tree is not long, and the home is not long." This is undoubtedly a painful and necessary process for young people who rely on their parents for a long time.

But it is in this process that young Tujia men and women will learn to stand on their own feet, take responsibility and mature. The responsibility of young men and women, from a macro perspective, is social responsibility, making contributions to the country and society; From the microscopic point of view, it is a family responsibility to make one's family happy. After the wedding and adult ceremony, Tujia young men and women will consciously assume these social and family responsibilities. Secondly, the ceremony of sending women to Tujia adults is held collectively in the form of "accompanying the tenth brother" and "accompanying the tenth sister". Therefore, it can not only enhance the self-esteem and self-confidence of the bride and groom, but also educate other unmarried Tujia young men and women.

Self-esteem is an important part of national self-awareness. Talking about self-esteem means respecting your own personality and honor, and not allowing others to discriminate and insult. Maintaining self-esteem is a self-emotional experience. If a person lacks self-esteem, any other evaluation will have no effect; With self-esteem, this person will not be attached to others, but will stand on his own feet. Self-confidence is also an important part of national self-awareness. Self-confidence is an indispensable psychological quality in a person's growth. If a person feels inferior and can't see his own strength, he will form a fixed inferiority complex over time, which will undoubtedly bring many negative effects to the development of the nation and personal growth. After Tujia young men and women pass the collective ceremony, individual self-awareness, self-esteem and self-confidence will spontaneously emerge, thus laying a solid psychological foundation for bravely shouldering social and family responsibilities.

3. Tujia's birthday gift fully embodies the fine traditional ethics of honoring parents.

Among Tujia's birthday gifts, the most grand one is parents' birthday gift, which is a very important content of filial piety to parents. Tujia people pay special attention to the relationship between parents and children, that is, the so-called "filial piety", "filial piety" and "raising children", which is not only an important aspect of the traditional interpersonal relationship of the Chinese nation, but also an excellent traditional ethics of Tujia people. "Filial piety" is called the root of all morality and the starting point of all "education". The Book of Filial Piety says: "Filial Piety is the foundation of virtue, and teaching is born from it."

Therefore, if you want to be a moral person, you must work hard on the root of "filial piety". "Filial piety" means doing good to parents, that is, doing your best to raise parents. Confucius believed that parents should not only "nurture" but also "respect". Confucius said, "Today's filial piety means that it can be raised. As for dogs and horses, they can be raised. Why not?" Only by loving and filial piety can parents be happy. If parents have it, they should persuade them, but pay attention to their attitude. Tujia people believe that the relationship between parents and children is one of the most basic relationships in society. From a person's attitude towards his parents, we can infer his attitude towards others, the country and society. Only those who are filial to their parents can serve the country faithfully; On the other hand, if a person can't be filial to his parents, he will never be loyal to his country. "A dutiful son asks for a loyal minister."

Tujia people especially believe that in all ethical and moral relations, "filial piety is the most important", and filial piety is the first and supreme morality. Family members should honor their parents regardless of their personal behavior, otherwise they will be spurned by the whole family and condemned by society. In feudal society, Tujia people regarded their father as heaven and their mother as land. "It doesn't have the kindness of parents. "No matter how old you are, as long as your parents are still alive, you must be filial to your parents. First, we should be filial to our parents, and second, we should be content. Don't strike back, don't scold back, be reasonable, don't be unreasonable, answer questions, be responsive, often ask about your illness, be careful what you say, and don't break their hearts. Tujia people also include the code of conduct for filial piety to their parents in family rules and regulations. Any rebellious daughter-in-law who does not support or abuse her parents and cannot be solved by her family will be punished by her family according to family rules. The lighter is called "retribution", and families should persuade rebellious children to repent within a time limit, or make amends to their parents in public, and ask people to promise not to do so again; If the circumstances are serious, according to the circumstances, they may be punished with hard labor, or part of their property may be cut off for their parents to enjoy, or corporal punishment; Especially serious people, such as those who mutilate and kill their parents, must pay the price for their parents' lives and sacrifice them to the grave. The way they pay for their lives is usually "drowning" (that is, tying stones to their bodies and sinking into a deep pool to kill them). Even the local government recognizes this family rule of severely punishing unfilial sons and does not interfere. It should be considered that even today, respecting the old and loving the young and filial piety still has positive social value as long as we get rid of some feudal factors in Tujia traditional ethics and morality and discard and critically inherit them.

