Why do you want to know the customs and taboos of European and American countries?

Due to the different historical and cultural backgrounds of different countries, people in different countries have many different habits when communicating with each other. Especially between China and the West, there are great differences in etiquette, and misunderstandings and jokes caused by not understanding these differences are common. There are two stories in modern history that I believe you will be familiar with. The first story is that Li Hongzhang once went to dinner at the invitation of Bismarck. Because he didn't know western etiquette, he drank a bowl of water to wash his hands after eating fruit. Bismarck didn't know the reality of China at that time. In order not to embarrass Li Hongzhang, he also gulped down the washing water. When other officials saw this, they could only laugh. Another story is that a Kuomintang officer and his wife went to the airport to meet an adviser from the United States. After the two sides met, the American consultant said politely, "Your wife is really beautiful!" "Embarrassed, the officer couldn't help saying politely," Where, where! "In China, this is a very common polite expression, but it is poorly translated. It has been translated into: where? Where is it? Hearing this, the American consultant was puzzled and thought, I just praised his wife politely, and he actually asked me how beautiful his wife was. So he had to say, "Beautiful from head to toe! "These two stories are etiquette jokes caused by cultural differences between China and the West. It can be seen that it is necessary to understand the differences between Chinese and western manners. Generally speaking, a country's understanding of the manners and customs of another country, whether politically or economically, will be beneficial to the exchanges between countries. From a small point of view, a person's understanding of each other's etiquette and folk customs is a respect for each other, and it is easy to leave a good impression on each other, so that communication can proceed smoothly. With the continuous development of eastern and western cultures, eastern and western etiquette is merging with each other. Westerners gradually accept the reasonable factors such as attaching importance to emotion in eastern culture, and Oriental Renye Fang gradually accepts the etiquette and communication methods of advanced civilization in western culture. However, in real life, due to the cultural differences between the East and the West, there are still many influences on etiquette. Therefore, this paper discusses the influence of cultural differences between the East and the West on etiquette from the following aspects: First, the influence of social communication on etiquette. Both East and West attach great importance to interpersonal communication, but there are obvious differences in communication concepts and communication methods. For example, China people are hospitable and full of enthusiasm in interpersonal communication. It seems that they have nothing to keep, and take it for granted that they know age, occupation, income, marital status, children and other issues. In western countries, special attention is paid to each other's right to privacy. Personal privacy mainly includes: personal status (age, work, income, marriage, children, etc. ), political ideas (which side to support or oppose), religious beliefs (what religion to believe in), personal behavior tendencies (where to go, who to associate with, correspondence) and so on. Anyone who involves personal privacy can't ask directly. Westerners are generally unwilling to interfere in other people's private lives and personal privacy, and they are unwilling to be interfered by others. For example, in China, people will directly ask others the price of the goods they buy. Because in the eyes of China people, the price of an item can only explain the quality of the item. In the eyes of westerners, if you directly ask others about the price of shopping, you may be asking about their economic conditions. So this is also the privacy of westerners, and it is not suitable to ask directly. If you want to know the price of an item, you can only praise it euphemistically. In this case, westerners generally only tell you the price of the goods, and generally don't tell you the exact price. People in China like to ask, "Where are you going? "This is a way of greeting. In America, if you ask your friend where he is going, it may embarrass him, because it belongs to the other person's privacy and you shouldn't ask. In addition, the spatial distance of interpersonal communication can be divided into four types: intimate distance, personal distance, social distance and public distance. People in China are close in space. We can often see two China girls walking down the street arm in arm, but it is rare in the west. Westerners think that China people are too close, while China people will think that westerners are too cold, arrogant and distant, which is unfriendly. If China people find a thread on the clothes of their communication partners, they will naturally help them take it off. In the eyes of westerners, this is impolite. When Chinese people see a friend wearing a very beautiful dress, they will touch it and ask about the price or texture. Westerners don't. They are more envious and praise directly. In a word, this is all caused by the differences in cultural concepts between the East and the West. Orientals attach importance to righteousness and affection, while westerners advocate individual independence. Second, the impact of differences in personal outlook on life on etiquette (1) Personal honor and modesty Westerners worship personal struggle, especially take pride in personal achievements, and never hide their confidence, honor and ecstasy after their achievements. On the contrary, China culture does not advocate showing off personal honor, but advocating modesty and prudence. Generally speaking, most people in China object to or despise the boasting of the old woman selling melons, but the modesty or self-denial of China people often make westerners dissatisfied. For example, "Your English is good" and "No, no, my English is poor"; "You did a good job." "No, I don't think so. This is the result of joint efforts. "This is, of course, a modest statement in the eyes of China people, but in the eyes of Westerners, it not only denies itself, but also denies the editor's appreciation. It can be seen that this kind of Chinese modesty will not work in the competitive market of western capitalism. (2) Self-centeredness and selfless dedication Westerners have a strong sense of self-centeredness and independence, mainly in: 1 Take responsibility for yourself. In the law of the jungle society, everyone's lifestyle and quality of life depend on their own abilities, so everyone should strive for themselves and put personal interests first; I am not used to caring and helping others, but asking others. It is precisely because of the above two points that it is often embarrassing to take the initiative to help others or accept help from others in the West. Because accepting help can only prove your incompetence, and taking the initiative to help others will be considered as interfering in other people's private affairs. China people's code of conduct is "whether I am useful to others and society", and personal value is reflected in dedication. China culture advocates a noble sentiment-selfless dedication. In China, it is a virtue to take the initiative to care for others and give them meticulous consideration. Therefore, China people are willing to take the initiative to care about their family affairs and private affairs, regardless