Classic funny self-introduction

When we meet strangers, we are usually asked to introduce ourselves, and through self-introduction, we can get recognition from others. So how should I write a self-introduction? The following is my collection of classic funny self-introductions, welcome to share.

Classic funny self-introduction 1 Hello everyone!

My name is Xiao Cangming, Xiao Yuexiao and Haiyue. I am from Chongqing, so I should be the only Chongqing native this year. When I left Chongqing, I promised my former high school classmates that I would let everyone here know that the young people in Chongqing are as good as me, and my parents also promised that if I failed to pass the postgraduate exam, I would not go back to Chongqing. (Applause)

I am a highly confident person, even to the point of narcissism. Besides, I was very lazy, so I didn't take part in the class Committee election two days ago. I think others in my class will definitely do better than me in this respect. But I regretted it afterwards, because I lost an opportunity to introduce myself to everyone, especially to see the performance of Wang Wei in Class Two on the stage, but our class was not as good as ours. (Pointing at a snickering roommate behind him) Don't laugh at me, I can't speak. (Laughter in class)

I believe everyone here has a dream. Even if we are different from each other, as long as I can share this dream with you, I will be moved whether I fail or succeed. (Applause)

It's not over yet. Go! (Laughter in class)

In my memory, there is a kind of flower called Acorus calamus, which is ugly and not very fragrant. Why do I remember? Because its flower language is "believing is happiness", trust is what I need you to give me most. Only if you believe, my miracle will exist! Thank you (applause)

Classic funny self-introduction 2 1, always warm and sincere to people (excluding my rival in love).

2, take diet pills, drill bars several times a day, and treat KTV as a father.

Finally, we must honor the elderly, be kind and love life, and be enterprising!

4, single-minded, one flower and one fruit, you can safely hand over all your feelings. I am really a good boy!

5. My daughter is 28 years old, looks like a flower, with slender waist and arch eyebrows, small cherry mouth and phoenix eyes, and beautiful Ana. Today, I sincerely look for a person who is destined to work together to build a loving home.

6. I live in Chengtou garbage station. I eat ten thousand meals every day. I reached out to buy two popsicles. It's cool, and my love life is very painful. Come to sleep at night, no one hugs me. Today, I asked for a marriage online, hoping someone would deliver it to my door.

7. Marriage: I 153 am tall and ugly. I have one or two houses at home, and a lamp for household appliances. Although the conditions are average, love can cover all the days. If you are interested, you need to meet at your own expense. If it is purely for fun, please stand aside consciously and don't bypass my meditation dream, or you will be at a loss.

8. Marriage: My male is extroverted and introverted. I have a house to rent and a car to rent, and the money is 100. I want to recruit an ambitious young woman who is introverted and extroverted, and make her house and car into a sedan chair with me, and the money will be made into six figures. Interested parties please contact me.

9. I don't ask for my marriage conditions, just ask for an appointment time: not for one day, not for two days; Not sunny, not raining, not cloudy; Not on weekdays, not on holidays; Not on the first day, not on the fifteenth; Spring and autumn are absent, winter and summer are absent; When shall we meet? Hehe, you know what?

10, marriage: over 30 years old, empty-handed, thinking twice, looking around, everywhere, missing, listening to people's instigation, trying the net, secular desires, you and I have, the Eight Immortals crossed the ocean, you and I came to the net, perfect.

1 1, the sky is blue, the sea is salty, and lovers in the street make people cry. People are ordinary, their hearts are kind, and life without objects is disgusting. Today's marriage: which woman is kind-hearted and willing to be a brother and bride.

12, marriage: the heat is unbearable. Recently, the mother mosquito came to bite and sprayed a lot of medicine. The effect has been bad. I occasionally listen to the mother mosquito singing, as if looking for someone, so I come to the internet to ask for marriage, to relieve the loneliness of the mother mosquito and the pain of my being bitten. Interested parties are waiting in front of my house at night, hoping to get it done once and leave and elope as soon as possible.

13, people who have fixed jobs, love their jobs and are full of expectations for the future (excluding workaholics) are preferred!

