Forever nostalgia

Tomb-Sweeping Day in China is a very special day: it is both a solar term and a festival; It not only marks the birth of everything, but also commemorates the death of the past. Tomb-Sweeping Day in 2009 was a heartbreaking and heartbreaking day for our whole family. My grandmother who loved me the most died. After my father's funeral, my grandmother's voice and smile always came to my eyes. I recorded my grandmother's dribs and drabs and the last parting moment with tears in my eyes, so as to remember my amiable, lovely and respectable grandmother forever.

-Inscription

? Grandma left. At 36: 00 on March 1 Sunday, 2009, the 86-year-old grandmother died peacefully. On that day, the breath of spring was particularly strong. The willow branches in the street just spit out goose yellow and swayed in the breeze. The apricot blossoms all over the mountains are gorgeous, and the air is filled with the fragrance of the earth. It began to rain in Mao Mao early in the morning, and it was warm and cold at first. Grandma slowly closed her eyes in this gentle breeze and drizzle. At the moment when grandma left, the rain suddenly seemed like a burst of rain, and the long-lost spring rain was also saying goodbye to grandma. Father, mother, uncle, aunt, brother and I all stood beside grandma in turn. Touch grandma's hand. It's warm, but it's not cold. Her old man lay quietly in bed, dressed in a neat shroud, and looked natural and serene. The family was immersed in endless grief. The two aunts have been sobbing for a long time. They are afraid to disturb their neighbors. They climbed on the bed, covered their mouths with quilts, swallowed their tears and twitched their shoulders. My father, mother, brother and my whole family were in tears. Contact the funeral home, ask Mr. Feng Shui to draw the cemetery, book a hotel and receive guests, all in an orderly manner in a solemn atmosphere. For the first two days, we stayed at home and waited for grandma. Many people came to pay their respects, including distant relatives and neighbors who came to see grandma for the last time, close friends who came to mourn grandma and comfort dad, and relatives and friends who came to help deal with the aftermath. During the day, there are too many people to imagine. At night, although there are four grandmothers, father, mother, two aunts, two younger brothers and eight of me at home, I always feel that the room is empty and I can't help feeling sad. Dad told us all to rest in bed, and he slept alone beside grandma during the wake. But my big brother, Panda Kai, insisted on staying with my father. After grandma was ill, my father stayed with me for several days and didn't sleep for several days. Every night, he wears clothes and lies on the sofa to see his grandmother. At four o'clock the next morning, when I was half awake and half asleep, I vaguely heard crying from the living room. It turned out that the giant panda Kai lit incense in front of grandma's portrait, kowtowed and looked at grandma's portrait and cried alone. This is probably: men don't flick when they have tears, just because they haven't reached the sad place yet. On the third day, when my father, several uncles, two younger brothers and several cousins, such as Sheshe, Dengfeng and Wangwang, silently moved grandma's coffin to the funeral car and sent it to the funeral home for parking, it was a glorious day. Everything was done in silence, without disturbing anyone in the community. Grandma quietly left home, quietly left us! My mother's tears never stopped from the moment I woke up at home. Just as grandma's coffin was carried out, my mother and aunt couldn't help crying. That sad cry is an infinite attachment to grandma. Yes, how can mom not cry? The most uncomfortable and painful person at this moment should be the mother. Although she and her grandmother are mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, after more than 40 years of ups and downs, they get along day and night and are inseparable. Blood is thicker than water, and affection is better than mother and daughter. Grandma is leaving tonight, saying goodbye to the world and never coming back. Who will accompany her in the future? At noon on the Monday before grandma died, my mother called and said that grandma was very energetic that day. She ate something in the morning and at noon, and she kept chanting the names of me and my brother. Maybe this is what people often say. But it happened that we both had a hard time and failed to see grandma in time. At the meeting in the afternoon, I received a short message from my second brother Weiwei, and learned that grandma was in poor health. In a hurry, I got on the bus home with the giant panda, and tears welled up all the way. I'm afraid I'll never see my grandmother again. Panda Kai Kai didn't want me to cry, saying that Grandma must be waiting for us to go back! An hour later, we arrived home. Grandma's life was at stake. She couldn't speak! When she saw us coming back, she looked very happy and excited, with a smile on her face. Although she was very angry, she stroked the panda Kai and me with her hand. Her eyes are full of love, and she seems to comfort us and signal us not to cry. Although I can't hear what she is saying clearly, I can feel what she is saying! I can feel her deep attachment to us. It's a pity to think of it. We didn't get home until 5: 30 that day, only an hour and a half away, and we couldn't catch up with grandma's last entrustment! For the next four days, we stayed with grandma. She can't eat or drink water Close her eyes and mouth and refuse everything outside. Every few minutes, I will dip a cotton swab in water to wet grandma's lips. She will subconsciously open her mouth, but there is still no sound. The air is suffocating, dad said, grandma may just fall asleep and never wake up again! But when I gently call grandma in her ear, she will still open her eyes with difficulty. I held grandma's hand and said, can grandma hear me? Have some porridge. She just motioned to me slightly, and she had no strength at all. I fell on my grandmother's ear, my cheek pressed against her face, conveying this last warmth, and my tears fell silently. Grandma just seems to sleep soundly, occasionally moving her mouth and lifting the quilt with her hands. So on the fifth morning, she slowly failed to measure her blood pressure, slowly lost her pulse, and then stopped breathing. Grandma finished her life journey and left us forever!

