The Chinese parents are generally "not the same as the knowledge and behavior", how to scientific parenting?

Chinese parents' "knowledge and behavioral inconsistency" is a common problem, and I think it may exist not only in China, but also all over the world. What I mean is that parents know what is good for their children, but when it comes to specific situations, they tend to use traditional methods of discipline and fail to do what is good for them. There is also a more common problem of inconsistency between words and deeds. Parents always ask their children to do this and that, but they often fail to do it themselves. For example, they don't let their children look at their cell phones, swiping them themselves while scolding them not to look at them all the time for fear that it's bad for their eyes. We also often see that when the child hits other children, the mother mouths, "Hitting is not a good child, how can you hit people? Let's see if you still hit people." Immediately, she slaps the child on the butt.

The reason this phenomenon occurs is because of the deep-rooted influence of the traditional way of education on us, and at the same time, we have too many expectations of our children within us, what we don't have, we hope our children have, what we can't do, we hope our children can do. We transfer all the anxiety we feel about the reality of our lives onto our children.

So what should be done in scientific parenting? It's all about "knowing what to do" and "practicing what you preach". When we know how to do what is good for the child, but can not do, will make us into a deep self-blame, more painful than not know. Of course, from know to do, really difficult, not a few behavioral changes can be done, but from the heart, from the thinking of a change, which is a long-term process, but also through the efforts of slowly can be achieved. We can start with "words and deeds", we should do what we say we will do, and what we expect our children to have, we will do it ourselves first. Children never listen to what we say, but rather what we do. When we keep telling our children how much we love them, but when they make the slightest mistake, we let them suffer a lot of scolding, how can they feel our love? We want our child to be an honest and trustworthy person, but we ourselves often break the promises we agreed with our child, what will the child learn?

So start with yourself, do what you say, teach by example, it's a long and difficult process, but it's worth working for.