of other people's major events, which will be considered as "meddling" in the West. (3) The spirit of innovation and the golden mean Western culture encourages people to innovate and do something extraordinary that has never been done before. However, the traditional culture of China requires people to be impartial and mean. China people are good at predicting future dangers and are more willing to maintain the status quo and harmony. Of course, in recent years, China has also vigorously advocated innovation and reform, but the pragmatic and steady mentality is still everywhere. The spirit of adventure is still incomparable to westerners. (4) Freedom of personality, unity and cooperation Westerners cherish personal freedom very much, like to do whatever they want and go it alone, and don't want to be restricted. China culture emphasizes collectivism, advocates that individual interests are subordinate to collective interests, and advocates sharing weal and woe, unity and cooperation, and keeping pace. Third, the influence of different legal concepts on etiquette. Oriental culture is represented by Confucianism, which values righteousness over profit. For the friendship between brothers and friends, we can be lenient, even at all costs, and the result is often excessive behavior and loss of more due benefits. For example, people in China value human feelings and have strong human feelings. There is an old saying: "Blood is thicker than water", "Kiss or not, hometown people, beauty or not, hometown water." These words mean that human feelings affect judgment, and human feelings are more important than morality. "Water", even if it is not beautiful, is beautiful as long as it is domestic water. This is a manifestation that emotion is more important than reason. Sometimes emotion is even more important than law, which is mainly because China has always had an emotional influence on the legal system space, that is to say, in China, we stress rationality first, and then legitimacy. If it is legal and unreasonable, it will be difficult to implement this law. If it is reasonable, there are rules to follow. Westerners are the opposite. Westerners value law, not human feelings. Law precedes reason, and reason precedes emotion. We often see father and son, husband and wife and friends in the west go to court. Some things are obviously unreasonable, but they are legal. Losers can only admit that they are unlucky, and onlookers can only tolerate them. But if something is illegal, even if it is reasonable, westerners will argue endlessly until it goes to court. In sensible China, there is a strong human touch, so you can do something, trust others and get along well. This is a natural insurance system, and it is easy for people to tide over difficulties in a difficult environment. So in China, human relations are extremely important, and life is full of family happiness. But it is also prone to injustice; In western countries with legal feelings, human feelings are like paper, which can be said to be "the voices of chickens and dogs hear each other and don't communicate with each other." If there is any contradiction, reason first, then go to court, simple and clear. Westerners are indifferent to human feelings, but fair and equal. Even a grassroots person can go to court with the Prime Minister as long as it is really reasonable and legal. Living in western countries is a bit like being rich and beautiful in the Guanghan Palace, but there is a general sense of coldness. Especially for the elderly, it is very pitiful for us in China to be lonely and walk alone. Fourth, the influence of different social customs on etiquette In eastern culture, men are often respected, which is mainly influenced by the feudal etiquette concept that men are superior to women. In modern society, oriental culture also advocates equality between men and women, but in many cases, the status of men is still higher than that of women, and women are still discriminated against. In western countries such as Europe and America, respecting women is a traditional custom, and giving priority to women is one of the principles in communication in western countries. No matter what kind of public place, men should take care of women. For example, when shaking hands, women hold out their hands first, and then men can follow. When going to eat, the man should sit down with the woman first, and the woman should order first. When entering the door, the lady should go first. Get on and off the elevator. The lady is in front. Now, with the deepening of cultural exchanges between the East and the West, the western principle of giving priority to women is also favored in the East. The blending of eastern and western cultures also makes eastern and western etiquette increasingly integrated, unified and more international. For another example, the eastern countries, represented by China, pay special respect and filial piety to the elderly when dealing with the relationship between the old and the young. For example, in the eyes of many people in China, it is unfilial for the elderly to send their children to nursing homes or nursing homes when they get old. Children usually spend the Spring Festival with the elderly. In some rural areas of China, during the Spring Festival, the younger generation should bow to their elders. In western countries, due to the promotion of self-reliance, children have less and less contact with their parents when they are adults, which makes many old people often feel lonely and have a sense of desolation in their later years. Fifth, the influence of the difference of hierarchy on etiquette. Oriental culture has a strong sense of hierarchy. No matter in the organization or in the family, it is unseemly to ignore rank and status. Although the hierarchy in the traditional etiquette system has been eliminated, the concept of hierarchy still has an impact on eastern culture. In China, the traditional hierarchical concept of monarch, minister and father is still deeply rooted. The father is the absolute authority in the eyes of his son, and the teacher is the absolute authority in the eyes of his students. Family background still plays an important role in people's growth. In addition, the family structure in China is more complicated, and the traditional happy family is four generations living under one roof. In such a family, the elderly help to look after the children, and the children and grandchildren help to support the elderly when they grow up. Family members depend on each other and help each other, which brings them closer to each other. In western countries, except for a few countries such as Britain, which have hereditary aristocracy and strict hierarchy, most western countries advocate the concept of equality. Especially in America, people advocate equality. Few people are proud of their distinguished family background, and few people are ashamed of their poor family background, because they all know that as long as they work hard, they will succeed. As a popular American proverb says, "Cowboys can be presidents as long as they work hard." If you work hard, even a cowboy can be president. At home, Americans don't talk about hierarchy. Parents and children can call each other by their first names as long as they respect each other. Their family values are often weak and they are unwilling to make too many sacrifices for their families. Of course, there are still many etiquette differences caused by cultural differences between China and the West, such as dress etiquette and dining etiquette. Due to the limitation of space, it is impossible to discuss it in depth here. In a word, China and the West have their own cultural habits, which have also produced many different communication habits.