On March 3rd and 4th, 2009, we held a grand mourning ceremony according to Zhenyuan custom. Nuoda's funeral home is solemn, filled with cigarettes, and the funeral music is low. The crape book in front of the door reads, "The sound of the loom painting is still there, and the mother instrument of Defeng Ciyun leans on her feet (horizontally approved as" Ai Goose "). There is a photo of grandma hanging in the middle of the hall, which is full of paper works made for grandma, including paradise villa, hall garden, TV car, paper horse, paper deer and paper car. People came to mourn grandma in an endless stream, including relatives, neighbors, dad's superiors, colleagues, leaders, colleagues and friends of our brothers and sisters. Just before the memorial service began, there was a childish and sad "grandpa, grandpa, where is my wife?" I want my wife! The wailing of the funeral home attracted the attention of the guests. It turns out that 10-year-old nephew Bu Hougang just came from Zhenyuan. He and his younger brother Buren wore Dai Xiao hats and mourning clothes. Seeing such a scene, they couldn't help crying for a wife holding their grandfather's leg. Yes, when the child came back to see his wife the other day, she was still alive and stroking his great-grandson's head. But when he came back today, he saw his wife's portrait! Tears welled up at an early age, and everyone present was shocked by his wife's true feelings, sincere intentions and sad voice! The sacrificial ceremony began. First, a ceremony was held under the auspices of Uncle Fan Runlong. Dad's genealogy is on his head, and he knelt down and walked forward. When Mr. Zhang, deputy director of Qingyang Municipal People's Congress, touched the grandmother, the audience was silent. Then, Mr. Zhao Baoxi, former director of zhenyuan county People's Congress, presented a brick to the old woman. There are two black Shi Zhuan on the table in front of the hall. One brick is engraved with grandma's epitaph, which describes grandma's life in detail, and the other brick is engraved with grandpa's epitaph, which summarizes grandpa's life. (Grandpa's original epitaph was handmade adobe, which was not detailed enough. This time, he carved another one for grandpa. ) Finally, Grandpa Tian Zhengxiang, former director of the Bureau of Retired Veteran Cadres, read a eulogy for Grandma. In the words of Grandpa Tian, I said in a cadence that grandma's life had a deep influence on people's hearts. Before Grandpa Tian's words were finished, his father began to cry sadly, and the filial sons and relatives present couldn't help crying and burst into tears. "Broken stars are hard to see, and you cry in the middle of the night." This couplet hanging above the hall is a true portrayal of this situation at this moment! At grandma's memorial service, there was a scene that moved everyone: because my mother was filial to the elderly and considerate, grandma's maiden brother (my third uncle in Chang's family) suddenly proposed to wear red for her mother in recognition of her kindness and filial piety! No one has seen this agenda at the memorial ceremony. When the long red silk was draped over the mother's shoulder, all the people present were filled with emotion and amazed! I was deeply moved by this scene, which is the greatest affirmation and praise for my mother, and also contains how much love and affection between their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law! Grandma's deep understanding of righteousness, mother's virtuous filial piety once again quietly educated me! I murmured in my mind: Grandma, although you experienced hardships in your childhood, you are as happy as the East China Sea in your later years. Rest in peace in your happy house!