14, I'm Wang Benshan, 23 years old, in estrus, and I want to talk about a love affair. Working in a hotel, working as a foreman every day, with a salary of 2500. I look ordinary and have a flat. I don't have to worry about borrowing money. I want to find a beautiful woman to accompany me all my life.

15, I have only considered these items for a long time.

16, I'm looking for a wife, not for fun.

17, stay aside and be a housewife. It is enough for me to have a mother. (Dinosaur declined)

18, the house is temporarily unavailable, and the deposit has not exceeded 10,000. It looks ordinary, so you can get used to it after a few more eyes. You really can't steal any money by hanging around alone on weekdays. Nothing else is good at it, and the heart is still kind. Guangji female companion: Life is a long road, and every minute counts.

19, those who have ideals and goals and love all good things (excluding money) are preferred.

20. Girls who want to catch scarabs, please stop. Much as I want to satisfy you, I really don't have much money.

2 1, girl, although I can't laugh myself to death. San Xiao pours into the countryside, fish bubbles, geese soar and the moon blooms, but it is also a good flower. I can measure my height and weigh myself, find a sincere and reliable piece of cow dung, and ask to raise my little flower more and more beautifully!

22. Tenderness, loveliness, kindness and love for small animals (except mice) are preferred.

23. If I really fall in love with you, I will be good to you, so good that you want to escape (try to correct).

24. It is the wife's best and only punching bag (only for two people).

25. The little girl is in her prime, with a watery face and a slim figure. Her voice is like ding Rinrin, and she has touched her heart at an early age. MengMeng, a little girl, is in love. Marriage requirements: the young man looks like a star, with a well-proportioned figure and style. Wedding language: small couples hold hands in the living room, and small couples get married and travel far.

26. I am five big and three thick, with a round face. Walking is as difficult as climbing a tree. I found a female companion to help me. I want a lot of food, and I seem to snore when I sleep. Seeing my chubby belly, I will never suffer again, and my life will be more comfortable and better than other people's pigs.

27. Players who are cheerful, kind, rational and impulsive only analyze problems and do not solve them violently (except when their wives are injured).

28, no education, no culture, no jokes, no villa, no BMW, salary of 880, no drag, no concern, just want to have a home!

29. I look like Pan An. I am strong and broad-minded, well-educated, with a wide range of hobbies, less salary and wandering around. In order to be happy, I am looking for a female partner. I have no other requirements. If I can cook, I can do anything as long as I am satisfied.

Classic funny self-introduction 3 I'm XXX, from XX. Every day, there are world-famous XX travel advertisements that are beautifully done, but Little Paris and Moscow in the East are far away from XX in my real memory. My hometown is warm and intertwined with childhood memories. In my eyes, XX presents a crowded and chaotic street, but leaving me near my home will help me find the tacit understanding of going home without thinking. Only XX will have it.

My parents are ordinary people. My father works in the Land and Resources Bureau. I have been to his unit, the gloomy office building, and had a good chat with my cleaning aunt. My mother's unit is the Institute of Electrical Instruments. The equipment of the unit does not rent a house, but the relationship between colleagues is much better than that of my father's unit. Every time I go, I keep saying hello to my uncle and aunt. This is a wonderful feeling, very warm.

Speaking of oneself, it is difficult for a person to make an accurate evaluation of his personality. I just know when and what kind of choice I will make. I am willing to laugh and face life with a positive and optimistic attitude. John ruskin has such a poem: regard every dawn as the beginning of life and every dusk as the summary of life. Every morning on the way to school, I will think of this sentence, because this is the beginning of life, and I have reason to abandon all yesterday's regrets to welcome a new beginning of life. I attach importance to the gas field, and I am confident and imposing in the face of people and occasions. I like challenges, I like the nervous feeling of trembling slightly before I step onto the stage, and I like the pride of showing the fruits of unremitting efforts to everyone.

There are many interesting things about scientists. For example, Edison always forgets whether he has had lunch or not. I often make this mistake. I like to study the feeling of sinking into one thing, forget the needs of my body and start to be isolated from the outside world. One Sunday, we went to the activities of the Electronic Association to make running water lamps, and spent three hours immersed in solder and circuits. Time flies, but we are unaware of it.

