How to ease the quarrel between two people?

How to ease the quarrel between two people?

How to ease the quarrel between two people, the deep affection in love has turned into a quarrel over time, and some trivial things can make both sides dissatisfied. Sometimes your quarrel may ruin the whole marriage. Let me share with you how to ease the quarrel between the two.

How to ease the quarrel between two people 1 First, the cordon principle.

When quarreling, we often say a lot of outrageous things because of intense emotions, and this truth is easily overlooked in the mediation of quarrels. People often attack each other's shortcomings because of intense emotions, and immediately seize an opportunity, just like catching a pigtail and working hard in this regard. Remember, if you can't master this cordon principle in an argument, please make it on weekdays. For example, some people set up a warning line, that is, no matter how we quarrel now, we will go to bed tomorrow and make up after getting up. Or, even if there is a terrible quarrel, don't mention the topic of breaking up, and so on. So the cordon principle is to tell you that you must abide by each other's bottom line, and don't cause consequences for both sides because of a temporary impulse. Also, the cordon principle also tells you not to attack each other's foothold. Never say that you are not a man at all. This is especially fatal for a man. Men don't say what's wrong with you. You're not a girl at all. Remember, it is the stupidest thing to turn over old scores when quarreling. Think about it, you already have something to quarrel with, so why add fuel to the fire and make it worse?

Second, dullness.

Junichi Watanabe, a Japanese writer, put forward the passive principle, which can be interpreted as "plain strength", that is, calmly facing setbacks and pains in life. He said, be insensitive to what is in front of you and don't take everything to heart.

In order to make the argument more solid, I will give an example in the workplace to illustrate.

In a company, Ayuan and Daliang are both new employees. Ayuan is superior to Daliang in all aspects and has strong business ability. However, once it was because the leader criticized the two of them, and Liang Da was a person who was insensitive to things, so after the leader scolded him, he still did what he should do. In contrast, A Yuan is an extremely sensitive person to other people's opinions. So, at work, he was thinking in his mind all day, why did the leader scold me and why. Over time, A Yuan applied for resignation. In this example, we can clearly feel the influence of insensitivity. Therefore, in a love quarrel, a little less sensitive suspicion may be of great help to ease the quarrel.

Third, what about giving her victory?

In the entertainment circle, there is such a model couple: Jordan chan and Cherrie Ying. These two people are both impatient, and before they came together, they were both unruly dissidents. But after they were together, Jordan chan obviously lost everything in Cherrie Ying. Once in an interview, Jordan chan said, throw in the towel after a quarrel. Anyway, it's nothing. In fact, feelings are like this. When two people are together, many times they are not arguing about who is right or wrong. After all, the problem you face is often not a right or wrong problem. So, leave her a lot of indifferent victories? If you are wronged, give it to her. After all, Ma Yun once said that men's hearts are wronged.

Fourth, if there is an argument, what should we do after it? A very effective way is to carry the pot on your back as much as possible.

For example, you should have listened to me that day and went to this restaurant. This is your answer, yes, I was crowded by the door. How can I choose a restaurant different from yours?

Why did you choose such an ugly skirt? That's what you should answer. Yes, it's just that my aesthetics haven't reached your height. Don't be angry. If you show weakness in the process, the effect should be better. After all, another meaning of weakness is that I already know that I am wrong.

I believe that quarreling is inevitable in love. If you know it is inevitable, then choose to face it. I hope this lesson is helpful to you. I also hope you remember that it is not easy to get together and leave, so please consider it carefully.

How to ease the quarrel between two people? 2. break the situation.

The cold war between lovers or lovers must be broken by one party, otherwise the cold war will not only solve the substantive problems, but also cause emotional problems.

Communication.

Since there are problems between lovers or lovers, the long cold war will make the resentment between two people more and more serious, which is not conducive to reconciliation between two people. So we need one of them to break the deadlock, and then sit down and communicate well.

Find out the causes of the cold war.

The cold war between lovers or husband and wife is definitely an insoluble contradiction between husband and wife. If you want a harmonious relationship between husband and wife, you must sit down and talk calmly, and then find out the root of the problem, which is conducive to solving the problem.

Analyze the problem.

Now that we know the problem between you, let's analyze the problem and see if you two are making a mountain out of a molehill, because trivial things make each other unhappy, or there is really a problem.

Solve the problem.

If the cold war between two people is only caused by a few mouths, then it will be naive to calm down. If there is a problem, then discuss and reach an agreement, and consider the problem from the other side's position.

Make up.

If the problem is solved, then your cold war will be over. Through the communication between couples, you will find that it is precisely because of the lack of necessary communication that two people can't really understand each other and enter each other's psychology, so it is very necessary for couples or couples to communicate regularly.

How to ease the quarrel between two people? 3. deal with emotions.

When a person is emotional, his behavior often gets out of control. It is these out-of-control behaviors that make you do something you will regret. The first thing after a fierce quarrel is to deal with your emotions.

1, cooling

You can't solve this argument immediately after a heated argument. You are still angry at this time, which is not a good time to solve the problem. What you need to do is take time to calm down, a few hours, or even a day or two. Take time to do something else before you can look at this quarrel rationally.

Of course, you can't leave without saying anything, which will seriously affect your relationship. What you have to say is, "I'm sorry. I need time to calm down. Can we talk tomorrow? "

2. Analyze the causes of the quarrel.

There is no quarrel for no reason. You need to spend some time to find out the reason and think about whether it will be better to handle it in another way next time.

But one thing you should remember is that your memory is subjective, especially after an argument, and sometimes it may be different from your partner. This is normal and needs mutual understanding.

Step 3 express your feelings

This is very important. Repressing oneself often leads to more serious outbreaks. Don't ignore your emotions, but admit and tell each other.

Of course, it is also skillful to tell each other. You can't say, "Why did you do this yesterday?" This kind of accusation but no logic will often bring more serious consequences. You should say, "I'm angry at your way." Saying the specific reasons is the correct and effective expression.

Settle an argument

When both sides calm down, all we have to do is find time to solve this argument face to face, which is also skillful.

1, good communication

You don't need to bring too many details when you speak, you should be concise and clear. Don't interrupt each other when they are talking. Also, ask her what she doesn't understand from time to time, and ask her what you don't understand. And make eye contact, which will show that you are sincere. You can nod your head occasionally to show that you are listening.

Step 2 pay attention to her feelings

The most hurtful thing in a relationship is that you ignore each other's feelings. Maybe she is really wrong, but the first thing you should do is not to blame her, but to understand her. What you should say most is: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." When you show that you care about her feelings, no matter who is wrong, you can ease the tension at the moment and let her know that you still care about her.

Step 3 apologize

No matter who was wrong at first, everyone did something wrong in this heated argument. You should apologize for your previous wrong behavior and let her feel your sincerity.

Prevent future quarrels

This argument is not over yet. You should also solve the problems that caused your quarrel to prevent future quarrels. If you don't solve the problem, the next time you quarrel, you will often turn this problem out to settle old scores, which will often intensify.

You can make an agreement, for example, the next time such a problem arises, don't argue immediately, but give both parties five minutes to express their emotions, which will often solve the argument more gently.

Summary:

I have written a lot, but to sum up, the way to solve the argument is actually very simple. There are three main points. First, listen, calm down and listen to each other's demands. The second is to apologize. Even if you think you are completely right, you should apologize. It is often more important to take the initiative to apologize than to be right. Finally, communication. All quarrels are actually communication problems. You need a good communication.