Fallen leaves return to their roots. At 4 o'clock in the morning on March 5, we set off from the funeral home and took a bus back to the old place to bury grandma. Before dying, grandma called her mother's nickname and asked her to take her back to her hometown. Dad said, "Mom, you listen to my arrangement. We're not going anywhere. A hundred years later, I'll send you back to my father's grave in Maiqi Bay. " Grandma listened to her father's words and readily agreed. Grandma, our family will take you home today! Dad holds grandma's guide pole, Vivian holds the guide cock, I hold grandma's portrait, the giant panda opens in front and scatters paper money, and the second aunt sits next to grandma's coffin. Our whole family surrounded and escorted grandma back to her hometown. The motorcade with a uniform speed of 40 yards slowly drove out of Xifeng Street and turned around. I saw the long motorcade crawling forward with the hearse like pearls in the dark ... I asked my father, what's the use of throwing paper money? Aunt said that it means to buy a toll, that is, there is a ghost in the grave, and the money has passed, which is equivalent to the current toll. ""In that case, why don't we call a police car to clear the way? " I said to my father. Dad said: no, your grandmother will follow me closely, and she will follow me wherever I go! Dad said so firmly, and I firmly believe it. Yes, grandma has been following dad since grandpa died. First I went to zhenyuan county, then I moved to Ningxian because of my father's work, and then I went to Xifeng. Wherever my father goes, she always follows her son closely! At 7: 00 a.m. on March 5, we returned to the graveyard of grandma Maggie Bay, Xinji's hometown. When the hearse went down the hill, I saw many people standing there in the distance, leaning against shovels or looking ahead. It was the villagers who came to see grandma off. They waited here at 5 o'clock in the morning regardless of the chilly spring. The villagers also invited two drums, and the grunting and stuttering tunes echoed in Shan Ye. This situation really makes people laugh and cry. Grandma's graveyard, the first thing you see is a couplet floating in the wind: "864 generations under one roof have all returned to Qiancun;" "I have worked hard all my life in the two dynasties, hoping to last forever." This is the elegiac couplet written by the thirteenth master for grandma on behalf of all the people, and it is also the most simple and authentic evaluation of her life by the villagers. Many people came to the cemetery to see grandma off, including my family, villagers from several neighboring villages and relatives and friends. On the winding and rugged mountain road, I counted 32 cars and more than 300 people. I heard many people talking about grandma's past before her death, and her words were full of praise and exclamation. An aunt in my hometown took my hand and said, "Pinpin, I've been planning to visit your grandmother in Xifeng, but I can't get away from farm work." I didn't know how she died. It was your grandmother who saved our family's life in difficult times, and I will never forget her kindness ... "My uncle in my hometown asked me," You are your grandmother's favorite! Did her old man enjoy your happiness? " In the face of my uncle's question, I suddenly don't know how to answer it, because in my memory, my grandmother has always paid much more for me than I have given her!

A load of loess was buried in grandma's grave. At nine o'clock, grandpa's grave had a new grave. The Feng Shui master told me: The ancients said that your grandmother is indeed a blessed person in a fertile land. Maggie Bay in March is not only a good year, but also a good month. Grandma happens to take a walk on the first day of the third lunar month. In the early spring, the pulse gas bay is all over the mountains, and the spring is full. Green wheat seedlings and apricot flowers are competing to open. 16 years later, grandparents were reunited again. Meet again in this spring March. I remember, grandpa's birthday is on the third day of the third lunar month, and grandma must be in a hurry to prepare it for grandpa. ...

I have always known that life is so fragile that it can't stand a little bit of wind and rain. I always knew that grandma was old and would leave us one day, but I didn't seem to subconsciously connect death with grandma. Until, grandma died. How did I feel grandma's life disappear step by step, how did I watch her body slowly put into the coffin, and with what emotion did I watch her coffin slowly move into the grave. I don't even believe it's true. It's like dreaming. It seems that I can still see grandma when I turn around. Grandma is still alive, sitting on the bed in the living room and smiling at us. When we left Maggie Bay, it began to rain in Mao Mao, and the wind mixed with raindrops hit me. Step by step, we left Maggie Bay and said goodbye to grandma. At this moment, tears flooded my cheeks again. The tears that remind me send deep blessings to her life in heaven! Bless grandma happiness and well-being in the spirit of heaven!

? April 2009