My weakness is that I like fantasy. Some of my dreams come from novels and other literary works. Under the influence of agatha christie, I became interested in detectives. Every time you observe some details, you infer the possibility. The story that Archimedes told him to finish calculus before he died made me interested in mathematics. What is fascinating about mathematics, which can make people love more than life, but I have not reached such a state so far, and I have not realized the feeling of being at home in the world of mathematics. Just like Watt walking on the road watching the scenery and thinking about the improvement of the steam engine, just like Kekule dreaming about the structural formula of benzene ring, maybe my ideas are not as constructive as theirs, but in endless thinking, I will have my own ideas and ideas.

I may be thoughtless and impatient, but I am kind. One of Bi Shumin's essays mentioned praising a woman. If she is not beautiful, she can be praised for her temperament. If not, you can praise her for her profound connotation. If she has nothing, she will say: You are a kind woman. For me, kindness is a kind of nature. Xunzi's theory: the beginning of life and the inherent evil. Therefore, under the evil nature, the things I have experienced, the education I have received, and the articles I have read all make me more miserable in treating people and things. I am indecisive in many things, I care too much, and I can't make a decisive balance in some things. This is one of my shortcomings. But in the general direction of life, I have a clear decision. For example, in the psychological test, I know what is right and what is wrong, so my psychological score is very high. Maybe I can't completely do some right behaviors, but I will work hard in this direction.

I am keen on learning methods. I have read Tony Bozan's books, studied memory methods and fast reading, and always wanted to remember a playing card in 1 minute to test Mr. Brain. I like mind mapping and brainstorming. Western countries have a lot of knowledge to learn from in studying the history of brain use. I like a dream of red mansions, I like to read my favorite fragments over and over again, and think and infer incomplete plots in Poirot's way. I'm Rainbow Xiaobo. His article is very interesting and full of wisdom. Whenever I feel depressed, I always want to open "Red Stroke at Night". After reading a chapter, I will really laugh and feel good. I am Dongpo, Su Like, and I like to comment on the politics headed by Wang Anshi in the Song Dynasty. I like Li Zhongguang, one of the best poets. His words are like calligraphy, and his coarse clothes do not hide the national color. I hold a different attitude from others in many things. I am willing to argue and exchange ideas with others, but I always try to refute others, so that I have received many comments that I am extreme.

In science, I like reading the stories of scientists, and listening to their process from exploration to discovery makes me excited. My biggest dream is to get in touch with the frontier of science, which is really exciting. When the physics teacher led us back to the beginning of light exploration, I fantasized about going back to that era to explore. I have studied de Broglie's wave-particle duality before, and I feel that I am closest to the Nobel Prize. At that time, I felt that I also had the idea that physical particles fluctuated. Facts have proved that the frontier of science is not out of reach. I look forward to entering the laboratory and discovering my own new scientific territory through experiments, reasoning and a little brave imagination. Find a direction and look for light in the dark. Gu Cheng's generation gave me black eyes at night, but I used them to look for light.

When I came into contact with Teacher Li's laboratory in the Science Park, I felt that this was the life I wanted, the ideal I pursued, and I was willing to sacrifice my life for the ideal like Archimedes, Madame Curie and Michelangelo. My ideal life is to stay in college and study my own direction while teaching.

I hope my dream will last forever.

My name is xx, and I am xx years old this year. My hobbies are listening to songs and watching movies. This may be the same hobby as most of my peers, but it may also be just a hobby. I think I will work harder than my peers around me and treat my goals with heart. I have no handsome appearance and no rich family. I think that's why I got into the habit of concentrating on everything. I like myself very much and love my family very much.