4. The funeral of Tujia people fully embodies the optimistic and open-minded view of life and death.

Tujia people believe that people are born with death, and life and death are dialectical unity and irresistible natural laws. Therefore, Tujia people are not only the wish of life, but also the joy of death. When the old man dies, he takes the "smooth road" and "the old dragon returns to the mountain". Therefore, Tujia people hold a "white meeting" by dancing Salho. There is joy in Sarho's sorrow, and sorrow and joy intersect, with joy as the main one. Through Tujia's funeral-Salha, we can get a glimpse of Tujia's psychological world of sadness and joy, mourning for death and comforting life, and solemn excitement, which fully embodies Tujia's optimistic and open-minded view of life and death. From Salho's lyrics, we can see that some people sing about their ancestors, production and life, local conditions and customs, and love, sometimes flirting and sometimes crying. It can be said that people die of old age, and heaven and earth are natural; Auspicious and lively. Judging from Sarho's actions, he was completely immersed in the pure illusory feeling world, fascinated by "hysterical" fanaticism and unrestrained enjoyment. In fact, on the whole, Salxie has unique artistic charm and humanistic value, and was once praised as "Oriental Disco" by foreign scholars. Salxie's funeral is the last companion of the living to the dead, and the living should send the dead away happily, which is an affirmation of the value of life and a reappearance of Tujia's optimistic and open-minded outlook on life. Salho can not only enhance the cohesion of the nation, but also be the carrier of national cultural inheritance; Salho is also an art of life and entertainment, from which Tujia people get beautiful enjoyment.

5. The four rites of Tujia nationality are of great humanistic value and practical significance to the ideological and moral construction of socialist spiritual civilization, courtesy and integrity.

Under the condition of market economy, the construction of socialist spiritual civilization has an important strategic position, one of which is ideological and moral construction, that is, efforts are made to cultivate socialist citizens with ideals, morality, education and discipline. Discarding the four etiquette of Tujia nationality plays an important role in ideological and moral construction and the promotion of interpersonal value under the condition of market economy. First of all, from the social point of view, the four etiquette is conducive to the stability and harmony of society and family. In Tujia nationality, society, family and individual constitute a unique social structure. Family is not only the intermediary, but also the core of the three, connecting society and individuals. Like lubricants, the four etiquette permeates the social structure of society, family and individual.

Four rites is a kind of family virtue and a code of conduct that every citizen should follow in family life, covering the relationship between husband and wife, the relationship between young and old, and the relationship between neighbors. Family life is closely related to social life. Correctly treating and handling family relations is not only related to the happiness of each family, but also conducive to social stability and harmony, as well as cultivating and developing family ties, husband and wife love and neighborhood friendship. Vigorously advocate family virtues such as respecting the elderly and caring for the young, equality between men and women, harmony between husband and wife, diligence and family management, and neighborhood unity, and encourage people to become good members of the family. It can be considered that grasping the relationship among society, family and individuals will also grasp the root of social relations in China, and the stability of the whole society will have a reliable foundation through the role of lubricants such as the four etiquette of Tujia people. As a state of etiquette of the Chinese nation, it is necessary to deal with the relationship among society, family and individuals at all times, which is a basic framework for social stability and harmony, and the four etiquette are the basic ways and methods to maintain this framework stability. Secondly, from an individual point of view, the four etiquette are conducive to improving the value of interpersonal relationships and enhancing people's moral obligations and moral responsibilities. Today, "courtesy, justice and shame" has become one of the basic moral norms advocated by our society. A person can have "sincerity" only by "ceremony", and ceremony is the basis of sincerity. If a person doesn't understand etiquette and goes his own way, then this person is not only dishonest, but even difficult to gain a foothold in society. To be polite, we must carry out the necessary etiquette, etiquette and politeness activities, which plays an important role in regulating people's words and deeds. Just like raising the national flag, singing the national anthem, and holding various forms of etiquette in important places and major events, in family life and social activities, we should appropriately advocate Tujia and other four etiquette, guide citizens to enhance their sense of etiquette, etiquette and courtesy, enhance their sense of moral obligation and responsibility, bid farewell to uncivilized words and deeds, and constantly improve their humanistic values and moral cultivation.

Finally, it needs to be pointed out that although the Four Rites are excellent traditional virtues of Tujia people and the external expression of Tujia etiquette, we should also combine criticizing and inheriting traditional morality with carrying forward the spirit of the times, and consciously overcome some feudal superstitions and bad factors in the Four Rites, as well as the extravagance and waste caused by many complicated etiquette. Tujia people should inherit and carry forward the fine moral tradition of attaching importance to feelings and righteousness, as well as sincere and gentle civilized etiquette. Only in this way can we really bring forth the old and bring forth the new.