The best know jokes to leave behind, do not be stingy!

Yes There is a matchstick, walking suddenly feel the head is very itchy, go to scratch, too much force caught fire ......

Going to the hospital for emergency treatment, after coming out, it turned into a cotton swab...

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There was a penguin who was so bored that he plucked his own fur to pass the time, and then finally plucked the The last hair was finally plucked. At this time it suddenly said: ah ah, so cold ah ~

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There are two bananas one in front of the other walking in the street, the one in front suddenly said: it's hot, I'm going to take off my jacket, then the one behind slipped.

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A little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?

The grandmother said: Yes, of course you are a penguin.

Then he went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, am I a penguin?

Daddy said: Of course you are a penguin.

The little penguin:But I feel so cold ....

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Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek club, and their leader hasn't been found yet

There was a hide-and-seek club, and their leader hasn't been found yet. p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The stone and the rice cake fought, and the stone kicked the rice cake into the sea

Once upon a time, there were A couple of lovers were engaged for life, but the boy needed to serve in the army, so he made a vow with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later on this day, and by then, that ring would be used as a wedding ring. Hardly 3 years have passed, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but has not been waiting, she was too sad, desperate she threw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. However, the boy in fact has been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, so it will be forever a regret. The boy was heartbroken... After a few years, the boy went out fishing, and guess what he caught?

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New Year's Cake!

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Tell a story, once upon a time there was a pair of lovers who were privately engaged to be married, but the boy needed to do his military service and made a vow with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl on this day three years later, when that ring would serve as a wedding ring.

Well 3 years passed, the boys on the boat back to their hometown but heard the news of the woman's marriage, he was too sad, desperate to throw the diamond ring into the sea, three days later, the ship docked. Boys go to the street restaurant to eat. A fish is served. He picks up the fish and bites it, bites into a hard thing, spits it out and looks at it, I K, guess what he sees?

Fish bones !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Dumplings are for boys or girls

Answer Boys because dumplings have a wrapper< /p>

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Question: what are cloth and paper afraid of?

Answer: cloth is afraid of everything, paper is afraid of everything.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only (paper) afraid of ten thousand.

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A lumberjack goes to apply for a job

Foreman:The woods in front of you go and Try... See how many trees you can saw in a minute .....

After a minute ....

Foreman:Wow .... 20 trees a minute .... That's awesome ..... Where did you work before?

Worker:Sahara Forest ......

The foreman:I've never heard of them...... I've only heard of the Sahara desert and the forest ......

Worker:Yes..... The name was changed!

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A man leaves his home to go to work on Friday afternoon. It's payday, so instead of going home, he spends the entire weekend out partying with friends and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally gets home on Sunday night, his furious wife is waiting for him and berates him for nearly an hour about what he did. Finally, she stopped yammering and asked him, "How would you feel if you couldn't see me for three days in a row?

He replied, "I'd feel fine."

Monday passed and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still didn't see his wife.

By Thursday,

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The swelling went down a bit, and he could barely see his wife out of the corner of his left eye

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Wife:I was so blind and stepped on shit to marry you.

Husband:I was really blind and stepped on shit to marry you.

...

Shit:I was really blind lying there before you two stepped on it...

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Electrical supplies held a joke-telling contest,

which mandated that each appliance tell a joke,

and make everyone in the audience laugh,

or be taken to Aruba. First up was the washing machine,

After he finished his joke, the whole audience laughed and laughed,

suddenly the rice cooker was heard to say, "It's so cold."

So the washing machine was taken to Aruba. Next up was the smartest computer of all, and as soon as he finished his joke, all the appliances doubled over in laughter,

Again the rice cooker was heard to say, "It's cold~~~"

So! The computer got caught in Aruba, too.

The third one is the most humorous lamp,

The lamp told the joke confidently, and everyone laughed until they rolled on the floor.

The rice cooker said, "It's so cold~~~"

Just as the lamp was about to be caught in Aruba,

the rice cooker stood up angrily and

The rice cooker was very angry. Up,

Turning to the refrigerator sitting behind him, he said:

"I've had enough of you laughing just laugh, don't open your mouth so wide, it's cold ugh"

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One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountains to pick fruits,

He announced: "Children, after picking fruits, we are unified to wash them together, and we can eat them together after washing. "

All the children ran off to pick fruit.

When it was time to gather, all the children gathered.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"

Small Hua:

"I'm washing apples because I picked apples."

Teacher:

"What about you, Xiaomei?"

Siu Mei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked them."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about you, Ah Ming?"

Ah Ming: "I'm washing my cloth shoes because I stepped in poop."

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The army called up the animals to fight in the war

So all the animals in the forest

The first monkey in line really didn't want to go into the army

He looked at his long tail

So he gritted his teeth and snapped it off

After he went in...

The army doctor said: the monkey's tail is broken, it's a handicap, no need to be a soldier ....

The second rabbit saw the monkey's behavior

and broke his long ears

After...

The army doctor said: "The rabbit's ear is broken, it's a handicap, so it doesn't need to be a soldier...".

The black bear in the third row thought to himself...

"My ears are so short, and my tail is almost as short as my ears are not, so what should I do?

The kind rabbits and monkeys came to help him...

Suddenly the monkey exclaimed, "I know, break your teeth and you'll be handicapped!

So the monkey and the rabbit gave the bear a good beating

Breaking all of his teeth. .....

The black bear went in for his medical checkup happily, even though it hurt

After a short time, the black bear came out

crying and covering his mouth ......

They said I was too fat to be a soldier

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Once upon a time there was a man who fished and caught a squid. a squid.

The squid begged him, "Let me go, don't grill me for dinner.

The man said, "Okay, then let me torture you with a few questions.

The squid was happy and said, "Go ahead and torture me!

Then the man grilled the squid...

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One day the green bean committed suicide by jumping off the 5th floor, bled a lot and turned into a red bean; kept bleeding pus, and became yellow beans; the wound scarred, and finally became black beans.

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There were five eggs in the refrigerator, and the first one said to the second one: hey ~ look ~ the fifth egg There is hairy oh ~ ~ so scary eh ~!

The second said to the third: Hey, look ~ the fifth egg has hairy Oh ~ ~ terrible terrible eh ~!

The third said to the fourth: Hey, look, the fifth egg is hairy. ．．．．．．

The fifth egg heard: "Get lost! I'm a kiwi~!!!!

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When would you want unification? When you buy instant noodles

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Ah Song and Ah Pak were chatting with each other about the years.

Ah Song: "Remembering my childhood, the happiest time I had was Children's Day."

Apai: "After ten years, it's Youth Day."

Azon: "After ten more years it's Father's Day."

Arbor: "In a couple decades it will be Old Man's Day."

Ah Song: "Another couple more decades ."

Apai: ". Ching Ming Festival."

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We all know that girls come every month, and we call the one that comes our "best friend". "good friend", but do you

know why they call it that?

→The three words "good friend" are not very evocative when you split them up? "Woman of the Month"!

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Smaller Ming said, "Kon, I'm asking you, "There's a shark! A shark ate a green bean, and what did it become?".

Kang said, "I don't know, what's the answer?"

Ming said, "The answer is "mung bean sand (mung bean shark)", you are very stupid!

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One day Xiao Qiang asked his dad, "Dad, am I a stupid kid? am not a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

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A three-quarter-rare steak and a five-quarter-rare steak met on the street, why did they didn't say hello? (Assuming they could talk)

Because ....................

Because ........................

Because they don't know each other well! Haha