I remember reading a book not long ago. The general content of the book is that a person's life depends on his twenties. Although my age is less than 18, I think I should be prepared for this challenging and adventurous 20-year-old. I don't want to spend my life in a mediocre scene. I think every day has different colors, and every day is full of challenges and hopes. What I can do now is to constantly improve and perfect my connotation and mind and make unremitting efforts for the future. This is me, ordinary me, with a dream of college and a kind and persistent heart, and I like to constantly challenge and surpass my dreams. "Ten years of grinding a sword is only for you to know." No matter how hard and tired I am, I am willing to try. "Only by eating hard can you become a master." In my future study and life, I will definitely be a full and meaningful university life.

Classic funny self-introduction 5 Hello everyone!

My name is XXX, and I am a super lively person. Don't be deceived by my seemingly quiet or introverted appearance. My motto is: Attitude is everything.

I think whether a person will succeed or not, attitude is the most critical factor.

What books do I like to read? I once remembered that there was a saying ~ "Be awesome". I think it can bring some inspiration to my life, so I will share it with you, hoping you can get some help from it. I won't say anything else.

I hope that in the next four years, everyone will gradually discover my goodness. I am willing to be friends with you who can still miss each other even after graduation for many years. Thank you!

Classic Funny Self-introduction 6 male, 38 years old, 1.69 meters, unmarried, key undergraduate (only a few points short), with brilliant achievements (once a monitor in primary school), now a working girl, working in a multinational organization (cleaning tables at McDonald's), with generous treatment (not being late and leaving 800 yuan early), having a house (many people have real estate licenses) and a car (non-motor vehicles).

Classic funny self-introduction 7 Hello, my name is ... What's my name again? Oh, yes, my name is Xiaoyan. Do you know what a swallow is? Swallows are swallows. Yes, it's a swallow.

My hobby is reading. I have many books, especially composition books. Once, I bought a composition book. This composition book was bought at Xinhua Bookstore, no, it was bought at a small bookstall next to Xinhua Bookstore. Yes, that's where I bought it. Turns out the book was pirated, so I went home.

Oh, dear! Sorry, digression again! I am thirteen years old. I was born in XXX. Let me calculate. No, I am twelve years old this year. My home is far from school, so I have to take a taxi to school. Once, I quarreled with the driver. Why are we fighting? I gave him five yuan, and he should have given me three yuan, but he only gave me two yuan. As a result, I was driven down by my classmates. )

Oh, my God! Don't hit me with rotten leaves!

Classic Funny Self-introduction 8 Hello everyone, I'm Wu XX, majoring in Chinese language and literature in the College of Literature. I like writing, I like writing, I like art, and I believe in the motto "Read thousands of books, take Wan Li Road".

A good family atmosphere has cultivated my habit of reading, and I am naturally fond of freedom. I often use holidays to walk around, broaden my horizons, understand life with my heart and talk to history. This is me, a girl who doesn't like lively, quiet and indifferent life, hoping to learn nutrition from life, constantly improve herself, have the ability to grow up and be an elegant woman.

In the last year of college, it is a fate to meet you. I look forward to getting to know each other in the future, and I hope this experience can become a beautiful memory of each other's future life.

Classic Funny Self-introduction 9 Huang Yongyu, a master of contemporary art and a generation of "ghosts" with excellent poetry, calligraphy and painting, once described himself in the article "I am Huang Yongyu": "I am over 70 years old, arrogant, bullying and afraid of hard work, and my eyes are a little embarrassed. I stopped long ago; Shouting and whistling, crossing the river with a book, exhausted, consciously stepping down.

Old age has come, smoking and drinking tea constantly, not coughing, not insomnia for decades. Fat sausage, pig's feet, beef ribs, epimedium, bitter gourd, bracken, Liuyang lobster sauce fried with lard residue, dried bean curd, moldy lobster sauce and water lobster sauce are all favorite. Friends who love drinking, love playing dragon gate array, local opera, music and books.

I hate rude people, young and old, especially those who come to paint oily skin. Every generation will take them to climb the steep and messy wooden mountain, tire them into grandchildren and foam at the mouth until they run away and disappear.

