How to learn to use emotional value to make the other person inseparable from you

How to learn to use emotional value to make the other person inseparable from you

1, emotional value is the foundation.

Anyone who has a little contact with emotional theory will know that emotional value is praise and sweetness, and making the other person happy is emotional value. To some extent, this can only be regarded as the ability to provide emotional value in the primary stage.

The slightly advanced ability to provide emotional value is actually the ability to control each other's emotions. You have the ability to make each other happy and also have the ability to make each other sad. Simply put, you can be each other's spiritual support. Deep emotional value is also the foundation of long-term love, that is, the level that men want to achieve in intimate relationships, so that men can't live without you spiritually.

2. Learn to control your emotions

The basis of emotional value is emotional stability. Always crying, always making trouble, always hanging himself, always quarreling over old scores. This is how emotions control you. Such behavior is like a split personality. How can I convince the other person that you can provide him with emotional value? There are too many reasons for breaking up in their early twenties, all because they can't control their unbalanced emotions and lead to the collapse of the relationship.

Before you learn to control others' emotions, you must learn to control your own emotions. So you need to do two things: you can distinguish yourself from your emotions, and you can manipulate your emotions. The control of emotional value also needs self-control, and the foundation is to eat, drink and sleep well to ensure basic physical fitness.

3. There is no doubt.

Of course, there are not many things that need to consume self-control, such as dieting, exams, and dealing with work pressure. Because people's self-control ability is constant and limited. If they spend here, there may be no profit there. Secondly, when you encounter a head-on conflict, you need to learn to think in an "unquestionable" way.

In other words, suppose the other person cares about you and loves you, and then look for evidence from reality to prove that he doesn't love you. If you can't find tangible evidence, raise the voice of "He loves me very much" from the subconscious level to the conscious level, and use self-control to restrain yourself from making a series of emotional actions.

Only when your's relationship continues to be stable can the other party get a "sense of sureness" from you, and this sense of sureness can continue to be stable until the later period, which is a feeling of "habit". In this process, if your emotions are repeated, you even tentatively propose a fake breakup many times. Then the relationship between your will be intermittent, and the sense of sureness will not be well formed. Why can't you leave it?

4, their own state

The premise of emotional value is your own positive state. If you want to provide good emotional value to each other, you must first be a positive and optimistic person, which is undoubtedly the premise. If you don't meet the emotional value provided by this condition, it is easy to look fake.

You should remember that no one will choose to fall in love with an "dissatisfied woman" who sighs all day whether she will leave or not, hoping that the other person can do things according to your ideas and remain in a state of demanding emotional value. A person who can provide emotional value is absolutely self-sufficient and will not ask for emotional value frequently.

In addition to being unhappy, complaining, criticizing and accusing, asking the other person why he doesn't love you is also the most common first expression of asking for emotional value. If you want the other person to receive your positive emotional output, as the other half, the easiest way is to praise the other person. Why do people say that I provide positive emotional value every day? Why do I feel useless?

5. Provide positive emotional value.

That's because your center of gravity is upside down. On the other hand, if someone praises me for something every day, I either feel that it is torturing me or asking for something from me. I don't accept what you call emotional value. It's normal. This kind of offering is more like what I want from you, but I have nothing to exchange with you, and I can only try my best to provide you with emotional value.

For example, when you get along, the other person cooks a dish, even if the taste of the dish is not so to your liking, then you can praise him for his "good craftsmanship" when doing practical things. The essence of a person's emotional value is to be loved and strongly accepted.

In a way, when we provide emotional value, we are actually telling each other that you are worthy of being loved and liked. I like you and accept you, so I will be willing to pay for you. Often people who always please each other in their feelings have the lowest emotional value, because you are too stable and the other party doesn't need to invest any emotional value for you.

6. Verification test

Therefore, in an intimate relationship, you don't need to please the other half all the time. We don't need to avoid shielding and conflict when appropriate, and we don't need to rack our brains to make each other happy. Sometimes it can attract the other party to pay, which can be an emotional value. This is also the "compliance test" that needs to be mentioned.

The strategy of emotional value is: obey the test. Obeying the test is mainly to ask the other person to do something to ensure that he is serving you. Polite girls belong to a kind of unconditional obedience. In intimate relationships, they usually accept all the demands of each other, even if some demands violate their principles and bottom line, they will choose to tolerate them.

In their minds, because I love you, I will give everything for you. If you also have the above thoughts and behaviors, then you will enter the rhythm of "licking the dog". Of course you have to obey, so that the other party will feel your rebellion and strength and reduce your interest in interacting with you. So what should you do?

7. Investment principles

Before you do anything, you need to remember this principle: I am willing to listen to you and do things, not because I love you, but because you love me. The essence of the pursuit is not that I pay for you, and then you will fall in love with me, but that I guide you to pay for me, and then let you get used to this behavior and make you inseparable from me.

There is a need to mention an "investment principle". The more he does for you, the more he misses you, so he will think that he loves you very much. Whenever you choose to obey the other person and be nice to him, you should be clear about what your reward is and strengthen the behavior that the other person pays for you.

If he is unkind to you, even if you are anxious, scared and have no substantial evidence from the other party, you still need to resist. Because emotional value is based on emotional stability. If you can't even pass the first level, how can you upgrade later? For example, in the process of communicating with each other, you can tell your boyfriend that you have the habit of sleeping late, and the alarm clock usually can't wake you up.

8. Emotional involvement

At this time, if you speak, most men will choose to pick you up, express their wishes and call you tomorrow. If your boyfriend is dull and not good at expression, you can also ask him directly, hoping he can give you a good morning call.

Don't underestimate this good morning call. Although it is a small matter, it is easy for you in the partnership to agree. But when he wants to do this kind of behavior, he should always think about setting an alarm clock for himself tomorrow morning so as not to delay his work.

Then he must have been thinking about it before going to bed and the next morning. This is actually an investment in your feelings. Then we can go deeper. Before the next exam, you can say to him: after you wake me up in the morning, can you bring me a breakfast by the way? I stayed up late to work overtime yesterday.

You see, this is a higher level than before, but this boy has obeyed you once before and will continue to obey you habitually this time.