No drinking, no karaoke, no mahjong, no cards. I don't like throwing garbage and spitting in the house and outside the window. People are not allowed to make movies and visit this house. After Nobel, a Swedish scientist, became famous all over the world, he repeatedly refused his brother's request to write an autobiography. Finally, he had to write a very humorous introduction: "alfred nobel, his poor half-life was almost destroyed by a kind doctor at birth. Main virtues: keep nails clean so as not to implicate others; Main disadvantages: no family, bad temper and weak digestive ability; Only wish: don't be buried alive by others; The biggest sin: disrespect for the god of wealth; The main story of his life:no. "

Classic funny self-introduction 10 I have neither the beauty of the country nor the eloquence, the sound of nature like a musician, the devil's figure, nor Bill. Fathers like Gates have achieved nothing. Finch is versatile ... I'm just an ordinary woman who likes fashion, travel, writing, surfing the Internet, reading books and taking photos. I have a sentimental heart, sometimes naive and fond of fantasy, sometimes sad and crying quietly, sometimes going hiking alone, sometimes wandering aimlessly in the street, sometimes playing like a night cat until midnight or all night, so I can stay indoors for a few days if I have nothing to do.

I am a simple woman, demanding a simple life and a simple mind. It's not that I'm not motivated, it's not that I don't pursue perfection, but what is perfection in life? Sometimes my idea is really simple. As for me, I hope to live in ancient times, live in an era without war, live uncontested, work at sunrise and return at sunset, and don't laugh at my backwardness and obsession. This is just my innermost thoughts, not an escape from reality, but a yearning. If I can, how I wish I lived in the Tang Dynasty. At that time, I didn't have to make too many choices, worry about studying and exams, and feel sorry for not going to college. In those days, I didn't have to lose weight, maybe I was a beauty.

Classic funny self-introduction 1 1 1980 domestic, long 178cm, gross weight 66kg. Using artificial intelligence, all parts are complete and the operation is stable. After more than 20 years of operation, it is a reliable product. The "product" has complete procedures and can be returned indefinitely. Now, due to development needs, we are looking for people who are interested in each other, and we are developing the second generation voice chat software. If you are interested, please contact us!

Classic funny self-introduction 12 Dear lively and lovely brothers and sisters:

Hello everyone!

Everything starts with me, and friendship starts with me. My name is X. I hope everyone will be smiling and happy from the moment they know X.

I am a warm, generous and lively girl. I hope my enthusiasm can add more colors to your life and make your life more passionate. My liveliness can make you livelier than oxygen. My enthusiasm and generosity can make you boldly communicate with each other, friends and strangers, ok?

I come from Sichuan Basin, one of the four great basin cities in China. Due to the topography of the basin, the climate is pleasant. Because of the latitude and longitude position, I am called the holy land of beauty. So there are many beautiful women and handsome men in my hometown, and I am the most special beauty in my hometown. I am called Snow White in Africa, Mona Lisa in Europe, Queen Elizabeth Lu in Britain, and Girl Irina Captier Lova in the United States. I hope that from the moment you remember the name X, you can recall the fairy tales you saw in your childhood and never forget some great men in history.

Sichuan spice girls are well known and unique. There is a song that says, "Spice girls are hot, Spice girls are hot, and Spice girls are not afraid of spicy food since childhood". This just sings the characteristics that hot girls love spicy food and can eat spicy food. Spice girls have two meanings: first, they are in a hurry, never hesitate to make a decision, but they are resolute, often leaving behind achievements and taking away confused things. I hope everyone can understand that the spice girl will not be confused from this moment on. (good)

Chengdu snacks have a unique style, unique taste and color. My mouth is watering when I listen, dazzling when I look at it, full of praise when I smell it, and memorable when I eat it. There is a saying that all roads lead to Rome. In my hometown, it is an agreement that all roads have snacks. I will take you to eat those snack streets.

Classic funny self-introduction 13 If you want to find a handsome guy, don't come, it's too late. That was seven years ago.

If you want to find an ATM, don't see me. You're early. Maybe in the future.

You should choose a long-term blue chip like Warren Buffett. Congratulations. Here you are. It is the future of Coca-Cola, Procter & Gamble (Gillette), Wells Fargo and Sisi Candy, which can keep profits and increase profits even in the economic crisis.

There is no requirement for academic qualifications, but female doctoral degree or above is absolutely impossible; No occupation is required, but the following occupations are not allowed: female entrepreneurs are not allowed to talk, female government officials are not allowed to talk, cemetery salesmen and insurance salesmen please don't come to me, gay men don't bother (lesbians can consider), I'm not gay. It is impossible for those who are frigid to have children. First of all, I have a strong sexual desire. Secondly, looking for a wife to have children or want to be self-reliant. It doesn't matter whether I'm a virgin or not. Like Yang Guo, I have no virgin plot, because I also know that it is too difficult to find a good virgin wife now, which is not much higher than the probability of being struck by lightning all my life. I just want to find a good wife. After watching the movie "If You Are the One", I realized that there are all kinds of people who want to marry, and even people who want to marry promote the cemetery. Sorry, I'm not interested. My parents are in good health. It reminds me that the purpose is to sell insurance, but if you have the sincerity to form a family with me, it is still possible. The purpose is not to sell insurance, but it is acceptable, although I have done insurance. I come from the north. I don't want to earn 1000 yuan but spend 2000 yuan, because I'm not Li Ka-shing, and I don't deserve you. Lv, Prada, Chanel, Burberry. People who meet the above conditions, we don't have to meet or contact each other, so as not to disappoint each other.

Handsome and talented David Beckham and Johnny Depp won't propose to you. Different from Roi, I have a dream of Notting Hill, and I look forward to the wonderful encounter in Rome holiday. If you have such a romantic and beautiful experience, why refuse it? I have no objection to romance and beauty.

If you are really a fairy, I can't take it. I didn't expect you to look like the cover of Playboy, and I was shocked at first sight. Ordinary people who are fashionable in appearance, conservative in heart, sincere in heart, kind, kind and healthy in body and mind will become. Specifically, you need to meet several conditions, such as loving your future husband and family, being filial to your parents, including your in-laws, being frank and generous, tolerant of others, and being single-minded. You can be realistic, but you must never just recognize money. It is more reliable to have connotation and wisdom. Don't be too careful, don't be too old, don't take you out, other children just call you aunt or grandma. I can't cook, because I can cook, which is the kind of craft that ordinary people don't spit after eating. But you must be able to wash clothes, hand washing and washing machines. After washing clothes, they will be folded as if they had just been bought from the store. Be specific enough. Some people may say that I am a toad who wants to eat swan meat, and I don't want to do it to others. If I can't do it, I will never ask others to do it. I have all the above conditions, except that I won't have children.

Classic Funny Self-introduction 14 Hello everyone, my name is Zhang Weiwei, neither tall nor short, neither fat nor thin, neither too warm nor too hot, neither male nor female, oh, it should be female! How old should I be this year? I keep a low profile. When have you ever heard me talk about my glorious past? My hobby is thinking about ideals, my ideal is to be a philosopher, and philosophy is my major, and my major is also my hobby! Good woman is me, I am Zhang Weiwei!

Classic funny self-introduction 15, lively and lovely brothers and sisters, hello!

I am a warm, generous and lively girl. I hope my enthusiasm can add more colors to your life and make your life more passionate. My liveliness can make you livelier than oxygen. My enthusiasm and generosity can make you boldly communicate with each other, friends and strangers, ok?

I come from Sichuan Basin, one of the four great basin cities in China. Due to the topography of the basin, the climate is pleasant. Because of the latitude and longitude position, I am called the holy land of beauty. So there are many beautiful women and handsome men in my hometown, and I am the most special beauty in my hometown. I am called Mona Lisa in Europe, and Sichuan Spice Girls are even more famous. Spicy has two meanings: first, it refers to a hot girl who is enthusiastic about doing things, makes resolute choices, but is resolute, and often leaves achievements. Take away the confusion. I hope you can understand what the hot girls don't understand from this moment on. On the stage stood a most representative and special spice girl. Please contact me more. I can let you try the spice of a hot girl and her style of doing things ~

Finally, I wish you all: flat head and blue sky, down-to-earth and smooth sailing, thank you!

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